‘Hey, I just pulled up.’

  I smile at my phone, and slide it into the back pocket of my jeans shorts. I hope today goes well… I take one more gnce in the mirror to make sure I look good. My outfit is definitely a little skimpy, but not any worse than the dress I was wearing yesterday. I almost look like I’m not wearing shorts depending on how this shirt sits…

  I head out into the living room and smile at my mom. “How do I look?”

  “Gorgeous.” She responds, and then chuckles. “This feels familiar.”

  “Yeah…” I say with a small ugh.

  “Emmy…” She says softly. “I don’t want to tell you how to live your life, but…”

  “I know.” I say softly. “I need to just figure it out and ask one of them out.”

  “Yeah…” She says softly. “Especially after what happened Saturday night.”

  “I couldn’t not fulfill her wish.” I joke. “She wished on her cake, and on a shooting star.”

  “I get it.” She says, not ughing at my joke. “Just, don’t let this go on for too much longer.”

  “I won’t.” I respond, and give her a hug. “I love you.”

  “I love you too.” She replies. “Now go have fun.”

  “Thanks.” I reply, and head outside.

  Tyler is leaning against his truck, and gives me a wave. He’s wearing a tanktop and a fnnel, despite the heat, with a pair of jeans. His hair is pulled into a loose bun, and he gives me a friendly wave.

  I walk up, and give him a hug. “Hey, Tyler. It’s nice to see you.”

  “Nice to see you too, Emmy.” He says with a grin. “Ready to go?”

  “Absolutely.” I say, and sling my pack off my shoulder.

  Tyler opens the door for me, and I climb inside, and pce the bag between my legs. Tyler climbs into the other side, and starts the truck. He throws on some music as we drive, and I happily listen while he sings along to a surprisingly queer country song.

  I giggle as he smiles at me, and belts out the chorus about needing a man to bend him over and rail him till he screams. I punch him lightly on the arm, and ugh.

  “I love how confident you are in yourself.” I say with a grin.

  “I have nothing to be ashamed of.” He says happily. “I know who I am, and what I like. So why should I care about what others think of me?”

  “I agree so hard.” I say emphatically.

  After a couple more songs, we pull into a dirt parking lot, and park. We hop out of the truck, and I throw my bag on my back and follow him to the start of the trail. We walk in companionable silence for a bit, until I see a big rock.

  Without saying anything, I leap up onto the rock, and scramble to the top. Tyler ughs as I turn to look at him. “Whatcha ughing at?” I ask.

  “You.” He says with a grin. “You’re so cute.”

  “Thanks!” I shout back, and force the smile to remain on my face. My mom is right… I need to deal with this soon.

  He pulls out his phone and holds it up. I strike a pose or two, or several… and ugh along with him as he takes photos of me. After our impromptu photo shoot, I go to hop down off the rock, but think better of it.

  After carefully climbing down off the rock, I grab Tyler’s arm and lean into him. “Let me see!”

  He chuckles, and holds the phone up. I swipe through the photos and giggle. “You liking what you see?” He asks.

  “Yeah…” I say softly. “Yeah, sorry.”

  “What’s wrong?” He asks.

  “Just still getting used to actually feeling pretty.” I say softly.

  “How could you ever not see yourself as pretty?” He asks as we continue walking.

  “It was a whole thing…” I say, not really sure how to expin this. I’m not ready to tell him yet, maybe when we’re not in the middle of the forest. “I just… only recently really came into myself, ya know.”

  “I get it.” He says nonchantly. “I started exercising two years ago, and started growing out my hair. Really helped with my self-esteem issues.”

  “You had self-esteem issues?” I ask.

  “Oh yeah,” He chuckles. “Big time.”

  “I can’t even imagine that making sense, but…” I say, stumbling slightly. “If you saw me even a few months ago, you wouldn’t have been into me.”

  “I highly doubt that.” He says with a ugh.

  “You’d be wrong.” I chuckle nervously.

  “Emmy,” He says softly. “You realize I like you for more than just your looks, right?”

  “Yeah…” I say softly.

  “It doesn’t matter to me how you used to look.” He says emphatically. “It doesn’t even matter how you look now. I like you. I like spending time with you. I just, like the way you are, ya know…”

  “I do.” I say, and pce my hand on his chest. “I really do, I just…” I shake my head. “Not now, ter.”

  “Okay.” He says simply.

  We continue walking for a while, until we eventually come to a side path. He starts going down it, so I follow him. The path is very steep and uneven, to the point where I’m practically just sliding down.

  We emerge onto the bank of a pond, with a waterfall rushing down at the far end. “Whoa…” I say softly. “It’s so pretty!”

  “It is.” He agrees. “We’re not done yet though. There’s a better viewing spot up ahead.”

  “Then let’s go!” I say happily.

