Theo sat in his hotel room, staring at the glowing spreadsheet of Jamal’s many financial obligations. He pinched the bridge of his nose.

  “Okay,” he muttered to himself. “Three kids. Two exes. One very aggressive child support claim. And, of course, the grand tradition of interest penalties because the government loves to kick a man when he’s down.”

  He exhaled and grabbed his phone, dialing Soi.

  Soi picked up on the second ring. “Theo, if this is another ‘Maluck bought something ridiculous’ call, I swear—”

  “No, no,” Theo interrupted. “This time, it’s technically a responsible financial decision.”

  There was silence on the line.

  “…Define ‘technically,’” Soi said suspiciously.

  Theo sighed. “Jamal’s finances are a mess. We need to clean them up, but Maluck also doesn’t want Lucky Star Ventures just bleeding money with no return. So… how do we structure this in a way that keeps us from setting a pile of cash on fire?”

  Soi exhaled sharply. “Alright. Give me the breakdown.”

  Theo scrolled through the spreadsheet. “Alright. Jamal’s got one ex who’s normal—gets her payments on time, doesn’t cause problems. She’s fine. Then there’s Ex #2.”

  Soi made a noise that sounded like he was already bracing himself.

  “She delays processing his payments so she can tack on late fees and interest.”

  There was a pause.

  “She what?” Soi asked flatly.

  “She delays processing his payments. On purpose. Every time he pays on the due date, she ‘forgets’ to submit it until a few days later and then charges him extra.”

  “That’s—” Soi took a slow, deep breath. “That’s some actual superbitch behavior.”

  “Oh, it gets worse.” Theo clicked another tab. “She also has a lawyer who specializes in… let’s call it ‘creative enforcement.’ She has him serve notices at random locations Jamal has never been to, so when he doesn’t show up to contest them, the court automatically rules in her favor.”

  Soi groaned. “Of course she does.”

  Stolen story; please report.

  Theo leaned back in his chair. “So. How do we fix this?”

  “Easy,” Soi said. “We counter-sue for bad faith enforcement and malicious financial exploitation. The courts love nailing people who abuse the system. Then we put all future payments in a court-managed escrow, so she can’t touch them until the court releases them. No more ‘accidental delays.’”

  Theo whistled. “Damn. That’s evil. I like it.”

  Soi snorted. “It’s not evil, it’s responsible. Now, about the actual payments—are we settling everything, or are we restructuring it?”

  “Maluck’s exact words were ‘don’t just throw money at the problem,’ so… restructuring.”

  “Got it,” Soi said. “We’ll handle it in two parts. First, we negotiate down his back payments with a lump-sum settlement. His ex will take it because she doesn’t want the court looking into her finances too hard. Second, we roll his remaining payments into a trust fund managed by us.”

  Theo raised an eyebrow. “A trust fund? For child support?”

  Soi chuckled. “Think about it. If Lucky Star Ventures manages the account, we control the payments. No interest, no late fees, no surprise lawsuits. Plus, if Jamal ever starts making real money, the trust fund can cover the extra support without him drowning in debt.”

  Theo stared at his laptop screen for a second, then nodded slowly. “You know… I was expecting a lot of sketchy accounting talk. This is actually… responsible.”

  Soi sighed. “Yes, Theo. Sometimes we do normal, good things.”

  ***

  “So these bad faith countersuits—how exactly are we handling that?” Theo asked, rubbing his temples.

  Soi leaned back in his chair. “Isn’t Mike going to be getting his quote-unquote real law degree soon?”

  Theo smacked his forehead. “Oh, for fuck’s sake. Of course. We literally have a top-tier legal mind just sitting around waiting to be unleashed.”

  Soi smirked. “Yep. And now we will unleash him upon the world,”

  Theo grinned. “Soi, did you just make a joke?l

  Soi shrugged. “Hehe. Maybe. I just mean we’re making good use of our very expensive investment. Anyway, we have Jamal’s lawsuit situation figured out, but we also don’t want to screw over the kids.”

  “Yeah, no, definitely not.” Theo nodded. “But their mom? The one nickel-and-diming him to financial ruin? She can absolutely go fuck herself.”

  “Agreed, one hundred percent,” Soi said.

  Theo sighed. “The kids deserve financial stability, but their mother deserves to be as far from that money as possible.”

  Soi nodded. “And honestly? From what I’ve seen, Jamal’s a solid guy. He just needed a break. No way in hell he’d want his kids to suffer just because their mom’s a financial parasite.”

  Theo leaned back and smirked. “Yeah, I don’t know Jamal that well yet, but from the little time I’ve spent around him? He’s got that natural charisma, man. Like, this dude could walk into a room full of strangers and leave with free drinks, a job offer, and probably at least one wedding invitation.”

  Soi snorted. “Jamal’s social engineering skills are not a joke. The man makes friends faster than a porn star at a crypto convention.”

  Theo cackled. “Bro. That’s so accurate it hurts.”

  “Am I wrong?” Soi said, deadpan.

  “No. No, you are not wrong.” Theo wiped away a fake tear. “I mean, the guy talked his way into a five-star hotel and got a receptionist to bend security policy within, what? Five minutes?”

  Soi whistled. “And that was just him at half-power. Imagine if we actually trained him.”

  Theo grinned. “Oh, we are training him. And once we do? Jamal’s gonna be a problem for anybody who tries to pull a fast one on us.”

  Soi smirked. “Good. Because it’s time to make his ex’s lawyer very uncomfortable.”

  Theo cracked his knuckles. “Now that I can get behind.”

  ***