Megamind was slumped against the dashboard of the Megamobile, drumming his fingers impatiently. If he looked out the window, he would have seen rows of shuttered buildings. It was what someone would expect of the docks. Bakuda’s operation was housed far down the street, and while he’d love nothing more than to step out into the night to face her, Minion, it seemed, had other plans.

  “Just one more second, sir,” Minion spoke in a distracted voice. He was behind the wheel and his fishy body was currently looking out the back. “I almost got it.”

  He’d said that five minutes ago. Megamind would have tried rushing him if he didn’t know it would just make things worse.

  The car inched forward as Minion let off the brake, only to jerk to a stop.

  “Almost had it there,” Minion lied, even if he didn’t know that’s what it was. “Let me try again.”

  He twisted the wheel, and they backed out of the narrow space for what felt like the thousandth time. Had Megamind been behind the wheel, he was certain he would have finished parallel parking by now.

  “Excuse me,” a voice from the backseat said. It was originally a storage area, but they’d squeezed Othala in there for the drive. “If we have to park, couldn’t we park over there?”

  She pointed to the other side of the street, which was bereft of any vehicles. In faded yellow paint, the words FIRE LANE could still be seen.

  “That’s enough out of you,” Megamind unholstered his De-Gun and fired a shot before she could properly react. He reached back and picked up the dehydrated cube, holding it between two fingers before slipping it in his pocket. “You see, Minion, this is what they call a pocket healer.”

  Video games were not his forte, but he’d recently picked up some of the lingo.

  “I see, sir,” Minion said, slowly entering the spot again. “You’re so wise.”

  With the reminder of his wisdom, Megamind realized there was a solution to their current predicament held in his hand. He pressed down the window lever, lowering it. Sticking his arm out, he flipped the gun on destroy and aimed at the car in front of him. He squeezed the trigger, coating the bumper in blue before it exploded backward, clearing the needed space.

  “Try now, Minion.”

  The Megamobile slipped into the widened parking spot, and to his great relief, the gear was shifted into park.

  “Perfect!” Minion exclaimed before gaining a befuddled look. “But why didn’t you do that to begin with?”

  There was a lot on his mind right now. He couldn’t be expected to be on the ball with everything. Those thoughts, however genuine, would be kept to himself.

  “Because that was a test,” he lied, popping the door and stepping out into the night. “And you failed. Better luck next time, Minion.”

  Minion exited the vehicle, slapping the roof of it gently.

  “I’ll be sure to do better next time, boss.” As he should. “Now let’s see here…” Minion stopped in front of a meter, tapping a foot on the floor and using his mechanical hand to rub the underside of his bowl while staring at it. “How long do you think we’ll be out? Oh shoot,” He bonked the head of his container and turned back to Megamind. “Did you bring any quarters? I forgot mine.”

  Megamind rounded the car, stepping onto the sidewalk. He pointed his gun at the back of the meter and gave it a quick squeeze, destroying only a small part of it. A few coins trickled out of the opening, clinging onto the sidewalk as they fell.

  “There. Take what you need and let’s get a move on.”

  He ignored the thank you received, beginning the short trek toward his final destination. He examined the row of cars on this side. It wasn’t completely full, but there were more than what would be expected on a boarded-up street. Really, it was silly no one else had found her before him.

  Were they even trying?

  Those thoughts wouldn’t be productive right now, and instead he checked the sling wrapped around his chest. He wasn’t sure what its original purpose was, but it was now used to carry his plethora of explosives. The style had much to be desired, but he’d painted it black and added some blue lightning bolts on the side to add some theming. Minion had taken some offense to Megamind doing the additions himself, but its presence was an afterthought and he wasn’t about to wait while Minion obsessed over getting it just right.

  Using his fingers to move his cargo around, he confirmed they were indeed all present. He moved to his holo watch next, clicking through some displays. His bots, both Brain and Spider varieties, were in position. As they should be, with how long Minion had taken.

  “Umm, sir,” Minion said after catching up. “Do you think it would be fine if I do a monologue? I was thinking, since this isn’t a hero versus villain situation, it might be good practice for me? You know, just in case you get a sore throat like that one time.”

  Megamind cringed at the memory. That was an embarrassing day. Having your nemesis wait patiently while you gargled salt water was mortifying.

  “That won’t be a problem. I’m not one to be caught by the same trick twice.”

  Minion squinted his eyes skeptically and raised a finger.

  “But what about—”

  “Ata, ata, ata,” Megamind interjected, waving his finger back and forth. “Head in the game, Minion, no distractions.”

  Especially when those ‘distractions’ were memories that refuted his point. There was a time and place for that sort of thing, and it wasn’t now. After all, the preamble was about to begin.

  A series of shouts could be heard up ahead, and a handful of figures ran out into the street. Their heads snapped in his direction, and one of them gripped their hair, a panic-stricken expression on his face.

  “Fuck!” His startled shout carried over the night. “That’s my car!”

  Then he shouldn’t have parked it like that.