  He leads me over to a stack of rocks, and climbs up them quickly and easily. “Come here, I’ll pull you up.”

  I nod, and cimb up to the biggest rock. He leans down and grabs my hand before carefully pulling me up. It takes me a moment to get purchase on the stone, and I nearly pull him down as I scramble up.

  “Thanks.” I say, my breaths coming out in heavy pants.

  “No problem.” He says with a grin, before walking over to a log that I had not seen before.

  He steps up onto it and starts walking across the massive fallen tree to the opposite bank. I nervously step onto it, and start walking forward. The log is wet, and I find myself taking the smallest of steps.

  “You okay?” He asks.

  “I um…” I say softly, and accidentally gnce down before shooting my eyes to the sky. “I have a thing about water…”

  “Emmy!” He shouts. “Why didn’t you tell me?!”

  “I didn’t think about it!” I shout.

  I take another step forward, and scream as my foot slips on the wet bark. I spread my arms and grab onto the log tightly. My breaths come in heavy gasps as I am forced to watch the smooth ripples of the pond beneath me.

  My vision goes gray around the borders and I retch into the water far below. After a few moments I feel hands under my arms, and scream as I am hoisted off the tree into Tyler’s arms. I curl into him, and sob into his shoulder.

  At some point feel myself lowering, and then contact something warm and firm. Tyler holds me in his p for some amount of time as I sob. He rubs my back in small circles, and I shudder into him.

  After a long time, I eventually manage to find my voice. “I’m sorry…”

  “Do not apologize.” He says soothingly. “You did nothing wrong.”

  “I panicked…” I expin. “You had to save me…”

  “I will always save you when you need it.” He promises. “Always.”

  My sobs renew, and I bury my face into his chest. “You shouldn’t care for me so much!” I shout. “I’m not worth it!”

  “You are completely worth it.” He says while stroking my hair.

  “You don’t get it!” I shout back at him. “I’m not…” I murmur. “I’m not a good person.”

  “How can you even think that?!” He asks incredulously. “What could possibly have you thinking that you’re bad.”

  “I’ve been completely indecisive about you and Paige.” I reply glumly. “Last night I was so certain I was going to choose her, and today I can’t imagine not choosing you. This isn’t fair to either of you in the slightest!”

  “It is fair,” He says. “Because I knew about this. You’ve already told me about Paige, and I told you that no matter what you figure out you want, we’ll still be friends.”

  “I…” I splutter. “I’m not…”

  “You’re worth it.” He says. “Just having you as a friend is worth it.”

  “Thank you.” I murmur, and look up at him. “God, I must look so gross right now.”

  “You’re beautiful, Emmy.” He says softly. “You’re always beautiful.”

  I lean forward ever so slightly, and so does he. Our lips get closer, and closer, until they are only a fingers width apart.

  “I’m trans.” I blurt out. Why the fuck did I say that…

  “Oh…” Tyler says softly. “Like…”

  “Like I was born in the body of a boy.” I say simply. “I started transitioning only a few weeks ago, not long before our airsoft game.”

  “Wow…” He whistles. “I would never have known.”

  “Yeah…” I reply quietly.

  “You chose the worst possible pce for this, ya know.” He says with a smile.

  “What do you mean?” I ask.

  “Emmy,” He says incredulously. “We’re alone in the woods a good mile and a half away from cell service, with a log you can’t cross on your own and a rock you can’t climb down on your own. Had I been violent, or even just chosen to leave, you would’ve been fucked.”

  “I couldn’t let you kiss me without telling you.” I say softly. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

  “Why would you need to?” He asks. “You never have to tell anyone unless you’re getting physical with them.”

  “Is it…” I say softly. “Do you…”

  “Yes I still want to date you.” He finishes a question I was not going to ask for me.

  “Why…?” I ask.

  “Because you’re a cute and interesting girl.” He says happily. “I like you.”

  “But, I’m…” I start to say.

  “Trans or not,” He says. “You’re still a girl.”

  Without thinking I sit up into him and press my lips to his. He happily cups my cheek and holds me close. Our kiss starts slow, but quickly turns deep and heated as he pushes me down onto my back.

  I groan as his weight shifts onto me, and he presses me into the earth. My body ignites, and I writhe against his form. My hands find his back and I happily run my nails down his spine. He groans against me, and moves softly against me as we kiss.

  After a long time, and far too soon, he pulls back from me. “You’re so pretty.” He says, and strokes my cheek.

  “You’re so hot.” I reply, a rge smile on my face, and heat in my cheeks.

  He kisses me again, much quicker and softer, and then sits up off of me. “Come on, we should go eat.”

  I smile, and let him pull me to my feet. We walk up a hill to a small clearing with a couple of trees and a log set up almost as a bench to look out over the pond. He gestures to the log, and I happily sit down on it.

  He digs into his backpack, and pulls out a bag of chips, a pair of soda’s and two sandwiches. “It’s not much.” He says softly.

