Volume 4 Chapter 19 Reunion

  I was drowsy and sleepy, most of the time I was in a state of confusion. However, after three to five days like this, my spirit gradually improved, but when I heard from Fen Bi, Xuan Qing's illness had worsened, with high fever all day long.

  When I asked Wen Shi Chu Xuan Qing why he was so seriously ill, he just evaded the question and didn't give a clear answer. I also didn't have the energy to argue with him, so I had to focus on recovering myself first.

  That day, I had taken my medicine and was feeling a bit better, so I leaned back on the bed with my eyes closed to rest. Bian Qing sat beside me, sorting through some herbs in the sunlight. When she saw that no one was around, I asked her all the questions that had been puzzling me for days: "Why did Wang Ye suddenly fall ill like this?"

  The worry on her face was like the white frost that covers withered grass at dawn, and her complexion was also wilted and waxen. She frowned and said: "Master Wen only said that after catching a cold a few days ago, he didn't take good care of himself, and Miss had been ill for several days and nights without eating or sleeping well, so when his body relaxed, the illness surged up like a tiger. Therefore, it couldn't be controlled for the time being."

  I hesitated for a moment and asked again: "Then how did the prince get wind and cold?"

  She lowered her head, speaking in a soft voice like a mosquito: "On that day, Master Wen had already said it when he was present. When the king rushed to the Chan room to see Miss, his clothes were missing, and coincidentally, the weather was cold that day..."

  I smiled slightly, then collected my smile and stared at her: "That's what Mr. Wen said. I want to hear your truth." I asked in a soft voice: "Huanbi, since Wen Shi has his reasons for deceiving me, do you also want to deceive me?"

  She twisted a corner of her garment, biting her lip and looking at me hesitantly, saying: "Miss, do you really want to know?"

  A faint mist of fragrance wafts out from the censer with twirling blue flowers, dispersing lightly in the air and releasing a subtle scent of Buddha's hand citron. This aroma clears one's mind and spirit.

  It seemed as if I was still in a daze, with an icy body embracing me. The cold body felt like ice and snow, allowing me to gain a hint of coolness and comfort in the sweltering haze. I slowly regained my composure and said, "Naturally."

  The color of Biyu's face slightly changed, and she seemed to be in a daze. She slowly said: "That day, the young lady had a high fever, her body was burning hot, and she started talking nonsense. I and Qianshui brought snow water to cool her down, but no matter how many cold towels we applied, it didn't work. Even the cold water turned warm. Qianshui asked me to go invite Master Wen to come, but at that time Master Wen had just been summoned to the palace to treat Hu De's illness and couldn't be invited in. I was anxious and could only cry. Coincidentally, Wang Ye brought Ah Jin back to Qingliangtai and saw me going to the Chan room. Seeing the young lady like this, Ah Jin immediately rode a horse to invite the doctor from Qingliangtai, but it just so happened that a big snowstorm started, blocking the mountain road, and the doctor couldn't be invited over. The young lady's face was red and hot, her breathing was urgent, and we were all scared to death." Biyu stopped for a moment and continued: "Actually, the young lady's illness was just high fever that wouldn't stop, without a doctor's diagnosis or medicine to reduce the fever. So..." Her face turned bright red, and she hesitated, unable to continue speaking.

  She was so bashful, I somehow vaguely understood, and my face felt like it was on fire.

  In my daze, the person who was hugging me with an icy body was Xuan Qing.

  "Miss, don't worry, you were wearing clothes at that time."

  I calmed down and slowly sat up, saying: "Bianbi, go get my outer garment for me, and accompany me to take a look at the king."

  "Miss, your body hasn't fully recovered yet. Going out now would only make you catch a cold again. Absolutely not."

  I coughed twice, waved my hand and said: "There's no need to talk about whether it's possible or not. The prince has great kindness towards me, now that he's ill, I must go see him. You know my temper, don't try to persuade me again."

  She saw that I was determined to go, and it wasn't good to persuade me anymore. She could only take out a thick woolen coat for me to wear, tidy up my hair, hold a warming pan in my arms, and support me all the way to the Green Wild Hall.

