"Mono/Dialogue"

  'Inner thoughts'

  Narration

  [Message/communication apparatus]

  Date: July 1091

  Location: Somewhere in Terra.

  POV: Nyx

  My hand stopped signing more orders about how to deal with the relocation, jurisdiction, and legality regarding the action itself. Cordelia had submitted the necessary documentation to register it when it was finished to make it legitimate that their HQ would be moved soon.

  Conrad had given me an update on our situation. Margaret had finally done it, she didn’t back down from joining the Major. I could not get in contact with her too easily, the amount of spies hounding my ass had increased tenfold. The trick I used to fool them won’t work again. Sure, I could try and shake them off, but that would spark unnecessary tension.

  No matter how much I tried to py it off as none of my problems, the nations of Terra wouldn’t care. I would be automatically considered to be on the side of the Nearl when I get in contact now. That would in turn make my life hard and Deby is lucky, she has an actual leash to assure outsiders. Mine had grown tenuous it could snap at any given moment.

  I regret not getting in touch with Margaret before the damn competition, but I couldn’t spare the time when networking and negotiating manpower forced me to look outside of Kazimierz. That is without mentioning how I’m fucked by the Victorian suddenly looking into me. Conrad had reported that they have someone who leaked some of my conversations to them, but I don’t know who, and the obvious suspect is much too obvious it is stupid.

  ‘I bitten off more than I could ever chew. When a country is taking you seriously, I doubt you could do much but suck it off for a while.’ I’m not going to go as far as ciming why the hell they are looking at me so quickly, but man… times were simpler before I made the company. Is it time to pawn it off? But how could I expin Wdirosa’s transformation? It will bring even more problems. They might be forced to leave for the badnds by then, which is a hot pot for disaster.

  I’m not Kazimierzian to begin with, just a resident and I’m burning through my favors.

  [My dy?] Drat, I forgot he is waiting for my response.

  “Sorry, I feel a bit under the weather… can you repeat the status of our assets in Ursus?”

  [The situation is tenuous at best. Waves of protest against the aristocrats in Rurikgrad being quashed by military force were true. Ursus Government, the Nobles faction to be exact, shifted the bme towards the infected group dubbed as the Reunion to be the catalyst for that massacre. Our people on the ground narrowly escaped from being accused of being complicit, although they must leave their old lives behind after a costly negotiation.]

  “Good, do you get the dirt to make them back the fuck off if they persist while we pull away from the west?”

  [W have ample evidence to make them tear each other apart. As a side tangent, why Yan?]

  “Dad said that there might be someone of interest there for me. As you know, my Art is still very much a mystery. I could get a handle on it, but it was never enough. Singing more than once every month made me vomit blood. Pushing myself to the extreme made the blood turn bck. I still don’t know how to keep them for sample, the shitty liquid keeps evaporating.”

  [The duel had brought you to the verge of death; you owe your abnormal body greatly. From what I had analyzed on the recording of your combat with the King of Vam-]

  “King of Twink.”

  [You’re being childish, and do I need to remind you that proper respect costs you nothing?]

  “Hmph, your point being?”

  [What do you mean by my point being? He is a… moving on… Your body and mind, presumably, entered a state of trance. I had compared how when you’re singing, your body responds to any outside stimuli at a greater pace but your mind is stuck primarily on a singur objective. The moment the song was interrupted, those heightened senses ended. It might sound great on paper, but you could have avoided injuring yourself and then incurring less harm if you paid attention.]

  “Which is why I need to go east after this debacle…”

  [If you can go east. There are chances that Kazimierz would imprison you instead. Be warned, this time no amount of favors or power meddling would be enough other than you offering yourself to your next benefactor’s service. I must also bring to your attention the Catastrophe Messenger, they would most likely terminate their binding contract with you if even one of our moves were discovered. Lastly, Yan could just rebuff you and you could do nothing.]

  “Duly noted, then can you go back on the topic?”

