Megamind sat on their couch, a bowl of ice cream on his stomach. His feet were propped up on the coffee table, and resting on a pillow next to him was a ticking stopwatch. He raised a spoon to his mouth and, after a moment of hesitation, deposited the sweat treat onto his tongue.

  The smooth taste of butter pecan rolled over his taste buds. He swished it around his mouth before swallowing and going for another spoonful.

  And then another. And another. And another…

  There was no building coldness in his mouth and despite devouring the contents of the bowl in mere seconds, his magnificent brain remained unharmed.

  It was perfect.

  That was a given since he'd personally designed the ice cream maker, but first-hand confirmation was always a nice cherry on top. He frowned, realizing he could have gone the extra mile and made it dispense toppings as well. It was tempting to pry open the machine sitting on their improvised kitchen counter, but that would have to wait for another day.

  Besides, it wasn't like he hadn't already put his best effort into it. The cryocore at its heart was a work of art, achieving optimal ice cream temperatures despite exterior conditions. He could use it inside an active volcano and still enjoy the creamy goodness.

  "What are you doing?"

  The unexpected question made him jump, and the spoon in his mouth dropped onto his chest. Fortunately, he'd foreseen this type of accident, and safety measures ensured no dessert residue marred his costume.

  Without getting up from his spot, he tilted his head back, spotting the intruder. He stretched out an arm and gave her a thumbs up.

  Actually, with his position, it was a thumbs down. Wait, should it even be a thumbs up to begin with? Or was he meant to flip their meaning? He couldn't remember his decision on that, but he also wasn't willing to second-guess himself in front of his cadet villain. He withdrew the hand, opting to confirm his meaning with words.

  "You finally learned to stop knocking." It was a marked improvement and one he'd been trying to get her to adopt for a while. "Remember, villains have no obligation to announce their presence."

  As a rule of thumb, it was usually appropriate to do so, but there existed many exceptions. Canary's problem was that she was almost apologetic whenever she knocked. Her being more authoritative was a nice change.

  "I know that. Now why are you eating ice cream with your feet up? It's been eight days already."

  He changed his mind. Where was the meek Canary when you needed her? Not here, as her hard expression told him.

  Eight.

  That number meant something, but focusing on it would do no good.

  "There's more in the freezer if you'd like some," he offered, pointing a spoon in the direction. "But, if that's all, vacate the premises. I'm busy."

  He faced forward again, and his eyes darted to the stopwatch. There was no need to worry just yet, but it was getting close.

  "Super busy." Canary walked around the couch, blocking his view of the powered-off television. That ghost or hacker was rather elusive. Tracing them was proving more difficult than he thought at first. "I totally see it."

  She'd been like this as of late. It was a shame Minion wasn't back yet. He made an adequate buffer for situations like this.

  "Patience Canary," he lectured, moving his feet off the table and standing. "Bad things come to those who wait." And don't wait. He was proactive in spreading his evil. "Also, when was your last eye exam? Because I think you're missing something important."

  He swept a hand down himself and waited with an eyebrow raised. Her eyes went up and down him, settling on his chest.

  "Honestly, I completely missed that you were wearing a bib. What of it?"

  Oh. He'd forgotten that. He ripped it off and tossed it to the side. With it out of the way, he repeated the action of waving a hand down himself. There was no flicker of recognition, and his hand reached behind him, taking hold of his cape and throwing it forward. It hit her face, and he heard her muffled voice beneath the reinforced cloth.

  "You're in your costume!" She said excitedly, removing the cape. "Like, your actual one. Not your everyday one."

  Yes, exactly. This one had the tiny bells and whistles that contributed to showing what the super in supervillain meant.

  "You found her?" Her words came out rushed, and there was an expectant look in her eyes. "Then you're going to rescue them all?"

  He had indeed found her. She had much to learn about making a secret lair secret, especially around how they related to hostages. Surprisingly, she had released a few of her less prominent victims. Half of them blew up on their way out, but the others made it out okay. The deciding factor was whether or not their ransom was paid. However, her system was sloppy. She essentially had her people shove them out of vans before speeding off. That might work once or twice, but with his network of bots, he'd been able to track her down.

  "I'll stop her from embarrassing me by association," Megamind clarified. He began pacing away and waving a hand dismissively in the air above him. "And if some hostages manage to escape in the confusion, well, who can really keep track of things in the heat of the moment?"