  The place where I live is far from the Green Wild Hall, and my body is weak. I had to take a break after walking for a long time before arriving. The Green Wild Hall has a very ancient charm. Ah Jin saw me and said with his head down: "Madam has arrived, but the king is still sleeping."

  I nodded slightly and said softly: "I'll go in and take a look, I'll be out soon." And then asked: "Has the princess come?"

  "Ah Jin shook his head: "How can she come back? The Empress Dowager cannot leave An Qi Guan in this life. And the Prince's illness is still being kept secret.""

  I nodded, "Let's keep it from her for now, so as not to worry the imperial consort."

  The study was spacious and bright, with only a few pieces of golden orange wood furniture, except for books, there were all sorts of famous swords and spears hanging on the wall. I felt a bit of comfort in my heart, it really didn't have any trace of a woman.

  He was sound asleep, his face pale and haggard from illness. His white nightgown had a subtle sheen to it, with a delicate pattern of willow leaves at the neckline. Even in sleep, his brow was slightly furrowed, not a happy expression.

  The sunlight was thin and gauzy, with a hint of peach red color, dyeing the white misty air, shining through the curtains onto his face, with a soft and gentle glow, as if there was a lamp lit inside his body. His ebony bed was dark and heavy, making the white clothes on him seem even more dreamlike.

  I walked slowly towards him. A faint, hazy memory from my illness, as if a long time ago, his tear fell on my face, that warm and gentle sensation; or this time, his cold body lying in the snow and ice, cooled down my burning sick body. The memories of coldness and warmth entwined and melted at the bottom of my heart, and with his existence, the first flower bloomed in my long-deserted heart.

  I sat down in front of his bed, gently stretched out my hand, and pressed on the curved brow, gently unfolding it for him. I always want to see him smiling, sincere, cunning, warming up my icy desolate thoughts.

  I turned my head away, and on the long table under the window was a pot of Wenzhu bamboo, with leaves like layered green feathers and clouds, slender and elegant. I thought that it must be an emotionless plant to remain evergreen year after year, neither withering nor fading.

  But humans are not plants.

  I sat quietly like this, silently watching his sleeping face, with infinite peace in my heart. I just felt that it was good to be so quiet and still.

  He woke up, and it was already an hour later.

  The moment he opened his eyes, a spark of excitement burst out like wildfire, illuminating his entire face that had been dulled by illness. He struggled to sit up and said, "You've come, are you better now?"

  I smiled and said, "You're already able to get out of bed to see me, you said it was okay?"

  He held my hand and said, "Your hands are still so cold." Then he asked, "How long have you been here?"

  I withdrew my hand, "But for a while, seeing you sleep well, I didn't want to wake you up." I asked him, "Qing, do you want some water?"

  He could hardly believe it, stunned for a moment, and muttered: "What did you just call me?"

  I slowly stood up, made a cup of white chrysanthemum tea and handed it to him, with a faint smile at the corner of my mouth: "Qing. Can I call you that?"

  "Really, of course!" He suddenly sat up straight, a smile spreading across his clear and handsome face, tightly grasping my hand. "Xuan Er, I never thought it would happen in my dreams."

  This time, I didn't withdraw my hand, but lightly said: "Things in the world are often unexpected." I brought the tea to his lips, "First moisten your throat a bit."

  He took a sip of water, but didn't swallow it immediately, just holding it in his mouth, gazing at me quietly, with deep and boundless emotions in his eyes.

  His low voice was like a warm and bright light, "You wore white clothes today."

  I lowered my head, and on me was a long dress made of moon-white brocade, with delicate pear flowers embroidered in pale silver white thread. I felt a bit embarrassed, and smiled shallowly: "Since entering the Ganlu Temple, I haven't worn such clothes again." I said softly: "This was brought to me by Mo Da Niang, I just casually put it on, and didn't know you were also wearing white."

  His thick and solid palm was stuck to the back of my hand, and the tactile sensation of the connected palms was warm and lingering. He said, "I always believe in telepathy."

  Outside the window, there is a biting cold wind, carrying a heavy chill that howls like a dragon. Inside the room, it's warm and cozy like spring, I smile as I look at him, my heart also filled with peace and joy.

  Just then, I was about to call someone in to help him bathe, when I heard the sound of footsteps outside and Ah Jin rushed in saying: "Your Highness, the Emperor and Empress Jing as well as Hu De Yi have arrived."

