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35 - How to Move Forward

  Uriel knew he had messed up. He had never seen his partner look at him like that before… like he had just destroyed Dazien’s entire world.

  He had panicked when he felt his lips begin to slice at Dazien’s own and hadn’t meant to push him that hard. He hadn’t known what to say to explain why he had, and Dazien’s question had only one truth for him to give.

  Dazien couldn’t touch him anymore. Not without getting hurt, and that was the opposite of what Uriel wanted to do to his partner.

  He meant to explain more, but he wasn’t quick enough to stop Dazien from retreating to the refuge of his [Armory] where he knew from past experience his King would go when he needed to be alone. Like he had in the past, Uriel sat down in front of the golden door frame and waited for his king to return.

  “What is he doing in there?” Rayna asked as Saiya surprised him by sitting on the opposite side of the door from him to hug her knees to her chest and lean her head against it.

  “He’s trying to regain his composure,” Uriel bluntly answered.

  “Ah,” the bard replied, and Uriel was surprised again when she asked him quietly, “Because kings don’t cry?”

  He hadn’t known that Rayna knew about that particular belief his partner held on to.

  “Everyone cries,” Saiya said softly, reaching a furred hand up to the glowing portal of light that refused to grant her passage.

  “Especially when their lover pushes them away,” Rayna said, sending a disapproving look down at him, “That was a real crappy reaction there.”

  “I panicked,” was all he could say in his defense, “I’ll apologize once he comes out.”

  “I’m not sure that’s gonna help much,” she replied, rubbing the back of her neck as she looked around the room as more of the Royal Guards arrived and finished wrangling the cultists.

  As Phoenix joined them still transfigured as her dragon-form, she glared at the golden door and said in annoyance, “I’m not gonna let him suffer alone anymore,” then she walked through the portal.

  Uriel, Saiya, and Rayna stared at the door in shock, replaying the impossibility of what just happened in their minds.

  “Did she just walk in there?” Rayna incredulously asked, “I’m not hallucinating that, right?”

  He stood and put his own hand against the portal, wondering if something may have changed when Daze became Sapphire and he just hadn’t realized it. It felt solid under his touch. A wall of light that only let the Caster who owned it through.

  He glanced at the twins and asked, “Did she get some kind of weird Talent that lets her just ignore the rules of other dimensional spaces?”

  They both shook their heads in response and he turned back to the portal separating him from the people who mattered the most to him.

  He could only hope that Phoenix would be able to explain things in his stead and offer the comfort he felt completely incapable of offering now. She could reassure Daze that he wasn’t going to abandon him. If she couldn’t, then he needed to gather his own courage and resolve to explain how he would continue to love him even if his soul was driving them apart.

  Hopefully, Phoenix could help them figure out how to move forward again through this newest challenge.

  Phoenix had never tried going into Dazien’s [Armory] before. The others had always talked about how you couldn’t enter the personal dimensional space of another unless the power specifically stated so or it was a Construct like Uriel’s [Fortress of Servitude]. So, she had just assumed she couldn’t go in.

  Seeing that look on Dazien’s face… She couldn’t let her brother isolate himself like she had tried in the past. She was certain if he understood Uriel’s panic then he would forgive his partner and realize it was all just a stupid misunderstanding.

  She staggered a moment as her [Avatar of Bakunawa] effects ended and reverted back to her normal self. The recoil effects made her weaker than normal, but she was still able to reconjure her sandals back on her feet and make her way slowly through the space. She also swapped out her Shifting Twilight armor she had worn to fight in with the dress she had chosen earlier that morning.

  Inside the [Armory] was not at all what she had expected. Half of her pictured just a pile of random treasure stacked in the center of a small square room. The other half had expected rows of shelving like a warehouse of boxed-up equipment. What she found was more like a cozy home mixed with a museum.

  There was some equipment on display racks and notes written on paper at their base. An old patched up couch that she remembered from their apartment before they had moved was against a wall to her right and had stacks of books around it and on shelving above it. The opposite wall had large shelves filled with chests of various sizes and styles, as if Dazien had collected any decently intact container he found from thrift stores or back alleys.

  In the very center of the large room was [Excalibur], blade down and stuck in a large stone. She smiled in amusement and couldn’t help but wonder if it had always been that way or if it had changed from her telling Dazien about the legend, similarly to how the name of it had. She walked up to it and read the little note that had been stuck to the base of it.

  Dazien’s handwriting was much prettier than hers. He had studied to be a noble during his extra years at the Mentor’s school, while she normally typed or used speech-to-text software. Her muscular issues had always made writing by hand difficult for her, and she hadn’t really taken the time since arriving in this world to improve those particular skills.

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  Excalibur was once a sword stuck in a stone that could only be removed by the prophesied true king, according to Phoenix. If this was true, then your dream definitely isn’t silly. Don’t get complacent, though. A sword won’t build a kingdom on its own.

  Phoenix chuckled at the note Dazien had obviously written to himself in the place he thought only he could enter. She suddenly wondered if it was rude for her to be here, especially where she could read thoughts like this and see into such a private space… but wasn’t that what little sisters were for?

  She walked over to the display of Dazien’s Chestplate of the Rising Hero to read that note next.

  Paul had planned to wear this someday and ended up not needing it, but it was something he thought worth wearing and could protect you. Even if he can’t see you in it yet, try to make him proud by protecting the others with it.