  “It’s perfect.” I say, and start unwrapping the sandwich.

  “It’s peanut butter and jelly.” He says with a smile. “Hope that’s okay.”

  “It’s great.” I admit. “One of the only good tasting sandwiches I can eat.”

  “I know.” He says with a grin.

  I happily dig into the sandwich before eating some of the sour cream and onion chips, and drinking my soda. We don’t talk much while we eat, and I’m happy to just focus on food for a while.

  Eventually, once most of our lunch is eaten, he stands, and helps me back over the log. We walk back to the edge of the pond, and I freeze.

  “Want me to carry you?” He asks.

  “Is there another way around?” I respond.

  “Nope.” He replies.

  “Then yes, please.” I breathe.

  He pulls me up into his arms again, and I shove my face into his neck and shut my eyes tight. After an agonizing long time, he gently lowers me to the ground. I open my eyes, and step out of his embrace.

  “Thank you.” I say sweetly.

  We hop down the rocks carefully, and then continue walking along the trail, hand in hand. I smile gleefully as we hike, and take sporadic drinks from my water pack.

  “You ready for school to start?” He asks awkwardly.

  “Yeah.” I say happily. “I like being the new me, and it’ll be nice to get to be myself around actual people constantly.”

  “And what am I?” He asks. “Chopped liver?”

  “You know what I mean…” I growl, and punch him in the arm pyfully. “Around people who I’m not thinking about dating.”

  “Yeah..” He says slowly. “I get it. It must be really exciting.”

  “Oh, it is.” I admit. “It’s an incredible feeling. It’s part of something you do that I really love.”

  “Oh?” He asks. “And what would that be.”

  “You treat me like a girl.” I say simply.

  “I mean,” He says. “I don’t think I really treat people differently based on gender.”

  “You do.” I say with a giggle. “It’s so obvious too. I mean, would you have carried me on the way back from airsoft if I was a guy?” “If I still wanted to date you, yes.” He says with a sly smile.

  “Oh, you…” I say, and give him another soft punch on the arm. “But, like, I don’t know… It’s hard to expin. Like…” I groan in frustration. “Like, when you had your glow up, did you notice people treating you differently?”

  “Oh yea.” He admits. “I instantly received so much more respect than I had before.”

  “It’s like that!” I excim. “Like, people started caring about me more. People speak to me differently. People look at me differently, ya know.”

  “Kinda.” He says.

  “When I first realized you liked me,” I say. “It like, triggered something in me. Like, you were into me, as a straight guy would be into a girl, ya know.”

  “Because that’s what this is.” He says.

  “Yeah but like,” I pause. “Realizing that. Realizing that you saw me as a girl, and were attracted to me. It changed something in me. I don’t know if you noticed, but I started doing these silly cute things, solely for the reactions. For people to think I’m cute.”

  “I did notice.” He says with a grin. “You certainly threw Braedon for a loop. He was so pissed when he figured out you were into me.”

  “Pissed?” I ask, a little worried.

  “Not like, angry.” He reassures. “Just like, upset that he liked you, but couldn’t have you.”

  “Have me?!” I nearly shout.

  “Sorry, I’m not doing this justice.” He says. “You know what I mean.”

  “It sounds like he sees me like an object.” I say. “It’s so… gross…”

  Memories of how I saw May st year, of how I acted around her, and spoke about her, resurface into my mind. Oh my god… That was me… That’s how people reacted to me. My stomach gurgles and I fall to my knees in the grass and throw up behind a bush.

  Tyler immediately rushes to my side and pulls my hair out of my face. After I finish emptying my stomach of our recently eaten food, I finally stand up. Tyler pulls me into a hug and strokes my hair.

  “You okay?” He murmurs against my head.

  “No…” I say softly. “I um… I wasn’t a great person, really ever… and thinking about how I felt about Braedon, made me realize that that's how most people saw me… Well, see me, anyway.”

  “Oh shit…” He says softly. “You don’t seem like that person anymore though.”

  “Aren’t I?” I ask. “I fucking kissed you, and I’m still not certain about us dating. How am I not still that person?” “Are either me, or the girl you’re into, unhappy with your advances?” He asks. “Have either of us stated that we feel upset or weird about how you act?”

  “No…” I say softly.

  “Then it’s not the same.” He replies. “Would the old you have taken time to heal, despite having people wanting you?” “No…” I repeat.

  “Exactly.” He says with a grin. “I don’t think that was even you being problematic, I think it was you not realizing you were trans, and it coming out in bad ways.”

  “Maybe…” I say softly. “A lot of stuff could be excused that way, but it would just be an excuse.”

  “I’m not saying they never happened.” He insists. “Just that they have a different source than you thought.”

  “And that makes it better?” I ask.

  “Yes.” He says simply. “It does.”