I was doing my morning stretches and staring at myself in the mirror, in my underwear. My emaciated frame staring back at me, I wished I could eat more, could gain a bit of weight, a bit of muscle. Maybe then Vyke would leave me alone. Half-Orcs like her only ever understood strength, if I was just a bit stronger I could stand up for myself better.

  But no, all I had to work with was this frail figure, staring back at me with red eyes, sharp teeth and hair to hide it all behind. I put on my hoodie and left for css.

  I stopped by the campus café for my morning caffeine fix and protein bar. I noticed a couple sat at one of the tables; making kissy faces at one another and holding hands. I couldn`t remember the st time somebody had touched me, not even a hand shake.

  A memory cut through my mind: naked bodies pressed together, snuggled close for warmth in the dark. Limbs entwined in a loving embrace, protective and caring.

  I shook the images from my mind, I didn`t need them, I didn`t need anyone. My own company was all I needed, that and my studies. I didn`t need things like companionship and comradery. My purpose was as clear as day and it filled me with the strength to keep going.

  I attended my morning csses, drank my coffee slowly and took notes. This was what I needed, to distract myself with my passion. All I needed was to become a healer, to stay true to myself and show the world that us ghouls could achieve so much more than they thought.

  When my morning csses were done I decided to eat my lunch somewhere a little more secluded. I really wasn`t in the mood to run in to Vyke and her friends. I mean I was never in the mood for her shit but today especially, I knew if pushed I would do something I would regret.

  I found a dark corner to eat my lunch in peace, when I was done I got ready to find a trash can when I heard a familiar voice. It was Vyke, it was coming from around the corner.

  My curiosity got the better of me and I poked my head out to see what was going on. Sure enough, as I had heard her, there she was, standing with a tall slim human girl, one of the art majors by the looks of her. Vyke had this cocky look of surety on her face, like she knew exactly what she was doing. But if the look on the humans face was any indicator, she was incredibly uncomfortable.

  Vyke then lifted the girls chin and tried to kiss her. The girl yelled and pushed back. Vyke looked at her confused and if I was not mistaken, a little hurt. The girl scolded and screamed at Vyke.

  “What makes you think I would be interested in a girl like you!”, I heard her shout.

  She stormed off, leaving Vyke with a confused and hurt expression on her face. Her shoulders sagged then tensed and she punched the wall, calling herself an idiot.

  I decided to make myself scarce and took shameful pleasure in knowing she was capable of pain. Just like me.

  I attended my midday csses and was ready to go back to my dorm for a long night of studying. There was an important anatomy test coming up that I could not afford to fail. I made a point of stopping by the café for another coffee.

  On my way out however I was annoyed to see Vyke and her friends. They spotted me and Vyke lead the charge, clearly eager to work out her hurt feelings on me.

  “Coffee coffee coffee.”, she repeated at me. “I wasn`t aware your kind could drink such a thing. I thought you only ate dead stuff. I bet coffee must really give you the shits huh?”.

  Vyke and her friends ughed at her stupid joke. I personally was annoyed at her ck of common knowledge. Everyone knew ghouls could drink coffee, it was the one thing most people got right about us.

  I took a deep breath and tried to push down my feelings of anger, tried to ignore her like I always did. I made to move passed her but she stepped to the side and blocked my way.

  “I`m sorry, do you have somewhere to be? Maybe someone to meet up with. Well that can`t be right. Only people I can see you hanging out with are other ghouls and we all know you’re the only one here. Even then though, I bet your fellow ilk don`t take kindly to you acting all better than them. Big university student and all.”, Vyke teased him, unknowingly hitting the nail on the head.

  It was true, my family had disowned me for going off to university. For rising above my station as they had seen it. Many ghouls, after the awakening, had adopted a martyrdom system of living their lives. Giving themselves wholly to the state or the church in order to make up for past crimes. Manuel bour and less desirable jobs were our calling it was said. To make up for our past by doing the things no one else wanted to do.

  Even I accepted this to a degree, I too believed we had to make up for our past. But I was determined to do it in another way, a less demeaning way. This got me read as being selfish, as being stuck up and self-centred. In the end they turned their back on me and I did the same.

  “You would know a lot about rejection, wouldn`t you Vyke.”, I commented coldly. Sick and tired of her attitude.

  Her ughing stopped and she looked at me with a twinge of pain then anger. I took my chance when I saw I had caught her off guard and slunk passed her, moving quickly so she couldn`t catch me.

  I knew she wouldn`t chase me, she was proud like that. A proper predator that waited for her prey to come to her. I walked away, quickly, a bitter smile on my face. I would have been proud of myself, for hurting her, if what she said hadn`t been so true.

