“Oh, Emmy…” I murmur as I trail kisses up her neck. “I’m going to miss you so much.”

  “I’m going to miss you too.” I shiver slightly as she runs her fingers along my bare shoulder. “You know, I may be going home, but we don’t have to stop hanging out.”

  “What do you mean?” I ask, a little confused. As much as I would love to go home with her, I don’t see that happening.

  “Well…” She says, smiling down at me. “You know that video game I mentioned?”

  I think for a moment before nodding. “Nightfall, right?”

  “Yeah,” She says, and kisses my forehead. “I could buy it for you. We could py together.”

  I blush slightly at the thought. The fact that she actually wants me to participate in the things she likes makes me so happy. “I’d love that.”

  “Sounds good.” She says, and sits up slightly. “You have a computer, right?”

  I giggle at my girlfriend, and fully sit up off of her. “Yes, I have a ptop.”

  “Do you have a mouse, or headphones or anything?” Emmy asks.

  I shake my head. “Uh, no… Is that a problem?”

  “No.” She says with a smile, and reaches for her phone. “Just give me a moment.”

  While she does whatever it is she’s doing on her phone, I set about getting dressed. As nice as it is being naked with her, May could come home at literally any moment. Once I’m dressed, I look at the two piles of clothes that remain on the floor.

  “Emmy,” I ask, and smile as she looks over at me. “Which outfit do you want to wear, your old one, or your new one?”

  “My new one?” She asks, her head tilting in the most adorable way. “What do you mean?”

  “You seemed so happy about them earlier, so I want you to have them.” I say, smiling at my girlfriend. “And honestly, they’re more your style than mine. You look way better in them than I do.”

  She blushes fiercely at me, before looking down. “It would be better for you to hold on to them regardless.” She says. “I can only really wear them around you anyways.”

  “Why?” I ask, confused.

  “My parents know I’m a boy. If they knew what I was doing… well, I’m not sure they’d let me see you again.”

  Fear immediately fills my heart, and I feel a tear prick at the corner of my eye. “That can’t happen.” I say quickly. “I can’t handle being away from you. Four days was already too much time apart.”

  “Shhhh…” She murmurs softly into my hair. “It’ll be fine. Nothing’s going to happen. I promise.”

  I nod repeatedly, feeling extremely silly for my outburst. “Thank you, my love.” I whisper.

  “Always, Holly. Always.” She kisses my forehead one more time before reaching for the clothes she arrived in and pulling them on. “Go grab me your ptop, babe. I’ll get the game set up.”

  I nod, and set about searching for it. It ends up being under the bed, between the frame and the wall. I pull it out, and then check for the charger. Not here. Great. I turn and see Emmy mostly dressed, and can’t help but smile at her.

  Oh how things change. A few weeks ago I would have pushed Emmy to be a girl at home with the hope of her getting hurt. Now, I can’t imagine letting her get hurt. I will do anything I can to keep Emmy safe and happy… and by my side.

  My ptop charger is hiding underneath my dresser, and I pull it out with a flourish. “Found it!”

  “Yay!” Emmy says, looking absolutely adorable. I love this girl so much. “Let me see your ptop.”

  I pass it over to her, and quickly find an outlet to plug in the charger. Emmy sits there typing away on my computer for a moment, before sitting back. I sit down next to her, leaning on her heavily and massaging her shoulders.

  She reaches up with her left hand to take mine, and starts rubbing my knuckles. She’s so wonderful… God… I really don’t deserve her. She’s so sweet and loving, and I’m just… evil. She deserves better. My chest goes hollow as I think this. She deserves better, but I can’t let her go. I won’t. I need her.

  She hands the ptop to me, and slides to the side. “Put in your email, and then make a username and password.”

  I nod, type in my email and usual password, then sit there for a moment on the username box. “What’s your username?”

  “LunarEcho.” She says with a smile.

  Even her username is cute. “I love it…” After a few moments, the perfect name pops into my head, and I type it out. “What do you think?”

  “SorEcho?” She says with a grin.

  “I wanted to match with you…” I say, my voice trailing away.