  Before he could order his minion to take care of the minions, one of them tugged on the recently made pedestrian’s shoulder. Rapid words were exchanged in a foreign language and then they rushed back to whence they came.

  He placed a preemptive hand on Minion’s arm, holding him back.

  “They should get a few seconds to prepare,” Megamind advised, pressing on his watch to alert the infiltration team. “It will give them the illusion of having a chance.”

  With that said, they strolled up to the building in question. It was the largest on the block and likely drew the majority of foot traffic during its heyday. A large set of double doors served as the main entrance and hung above them were defunct neon letters. There were some missing, but once upon a time they would have spelled: Bay Theatre. To the sides of the door, placed at an angle for better viewing for those in line, were faded posters of old movies.

  Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

  Megamind could begrudgingly admit she’d picked an appropriate venue. This place had originally been a show theater before being converted to play movies. The change hadn’t saved it, and its doors had been closed for several years before Bakuda took up residence.

  “Three Metrocity, four Metrocity,” he mumbled under his breath. “Okay, that’s enough of a handicap.”

  He lied; they’d need much more than that.

  Megamind aimed his gun, blasting the doors open in short order. He stepped forward, traveling over the burning remains of it.

  “Why would you look at this Minion?” Megamind projected his voice, waving away the smoke as he entered. “I’ve found the location of our next lair.” He placed a flat palm above his eyes and leaned forward, as if straining to see something. “Oh, but it looks to have a bit of an infestation.”

  Referencing the photos of the original he found online, Megamind noticed that most of the permanent fixtures had been removed at some point. All that remained were the counters at the far end, one to sell tickets and the other refreshments. ABB members were crouched behind them now, holding their weapons at the ready. They seemed to be the ones who used their time wisely, as others were caught out of position and scrambled away, tripping over bedrolls and the odd crate as they fled to the sides of the room.

  “Cape!” One of them yelled, spit flying from his mouth. “This is Bakuda’s turf. Get lost if you know what’s good for you!”

  Megamind pulled back, lowering his hand and tilting his head in confusion.

  “Bakuwho?” He feigned ignorance before shaking his head. “Well, no matter. Minion, it’s spring, which means...”

  “It’s time for some cleaning,” Minion finished for him, before deciding to continue on an unnecessary tangent. “But actually, you really shouldn’t wait until spring to begin cleaning. Can you imagine the mess that would build up? No, I’ve found that a deep cleaning at the end of the week, along with setting aside some time each day to tidy up, has the best—”

  Gunfire showed exactly what they thought of Minion’s housekeeping tips, and bullets bounced harmlessly across the quickly deployed shield.

  “There’s just no helping some people,” Megamind comforted his minion, patting him on the back. “Now go, stop wasting time.”

  Contrary to his order, Minion didn’t budge. Instead, his right arm rapidly extended. A squeal followed soon after as his swift movements nabbed one of the gangsters in his fist.

  “I’m not AB—”

  The gang member’s sentence was cut off as Minion swung the arm, using him as an improvised bowling ball and knocking down several other pins.

  “What do you think he was going to say?” Megamind voiced his curiosity before waving the thought away. “Well, don’t just stand there, Minion. I can handle myself fine.”

  He’d be a poor villain if he could be stopped with only lead.

  Minion glanced back at him and looked to want to say something when heavy fire started pouring in from the front. A trio of gangsters had entered from a door behind the concession stand. Unlike the others who wielded handguns and shotguns, these wielded assault rifles.

  “Does this ever work?” Megamind asked out loud, thankful for the foresight of putting in earbuds. They filtered out large changes of noise and without them, his ears would be ringing. “I know it’s expected, but do you think they have to draw lots when deciding whose turn it is?”

  Had he lived the life of a background character, that would be one role he’d never audition for.

  “Maybe it’s a dice system, or a dartboard?” Minion speculated with him, peering through the translucent barrier. “Don’t you think some of these people look a little different from the others?”

  Megamind followed his line of sight. This did seem to be a disparate group. Their ages spread across a wide gamut, going from teens to on the higher end of middle-aged. Clothing wasn’t uniform, with only part of them sporting the green and red the ABB members were meant to be adorned with. Actions were also all over the place, with some cowering in the corners as bystanders liked to do.

  “We should have a talk with Canary,” Megamind said, plotting an intervention before it was too late. “It wouldn’t look right if her group were as unprofessional as this.”

  He knew her core was solid enough, but they had to be mindful of the extras.

  “I’ll add it to the schedule,” Minion replied, perking up when the click of empty magazines was heard. “I suppose you could say it’s… showtime!”

  It was location-appropriate, but he’d been hoping to use that himself. He hadn’t called dibs, though, and so he kept his silence as Minion charged ahead.

  With his shield gone, Megamind was prepared to deal with more shots sent his way. Some were definitely fired. However, they came nowhere near him. He wasn’t even attempting to dodge or use cover; he was standing out in the open.