  [Cordelian operatives had managed to snap some pictures of infected extrajudicial execution to contaminate a section of town with Originium, perfecting the narrative for local government. The military has been mobilized and there have been reports of people who were erased from records.]

  “How is the professor doing?”

  [We managed to get him and his family evacuated to safety. He mented the fact that the Emperor was so powerless to stop all this madness but he thanked us for saving his family. He should have sworn an oath of service to Cordelia soon enough.]

  Conrad paused. While waiting, I continue with the paperwork that for once in my life feels rather fulfilling and not just stupid bureaucratic nonsense. Ever since Damazti’s introduction, I’ve been stuck without mercy to grapple with the many, many legal papers, stiputions, or even pin nonsense. Thankfully I don’t have to wait for long.

  [Additionally, one of our field agents had made contact with a phinthropic group called Azazel.]

  “Azazel? What kind of phinthropy are we talking about here?”

  [They offered cheap treatment on Oripathy and showed general disdain for the infected’s oppression. I had yet to delve deeper into their inner workings, but supposedly they have a retired Ursine General in their midst; a powerful clout to have considering the Nobles rarely took kindly on detractors.]

  “That sounds promising, any idea how we could gain their trust?”

  [I have a few in mind, but it is highly doubtful they would believe us. Ursine nobles had done a magnificent job in dividing its popuce. Common people’s concerns rarely align even with one another, it was one of the reasons why joining a noble’s army is the best way to gain some sembnce of social advancement and human decency.]

  “So Azazel would be wary with us not necessarily due to our approach but more of the societal and security side of things. Speaking about this program of theirs, they most likely operate in the underbelly right?”

  [Positive. The number of spies in Ursine Bck Markets could be counted on one hand, it would do well for you to mend retions with the underworld.]

  “…”

  [Very well, I take that as a no. Regardless, the next phase to stall the potential civil war is in pce… but are you sure? It would paint a big target on your back, and even the Adeptus would be forced to adopt a harsh stance against you.]

  “Why are you wasting your time with useless questions? Those that had been said getting repeated feels like rhetoric sooner or ter.”

  [It is not, in any way, rhetoric my dy. We are speaking about your health and safety here. Then do I need to remind you about how much resources you had spent in ensuring the horrors of war are lessened? If it happened, hopefully, you’re very wrong on this, you might be vindicated but it is a one-way trip with no return.]

  “My entire health and wealth be damned, both would have been a lot worse if civil war erupted. My exile as an idiotic loser would feel much better than being called a Kingmaker. Conrad in exchange for you stop nagging about my health, I would be more honest in the future… how’s that sound?”

  [… Acknowledged, have a good night my dy. Rest assured, the best of the best you had trained shall carry out their objectives swiftly and quietly.]

  “Thank you… and I’m sorry.”

  [Perish the thought, it is only right for the butler to alleviate his dy’s burden and to carry on her wishes to the tter.]

  “Heh… see you again after all this blows over.” Deleting the channel and its logs after that, I reclined back on my chair. The st few months have been hectic, I barely have time to attend the children’s birthday parties… I wonder how angry would Lina be if she knew what I was doing.

  “Whatever, I could ment further complications ter. It is going to be much harder to keep them away from probing into my condition… unless…” The idea that flitted through my mind would hurt a lot of people. I just hope that Mwi doesn’t take it too badly, but I am at the end of my wits here.

  Pretending that all I need is Lina would be bad for her. I projected so many repressed emotions on her, that it almost feels like I’m the one using her just to feel good with myself and ignore the problem. Kal’tsit must have hidden something, but why? She would have known that if I got the cure for it, I could not fight back against whatever request she wanted… what the hell is that woman thinking?

  Or perhaps I have been overestimating her? Then where the hell could I gain an insight for it? Columbia is famed for having the test technology, but I would rather not give them any ideas and leads on my affliction.

