When the server comes back, I’m standing behind the counter of my shop. Players pop into existence outside my door, none of whom step inside. I practically vibrate with nervous energy. I spot my reflection in the cheap buckler on the wall, stepping away from the counter to get a closer look.
Some kind of magic must have shrunk and molded the armor to fit on me, it no longer suits the larger form of the original minotaur owner. It’s heavy plate of dark metals, a huge helmet fully covering my face, an angry mask with fur-lined horns atop my head. Comically large shoulder pads that look like they should be on the minotaur, but they were even bigger on him. The rough, fur-lined cape reaches the floor, the edge frayed behind my boots.
The jewelry I can’t see under the armor, so I’ll have to inspect it later. I strain to remove the shield from my back in this restrictive armor. It’s a big, slightly convex mirror, with a filigree circle around it. It does not seem to be made of glass. It wouldn't work very well as a shield if it was.
The last piece I can get a good look at is the sword. It’s meant to be held in one hand, though the blade is overly long. It’s bright, gleaming silver with a gold, crown-shaped crossguard, a rounded ruby in the pommel. It looks more like a ceremonial piece than a battle-ready blade. I gently swing it around a few times, getting a feel for its weight and balance.
I stare out the door pensively. Still no customers. Is there a closed sign I didn’t know about until now? I step around and out to look. No such sign hangs outside. I turn to look down the road, players going in one direction or another, but none in mine. I take a step, then another. “One more and I’ll be sent back.” I say to myself. I stare hard at the ground in front of me, waiting for it to make the first move. After a few moments, I lift my foot and ever-so-gently place the tip of my boot in the mud.
Nothing. No notice, no alarm bells ringing. Complete silence, besides the hustle and bustle surrounding me. I begin walking, doubling the distance from my shop quickly, I stop and wait. Still nothing. I walk all the way to the inn, where Bert is playing host for a few players returning from their adventures. They all move in the same scripted way, lifting mugs to their mouths and open-mouthed chewing on boar. Bert makes eye contact with me, smiles, and nods. I return the nod, facing away towards the front of the city.
The “front gate”, if you could call it that, is stacked and pointed logs forming a perimeter. They look rotted and ready to fall apart, crawling with termites. I make my way to the gap where players enter and leave heedless of each other. Instead of hitting an invisible barrier, like when I try to touch them, they go straight through each other, like ghosts. It’s unnerving, but if they didn’t, they would be slamming into each other at dangerous running speeds. I can't help but reflexively avoid them running into me, unsure if I have the same incorporeal ability.
The inside of an orc’s skull blocks my vision. I can see the back of his eyeballs and teeth, free floating in front of me. I yelp, my vision clearing instantly. That was horrifying. The orc whose head I just had a private showing of continues unabated through the front gate. That answers that question. I shiver, trying to erase the memory from my mind. I walk out, trying to get clear of the traffic before that happens again.
Clearcut discovered! Experience gained.
The message appears in both my vision and the chat window. It fades from my view and is almost immediately lost in the shuffle of the player’s chat. I found it’s better for my mental health to just ignore them. Once outside the city, the local channel changes, and significantly fewer messages come through. A new bar appears at the bottom of my vision, I suppose it’s my experience bar. It’s only a little full.
Bumblebee says: LFG warhog
Cumplete says: how do i attack?
Foerensick says: press one, idiot.
No improvement in manners. I go back to ignoring them, making my way down a well-trodden path. A few other sparingly armored players whiz by, clearly having somewhere to be. I take my time walking, observing my surroundings. I can immediately tell why they call this place Clearcut. Stumps litter the ground, most on the path having been ground into the mud from constant footsteps. Far into the distance I see a tree line, however between me and it could only be called an ecological disaster. Where did all the trees go? None of the structures I’ve seen so far are made of solid wood.
Masstaoir Lumbermill discovered! Experience gained.
My mind wanders and I don’t notice crossing the threshold into a new location. The sound of saws surround me, along with players idling around. A huge structure casts a shadow over them, presumably the lumbermill. A few simple tents are propped up around it, orcs receiving players inside. One orc, staring blankly into space, has a huge yellow exclamation point over his head. Curious, I walk over, circling him while I keep my eyes on the floating punctuation over him. No matter what angle I look at it, it’s always flat and fully visible. “Huh.”
“Greetings youngling. Boars have been attacking our lumberjacks just outside the mill. Go slay ten of them and return to me.” The orc commands, making me jump. The exclamation point instantly changes into a gray question mark after he finishes speaking.
“Alright.” I look at the orc. He turned to face me while speaking, though he didn’t make eye contact. I carefully step away, watching him warily.
Trouble in Clearcut accepted!
Clearcut boars slain 0/10
“Honorlord’s strength be with you!” he shouts, as his body turns away from me without moving his feet. He rotates, as if on an invisible spinning platform. Non-player characters are deeply uncanny creatures. I don’t know what separates me from him, but I know there’s a spark of life in me that he just doesn’t have. I make my way outside of the lumbermill’s vicinity, spotting a huge boar quickly. The beast wanders between tree stumps, stopping to sniff the ground and grunt every few steps. It walks back and forth on the same path, never deviating.
