I depart the lumbermill, leaving behind the lowest level players completing introductory quests. Following the map, my destination is in the direction of the tree line, in the distance behind fields of stumps. I only run part way there, slowing down to observe my changing surroundings. Stump-filled mud makes way for a dense forested area.

  Gormer Forest discovered! Experience gained.

  The clear boundary between areas discovered, I stop walking. Beside the walking path, the treeline is so thick I can’t see through it. I get the impression that I’m not welcome here, although there are no signs saying “Keep out!”, the trees seem unhappy with my presence… somehow. It’s not like they’re alive right? I decide to continue on, ignoring the looming presence of the tall pines. They creak as I pass by, as though they were trying to fall on me purposefully.

  I break out into a sprint, developing a sudden phobia of lumber. It doesn’t take very long to find my way to the outpost. The place is surrounded by tall wooden walls embedded with arrows. Clearly, it’s been under attack for a while.

  Gormer Outpost discovered! Experience gained.

  “Get down!” A minotaur yells as I walk through the front entrance. A volley of arrows strikes the ground around me, with no clear source. I look around trying to spot who’d shot at me. “They’re hidden in the trees!”

  “No they’re not.” I mutter, staring through the branches and receiving no further attacks. That was some kind of scripted event. The trees themselves certainly didn’t shoot at me, although they would, given the chance.

  “Finally, reinforcements. We’ve been pinned down for days! Get out there and put ten elves out of our misery. That ought to give us some breathing room!” The minotaur word vomits all over me.

  Pinned Down in Gormer accepted!

  Gormer Wood Elves slain 0/10

  Easy enough. I march right back out of the outpost, wandering around the perimeter. I’m suddenly struck in the back with an arrow. It loudly ricochets off of my armor, dropping harmlessly to the ground.

  “Die invader!” a lithe, barely clothed elf screams as she notches another arrow. Her pale skin is partially painted over with green and brown camouflage. She fires again, missing entirely. This is kind of embarrassing for her. Without urgency, I walk up to her and lazily swing my sword. She is split at an angle, falling to the ground in two uneven pieces.

  Gormer Wood Elf slain! Experience gained.

  The halves steam, spilling a growing lake of blood onto the forest floor. I gag, almost throwing up, unsure if I even could at this point. It was bad enough seeing the boars blood and guts, but this is a person. Even with the pointy ears and hostile disposition, I just killed a person. I can’t stop myself from watching the light drain from her eyes. After a few deep breaths, ignoring the coppery scent, I force myself to remember it’s a video game. Realistic, but not real.

  You loot Basic Bow.

  Basic Bow - Minimum Pierce damage

  The text next to her corpse does not inform me that I’m unable to skin her after looting. At least the desecration stops there. I open my inventory and equip my new bow. A quiver filled with arrows appears on my back. Neat. I notch an arrow, aim at the nearest tree, and fire.

  Gormer Wood Elf slain! Experience gained.

  The arrow flies through the first tree, an elf, and imbeds itself in the tree behind him. Holy shit. I walk around to his corpse, much less ruined than the other elf, though just as scantily clothed. The arrow passed through him with surgical precision, leaving a small wound barely bleeding in his torso.

  “Get out!” an elf screams at me, charging with a delicate looking short sword. The blade clangs against my shoulder armor uselessly. I aim at his face from point blank range.

  Gormer Wood Elf slain! Experience gained.

  Gormer Wood Elf slain! Experience gained.

  The arrow punches through his eye, whistling through the air and sending a second elf in the distance tumbling to the ground. This quest is proving no more challenging than the boars, though it is far more uncomfortable for me to kill humanoids. I wrap it up quickly, sending arrows flying through the woods in every direction.

  “They’ve called in reinforcements!” The minotaur tells me as I return to the outpost. “A treant has begun its assault from the south!” To emphasize his point, a boulder bigger than either of us crashes to the ground at our feet.

  Pinned down in Gormer complete! Experience gained

  Treant Trouble accepted!

  Gormer Treant slain 0/1

  Finally, I can make the trees fear me instead of the other way around. I mosey on over to where the treant is standing in the woods, a clearing reminiscent of the big boar. The troubling treant is a humanoid giant, made entirely of wood and foliage, like an ambulatory tree. It dawns on me that I just completed a quest to slay ten things followed by another to slay one big thing. Not very creative quest design it seems. Players mill about, waiting for more to arrive.

  “Hey there!” One of the players says, audibly.