  Xuan Ling! I suddenly heard this name, my heart was shocked, as if countless thunderbolts were flashing in the sky at the same time, rumbling. Xuan Qing also changed color slightly and said: "How did Your Majesty come?"

  Ah Jin made eyes at me, and I stood up dazedly, saying: "I'll go out for a while."

  "Quickly, they're coming in from outside! If we go out now, we'll run into them!"

  Xuan Qing immediately calmed down and said: "There is a screen behind my bed, go behind it to hide for now."

  I didn't say another word, and immediately hid behind the screen. Just as I stood still, I faintly heard the sound of pearls and jade, the scent of rouge wafting gently, and a loud male voice said: "Sixth brother is ill, no one comes to discuss poetry with me."

  That voice, still so familiar, was heard suddenly and without warning, almost freezing my body. It was as cold as if it were still in the Tongli Palace during our last meeting, that kind of icy coldness and decisiveness that grasped all my consciousness in an instant. I held onto the screen tightly, feeling sour and painful in my head.

  However, it was Ah Jin supporting Xuan Qing in making a bow and saying: "Long live Your Majesty, may you be safe and prosperous."

  Xuan Ling pressed him down with one hand and smiled: "Since you're ill, why bother with formalities."

  The voice of Jing Fei was familiar, and after seeing off Xu Qing, it turned out to be a extremely delicate and sweet female voice, "Your Highness is well."

  Xuan Qing coughed twice and smiled: "Brother Huang is in a good mood today, even Hu De Yi came out together. But how did you think of coming to my humble abode?"

  Xuan Lingdao said, "It's rare for the snow to melt, and today the weather is fine again. They're always cooped up in the palace, it's no fun at all. I heard you were ill, so I came out to see you." He carefully examined Xuan Qing, "You still look a bit unwell, but your spirit is good, and you have a healthy glow, like someone who has just received some delightful news." Then he turned his head towards Hu Derong and said, "Yunrong, you're so reserved now. In the past, whenever we met, you would call out 'Sixth Uncle', but now you don't even say a word."

  Hudiyi covered her mouth and smiled, "Is Your Majesty teasing me for not understanding things? Now that I am the imperial concubine, of course, I will put this first and observe the etiquette between ruler and subject even when seeing the Sixth Prince, so how can I still just call him 'older cousin'?"

  Empress Jing smiled and said: "Sister Hu is so sensible, the Emperor said she was stiff, it's really unjust to sister."

  Suddenly a soft and sweet voice said: "I heard that the Sixth Uncle is ill, Meng Yue specially came to pay respects to the uncle."

  The soft voice entered my ears, and my body suddenly shook. All my heart and soul were attracted by that small voice, and I involuntarily looked outwards. The screen was made of four panels of cherry blossom wood carvings, with five-inch wide hollowed-out flower patterns around the edges.

  I carefully covered my clothes and peeked out to take a look, within my line of sight, there was a child about two years old, being held in the arms of Jing Fei, with two round buns on her head, each adorned with two bright pearls, wearing a pink water-jade embroidered jacket, with a small white face as sweet as a melon seed, and a pair of big eyes that shone like two black silver balls.

  I only took a glance, and it felt like all the blood in my body rushed to my heart. Even though I had never seen Rouyue's portrait before, just this one look was enough for me to know that she must be my daughter. Her eyebrows, eyes, nose, and mouth were all identical to mine; only the outline of her jawline was exactly like Xuanling's.

  All I could hear was my own heartbeat, pounding away, beating faster and faster, it felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest. Meng Yue, this is the Meng Yue I've been thinking about day and night. My head spun hot, and I almost burst into tears.

  My Mengyue, I really want to hug my Mengyue. She is so lovely.

  But I couldn't go out, how could I? I stuck tightly to the screen, desperately holding back my tears that were about to burst out.

  "That side of the pavilion, Xuan Qing stretched out his hand and smiled: "Rong Yue has arrived, would you like to hug Uncle Huang?" I knew what Xuan Qing meant, from his position, I was the one who could see Rong Yue most clearly."

  Ling Yue smiled and said, "The emperor is ill, so I shouldn't disturb him." As she spoke, she snuggled into Jing Fei's arms, rubbing against her left and right, never staying still for a moment.