  He could, but the thought of those headlines made him cringe. No, he already had a publicity nightmare, and rescuing hostages would not play with his fragile image. It was a bit annoying that Canary didn't suffer the same issues. Even when she very specifically targeted brothels, the headlines all warned about her budding 'gang.' Gangs were beneath him, but at least there was a negative connotation there.

  "Yep, total accident," Canary agreed easily, nodding her head. "Are you sure you don't need my help? I've been making everyone take EMT training, or a version of it. Jaz and Kimmy were thinking about getting certified once things settle down."

  Neither name sounded familiar, but it mattered little as he shook his head.

  "No, no. We have that covered." Or they would soon enough. "Focus on your homework instead."

  He'd assigned it a short time ago. It was to compare and contrast his video with Uber and Leets. Extra credit would be assigned for properly identifying every aspect that made his version superior. The exercise would let him assess if she was taking away the correct lessons from him.

  "About that…" Canary paused, holding her arms close. Her eyes roamed to the side, and they stopped on a particular table. "I–please don't tell me those are what I think they are."

  Hmmm? Megamind walked over to the table and grabbed one of the many items he'd recently whipped up.

  "Haha, think fast," he tossed the device toward her. She shrieked, but managed to get her hands around the device. It was held close to her chest before she remembered what it was. He could see the internal war play out on her face as she tried to decide what to do with his gift. Deciding that was enough for now, he walked up and plucked it out of her hands. "It's deactivated. What, did you think I'd keep a live bomb in the lair?"

  There were actually several, but they were set up as traps. She was better off not knowing about those.

  Canary stood frozen for a few seconds and then released a heated breath. She didn't immediately say anything, and he could hear her muttering numbers.

  "Okay," she finally said, holding an open-faced palm out. "Let me get this straight. Your plan to deal with the bomb tinker. Involves building bombs."

  He set the explosive ordinance gently back on the table and surveyed his work. There were an even ten of them and no two were alike. He had the classics, like the roll of dynamite and the smooth black ball, but then others were more creative. He had one that was a Russian nesting doll, another that was a jack in the box, and then even a birthday cake. That was actually the trickiest to set off, as all the candles needed to be lit to achieve detonation.

  "I don't think we've gone over this so take notes," he said, raising himself with his toes for added effect. "There are very few villainous scenarios that are not improved with more explosions."

  The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

  His heels touched the ground again, and he nodded with his hands on his hips, pleased with himself. He glanced to where Canary still stood, only to see her drag that palm down her face.

  "Wouldn't dealing with hostages fall under the make things worse category?"

  Megamind raised a finger to his chin, tapping it in thought before giving his verdict.

  "No."

  Maybe if it was someone incompetent using them, but he was Megamind. It wasn't like he'd accidentally set them. A series of unflattering memories flashed before his eyes. Perhaps he should have built in more safeties? Oh well. It was too late now.

  The door of the lair slammed open, and Megamind dove toward the couch. Canary followed quickly, huddling behind the piece of furniture for some reason. He didn't have time to parse why she reacted that way and instead scooped up the stopwatch.

  "Time!" Minion yelled, taking deep breaths with his hands on his mechanical knees. "How did I do, sir?"

  His finger clicked down, stopping the time. He ran some mental calculations, accounting for the 'lair factor.' It was a compromise they'd developed in the past. Otherwise, it was hard to compare runs.

  "Before I announce the results," Megamind said hesitantly, tilting his head to better see around Minion. "I need to verify you completed your objective."

  Megamind's eyebrows knit together as he noticed there was not one, but two burlap sacks over Minion's shoulder—one of which seemed to have a mind of its own and was trying to fly away.

  "Sure thing," Minion agreed with a smile. He let the flying bag go, and it sailed up, only to slam hard into the ceiling. He thought he heard a grunt of some kind, but he focused back on the other bag. Minion set it down and then pulled at the rope holding its entrance together. "One healer to go."

  Dressed in the same red bodysuit as he'd seen her last time, was a bound and gagged Othala. Her wide blue eyes locked on him before darting to Canary. They continued around the room, and after taking a long look at the other sack, she settled back on Canary.

  "Minion," Megamind began with a questioning voice. "Why are there two of them?"

  Minion's right hand extended, reaching up and dragging the bag down. He forced it on the ground and undid the knot. Holding it by its bottom, he shook it, and a black-clad figure tumbled out.

  "Well," Minion explained bashfully. "I was getting Othala when Rune tried to stop me, so…"

  He'd nabbed both. Such a situation had never happened before, and he took a moment to decide how it would factor in the results.