  “Hey.” I say. He’s the satyr from earlier, I realize.

  Peter invites you to a group. [Accept] [Decline]

  “You need to kill treebeard right?” He thumbs over his shoulder at the four story tall monster.

  “Yep.” I respond. This guy puts me on edge, I’m not sure why.

  “Cool! Looks like we have enough here to kill him, even though you’re only level three. I’m surprised you made it here without getting slaughtered by elves. They’re tough cookies.” I nod, looking at his level. Thirteen. The other players in the group are also in their teens already. I guess my equipment has made this journey so much easier for me I didn’t have to bother leveling up. The group buffs each other and gets into fighting stances.

  I loose an arrow, it flies too fast to follow, seeming to teleport. The shaft vibrates noisily from the tree-thing’s forehead. “Euurgh” it says, swaying from side to side, before it collapses, making the ground shake.

  Gormer Treat Slain! Experience gained.

  You’ve reached level 4!

  Strength increased by 2%!

  Agility increased by 2%!

  This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

  Intelligence increased by 2%!

  “Wow!” Peter yells, lowering his daggers. The party silently loots the tree and leaves, except for him. He walks back to where I’m standing. “Hey, where’d you get that armor? No wonder you one shot him. Your stats are crazy high!”

  “Uh,” I start, not knowing what to say. A player sold me, a non-player character vendor, all his stuff, and disappeared. Then, I put it on, and started stomping around a low level area, smiting boars like an angry god. That seems like the kind of thing that I’d get in trouble for. “it was… a gift?” I say, uncertainly.

  “Wow you must have really cool friends. They carried you through a dungeon and let you have all the good stuff.” He looks me up and down, admiring my gear. “Mind if I add you?”

  “Add me?” I ask, wishing he’d stop looking at me like a blue-ribbon winning cow.

  “As a friend.” He says, sheepishly.

  “Go for it.” I say, thinking that’s a really weird way to ask to be friends.

  Peter has added you as a friend.

  Oh, It’s a game feature. That makes more sense. I concentrate on the letter F, my suspicion confirmed when a new window pops up, Peter at the very top. I mentally type in Bert’s actual name, Perthag, and send a request.

  Player not found.

  A player only feature? Then how did Peter add me?

  “Let’s go turn in this quest, then we’ll grind you up a bit. The game really opens up at level ten.” Peter tells me, waiting for me to get moving.

  “Grind?” I say, unmoving.

  “It means level you up. We’ll kill elves and stuff.” He takes a step towards the outpost.

  “Oh ok” I say, walking. I re-equip my sword a shield, not wanting my inexpreince with a bow to slow down "grinding"

  “You don’t have to if you don’t want to” He says, keeping pace next to me.

  “I’m just new and not used to people sticking around after killing the big monster.” I tell him, honestly.

  “Oh, I know right? Nobody ever sticks together unless they have to. It’s an M.M.O.R.P.G., for goodness’s sakes, right?” He emphasizes the second M, which stands for multiplayer.

  “Why not?” I ask, watching our surroundings for an elf ambush. I shoot one before it notices us.

  “I guess the game’s easy enough that most people can get through a lot of it on their own. And players that don’t use voice chat are mostly ignored by those that do.” He steps off the path to loot the elf.

  “How do they get voice chat?” I ask, watching him motion towards the ground, his gesture different from other players.

  “The same way you got it, right?” he answers. Crap.

  “My friends got me set up, I didn’t really pay attention” I make up on the spot.

  “Oh ok. Well it’s part of the options on the log in page. You can’t change anything connected to your rig while actually playing the game. Some technical limitations.” He says, continuing towards the outpost. I nod, opening the ESC menu. To my surprise, the logout button is highlighted now. I press it.

  Logout in 15 seconds.

  The option to cancel the logout remains in the middle of my vision as the countdown ticks away.

  “Hey…” Peter starts once he notices I’ve fallen behind. He doesn’t finish his sentence before the world goes black.

  My vision suddenly lights back up, as though I just had my eyes shut for a moment. I’m looking at myself from the front in the third person, standing in a background that looks like Clearcut. “Earl” hovers over my head. “Log in” is at my feet. On the right side, a list with only my name and level appears at the top. “Create new character” is grayed out. “Exit game” is grayed out in the bottom left. “Crossroads Online No Gods Version 4.9.0” is in the top left. I press the options button, reading over the list. A box next to “full immersion” is unchecked. I check it, receiving a long disclaimer to read.