  Xuan Ling burst out laughing: "This little girl is so clever, knowing you're sick and refusing to let you hold her, still trying to find an excuse to pretend to be sensible and say she's afraid of disturbing you. This cleverness is exactly the same as her mother's."

  As soon as Xuan Ling finished speaking, everyone fell silent for a moment. What Xuan Ling meant was naturally not Jing Fei. However, Hu De Yi smiled and said: "Yes, to say that although Sister Jing Fei usually doesn't make a sound, she is actually very clever and wise, otherwise how can it be said that great wisdom is like foolishness? Only the Emperor knows that Sister is so intelligent and elegant, so he loves Sister and Zong Yue Emperor so much."

  Hu Deyi's soft and gentle words eased the awkwardness. Xuan Ling clapped his hands and laughed, "After all, Yunrong knows how to talk." As he spoke, he pulled her closer by the shoulders.

  Hudiyi's affection for Jiao grew, and she said, "Yes. Yunrong is the emperor's consort and also his cousin, so she naturally understands the emperor better than others."

  The imperial concubine smiled faintly and said, "Indeed, Your Majesty's favoritism towards Princess Hu is not without reason. I heard that after the New Year, you will also grant a position to her younger sister, Ronghua."

  Hudiyi smiled and said, "Princess Jing is joking. Princess Jing has the support of the Empress Dowager, so she naturally enjoys a high status, and the Emperor also loves her dearly."

  The imperial concubine smiled and said, "Sister has a harmonious and elegant princess, the princess is lovely at a young age, really just like sister. When she grows up, she will definitely be a beautiful girl."

  The Empress and Hu De Yi were chatting, my gaze fell on Hu De Yi, this so-called new favorite of the Emperor, whose noble birth was only surpassed by the Empress in the palace. I saw her with a goose egg-like face, long and narrow eyes that sparkled with spirit, pink lips, and a slender figure, wearing a rose-purple satin jacket with intricate embroidery, pearl-encrusted collar, and a golden-edged pipa-shaped outer garment. A pink cloud-patterned silk sash tied around her waist, the whole person was like a branch of peach blossoms welcoming spring, extremely delicate and beautiful. On her hairpin, a gold thread eight-treasure hairpin shone brightly, adorned with countless pearls and jade, exuding an aura of luxury. The overall air of opulence overshadowed the Empress who stood beside her, wearing a blue satin jacket embroidered with winter plum blossoms.

  However, Hudu Yi, who is so noble and beautiful, also has her shortcomings. I suppose Jing Fei must have already known about them, which is why she can smile so calmly.

  Xuan Ling asked about Xuan Qing's illness and how it was being treated. Xuan Qing replied politely one by one. Xuan Ling said, "For a period of time you didn't come to the palace, even I felt suffocated. If you don't come, there won't be anyone to talk with me about poetry and literature... if she were still here..." Xuan Ling's expression changed slightly, and he stopped talking immediately without continuing.

  I really wanted to see his expression at this moment, but Xuan Qing's body blocked my view, and I could only see the corner of his bright yellow robe. The bright yellow color was so dazzling that I felt a chill just by glancing at it, and immediately lowered my head.

  Xuan Qing said: "In the past, when Empress Chun Yuan first entered the palace, I often saw my brother and sister-in-law discussing poetry and composition together. At that time, I was only five or six years old and had just begun to understand some human affairs. In my heart, I always felt very envious."

  Xuan Ling was lost in thought for a moment, then sighed and said: "Later on, only Zhen Shi could still speak with me for a few words, but unfortunately, she was too disobedient."

  At this time, Huan Yue was playing with an embroidered ball and curiously said: "Mother, who is Zhen Shi?"

  Jing Fei was at a loss, unable to speak for the moment, and could only stare at Xuan Ling. Xuan Ling carried over Meng Yue and kissed her forehead, smiling: "Someone you don't know. Don't ask, just call your mother to hold you."

  My heart suddenly choked. Meng Yue, she must have never known that a mother like me existed. She had so many imperial consorts, her father emperor had so many concubines, yet he deliberately concealed me from her, not letting her know of my existence.