  ‘I need to find a cure; there are already medicines advanced enough to treat cancer… Possibly, that forgotten chamber I had been awakened from could give me some ideas and insights on what to do. However, I could not do that with these damn spies on my ass…’

  Sighing for the many times that day, I continue fighting back against the mountain of paperwork. Unlike with humans, mauling papers won’t make them go away…

  Location: Kawalerielki, Kazimierz

  POV: Margaret Nearl

  “Margaret Nearl! Was it true that you’re competing to recim your family’s lost glory?!” How many times had that question been asked of me? The interviewers and reporters had been hounding me non-stop just for the same old answer. My heart had grown weary, but I needed to be polite.

  “No, I’m competing for my name and ideals.”

  “Margaret Nearl! I’m from the Rosebloom Co. and can I ask your opinion on K.G.G.C.?”

  “My stance has yet to change, I have no desire to seek their sponsorship. There was never any problem for a solo competitor before.”

  “Miss Nearl! Miss Nearl! Could it be that you wish to revive the old Pegasian rule?! Rumors abound that you are indeed a pureblood of Pegasian monarch!” Ah, this… an even more outndish rumor and gossip. People say that I’m doing it for the glory of a bygone era, I do not even need to close my eyes to have a dream where such a thing is possible. People often said that by becoming a Queen, I could shape a better future.

  ‘I do not know about that, I’m here for the people who couldn’t even stand on their own at this very moment. I just wish that winning this championship will grant me something to make their sacrifice have meaning.’ I’m still trying to wade my way through the crowd, which only grows with time.

  “Please, do not believe such a rumor. I have no desire to revive something so archaic.”

  “Miss Margaret! Please marry me! I’m your no.1 fan!”

  “Don’t listen to him! I’m your number one!”

  “Margaret! Margaret! Margaret!”

  My smile faltered slightly. I could feel the genuine admiration in their words. I’m fttered, I am, but it contrasted with the gratitude and admiration I felt from the people who aren’t so fortunate.

  I remember that one time a child thanked me for burying their parents, the admiration and hope in his words is but one of many motivations for me to set foot in this decadent city I grew to despise. I can see why my Uncle hates any notions of doing this nation a service, people are so disconnected from one another it feels surreal that we are even one nation and one people.

  He is free to think and fight for what he wants just as I did too. Didn’t Auntie also fight for this? I watched how many people in Wdirosa and the orphanages cimed that she saved them. My travels and patrols also allowed me to meet with those she had saved as well. I do not wish for a throne or personal glory.

  Of course, there are also those on the other end of the spectrum.

  “Curse you, you damn cheater! You entitled Campaign Knight shouldn’t be here!”

  “Was the glory not enough for you?! What a greedy blueblood bitch!”

  “How is this allowed?! There was favoritism to allow soldiers to compete!”

  “Must have been through backdoor dealing.”

  “The fuck you say, losers?!”

  “Yeah, if you have a skill issue then suck it up! It would have made more sense for you to be the one to suck someone off!”

  “Wow, no wonder you lose, you’re so ignorant.”

  “Lady Margaret Nearl had left the Adeptus, she is entitled to compete by the w itself!”

  “She needs to compete, or her family status would be kaput. This is all-natural consequences.”

  “Fuck off, Nearl asskisser!”

  “No, fuck you!” The situation escated into a brawl, but the security guards were quick to handle them. In the meantime, more reporters are approaching me with their inquisitive questions.

  “Was it true the Nearl Family had fallen on a hard time?”

  “Miss Nearl, I’m from the Opinion of Columbia, what is your opinion on rumors about inheritance csh with your uncle? Was it as bad as the other news portrayed?”

  “Miss, excuse me, Miss! Where is the Grey Serpent?! Or it is the truth that she is your sponsor?! Please give us an answer, the audience is dying to know!”

  “Lady Nearl! Did something happen with your family?! Lady Baroness had yet to be seen again for so long, was it true that her engagement with Sir M?ynar was annulled?!”

