We head inside, and my mom sits me down at the counter to fill out paperwork. The main part that I have to do is just putting my full name, Emmy Luna Valera, down, and then signing it. Once I’m done, I elect to take a shower before my date.

  The shower is very nice, and I end up just standing there letting the water run down my body for a while. My phone starts to ring while I’m drying off, so I pick it up and put it on speaker.

  “Hey, Holly.” I say with a grin.

  “Hey, Love.” She says happily. “How are you?”

  “Great, actually.” I say. “I’m excited for our date.”

  “Me too.” She says. “I think we might be stuck with May driving us.”

  “My mom can drive.” I say with a smile. “If that’s alright.”

  “More than alright.” She says. “I’d love to meet her.”

  “She wants to meet you as well.” I say with a smile. “What do you have pnned?”

  “I was thinking dinner, wherever you want, and then there’s a shop I want to go to, and then a surprise. Is that okay?”

  “Sounds wonderful.” I say happily. “What time should we pick you up?”

  “Does four thirty work?” She asks.

  “Absolutely.” I say.

  “Tell me what restaurant you want, and I’ll see if they can put us on the list.” She says.

  “Hmmmm.” I hum, while thinking for a moment. “There’s a pce downtown called Tempura Garden that I really like.”

  “Great.” She says happily. “I’ll get everything set up.”

  “I love you, Holly.” I say, feeling a little somber. “I love you so much.”

  “I love you too, Emmy.” She replies. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah.” I say, as I wipe away the tears. “I just needed to make sure you knew that.”

  “I do know that.” She says. “I know that without even the faintest of doubts.”

  “How’s May holding up?” I ask.

  “Not great.” She replies. “How’d you hear?”

  “I met with Paige today while out and about.” I expin. “She told me what happened… and she kinda said she was interested in me.”

  “What?!” She shouts.

  “Yeah…” I say slowly. “She also said she had something she needs to tell me, which I really hope isn’t just her asking me out, because then I’m going to have to block her.”

  “I hope it’s not either.” Holly says softly. “I… I’m gd you would block her if she did.”

  “Of course.” I say reassuringly. “I’m yours.”

  “And I’m yours.” She replies. “Forever.”

  “Forever.” I agree.

  “I’m gonna go get dressed and do my makeup and stuff. I’ll see you soon, okay, love?”

  “Yes.” She says, sounding a little upset. “See you soon.”

  I hang up, and wrap the towel around myself, making sure to cover my breasts, small as they may be, and head into my room. I look at the dress I was wearing earlier, id out on my bed, and decide to just put on comfy clothes for now. I put on the purple sleep set I got earlier, and head out into the living room.

  My mom is sitting on the couch waiting for me, and I sit down next to her. “Whatcha working on?” I ask.

  She turns her tablet to show me the rough sketch of a dress. “Working on a design for your formal dress.” She expins.

  “I really liked the consteltion dress you showed me before.” I say.

  “I like it too.” She says. “But that’s a bit too much for me to do right now. I need to start simpler.”

  “Fair enough.” I say.

  “If you want,” She offers. “I can include simir elements in this one.”

  “Please.” I say with a smile. “Can I watch you draw?”

  She nods, and I scoot close to her, and lean my head on her shoulder. The sketch slowly starts to take the shape of a thigh length spaghetti strap dress, with a ruffle pattern right below the bust.

  “What exactly did you like about the other dress?” She asks.

  “I liked the pattern, of course.” I say. “I also liked the sleeves.”

  “I see.” She says, and starts adding sleeves to it. “Do you want them short like that st one, or longer?”

  “Longer.” I say, after thinking for a moment. “Maybe with ribbons, made of the same material as the body of the dress, at the top and bottom?”

  “Were you thinking of the sleeves being a different material?” She asks.

  “Maybe white?” I ask. “I think that would look good. I’m picturing the main body as that star flecked material from the other one.”

  “Hmmm…” She says softly. “Any other ideas?”

  I point to the top ruffles. “These should be the star material, but maybe you could sew a sheer white material underneath?”

  “Ooooh!” She says excitedly, and starts adding it to the sketch. “Anything else?”

  “Maybe underneath could be like…” I think for a moment. “I’m not sure what it's called.”