  "No bonus points," he declared with the appropriate level of authority. "The target was to grab Othala. I can't be rewarding the capture of other targets. If I did, then you'd be incentivized to steal whole busloads of people."

  It would muddy the point of the system and distract from its purpose. They'd come up with this game a while ago. As much as he'd like to conduct every kidnapping by himself, he could not be everywhere at once. Minion was the second-best solution, and when they could, they would track his progress with a standardized system.

  "I'm sure you're wanting to know how you did." Megamind drew out his words, adding to the suspense. Minion leaned forward, mouth handing open and eyes as wide as they could be. "You beat your best by twenty-three points!"

  His minion jumped up and rushed him, sweeping him up in a hug and twirling him around.

  "M-minion!" He protested in a whisper, banging on the gorilla arm. "Not in front of the hostages."

  He was set down, and he took some unsteady steps to the side in an attempt to regain his balance. Once successful, he straightened himself out.

  "Sorry, Sir. I got excited there."

  Clearly, but it was the type of behavior he'd come to accept from his minion. There were certainly worse traits to have.

  "You," there was a spitting sound, and he looked at the source. Rune had managed to remove her gag, and she was floating awkwardly by the rope securing her hands. "Absolute fuckers. Do you have any idea what happens to people who break the unwritten rules? Kaiser is going to crucify your asses!"

  Unwritten rules? He wasn't aware they had any, but it was humorous to think scoundrels such as these would claim rules of any kind. As a supervillain, whatever they were, he was above them.

  "Rune," Othala cautioned, having calmly removed her own gag. "We were technically taken after donning our costumes."

  Was that her issue? Well, of course Minion would wait. It wouldn't be proper otherwise. Wasn't that common sense?

  "That's bullshit," Rune argued, still in the air. "They jumped you right after you changed. No way they weren't following you before."

  Minion walked over, grabbing Rune by her robe.

  "I think that's enough foul language out of you, young lady. Do we need to reintroduce you to the corner?"

  The visible parts of her face turned bright red, and she struggled in his grasp.

  "You're so fu— lucky that Othala is here. If she wasn't, I'd be throwing you in the bay."

  Minion was a fish, so he wasn't sure what she was trying to accomplish there. Although her words did remind him that he had been missing a way to ensure Othala's cooperation. Rune's presence resolved that potential issue.

  "Bad Canary," Othala said, visibly wary of the girl. "Why have you taken us?"

  What? Megamind took a wide step, putting himself between the two women.

  "Excuse you, Canary has nothing to do with this." She was the entire reason he was doing this, but he would not be the one to restart the Triumph relationship rumors. He'd had to task youngest with leading a group of bots to sink that ship on the forums.

  "I," Megamind said while laying his hand on his chest. "Require your healing services for an afternoon. Once we're done, you can along your way."

  He could turn them in, but since he knew her identity, it was better to leave her out in the hopes she'd draw him to more.

  "He's going after Bakuda," Canary said, poking her head from behind him. "Frankly, I'm as confused as you are." She blinked, realizing something and releasing a groan. "Why am I not freaking out about you blatantly kidnapping people? I know they're Empire, but still. This doesn't feel like something that should be normal."

  That was some of the best news he heard all day. It meant his efforts were not in vain. He clasped both hands on her shoulder with a smile on his face.

  "We're making progress then."

  He felt her shoulders slump under his grip, and he gave them a reassuring squeeze before going back to the new arrivals. He tossed the cape behind him, sticking his chest out. He was not given an opportunity to speak, being interrupted.

  "Like hell! No way we're helping you!" The child screeched, only to tack on one last word in a low voice. "Again."

  Minion sighed, shaking his head and carrying the girl to a corner.

  "Wait," Othala called. Minion paused and turned to her curiously. "We'll aid you in this."

  Rune gave a deep and mocking laugh, shaking her head widely.

  "Have you lost it? Why?!"

  Othala swallowed, and her single eye drifted to Canary again before refocusing on him.

  "Removing that blight from our city helps us both, and remember Rune. The Empire serves the city's rightful citizens. That includes many of the ones she's taken."

  Her terminology confused him, as he couldn't recall any of the people Bakuda had taken who were of foreign nationality, but he decided it must have been her ignorance.

  "Damn." Rune looked like she had eaten something sour. "You make a good point. I guess I can bash some chinks in if I really have to."

  Again, the terminology was off. However, he understood what she broadly meant.

  "Canary, watch over the rude child while we're out," he ordered with a wave of the hand, ignoring the growing look of rage on said child. "Minion, warm up the Megamobile. We have a tinker to upstage."