  “It’s cute.” Emmy says with a smile, before pnting her lips on mine. “I love it.”

  “And I love you.” I say, and mean it with every fiber of my being.

  I watch Emmy’s eyes fre with light as she leans forward to kiss me. “I love you too.”

  I haven’t been this happy in so long… and it’s all because of this wonderful girl. I sigh as I turn back to the ptop. I can’t believe I was ever trying to hurt her. She is staring at me thoughtfully, and I tilt my head. What’s she thinking about?

  “Emmy?” I ask, enjoying her name on my tongue. Her name isn’t the only thing of hers that I enjoy on my tongue.

  I don’t have time to think about my dirty joke as Emmy starts speaking. “Do you have any interest in meeting my friends?”

  I… She… “Yes. I’d love to.” I say truthfully.

  Her smile nearly melts my heart. “Then let's get you set up with a Harmony account.”

  ?????????????

  My computer loads slowly, and I shoot Holly a text, just to make sure she’s still interested.

  ‘Hey, Love. You’re still okay with meeting my friends, right?’

  ‘Absolutely.’

  ‘I have Harmony open now. Just tell me what to do.’

  ‘Alright, give me one second.’

  I hop into the Nightfall voice chat, where Nova, Volf, Haley, and our other friend Creamy, are all waiting.

  “Luna!” Creamy shouts when I enter the chat. “Good to see you again. Been a minute.”

  “Yeah,” I say, giggling slightly into the mic. “It has been. How is everyone?”

  “Good.” Volf says, his deep voice causing my ears to vibrate.

  “I’ve been better.” Haley says half-heartedly.

  “I’m good.” Nova says. “What’s wrong Haley?”

  “Just really lonely, ya know?” Haley says, sounding really down-trodden. “I told you guys there was this girl I was pnning on asking out?”

  Right, the mystery girl that Haley would never talk about. I’m guessing this isn’t good news. “What happened?”

  “She got in a retionship before I could ask her.” Haley says sadly.

  “Oof, that sucks.” Volf says.

  “Yeah, I’m really sorry about that, Haley.” I say, feeling bad for my friend.

  “It’s okay.” Haley says, her voice rising slightly. “You looking to py ranked?”

  “No, actually.” I say, and take a small breath. “I bought Nightfall for my girlfriend, and I’m gonna teach her how to py… I was hoping to introduce her to you as well.”

  “I’d love to meet her!” Nova says immediately.

  “Same here.” Creamy responds.

  “I’m down for whatever.” Volf says. “Teaching someone new to the game sounds like fun.”

  “I should warn you,” I say cautiously. “She’s never pyed a first person shooter before. She’s also my girlfriend, so cut her generous amounts of sck, will ya?”

  “We won’t be mean, I promise.” Creamy says, a joking tone in her voice. “I’ll kick anyone who causes a problem.”

  “Thank you.” I say, and then send Holly an invite.

  It takes a few moments for anything to happen, and then suddenly she’s here. Holly doesn’t say anything at first, and I am about to introduce her when Creamy speaks up. “Hi! With that username, you could only be Luna’s girlfriend. We’re so excited to meet you!”

  “I’m excited to meet you all too.” Holly’s voice comes out a little quiet, and I immediately worry something is wrong.

  “Is everything okay, my love?” I ask her.

  “Yeah, Emmy. Everything’s fine. Just a little nervous.”

  Creamy immediately responds to this. “Emmy?! Your name is Emmy?! Like your main?! That’s so cool!”

  “Oop.” Holly says, and I can almost hear her spping her hand to her face. “Should I not have said that?”

  “You’re fine, Holly.” I reply with a smile. I actually really like being called Emmy… By all my friends, not just my girlfriend… Strange… “I was going to tell them my name eventually.”

  “Alright well, you’ve already met Creamy.” Volf says. “You can call me Volf.”

  “Haley.” Haley says, still seeming upset from earlier.

  “Nova!” Nova says brightly. “You all ready to hop into the training grounds?”

  “I am.” I say with a smile. “Before that though, we should have Holly look through the characters, see who she wants to py.”