  “Describe it to me.” She says.

  “Okay so,” I start. “You know that thing you see under skirts in some older dresses. They’re ruffled, and kinda make the dress poofy on the bottom.”

  “Sounds like lolita style bloomers.” She says, and starts adding to the sketch.

  Once she’s done, I watch as she makes a new yer, and starts haphazardly painting on colors. “This won’t be the final render.” She expins. “But I like to see what it looks like early on.”

  “It looks good.” I say, admiration in my voice. “Really good.”

  “Is it something you’d want to wear?” She asks.

  “Absolutely.” I say. “I’d want to wear all of your dresses.” I say with a smile.

  “Good.” She says with a smile. “Because now that I know you’re my daughter, you’re gonna be my permanent model.”

  “Yes, Ma’am.” I say with a smile.

  I hear muffled shouting through the door, and watch the doorknob rattle and then open. “I don’t give a fuck!” My dad shouts. “Tell ya what, have Eddie start paying your house payments, I’m done helping you!” My dad hangs up the phone and whispers. “Asshole.”

  “Is everything alright, Gerald?” My mom asks.

  He looks up and for the first time seems to notice that we’re here. “Yeah…” He says softly. “Yeah everything is fine. Your grandpa and I just had a falling out. No big deal.”

  “That is a big deal.” I say softly. “I know how much he means to you…”

  “Not anymore.” My dad procims. “He’s dead to me.”

  My mom stands up, and ushers me away. “Go to your room, Princess.” She says. “Your dad and I need to talk.”

  I nod, and start to walk to my room. “Just, please don’t forget about helping me with my hair.” I say.

  “I won’t.” She says.

  I walk into my room and close the door behind me. What could have happened? I decide to open up HeadTome and see if my grandpa or my uncle have posted anything about it. I scroll down through my feed, and see a smattering of my photos, posted by my dad, with the caption, ‘Today I learned that I have a daughter. She is so beautiful, and so full of joy, and I could not be happier. I can’t wait to watch you grow into the woman you always have been, Emmy.’

  There are well over forty comments, and I decide to look through them. The first couple are extremely positive. My aunt Brenda wrote, ‘Emmy is so pretty! I love this for her.’

  Her partner Raine commented, ‘Lord knows this family has enough men, I’m so happy to have another niece to spoil!’ I scroll down and read another one. My uncle Eddie wrote, ‘How could you let your son turn into a weak willed pansy? If that were my son, I’d discipline him until he got the sense to know what’s in his pants.’

  Tears prick at the corners of my eyes as I read this. My grandpa commented on it. ‘This is disgusting. How you can call yourself a father is beyond me. Make him go back to normal or kick him out is what I say.’

  The tears are well and truly flowing by the time I finish reading it. I try to scroll through the rest of the replies, but cannot bring myself to. I curl up into a ball in bed, and just sob into my pillow. Anguished tears pour out of me, and all I can do is scream.

  ?????????????

  My breaths come in rapid gasps, and I scream into my pillow. There’s nothing I can do. It’s over. I continue sobbing into my pillow. Something touches my back and I let out a scream of fear.

  “Whoa!” May shouts as I round on her.

  “Oh…” I say softly. “It’s you…” May’s eyes are puffy and red rimmed. She’s obviously been crying… I don’t bme her… “What do you want?”

  “You were screaming.” She says. “I wanted to check on you.” I shake my head, but she sits down anyway. “What’s wrong?”

  “Paige…” I say softly.

  “Isn’t that my line?” My sister says with a dry ugh. “No seriously, what’s wrong?”

  “Paige saw Emmy while she was out today.” I say. “She and Emmy exchanged numbers, and she told Emmy that they need to talk.”

  “Oh…” May says.

  “She’s going to tell Emmy the truth, and then she’ll never want to see me again…” I say pitifully. “I don’t want to lose her.”

  “Maybe you should tell her.” May says. “Get it all out, and see if she’ll stay.”

  “That’s wishful thinking…” I say. “There’s no way she would stay with me if she knew me.”

  “Probably not…” May says. “I’m sorry.” I just shake my head. “Maybe you can convince her not to?”