  ‘I understand that you wish to get an actual engagement from the viewers, but that was out of line.’

  “It would do well to not seek and spread cheap gossip.” I couldn’t help the snarl bleeding into my voice. The reporter was intimidated by my sharp tone, but that didn’t stop someone else from taking their pce. I could do nothing but bear it until I could find a chance to escape. Soon I realize answering more questions is a waste of time.

  All of sudden, a white fsh blinded everyone in the vicinity. It was not enough to cause permanent impediments or sting consequences, but it was enough to give me a chance to slip away. Aunt Nyx had trained me to recover from being blinded like that using my Art. It stung my eyes, but it was better than filing in the dark.

  Moving through gaggles of a crowd is much easier than breaking through the blockade with arrows and bullets raining on me, of which I had taken a bolt on the side of my throat at one point; fortunately, it was mostly artificial. I took extra care in my steps, but some were unfortunately I bumped into. Thankfully they are fine, and thus I made my escape.

  Noticing that I had suddenly vanished, the crowd went into an uproar. It would be inconvenient to be rediscovered, but salvation came unexpectedly. From the corner of my eyes, I spot a blonde-haired Caprinae waving at me.

  I could have sworn her face looked familiar before then it clicked on my mind, that’s the Grandmaster’s adopted daughter, and we met a few times. Quite the odd poet and storyteller, one who keeps a candle around. She had grown a habit of traveling the countryside.

  “Miss Nearl, please follow me.” Her soft voice could always reach my ears. The woman never once raised her tone more than necessary unless it was one of the many sessions for storytelling. Nodding at her, I pick the speed.

  “Thank you, Lady Viviana, and how fortuitous seeing you here. Do call me Margaret, please. It felt odd to have the Grandmaster’s daughter call me with honorifics.” She steps aside, allowing me to get through the narrow gap and she beckons me to follow. I still could not believe how mature she had become despite being almost half a decade younger than me.

  “Then I shall implore you to call me without one as well and please perish the silly thought, we are both quite the adventurous dies. By the by, I had watched your match… it was an awe-inspiring dispy. Maybe mirroring one of the books I had read.”

  “I’m not sure about such part but thank you nonetheless. It was honestly a training in perseverance to accommodate these people.” Walking through the deserted alleyway, I can appreciate its serenity no matter how artificial. The meadows had become a second home for sort, stepping on concrete felt… discombobuting.

  “Indeed, I had a publisher with eyes for blood hounding my pen name’s works. He was genuinely impressed, judging by his tone, but his desire for monetarily gain first and foremost was… off-putting. The only publisher I still considered would be Cordelia, but they are quite the fishy actor thus my reluctance to give more than an audiobook.”

  “You wouldn’t have too much trouble in literary work, I’m sure. I had been listening to your tales and found it soothing on the mind despite the topic at hand. Your voice made me torn between staying lucid or rexing and letting sleep take me.”

  Viviana giggled at my compliment. I find this friend of mine to be very charming, she is wiser beyond her years and has little desire for anything but literary work, especially about the topic of knighthood.

  “Why thank you, I’m gd that my voice could be a great deal of service to the up-and-coming Radiant Knight.” Radiant Knight… what an ostentatious moniker, but I could not decline it; this title was gifted to me by the people.

  “Radiant Knight… I do not believe I deserved such a title. All I did was do what had been taught to me, those were nothing special. If you want Radiant, my Grandfather is one.”

  “Yet when you fought in the arena, you never tried to talk down or underestimate your opponent. You show a great deal of care for their well-being but without being demeaning. You did your best without question but you will not go overboard.”

  “That’s just natural, isn’t it? When I’m in the arena, I realize that I or they are the same.” Viviana's eyes widened in surprise, but what was so surprising? Isn’t it standard practice to not hold back? Aunt Nyx always told me to be vigint and that’s it.