  “Have any of you ever fired a gun before? If not, it’s not that complex, and if so, you desperately need to visit an optometrist.”

  There were low bars, and then there was this. It’s like they weren’t even trying to hit him!

  “Behind you!”

  A frantic voice caught his attention, and he turned just in time to see the tip of a knife heading for his eye. He jerked his head to the side, narrowly missing the blade. His impressive mind went blank for a moment as he took in the familiar demon mask.

  Oni Lee.

  The first thought that his brain supplied after recognizing his opponent was ‘finally.’ The second thought couldn’t be fully formed as he threw himself to the side.

  He hadn’t dared hope that they’d meet again, but here he was. A grin made itself at home on his face, and he fired at one of the two figures in front of him. The one he hit burst into ash.

  “Oni Lee! Has anyone ever told you, you’re a difficult man to find?” He asked playfully. However, his opponent was not in a playful mood, and rather than teleporting, he charged him with knives drawn. “Oh, now you want to stab me, but when I was practically begging for it before, you were nowhere to be found. What do you have to say for yourself?”

  A knife cleaved down, missing his shoulder by millimeters. Another swung for his throat, and he fell to a crouch, avoiding a grab from behind. His gun shot, destroying the Oni Lee to his front and allowing him to roll away from the one at his rear. He jumped back to his feet, shot the charging clone, then took a wide step to the right, firing where he had just been. Ash fell as the clone he hit was dispatched.

  This fight was far easier after he knew the routine.

  “I would say you’re the strong, silent type.” Megamind paused to take in the multiple clones who had appeared all around him. “But we both know the strong part would be a lie.”

  There were four in view, with another two likely to be behind. From his observations, he knew they lasted 5-10 seconds, which would be plenty of time to stick their pointy bits into him. He was about to trim them down to more manageable numbers when a loud blast came from where Minion had been cleaning up.

  “Uh, sir?” Minion’s voice called. “I think I’m going to need a new shoulder.”

  Glancing at his Minion, he was puzzled by the sight. His suit hadn’t been damaged per se, but a non-insignificant portion of his right shoulder had been turned into glass. Looking at the area near him, it was not the only thing subject to that change. The floor, counters, and even half of…

  Well, there was a lot of glass lying around now. And screaming. And Oni Lees trying to slice him.

  Wait, one of those things was more important than the others.

  Megamind grabbed a square object from his bomb carrier, frantically winding it up. Just as the crank hit its limit, the first clone was on him. He dropped the device and went into a crouch again, swinging his cape over his head to protect it.

  A soft jingle, unheard by anyone besides him, began to play. He could feel a knife trying to poke into the back of his head, and then an arm wrapped around his, trying to pull him out of his protective cocoon. He stubbornly resisted, even as he felt more hands grasping at him.

  He could hear Minion voice concern, but it wasn’t needed as the little jingle came to an end.

  There was the sound of a loaded spring being unleashed, and then a mechanical voice screeched.

  “Pop goes the Bakuda!”

  Hmmm, maybe he should have programmed it with more dynamic lines. Oh well, one could only account for so much.

  “Pop!” It sang. “Pop, pop.”

  One by one, he felt the hands grabbing at him disappear. When he felt them few enough, he shook his arm free and began firing at them point-blank. Now completely unencumbered, he stood.

  His marvelous creation was the first thing he noticed. The jack in the box was out of his box and, armed with a pair of knives, was swinging wildly at anything in a five-meter radius that wasn’t Megamind. It bounced up and down as it stretched toward the clones and beat them at their own game. Oni Lee didn’t relent, sending clone after clone to their swift death. A few tried to assault the box itself, but its mechanical limbs were too fast to capture.

  “Sir, I thought you said those were bombs?”

  Megamind looked over to Minion, who had managed to clear out the remaining ABB, at least those actively resisting.

  He did say that, and he mentally checked the time before rearing back his foot and giving the box a kick. It flew a short distance away, landing at the feet of an Oni Lee.

  Megamind gave him a wave as the box burst, shrapnel shooting upward. He stood ready, Megalight in hand, as the Oni Lee collapsed into ash. Megamind pointed it at the last location Oni Lee had been looking at, and a beam of light hit the new Oni Lee as he materialized. The cape’s arm came up, attempting to shield his face, but it was too late. Megamind could see his other arm reach for one of the grenades on his chest. A debilitate proved faster, hitting him center mass.

  The demon mask-wearing man spasmed, blue arcs of lightning running over him. His muscles locked, and for a moment, it looked like he might remain standing before he tilted forward, hitting the ground with a thud and managing to throw the noisy room into silence.

  “That’s one down, Minion.” Megamind said, a sense of satisfaction bubbling within him, even as his mind recalled the effects of Bakuda’s bomb.

  “Technically, sir,” Minion waved an arm across the room. “I think that’s more than one. I’m not sure. It’s kind of confusing.”

  A common enough state, the problem was, Minion wasn’t the only one. Megamind locked eyes with the one who shouted at him earlier.

  Why had they warned him?