25

  Brad

  Civics was easy that day, I thank whatever god I’m supposed to thank for that. Christian was called on for a question, mostly because he hadn’t had his hand up all class to answer a question and Mrs. Mabrey did like to punish kids for the appearance of not paying attention.

  “Christian, we’re talking about Authoritarianism, do you have any opinions?” she said.

  “Yeah, I got an opinion,” Christian said, keeping his eyes down. He was barely paying attention but even with the minimal amount of his big brain engaged in the conversation he knew what to say, “It’s good in the short term,” he said.

  “I’m sorry?”

  “Authoritarianism, wether it was Hitler, or Stalin, Mussolini, or Tojo, all throughout history men come in, they kill all the troublemakers despite what those troublemakers could offer a society willing to listen to them, and they make countries work for a moment. What’s that line Mussolini said? The trains will run on time, well they did, they ran on time for a time. Hitler made Germany more economically prosperous then it had been since losing the great war. He took a country where you would have to buy a loaf of bread with a wheelbarrow of cash to a superpower that threatened all the world, sometimes a forceful hand is needed to right the world one lives in,” he said looking away from the other students.

  “Christian, are you okay, do you need to talk to the councilor? Did something happen at home? You never speak like this,” she said, genuinely concerned. That was always one of Christian’s fatal flaws, he never did believe that people on this side of the lake could be concerned for him.

  “What I’m saying is that it works, for a time, I know it may not tie into our curriculum, but has anyone studied ancient Rome?” he looked around, to blank and judging looks from our classmates, “In ancient Rome, the biggest thing that society feared was one man taking too much power. They had two men serve as Consul, the equivalent of what we would call a president, they had two of them just to make sure that no one person could take over the empire,” he said, “But sometimes, war times, they knew that they needed to cede their freedoms for a time, and they elected, purposefully, a tyrant. They agreed to let a tyrant come in, wipe out all enemies, and all opposition to progress. This was a sacred deal, under the agreement that whenever whatever crisis called for this action was over, the tyrant would hand the power back, we all know how that ends though. Anyone who’s read Julius Caesar in English class knows how it ends, with the would-be tyrant stabbed twenty-three times on the senate floor,” Christian took a deep breath, “Sic Semper Tyrannis,” he said.

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  “Okay, interesting take, we were talking about the over extension of Nixon’s authority in the Watergate scandal, but that is quite a take,” Mrs. Mabrey said, trying to pull the class back to the topic of discussion.

  After class I grabbed him when he was alone in the hallway, “Hey man, you seem on edge,” I said.

  “Just anxious for the weekend,” he said.

  The weekend, his release from this world, when he could go Somewhere Else. When he could go to the only place he could feel at home.

  “You know it’s hard for all of us, right? This, all this,” I said, “Maybe it’s harder for you, but it’s hard for all us,” I looked him in the eye.

  “What could you possibly understand about the bullshit I go through here,” Christian said.

  “Look at me, really look at me,” I took a step back and held my arms down, “I’m black, I’m black in Nebraska, you think no one else feels like an outcast? How many black students are in this school, eleven, twelve, in a body of what, hundreds?” I asked.

  “You’re on the football team, you have a place here,” he said.

  “Yeah, that helps, a bit,” I said, “And you may think it helps me with girls, but it really doesn’t. I can’t tell you how many times some home grown farm spun white girl has been interested in me and I’ve been too afraid to get involved with her. I know you may call pearls before swine when I say that, but it’s complicated. Some of these farm girls, if I wanted to date them, I got to worry about visiting a house with their daddy polishing a shot gun that he just can’t wait to threaten me with,” I said, “First girl I ever asked out, I was fourteen, my mom dropped me off at her house and I went to pick her up so my mom could drive us to the movies, you wouldn’t believe how much hatred a good ol’ boy father could stare daggers at some coon who wants to take his daughter out for a movie. It’s been like that my entire high school life. Sure, are there girls that like me? Yes. But most of those girls that like me, like me because they know their daddy is going to bring their shotgun out of mothballs when they find out who their daughter’s fancy. It hurts man, why do you think I’m such a hound dog with those serving girls Somewhere Else? That place for some reason doesn’t have the racial tensions our world has. I understand, I understand more then you may think I do, how that world can tempt you. Christian, someday soon, very soon, we’ll be out of this. I can move to a more metropolitan city, find some girl with metropolitan parents who don’t see color or whatever those enlightened liberals call being okay with their daughter dating someone like me. And you’re going to be out of here too, I heard you in class, you’re in a bad place and it’s making you take on this whole edge lord persona, that mindset is just going to drive more people on this side of the lake away from you, and that’s the last thing you need,” I said, grabbing both his shoulders, “Don’t be what they think you are, and don’t be what they want you to be,” I took a deep breath, I contemplated for a moment if my problems were the right things to complain about knowing the troubles Christian was having, “If I was what those dads with their shotguns thought I was, if I was just out to get some girl pregnant, I wouldn’t blame them for keeping those shotguns clean and at the ready,” I said, “Don’t justify them for excluding you, don’t prove them right,” I said.