  My own daughter, when she asks about me, I'm just a stranger. Even if one day we pass by each other, I'll still be just a passerby. For a lifetime, it can only be like strangers.

  "Huh? So the Emperor has always thought us stupid and unable to speak properly, huh? Consort Jing is magnanimous, but I'm getting angry!"

  Xuan Ling stroked her nose and smiled: "You're so petty, yet you love to throw tantrums." He then turned to Xuan Qing and said: "I've never been to your Clear Breeze Pavilion before, but I've always heard it's great. Now that I've seen it, it's indeed exquisite. And the best part is that it's built on a mountain top, overlooking all the other mountains, with an endless view."

  Xuan Qing smiled and said: "If you like it, brother, just come and sit down often."

  Xuan Ling sighed, "Who has such good fortune to often come out? It's difficult to leave the palace, and how many officials' eyes are staring at you?" He laughed loudly and said, "Your Qingliang Pavilion is indeed good, but it still lacks a mistress. Last time, the young lady from the Pei State Duke's family, both I and the Empress Dowager thought she was quite suitable, but you repeatedly declined, so we had to give up. However, you're not getting any younger, and it's about time for you to take a formal wife."

  Xuan Qing smiled faintly and said, "Let's talk about it again. If there is one that you like, I will definitely make her the mistress of Qingliangtai and cherish her for a lifetime."

  Xuan Lingdao said, "You've got your own ideas, that's good. After all, it's a lifelong event, and you have to be careful. The most anxious time has passed, so take your time to choose carefully." He half-joked, "If you like, I'll reserve some good ones from the next batch of showgirls for you."

  Xuan Qing just smiled faintly: "Brother Emperor is joking."

  Xuan Ling yawned and said: "The sky is not early anymore, I still have to review the memorial on my way back. Sixth brother, you take good care of yourself."

  Xuan Qing struggled to get up, but Xuan Ling pressed him down, smiling: "No need, just focus on recovering from your illness." Then he took Jing Fei and Hu De Yi with him, and the group of people left.

  Before long, they heard them go far away.

  Xuan Qing came over and pulled my hand, softly saying: "He's already gone."

  I let out a low "hmm", and the tears I had been holding back for half a day finally couldn't be held back anymore, rolling down my face. He gently patted my back, softly comforting me: "Even if the Emperor refuses to acknowledge you, you are still Rouyue's mother, this is something that no one can change."

  My inner weakness and sorrow are entwined like silkworms, wrapping around my heart, tightening to the point where I can barely breathe.

  For a moment, I raised my head, struggled out of his arms, and slowly shook my head: "It's better that Meng Yue doesn't know. A mother like me would be her shame."

  Xuan Qing frowned and said: "Nonsense! Having a mother like you who always thinks of her is her greatest pride."

  "I sighed and said: 'It doesn't matter whether I know or not, as long as she's doing well, that's all that matters, and I can be slightly at ease.'"

  I wiped away my tears and called out to him again, "Wang Ye..."

  He was taken aback, "Xuan Er, why don't you call me by my name anymore?"

  I lowered my head, gazing at the pot of gleaming green bamboo, and said softly: "Just now, addressing Your Highness by name was indeed a breach of etiquette on my part. I hope Your Highness will forgive me for this momentary mistake. And may I also request that you continue to address me as before?"

  I deliberately made it clear again that I was different from him, but in fact, the difference between me and him is not just a gap, but a chasm.

  My life, which had easily escaped the palace life, how could it have any connection with him from the imperial court again? My feelings are uncontrollable, and I absolutely cannot have them again.

  Xuan Qing's astonishment and shock did not diminish, but instead deepened into profound doubt, saying: "Is it because of the Emperor?"

  I shook my head, holding the small hand warmer in my arms and absorbing a bit of warmth to sustain my energy. "The emperor's unexpected arrival only made me sober up. I was momentarily confused just now, which is why I didn't mind the difference in status and offended Your Highness."

  He furrowed his brow and smiled wryly, "He's never been to Qingliangtai before, I didn't think he'd come so suddenly. But for him it was an impromptu visit, whereas for me and you it's..."

  "Things in life are often unexpected." I slowly lowered my head, carefully hiding the tears at the corners of my eyes, my voice devoid of any warmth.