  Phoenix smiled warmly at the note, then became distracted by the sound of crying further back in the room. As she passed pedestals that appeared more like memorials of past destroyed shields and armor pieces, she finally found Dazien curled up in a corner atop an old bed. She was fairly certain it was also the one he had previously shared with Uriel in their tiny apartment.

  He was wrapped in a large patchwork quilt that didn’t quite cover all of him anymore, and he had his face buried in his arms with his knees pressed against his chest. The cries were being muffled by the blanket, but the sounds and trembling of his body made it obvious that he was sobbing in his grief.

  Her book popped up in her vision to announce the completion of a quest she quickly scanned.

  Deciding to check the loot later, she shooed the book away and carefully sat on the edge of the bed. The movement from her added weight caused Dazien to glance up at her, only to wildly jump in shock and exclaim, “What in the Abyss?! Phoenix?!”

  “Hello,” she shyly replied with a little wave. “Sorry for the jump-scare.”

  “What are you doing in here? How are you in here?” He glanced down at his palms and said, almost in resignation of the fact, “I’ve actually gone mad, haven’t I?”

  “You’re not crazy,” she chided, “I’m not sure your glowy portal is really as secure as you think. I just walked in.”

  His eyes narrowed at her. “That’s not how my ability works.”

  “Maybe it’s because I knew you shouldn’t be alone right now?”

  “I’m fairly certain that’s not how magic in general works.”

  “Well, it doesn’t really matter right now,” she replied, waving a dismissive hand in the air.

  “I think it definitely matters—”

  “No, what matters is that you ran away before Uriel could explain why he thinks none of us can touch him anymore.”

  Dazien’s face looked pained again. “He chose to wear white, Phoenix.” His gaze flicked down to her own neck, and he added, “Just like you, but I expected that and was going to recommend it. He—” Dazien glanced down at his lap again before explaining. “By not wearing gold, that means he doesn’t recognize our relationship at all. By wearing white, it doesn’t just mean I can’t touch him; it means he doesn’t want to be with me anymore.”

  “No, it means their system isn’t as nuanced as he needs it to be, and the white is a safety precaution because of how his Passive cultivated,” Phoenix corrected. “I told you both before: You’re not allowed to break up.”

  Dazien looked up at her, but the humor she had been hoping for was absent as he flatly stated, “That’s not something you get to decide for us. It was funny before, but right now, I’m not exactly trying to recover from a stupid mistake I made. I—” His voice caught, and it looked like he had to force himself to admit, “All that’s been keeping me sane for the last month was the thought of escaping and getting back to him. Of finding all of you again. The hug you gave me was exactly what I needed from him, but he—”

  “Was afraid of hurting you, Daze,” she interjected. “I said, his Passive cultivated. His [Apotheosis of Annihilation] got worse. Those new clothes he was wearing? Those are specially made to absorb the Void damage his skin inflicts now. It literally hurts us to touch him.”

  Dazien stared at her for a long moment, not even breathing, before slowly touching his fingers to his lips. “That was what stung me before?”

  She nodded. “I tried holding his hand… it didn’t go well.”

  His face scrunched up again, and he asked with a twinge of anger she could empathize with, “What kind of sick Fate keeps cursing him like that?”

  “I don’t know, but I kinda wish I could stab them… just a little bit,” she added, and he gave her bloodthirstiness a raised brow.

  He shook his head, but she noticed the slight smile she had managed to elicit. After a moment of silence as Dazien collected his thoughts more, he asked, “So he’s wearing white simply to keep people from touching him and accidentally getting hurt?”

  “Yeah,” she confirmed, “and I thought it would just be easier for me since I’m not looking for a relationship at all, but Kelana got angry and confused when she saw me holding Uriel’s hand on our way out. I have to be more careful in public to not even do friendly touching like that, it seems.”

  Dazien nodded, rubbing at his eyes as his emotions seemed to calm down more.

  “Are you ready to go back out and see everyone now?” she eventually asked, “They’re all worried about you. I think Uriel feels bad about how he panicked.”

  “I probably reacted badly too by retreating in here… I just… I couldn’t stop it.”

  “Stop what?”

  He weakly gestured to his face without actually saying that he had been crying. She nodded but decided not to try and tell him he was wrong for thinking crying was bad and instead said, “I can understand wanting to be alone when you feel weak and vulnerable.” She leaned over slightly to take his hand, “But speaking from experience, even if you can’t talk through the sadness, it’s always better to not be alone.”

  Dazien glanced up at her and blushed as he admitted, “I normally go to be with Uriel for that kind of comfort… I really only come in here when I feel like I can’t go to him.”

  “Well, now, when you do, I’ll make sure to come in here to get you,” she stated matter-of-factly, then softly added, “If that’s okay with you, that is. I know it’s my job now to be the annoying little sister, but I don’t actually want to make you more upset. I’m just worried about you and have missed you so much. We should be out there celebrating that we’re all alive and together again, right? You and I… we can both figure out how to help Uriel, right? There’s always a solution; we just need to find it.”

  Dazien slowly nodded and smiled softly at her. “Thanks, Phoenix. I really needed to hear that… I’m glad you decided to break the rules of magic and come in here.”

  She chuckled. “It’s not that big a deal. I did like your little pep-talk notes, though.”

  He loudly groaned and buried his face back into his arms. “You read those?!”

  “Some. Can I go read the rest now?”

  “Don’t make me toss you out.”

  “I can just come back in here again,” she pointed out with a victorious grin. “I’m the rule-breaking Wayfarer, after all, remember?”

  “Thank the gods for that.”

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