  “Emmy told me that apparently Paige told her she was interested in her. So she’ll probably tell her just to get her away from me so she can date her.”

  “Paige is a lesbian.” May reminds me. “If she told Danny the truth, he’d go back to being himself, and then she wouldn’t be interested in him.”

  “Maybe…” I say, and sit up. “It can’t hurt to call her.”

  I pull out my phone, click Paige’s contact, and put it on speaker. May sits silently while it rings, and then answers.

  “Hi, Holly.” Paige says coldly. “If you’re calling for May, you may as well hang up now.”

  “I’m not calling for May.” I say. “I’m calling for myself.”

  “What do you want?” She asks.

  “I…” I splutter. “Please don’t tell Emmy!”

  “So she told you we met.” She says.

  “Yeah…” I say, my voice quiet.

  “What did she say exactly?”

  “She told me you got her number, and said you needed to talk ter.” I say. “She also said you’re interested in her.”

  “She wasn’t lying.” She says. “So tell me, Holly. Why exactly shouldn’t I tell Emmy everything?”

  “I love her…” I say softly. “I genuinely, truly love her. I can’t lose her.”

  “Really…” She says sarcastically. “When did that happen?”

  “Honestly,” I say. “It started the first day I saw her in person.”

  “Expin.” She says.

  “I…” Fuck… Do I be honest here? I should be… It could help far more than lying will… Although it could hurt a lot more as well… “I pnned with my cousin to push Emmy into the water.” I say.

  “I don’t understand.” She says.

  “I wanted to get Emmy hooked on me quickly, and I figured pulling her out of the water, and helping her out would be a good way to start…” I say softly. “But, it turns out that she is terrified of water… When I pulled her out, she was having a panic attack, and it just hit me so hard how badly I fucked up.”

  “And this is supposed to be you expining how you fell in love with her?” She asks.

  “Yeah…” I say. “I felt horrible for hurting her. I… I had really enjoyed my day with her. I was looking forward to talking to her, and seeing her…” I sigh deeply. “Then, when I told her I had feelings for her… I realized afterwards that I wasn’t lying. I really did have a crush on her, and I was scared that she would reject me.”

  “Right…” She says, but sounds a bit more understanding. “Anything else?”

  “We slept together…” I say softly.

  “Whoa…” Paige says. “Really?”

  “Yeah…” I say. “I wanted to be close to her. I wouldn’t have done that if I didn’t have feelings for her.”

  “Either that, or you’re way more fucked in the head than I thought, but…” She sighs deeply. “I believe you.”

  “Oh thank god…” I say, relief flooding into my heart.

  “But I’m not sure I shouldn’t tell her.” She says, and my blood freezes in my veins.

  “Please!” I beg.

  “Why don’t you want me to tell her?” She asks.

  “I…” I say softly. “She’ll leave me…”

  “She would, yes.” Paige responds. “So, does that mean you’re just going to let her fall deeper and deeper in love with you, without ever knowing how much you wanted to hurt her?”

  “No.” I say. “I just… I want to tell her myself.”

  “When?” She asks.

  “Soon.” I promise. “Before she takes things too far.”

  Paige lets out a deep sigh. “She already kinda has.” Paige says. “You should have seen the stuff she had. Bags full of girl’s clothes. Definitely hundreds of dolrs worth.”

  “Oh…” I say softly. “I didn’t know…”

  “So, what happens now? You take however long you need to to tell her, and by then she’s even further into it? She has things that she can never use again? She has people who will never see her the same?”

  “You’re right…” I say softly, and feel tears streaming down my cheeks. “You’re right… Her mom is driving us on our date tonight, which means that she told her mom something that would convince her to let her out in girl’s clothes.”

  “Exactly.” Paige says. “Tell her, soon. Or I will.”

  The line goes dead.

  “What are you going to do?” May asks.

  “I don’t know.” I say honestly. “I guess I don’t have a choice. I have to tell her before Paige does.”

  “For what it's worth,” May says. “I’m sorry.”

  “Me too.” I say sadly. “I should go get ready for our date…”

  “Are you going to tell her before?” She asks.

  “No.” I say quickly. “This may be the first and st real date I get to have with her. I want to make it good.”