  “Full immersion mode is only available to players with an immersion system installed. Knuckleheads Inc. Claims no responsibility for adverse effects due to immersion system hardware.” Blah blah blah. I don’t bother reading all of it. Who does? I accept the user agreement and log back in. As soon as I’m back in my body, I double over on my knees.

  The ground is so detailed I can make out every grain of dirt. I can feel the moss squishing between my fingers. My armor feels tight and heavy on my body. The air is moist and smells of pine. It’s like I’m really here.

  “Dude, are you alright?” Peter runs to me and puts an arm under my shoulder. I can feel his fingers dig into my skin as he struggles to help me.

  Yes, do get up. It is unbecoming of my wielder to sully his armor in mud.

  “What?” I say, looking around. I could feel Peter's hot breath on me as he spoke, but that second voice came from inside of my head.

  “I asked if you’re alright” Peter repeats himself as I get to my feet with his assistance, as little as it is.

  Do rid yourself of this ruffian. He is unworthy of our assistance.

  “Who are you?” I continue looking around, searching for the source of the telepathic speech.

  “Did you hit your head?” Peter takes a step back, watching to make sure I stay upright.

  “Not you, give me a second.” I wait for the other voice to answer me.

  Esquire at your service, sir. I am pleased to serve a loyal knight of the king such as yourself. Certainly no one other than the most exalted of warriors could hope to wield me in battle.

  Esquire? Isn’t that the sword? I say in my head, hoping not to confuse Peter further.

  Indeed sir I am but a humble blade at your hip, though I dare say I am worthy of knighthood myself! Were I to have a body of flesh and bone, I would undoubtedly be the king’s personal guard!

  I open my character page and stare at the picture of the sword.

  Esquire, Blade of the King. - Legendary One-handed Sword. - Unique Equip - Requires level 90 - Maximum Strength - Maximum Slash Damage - Maximum Pierce Damage

  Sentient: This weapon has a consciousness. It can operate and think independently.

  Floating: This weapon has the ability to hover close to the ground.

  “Hoion blessed the bloodline of King Arthore the First, bestowing his power upon the heirloom blade of the monarchy. Is it said that should this blade fall into the hands of the kingdom’s enemies; the end times will follow.”

  At your service, sir.

  “I turned on immersion” I tell Peter, finally regarding him. I can see every whisker on his face, the bumps and ridges of his little ram horns, the thick brown curls on his head, each hair individually.

  “Oh, I thought since… well, the way you act, it seemed like you already had it on. Alright. Yeah, it’s rough the first time. I just started using it a few weeks ago myself.” He says, walking back through the front of the outpost. “The starting cutscene, flying over clearcut?” He makes a gagging sound.

  “Have you heard of my sword before?” I ask, following behind him.

  “What’s it called?” He turns back to me. I can tell he’s opening some menu by the look in his eyes. “Esquire!” he yells, gesturing with his hands. “The legendary sword you can only get from the end game dungeon!” He stands by my side to get a better look at the blade. “Can I hold it?”

  “Uh, sure” I unsheathe it and place it in his open hands.

  Unhand me you cur!

  Esquire rattles and falls out of his hands. It then floats off of the ground and slides back into the sheath on my hip.

  “Wow. I’ve never held a magic sword.” Peter stares at his hands like he’s never going to wash them again. “That’s so cool.”

  “The description said it could float.” I remark, looking down at the ruby pommel.

  Indeed sir, I am a blade like no other. Wholly unique in this world of bloodshed and strife. I strike at the heart of your enemy at your command, held in your mighty hand on or by your side!

  “Yeah, they do that. Everybody who has it can let it float on its own for a little bit in combat. It’s crazy useful when you need a free hand to chug a potion or something.” Peter looks at the blade, still transfixed by it.

  “There’s more than one?” I ask, ignoring the sounds of protest in my head from Esquire.

  “Sure, you didn’t think you had the only one?” he laughs, not cruelly. “The dungeon has been out for a while so all of the top guilds have at least one person with it, if not more.”

  “Got it. Well, let’s turn in this quest and get to grinding.” I face the minotaur who’d given me the quest, awaiting his long-winded congratulations.

  “Well done. That sure showed those tree-lovers who’s boss.” He says. I'm genuinely shocked he didn't have at least a paragraph prepared.

  Treant Trouble completed! Experience gained.

  Level 5 reached!

  Strength increased by 2%!

  Agility increased by 2%!

  Intelligence increased by 2%!

  Peter has reached level 14!

  “One down, five to go” Peter smiles.