  “We are human, I hurt them and they hurt me, simple as that. I do understand that taunts and feints are parts of combat, but I prefer to end it as fast as possible. I know how painful it is to keep on going… ugh… it gave me goosebumps remembering my training…” I do not want anyone going through what I had with Aunt Nyx… thank goodness I did not develop a phobia of heights.

  Appears my confusion tickled her funny bones, her soft giggling mirrored the candle that lit up and danced on her palm.

  “Precisely, you are a self-expnatory phenomenon. I can certainly see how men and women admire you… just like a ray of hope.”

  ‘Hope huh…’

  “May I ask for an opinion?”

  “You had asked me for a dance before, boldly if I may add, thus this much I would be more than willing.” The memory of our brief dance near the prairie is undeniably memorable. Looking back, it was a truly bold move to ask a dy for a dance…

  ‘Uh… I bme my merry comrades for spiking my drink. They meant well, but I would appreciate a warning or two…’ Ignoring the heat creeping up my cheeks, I move with my question.

  “Then… what is hope? Was my dispy of martial might be a product of hope or was it ambition masquerading as hope? Was hope something that I could give unto others the same way I had taken them for granted? The more I walked on this path, the more I came to realize… I don’t even understand the core point of my hope. It is the Nearl’s creed to fear neither hardship nor darkness… but why am I wavering if hope was what I strived for?”

  “Those are loaded questions…” My Caprinae friend's eyes stared hard at her surroundings. Her nguid gaze had gained intensity she had shown only when a profound inspiration had struck or pin annoyance in her spare time did the honor. Dragging her eyes on the book she clutched tightly, and her expression softened into a smile.

  “Hope… is just like this book.” I read its title, called the Scions’ of Traitors. It is a concerning title but I could not judge it just by a book alone. Viviana accepts my silence as her cue.

  “It brings wonders and horrors in equal measure. How could it be so? This is just a book, in itself it could do nothing more than fill the bookshelves and sit pretty in utter silence or, if you are a very rude person, a weapon to throw at someone.”

  “I would not throw a book, that’s the height of insolence.”

  “See? Self-expnatory. But moving on, it would be even worse when a book ends up gathering dust without ever being read. A sad fate, don’t you agree?”

  “Yes, I heard from a few of my literary gifted associates how soul-crushing it was when no one was taking interest in their works.”

  “That is hope. So simple, but intangible. Hope is a natural concept; free from motives because it is nothing if no one acts upon it. I need to warn you however, that hope is intoxicating and there are times when learning to let go is the closest road to a happy ending.”

  “Time to let go… but wouldn’t it extinguish the spark that had bloomed?”

  “Oh my, I never took you to be a pessimist.” I feel my heart clenched from her words. A fsh of memory when I stood watching my uncle do nothing flitted through my mind. There I was, hoping him to be who I thought of him to be… but he didn’t until it was too te. Father and Mother had been long gone when he woke up from his stupor.

  “… Maybe I’m always a pessimist, but I’m too stubborn to admit it.”

  “That stubbornness had made you the way you are. You saved those people, you braved the flood, and even took a hit for a child who did no wrong.”

  “That doesn’t answer anything about the pessimism I never knew to have.”

  “I’m sorry to say this but… that is the point of hope.”

  “… Excuse me?”

  “Hope is something painful to hold onto, but it is also something that allows us to dream and bear the pain. Hope is essentially… nothing but an ideal dream. Then what would happen if someone held onto that hope? You. You suffered, yes, but have you ever regretted saving that old dy from a pack of rampaging burdenbeasts?”

  “Never.”

  “That is why, hope is painful to have but it is such a blessing for us all. It is madness because we believed such an abstract concept, yet I wager… that’s the best we could make of it.” She sighs, heavy and wanting but so helpless.

  “I… had my hope dashed in front of my eyes before… but I must let go because I found another hope that… even without me, those I cherish could carry on.” She made an oddly familiar look the day I saw myself in the mirror.