“The animals are N.P.C.s too.” I state aloud. For a second I worry that the noise may have gotten the boar’s attention, but it doesn’t react. I inch closer, carefully closing the distance. I look right into its eyes from mere feet away, it still does not react. I look around, spotting a player in combat with another boar a little ways away. He trades blows with it until the beast collapses, dead. The player kneels on the ground, one hand placed through the boar. He stands up and quickly moves onto the next boar. He swings first, then the boar retaliates. “Ah.”
I draw my sword, and after the boar walks back in my direction, I swing.
Juvenile Boar slain! Experience gained.
The god-damned thing splits down the middle vertically. I almost throw up, watching its innards spill out from the halves as they fall to the ground. I stare at the Gorey scene without moving.
Betterwetter says: loot please
“Huh?” I say, turning. A cat man stands beside me, staring blankly ahead. His message appears on a nearby channel, meaning he had to be close for me to see it.
Betterwetter. Level 3
Betterwetter says: loot so I can skin it.
“Oh” I say, turning back to the boar. I follow the example of the other player, taking a knee and placing my hand on the ground in the direction of the boar.
You have looted a Boar Tusk.
A window with a picture of a boar tusk popped into my vision and quickly vanished. The boar now has text next to it. “You can’t skin this corpse. Profession: Skinning not learned.” The cat man steps up, making a swiping gesture with a small, curved blade. The boar’s corpse disappears, blood, guts, and all.
The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.
Betterwetter says: thanks.
“No problem” I say to his back as he sprints over to the fresh corpses left by other players. I have to look around to find any living boars. I make my way over to them and kill them in one swing just like the first. I loot them before the cat man has to ask me to, though he’s no longer nearby. Once I’ve slain ten, I make my way back to the lumber mill. The orc who had asked me to kill them now has a yellow question mark over his head. “Job’s done.”
“Excellent. It should be safe for the lumberjacks to get back to work.” he says, nodding.
Trouble in Clearcut complete! Experience gained.
You have reached level 2!
Strength increased by 2%!
Agility increased by 2%!
Intelligence increased by 2%!
A blinding light circles me as these messages appear. The experience bar has reset to little progress, almost completely empty. My strength? Agility? I guess it makes sense in a video game but I didn’t know I’m being measured. “I wonder what my stats look like now.”
Tumbleweed says: press C its on the right hand side
A goblin stops walking to type out that message, continuing on his way after. I don’t bother thanking him, as he’s too far away by now to hear. I think the letter C, much like I had thought “I” at Toebark’s command. A screen pops up with a three dimensional image of me standing in the middle. I’m surrounded by boxes, filled with artist renderings of the armor, weapons and jewelry I have equipped. I look over to the right side where the player said my stats would be.
“Maximum?” I shout, reading the adjective next to my strength. What does that even mean? logically, it would mean I have the most strength possible for a person to have, but again, what does that mean exactly? No wonder I obliterated the boars in one hit. If they’re supposed to be a challenge for players with a measly four percent power, I’m surprised I don’t turn them to ash with a glare. It must be this gear. I look at each piece one after another, reading the text that pops up.
Helm of the Vanquished Hero - Epic helm - Requires level 90 - Maximum Strength - Maximum Armor
Set bonus 2/2: Bleed effects you inflict on enemies last twice as long.
Set bonus 4/4: Last Stand abilities grant an additional ten seconds of invulnerability.
[Bleed - Damage over time to living targets with blood.]
[Last Stand - Fatal damage is negated, you are invulnerable for a very short duration.]
Each piece of armor says roughly the same thing. I don’t think the “set bonus” helps me as I don’t have any effects or abilities, as far as I know. I decide to try every letter alphabetically to find out. The letter A doesn’t do anything, B opens my inventory. I guess because B is for Backpack. C opens my character screen. There are submenus in there I’ll have to explore later. D, E, F, G, and H don’t do anything. I opens my inventory, obviously. J, K, L, M, O, P, Q, R, do nothing. S opens a new box called “Spellbook”. There are quite a few empty boxes, only one has a picture of a generic sword, called “Attack”. I didn’t realize I’d need a spell to do something so basic.
T opens another new box, called “Talents” inside is a text box reading “Talents unlock at level 10.” And nothing else, V, W, X, Y, and Z do nothing. I open my character screen again. I’m level two, that makes sense. What doesn’t make sense is I was able to equip all this level ninety gear. I’ll try not to question it too much, considering the enormous advantage it gives me. I wonder if there’s a way to customize my interface. I try to imagine a keyboard in my head, and think about what keys a video game would use. I think escape, then ESC.
A new menu pops up, making the world around it blurry and obscured. Several buttons appear inside.
( Interface ) ( Graphics ) ( Sound ) ( Help ) ( Log out ) ( Exit Game )
Exit Game? Has it been that simple this entire time? Without hesitation, I mentally click the button
You cannot exit the game at this time.