  He still smiled, but a hint of sadness appeared in his eyes: "You didn't say that just now."

  This sentence, which I just said, contains a warm and expected meaning. Along with my body, my long-sealed heart has come back to life. However, the sudden arrival of winter makes me realize that this season is bitterly cold. At this moment, it's already a completely different state of mind.

  My fingers clenched the snowy skirt as if holding a handful of cold snow. "Since Your Highness believes in the spiritual connection between hearts, then at this moment, you must also understand my thoughts. Why is it necessary for me to say more?"

  My indifference once again built a strong wall for me, defending against his care and warmth.

  I'd rather live in such indifference myself.

  Xuan Ling, he's always a basin of cold water that wakes me up from my beautiful dreams, making me feel chilled to the bone.

  Xuan Qing's mouth was filled with a deep bitterness, "I almost hated Huang Xie, if he hadn't come..."

  My tone was as desolate and bleak as the mountain wind that howled through at this time of year, no matter how brilliant the sunlight shone, it couldn't warm me up. I interrupted him, "Whether he comes or not, some dreams are bound to wake up." I saw him standing barefoot on the ground, and my heart ached, saying, "The king's body hasn't recovered yet, so take a good rest. Mo Xuan said goodbye first."

  I smoothed out my clothes and left with dignity. Xu Qing's voice was filled with a deep sorrow and determination, "I know that just now, for a moment, the wind in your heart was blowing towards me. Even if it was only for that brief instant, I was overjoyed. I will wait for you, wait for the wind in your heart to blow towards me again. As long as you're willing, I'll always be by your side, and as soon as you turn around, you'll see me."

  I halted in my steps, and my heart softened, almost to the point of tears, yet I opened my mouth to say: "Does Your Highness care about this cousin of Hu De Yi?"

  "What?" he exclaimed in surprise.

  I quietly said: "If the king is concerned, please remind Hu De Yi that when speaking with anyone in the palace, she must not show off her understanding of the emperor. At least, the emperor will be very displeased, which would be extremely unfavorable to her position in the palace."

  Xuan Qing was taken aback for a moment, then said: "I will find a way to remind her."

  I said faintly: "Hudeyi's temperament may not listen to the king's advice, it's enough for the king to do his best." After finishing speaking, I turned around and left immediately.

  Xuan Qing called for Fen Bi to come in and said, "Your current residence is really not convenient. I have ordered someone to clean up the Xiao Xian Guan for you to live in. You... madam can go take a look when you are free to see if it's satisfactory."

  I bowed and said: "Your Highness is still so considerate of me despite being ill, I really can't bear it. Actually, it doesn't matter where I stay."

  His complexion was as white as his nightgown, and he said, "You go take a look and see if you like it or not."

  His grand affection, how can I resist? I was speechless, only deeply bowing my head and slowly walking out.

  The sun was shining brightly outside, and it was a rare good day in winter. The moment the sunlight shone on me, I almost felt like I was in a different world, as if everything that had just happened was just a dream. Huanbi supported me steadily as we walked back, and then she warmed up some medicine for me to drink. As the bitter taste of the herbal medicine invaded my tongue, it brought me back to reality. Huanbi spoke softly, "The Emperor came just now."

  "Uh-huh."

  "Miss, have you seen him?" asked Lingluo cautiously.

  The bitter and astringent medicinal liquid lingers on the tip of the tongue, unable to be shaken off. "And yet, nothing is seen."

  Huan Bi seemed to have let out a sigh of relief, patting her chest and saying: "That's good. Just now I saw the Emperor enter the Green Wild Hall, I was really nervous, fortunately I didn't see him." After Huan Bi finished speaking, she put a sugar-coated plum into my mouth, saying: "The medicine is too bitter, Miss, eat a plum to dispel the bitterness."

  I held a plum in my mouth, remained silent for a moment, and muttered vaguely: "If you don't have it in your heart, you will never see it."

  "Then, what the Empress Dowager is holding is... our Princess Yongyue..."

  I lay down and fell asleep, "Bian Que, I'm tired." All I wanted to do was sleep well, sleep soundly without any consciousness.

  Xuan Ling, so I can't escape his life like this?

  Lan Yu didn't dare say another word, gently covered me with a quilt and quietly retreated.