  A sad and lonely smile was etched on her lips, I could feel the longing and envy bleeding through such a kind girl. What circumstances befallen her adoption I do not know, but it just feels like… I found a kinship of sorts with her. Viviana turns the smile into a positive one.

  “So… what is hope to you?”

  -

  -

  -

  -

  After bidding my goodbye to a dear friend and then taking the winding path, I’m finally back home. Naturally, I was privy to the assault incident, but it is best if I do not dig deeper. For all intents and purposes, I have a feeling those 2 had hands in the cleanup but refused to eborate.

  This mansion had changed a lot, I was shocked the first time I saw what happened there. The windows had been noticeably smaller and even cleverly hidden I spotted the steel partitions, the garden on the back had newer additions, and stly… the roof looked oddly like a castle.

  Walking through the gate and inserting the keycard, courtesy of my Pythian Aunt, I walked quickly inside. The interior had changed a lot too, with the pilrs that welcomed me being thinner but sturdier. Paintings and family photos have been moved to a secured section upstairs, and the hallways are more symmetrical.

  A figure clothed in casual and open attire awaits inside. It is not something that would worry me, but the bandage and noticeable treatment do. Zofia is sitting with a magazine in hand. Her eyes flickered up with joy seeing me home, but there was this mischievous tint to them.

  “How does it feel to get hounded by reporters?” Amusement and concern in her tone warms my heart. Zofia had been trying her best in her therapy and recovery, but she failed to pass the examination. She could still force her way in; falsifying her medical record with bribes, but she doesn’t do that. We both know that Aunt Nyx would be furious.

  ‘I doubt she is not furious, I scarcely remembered the st time I was in contact with her. God, what have I done? Is it the best to do about it?’ I was prepared to have a wrathful Pythia waiting for me with a thousand different admonishments, but that never came to pass.

  She would not want me to be in this competition, especially after I deliberately avoided mentioning anything to her. My gamble to visit Wdirosa failed too, if she had been there I could have mustered up the courage and be honest.

  ‘No matter, she should know the details at this point.’

  Zofia is watching silently, I know what she is about to ask, but I rather not face it for now. I should answer her question first.

  “I would never be used to it. They are only doing their job, but oftentimes they have crossed the line.”

  “You get me. I had been doing my best not to deck an insolent man who kept pestering about Big Sis’s well-being. I was half-tempted to let that blockhead know about it.”

  “Speaking about Uncle… how is he?”

  “… He is unwilling to discuss it but did what I asked of him. That stubborn cousin of mine had been clearing the necessary paperwork for your legitimacy as the Nearl’s Knight Primus. Other than that, he added that he is not going to help you any further.”

  We chatted for a moment, mostly revolving around how it is going with her therapy, Maria’s school, Grandfather’s illness and ailment, and stly about Uncle. There is a nagging feeling that I must ask about Auntie, but just seeing her so lonely would cause only grief.

  Bidding her a good night, I head to the bath to refresh myself and retire for the day. I need to brace for people cmoring about me tomorrow, but now… I need to think hard about the answer she threw back to me.

  ‘Hope, am I fighting for them who couldn’t or not…? Would it be an answer if I persist and show the people that real knighthood is not dead…? If I cannot win, what kind of hope could bloom from it?’

  [END OF CHAPTER]

  Author’s Note:

  Yo there, this is me, myself, and I, the author who can only apologize for how much slower the pace has become this time around. I’m trying to rationalize just how much sacrifice Kiril is making to save his Granddaughter.

  Unlike canon, I’ll try to put more emphasis on how Margaret is already doubting her own decision. It is also supported by how Czcibor had implied there exist parts of the Adeptus being corrupted; further supported by M?ynar who had erased a corrupt noble during his younger days.

  That’s not a stretch really, Gravel was a sve and Kazimierz does have chattel svery. I’m gonna pull more geopolitical cards, but we’ll see how it goes.

  Second chapter update for this month and the st one would be deyed a few days, sorry.

  Ciao