  “I’d like that.” Holly says, her voice light. I’m gd she’s having fun.

  “Okay.” Creamy says, her sultry voice not sounding as appealing to me as it used to. “So, there are three types of champions in the game. Support, which is what your girlfriend mains, Damage, which Volf mains, and Tank, which I main.”

  “Is there one I should be picking over the other?” Holly asks.

  “Not necessarily.” Nova says. “There are six pyers on a team, and you’re locked to only two of the same role type. Haley and I py flex though, so no matter what you want to py, you can have it.”

  “What does flex mean?” Holly asks.

  “Flex is someone who pys multiple roles.” Creamy expins. “Nova pys tank and damage, and Haley pys damage and support. Whichever you end up wanting to py, they’ll fill the other two.”

  “I see.” Holly says. “Would it be better for me to also flex, that way you all can py the champions you’re best with?”

  “Emmy,” Creamy says, her voice alight with mischief. “Your girlfriend is really smart. Can we keep her?”

  I giggle at this, and Holly’s mic falls silent. “Holly is all mine, back off.” I say jokingly. “But for real, I’d love it if she became a part of this group. It would mean a lot to me, actually.”

  “Consider it done.” Volf says. “Now come one, let’s start talking her through characters.”

  ?????????????

  I spend a bit too long looking at the different characters offered to me, and eventually settle on a girl who honestly, kinda looks like my Emmy. She’s got a bck and red theme going on, including her hair and eyes.

  “Wow.” The voice I now recognize as Nova says, a slight giddiness in her voice. “Emmy, you really picked a good one. You two were made for each other.”

  “Not that we weren’t made for each other, because we absolutely were,” I say, hoping that Emmy finds it cute and not weird. “But why do you say that?”

  “The character you chose,” Creamy says. “Era, is often shipped with Emmy. It got so popur that the game even makes a reference to it on multiple occasions.”

  Shipped? That’s a weird word. “What do you mean by shipped?”

  “Shipping is when people pair two characters together romantically.” Emmy expins.

  “I see.” I say thoughtfully. “Then I suppose I have no choice. Era is my…” My brain skips over the word. I know I’ve heard it before. “You called it a ‘main’ right?”

  “Yep.” Nova says happily. “Although maybe you should actually py with her to see if you like her.”

  “Okay.” I say. How hard can it be? “Let’s do it.”

  My screen changes to one with a loading bar, and after a few long moments, it opens up to a smaller version of the character select screen. I squint down at my ptop, and find Era. This ptop may be small, but at least I have a mouse and headphones, courtesy of my wonderful girlfriend.

  Era is actually surprisingly simple to py. She has two main abilities, one of which drains enemies of their blood, the other gives blood to my allies to heal them. Outside of that, she has two sub abilities, and an ultimate.

  One of her abilities lets her turn into a swarm of bats that make her temporarily invulnerable and give her increased speed. The other one is a sweeping cw attack that deals damage over time to the enemies, and replenishes her blood for the amount of damage dealt.

  Her ultimate ability lets her create an AI copy of the st champion she killed, which will fight on her team until it dies, or her ultimate ends. Nova expined that Era is a little weird, in that she has more health than any other support. The downside being that her health is also her blood meter, which ticks down over time, and gets drained by using abilities or healing allies.

  Worst case scenario, I can always top off my blood by damaging an enemy, so it’s really not that much a drawback. We spend the next fifteen minutes or so in a training match so that I can learn the controls.

  “You’re really picking her up well.” Emmy says, and I blush slightly at her praise.

  “Thanks, my love.” I respond. “I think I’m ready for a real game.”

  “Fuck yeah!” Creamy says excitedly. “Let’s do it!”

  Just as we are about to start searching for an actual match, Haley suddenly disconnects from the game. “I’m sorry y’all.” She says, clearly depressed. “I’m not really feeling up to this tonight.”

  I hope this isn’t because of how long I took learning the character. “I’m sorry, Haley.” I say. I really do want to be friends with all of them… I should try to help. “If you need to talk about it with someone, I’m happy to listen.”

  “We all are.” Emmy says happily.