“Son of a @#$^% $#@^!” I say. Wait, no I didn’t. Huh? I must be censored all of a sudden. That must be an option somewhere. I also try Log Out, and get the same message. I really got my hopes up, damn. Help attempts to connect to an external webpage and fails. Crap. Sound has sliders for ambiance, player voice, and music. I hadn’t noticed any music yet, but I lower the slider to fifty percent. When I lower the ambiance slider, the saw of the mill slowly fades into silence. As does the wind, and the footsteps of passing players. It’s so unnerving I put it back to one hundred percent promptly.
Graphics also has sliders for different objects and distances. Everything is set to maximum, as if I’m using a top shelf computer. I lower the sliders out of curiosity, watching the buildings, plants, people, and even the ground around me turn to polygonal shapes. Now instead of a modern day video game, it looks like an early 2000’s game. I slide them back up, curiosity sated.
Interface is full of submenus for my game UI, Chat, and Groups. I take a look at groups first, the options are for visualization of various game stuff that would be extremely helpful if I were in a group. It does what it says on the box I guess. Chat does indeed have a censor option that is checked. I uncheck it. “Fuck.” I say aloud, clearly and unbidden.
Yoohoo says: fuck you
Chat also allows me to access or block different channels. I decide not to change the default settings yet. I might want to block the general chat eventually, given the attitude of most players.
Robotrock says: I swear to God, if somebody ninja skins my boar again I’m going to fuck their mother.
Optimuscrime says: my mom’s dead
Robotrock says: Did I stutter?
The UI section has a ton of options I explore thoroughly. Now I can see quest progress, and don’t have to keep track mentally. A bar with all one of my “spells” appears at the bottom of my vision. A minimap in the top right corner. A health bar in the top left. Now I can explore this world with everything I need at a glance. Sweet.
The orc who gave me the first boar quest appears to have another for me. “Yo.”
“Youngling, another test of your strength. A boar, larger than the others, prowls the clearing to the north. Slay it and return its tusk as proof of your kill.” The exclamation point once again turns into a gray question mark.
Boar Menace accepted!
Warhog’s Tusk 0/1
“Easy enough” I say, turning to leave
“Die with honor.” The orc says turning away.
“Alrighty then” I walk out to the north. I pass boars and players, busy with the first quest in this chain. After a while, I make it to the clearing the orc spoke of. A few players are gathered around, watching the huge boar in the middle. The creature’s name, Warhog, is red above its head. If green means player or ally, and yellow means it will only fight back if attacked first, red must mean if I get too close, it will attack automatically. I start walking up to the massive beast.
Oogles invites you to a group. [Accept] [Decline]
“Oh, sure thing” I say, accepting the invite. Four new health bars with names above them appear under mine on the left side of my vision.
Oogles. Level 9
Oogles says: don’t pull until we buff up
I stop my approach, waiting for whatever “buff up” means. Two players, and orc and a beastwoman, make gestures and cast spells, causing lights and colors to appear around them and me. I look at little pictures as they appear under my health bar. “Blessing of Fortitude” gives me 10% additional Strength. That’s a pretty big deal, like five whole extra levels worth. And the “buff” lasts an hour? That’s awesome! “Thanks!” I wave at the robed player.
Holysheet. Level 10 Priest
Holysheet says: np
Oogles says: pull
Oogles pulls a bow from his back and fires an arrow at Warhog. It gets the creatures’ attention, but the health bar barely moves. The boar starts running over to the players, clearly angered. As it nears me, I draw my sword and slash.
Warhog slain! Experience gained.
Oogles has reached level 10!
Oogles says: thx
Holysheet says: thx
The players loot the boar and depart, their health bars vanish one after another from my vision. I loot the boar after they all cleared out.
You loot Warhog’s Tusk.
Warhog’s Tusk 1/1
Time to turn it in. I start making my way back to the lumbermill, taking my sweet time. All of the players run full speed everywhere, never seeming to tire out. Maybe I could too. I decide to try running the rest of the way back to town. I make it back in a tenth the time, never tiring, or running out of breath.
“An impressive kill! Your next destination is The Gormer Outpost. There you’ll join the offensive against the Elves. Honorlord’s strength be with you, Youngling.” The quest giver orc rattles off his dialogue as soon as I step in front of him.
Boar Menace completed! Experience gained.
You have reached level 3!
Strength increased by 2%!
Agility increased by 2%!
Intelligence increased by 2%!
Huh. Only two again? I open my character menu. Looking at my strength, it allows me to separate my base strength from what my equipment is giving me. My base strength is eight percent, so if I keep gaining two every level, by level ten I’ll have twenty percent in each stat. It would be interesting to see what a strike with six percent strength looks like, but I dare not unequip my armor. What if I can’t reequip it?
My equipment is giving me “Maximum Strength”, so it reads “8% + Maximum”. Who thought this system was intuitive? Why not make “Maximum” into a percentile and add them together? If my “Help” button was working, it would be among the things I sought assistance with, right after I demanded to be freed.