  [---]

  It was te, the moon hung in the sky and the rest of campus was asleep. All except for me, I had taken advantage of my coffee`s boost and studied way passed my usual time. I was slowly starting to fall asleep but I was almost done, just a little more and I was confident I would ace my test.

  I leaned back in my chair and stretched out as far as I could then took a deep breath. Before I could get back to it there was a loud bang at my door. Curious, who could possibly be up this te and why were they coming to see me? It must have been another student back te, drunk and confused.

  I got up, in my sleep shorts and baggy hoodie, walked over to the door and opened it. Stood before me was none other than Vyke herself, piss drunk by not just the look of her but the smell as well.

  I panicked and tried to sm the door in her face but she was fast, despite her inebriation. She forced her way into my room and smmed the door behind her. I was trapped, prey in my own home.

  “You think you`re so smart.”, she slurred at me. “Talking back to me like you do, seeing things you shouldn`t.”

  I took a slow step back, struggling to come up with a good escape pn. The window was sealed and the door a no go. Was I going to have to fight her? Throw down and give her my best shot? She was drunk, that was to my advantage, but she was also strong, very strong.

  Not a lot of people knew this but most ghouls were pacifists. We swore off violence so that people would stop being afraid of us, stop seeing us as feral monsters. It didn`t work, our history was too ingrained in people`s minds, still we persisted.

  “You think it`s easy? Being me? Rejected by every woman I y my eyes on. Do you know how hard it was for me to come out? To admit I prefer woman over men? Of course you don`t, you`re just a scummy little corpse eater.”, Vyke drunkenly rambled at me.

  She was angry, clearly, but also hurt. I could hear the pain in her tone and while it should have filled me with joy, I couldn`t help but feel a pang of sympathy. We weren`t so different in the end, both rejects, both unloved. Only difference was I didn`t take my pain and make it other people’s problem. I suffered in silence, worked to better myself.

  “Go on, fucking say something.”, she blurted out, growing irritated by my silence.

  “What can I say? We all experience the pain of loneliness, that doesn`t make you special.”, I told her, quickly growing tired of her self-pity.

  “Special? How fucking dare you! You don`t know me! You don`t know what I`ve been through!”, she screamed at me, lunging forward.

  I tried to step aside and slide passed her but she was too fast. She grabbed me and tried to lift me off the ground. Instinct took over and I found my legs wrapped around her torso and my hands cwing at her face. She stumbled over her own feet and fell over, the two of us nding on my bed.

  The impact grabbed me, forced me to re-evaluate where I was. I was on my back, looking up, legs limp. Vyke was on top of me, head wrested in the crook of my neck, crying.

  I just y there, caught in this weird state of whipsh. I had gone from fighting Vyke to having her cry on my shoulder in a matter of seconds. My heart was beating fast and my cheeks were flush with anger. Anger at her, for her absurdity, her ignorance and cruelty. I was angry at everything she had ever done to make my life miserable.

  But then I heard her sobbing, felt her tears on my skin and couldn`t help but feel sorry for her. She might have been a bad person but nobody deserved to suffer the pains of loneliness. I buried my anger, just for a moment, I could dig it up ter, once this night was behind me.

  I slowly and carefully wrapped my arms around her muscur frame and whispered softly to her.

  “It`s okay. It`s going to be okay.”, I told her, not sure if I believed it but what else was there to say.

  We stayed like that for a while, her crying, me comforting her. A few quick sniffs and she lifted herself away from my shoulder and held herself above me, her knee awkwardly between my legs. She looked at me through teary eyes and lifted a hand to gently move my hair about my face.

  It was only now, that I realised what a compromising potion we were in. My gaze moved down and I could see inside her shirt, hear breasts barely contained inside a bra of tape and cloth. I felt the blood rush to my cheeks and my brain swirled at the absurdity of this evening.

  Then I looked back at Vyke and she was looking at me, her pained expression had dissolved into something a little more gentle.

  “You know, having you like this, your hair in your face, you almost look, kind of like a girl.”, she muttered to me.

  Before I could process what she had said her lips were pressed against mine. Pressed firm with her tongue poking for access to my mouth. I gave in to her probing and our tongues intertwined, exploring one another curiously.

  This was insane, this entire situation was utter madness. But as much as I was aware of it, as much as I hated that it was Vyke`s lips and tongue I couldn`t help but indulge in the sensation.

  It pains me to say it but I had never kissed anyone before. Never felt another’s lips on mine, never felt the warmth of ones tongue or the intimacy of their insides. It felt good.