  “Thank you.” Haley says, her voice stiff. “Maybe another time. Bye.”

  She disconnects immediately after that, leaving me wondering if I did something wrong. I really hope not. The mood is slightly dark for a little bit, but brightens quickly as Volf starts doing impressions of the different characters saying stupid things. The impressions aren’t very good, but they make us ugh.

  Our first game goes alright. Emmy has to keep telling me where to stand, and to not be so aggressive because it keeps getting me killed. I’m definitely holding the team back… Our next game goes even worse, and we lose by quite a bit. I sigh as the scoreboard pops up on screen.

  “Maybe if we had a healer who actually healed we’d be fine.” A voice I haven’t heard before says.

  Emmy quickly rushes to my defense. “She did better than you! Shut your mouth with that two and twelve crap.”

  “Yeah, y off our healer. This is her second game and she’s already way better than you.” Volf says, his voice menacing and low. He’s kinda scary. “If you’re gonna talk shit, you need to be better.”

  “Dude you py a no-skill hero too!” Nova yells at the guy. “If you’re gonna be bad at the game, at least py someone difficult so you have deniability.”

  The person doesn’t respond, and we go back to the main lobby. I feel something fall onto my hand, and look down to see a small droplet on my skin. Oh… The tears quickly turn into sobs that rack my body to the core. I fumble for the mute button on my mic, but cannot find it.

  “Holly.” Emmy’s beautiful voice sounds into my ears. “My love, I’m here. It’s okay. Just some asshole. Don’t think about it.”

  “It’s not that…” I mumble, trying to focus on Emmy’s voice so I can actually put words together. “You’re all just so nice… I… I haven’t really had friends like this before… I… Everything in my life is changing all at once, and all of it is good but… I feel like I don’t deserve it.” I sp my hand over my mouth the moment the words come out of my mouth. Shit. SHIT!

  “Holly, please… I promise, you deserve every good thing coming to you.” She sighs into the mic. “It scares me when you don’t think you’re deserving of good things, deserving of me, because I love you so much, and I only want you to be happy.”

  Thankfully, Emmy doesn’t question it, but instead jumps straight to comforting me. Yet another reason I don’t deserve her. “Thanks, Emmy.” I say, warmth working its way back into my heart. “I should probably go to bed. Good night everyone.”

  “Goodnight!” Nova says happily.

  “G’night.” Volf says, in a very him fashion.

  “Sleep well.” Creamy says.

  “Let’s hop into a private call real quick, Holly. I want to say goodnight.” Emmy says.

  “Come back after.” Creamy says to my girlfriend. “I need to talk to you about something.”

  “Sure.” Emmy says, and leaves the call.

  Almost instantly her name pops up on my screen, and I answer her call. “Hey, my love.” I say to her.

  “Hey baby.” She says softly. “I just needed you to know how much I love you. You’re my world, Holly.”

  “You’re my world too.” I say honestly. “I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.”

  “I can’t wait to see you tomorrow either.” She says, sounding really cute. “I hope you sleep well.”

  “I will.” I say with a smile. “But I’d sleep better if you were here with me.”

  “I wish…” She says, her voice trailing away. “I want that so badly, Holly. Maybe tomorrow we can just cuddle in your bed and take a nap together.”

  “I’d love that.” I reply truthfully. “Goodnight, Emmy.”

  “Mmmm…” She groans. “I love hearing you call me Emmy. Goodnight, Holly.”

  I giggle at her, and then ruefully disconnect the call. I toss my ptop and the accessories Emmy let me borrow to the side on my bed, and then curl up into my bnket. This girl, this wonderful amazing girl, is going to be the death of me. A tiny worm of doubt burrows its way into my brain. This girl…

  But she’s not a girl. Emmy is a boy who I have forced into being a girl… The tears start again, as they do every time I think about this subject. Is there a world where she would stay with me, if she knew the truth? I think about how she looked when I first saw her, which was still very feminine.

  I can’t let her go back to being a boy… I’m not attracted to her that way, but I love her so much. A loud groan escapes my lips, and I hit my head with my hand over and over again. Emmy would be better off if I didn’t exist.