Volume 4 Chapter 20 Xiao Xian's Past

  In the following days, I was just as if nothing had happened, recuperating from my illness in peace. Xuan Qing also stayed in his Green Wildness Hall to rest and recover, occasionally coming over to visit me when he could get out of bed, only talking about trivial matters related to Xiao Xian Guan, exchanging a few casual words, never mentioning the visit of Xuan Ling that day, avoiding any awkwardness between us.

  Cai Wei and Cai Lan came to invite me to visit Xiao Xian Guan three times a day, I couldn't refuse, so I finally chose a good weather day, brought Huan Bi with me, and followed Cai Wei and Cai Lan to go there together.

  The Xiao Xuan Guan is located just behind the Lvye Hall, a small and exquisite independent courtyard, very quiet and elegant. Strolling in, the hall is casually decorated with several ancient artifacts, all of which are exquisitely simple and not overly luxurious. On the wall hangs a Tang Dynasty painting by Zhou Fang, "A Lady Holding a Flower". The brushstrokes are light, delicate and charming, with a gentle and harmonious atmosphere, full of ancient elegance. On the floor is a set of yellow rosewood carved cloud-patterned tables and chairs. In the left ear room, a row of bookshelves holds neatly bound and carefully selected ancient books, with a faint scent of ink wafting through the air.

  Cai Wei said with a smile, "Our prince said that the young lady likes to read books, so he specially instructed us to select the best books from his study and put them here for the young lady to relieve her boredom."

  I smiled faintly and said, "It's too much trouble for you, Your Majesty, I really can't accept this."

  She smiled and showed her white teeth, saying: "I've never seen the king so happy in the ten years I've been serving him. If Miss finds these books interesting and enjoyable, I'm afraid the king will be even more delighted."

  My fingertips lightly swept across the bright yellow pages of the book, and my heart was like those pages, originally calm as still water, but then someone's hand had carelessly and quickly swept across it, stirring up endless ripples that spread out layer by layer.

  I closed the book and said in a casual tone, "The king treats people with such sincerity. If someone can discuss poetry, books, and articles with him, he will regard you as a kindred spirit and treat you with utmost sincerity."

  She tilted her head to one side, pursed her lips and smiled: "Isn't that so? Just seeing a young lady like you, with such demeanor when interacting with people, makes one feel close and affectionate without realizing it. Not just the prince, even us servants, Ai Lan and I, think it's our good fortune to be able to serve you wholeheartedly."

  I couldn't help but smile at the corners of my mouth, pointing at her and Cai Lan: "No wonder your king is so fond of you and Cai Lan, taking you in as close attendants. You two are indeed clever, intelligent, and eloquent. With you two by his side, accompanying him day and night, I'm sure he can alleviate a lot of worries and enjoy a carefree life."

  The maid behind her hurriedly waved her hand and said, "Miss, you've misunderstood. Firstly, we're just serving the prince, no different from other maids, can't be considered 'personal attendants'. The prince's personal matters are all taken care of by Ah Jin, we can't do that. It's just that the prince thought we two aren't too clumsy, so he specially promoted us to serve you. Secondly..." She hesitated, her face flushing with a hint of shyness, and couldn't continue speaking.

  Finally, Cai Yun spoke quickly and softly: "Secondly, neither I nor Cai Lan are the king's concubines or favored maidservants, so..."

  So that's how it is! I originally knew it wasn't, just a joke earlier. But hearing them deny it in front of me, my heart actually felt a slight, imperceptible relief. Completely unaware that Huan Bi behind her had a relaxed and carefree expression on her face.

  But I fell into despair, even if I knew it wasn't his concubine, what was there for me to be happy about?

  I was just about to speak when I saw Huan Bi Man step forward, her face flushed with excitement. She took hold of both girls' hands and said warmly: "Our mistress was only joking just now. She thinks you two girls are not only beautiful but also have good tempers, and are very gentle and obedient. You are truly exceptional talents, and she loves you dearly in her heart. Thinking that with your looks and personalities, even if you may not become imperial consorts, you will certainly have a good position as a servant or maid. Who knows what the future holds? Perhaps one day we'll be congratulating you two girls on your good fortune. Not just our mistress, but I too, will eventually have to offer my congratulations to you both."

  After Xuan Qing sent over Cai Ping and Cai Lan to serve me, because the two of them were exceptionally beautiful and their attire was unusually bright and clean, not like ordinary servant girls at all. When Huan Bi interacted with them, she always kept a respectful distance, being somewhat cold and not very affectionate. Now, she actually took the initiative to approach them and talk to them, speaking so warmly and politely, it's truly rare. I also secretly found it strange.

  Cai Ping and Cai Lan knew that Huan Bi was my personal maid, who had grown up with me since childhood. Even Xuan Qing treated Huan Bi with a different attitude, so they were naturally very polite to her. Now seeing her being so affectionate, they naturally wanted to be even more courteous. Cai Ping hurriedly smiled and said: "Miss Huan Bi says this, but it's really going to kill me and Sister Cai Lan."

  "We have an unspoken rule at Qingliangtai. Because we, the servants here, are not comparable to the noble ladies selected from good families in the Qinghe Wangfu. We were all once destitute and adrift, our lives hanging by a thread, until the master saved us and brought us back to serve at Qingliangtai. In our eyes, the master is our great benefactor, we would never harbor any improper thoughts. Now we devote ourselves wholeheartedly to serving the master, and in the future, we will devote ourselves wholeheartedly to serving the master and the mistress." She looked at me and said: "The master regards Miss as a confidante, Miss must know that our master will not have concubines or side consorts. If there is one, it will only be one legitimate wife, the queen consort, isn't that so?"

  I nodded: "The king indeed said so. Among the three thousand weak waters in the world, he only took a scoop to drink."

  Lan Bi's eyes flickered slightly, and she quickly smiled as usual: "So, being able to serve by the prince's side for a lifetime is also a blessing that others can't cultivate."

  As soon as the blue and pink girls spoke, they naturally had a good conversation. The three of them chatted with each other, gradually becoming more familiar. I saw that they were having a lively discussion, so I didn't want to disturb them, and instead looked around the Xiao Xian Tang.

  Inside the Xuanxian Hall, there is a combined cabinet for storing ancient seals. Inside it are three to five boxes of fine seals, either made of chicken blood stone or celadon jade, neatly arranged in a row. On the shelf above, there are also some placed horizontally. In front of the window, a desk lies flat, with Xuanxian Hall paper scattered about casually, waiting for someone to take up their brush. There is also a purple sandalwood pen holder inlaid with jade, a set of celadon wash, inkstone and ink bed, all of which are elegant and exquisite playthings, refined and pleasant to behold. Under the south-facing long window, a Yangfei couch with a purple velvet cushion lies flat, its edges trimmed with dark green and black velvet. On either side of the couch, two pots of narcissus sit, emitting a delicate fragrance. The windows have uniform rain-washed sky blue gauze curtains, under which hangs a pot of wisteria, growing luxuriantly even in winter, with lush leaves. Nearby, a purple sandalwood carved flower table holds a set of celadon beauty seals, inside which are inserted several branches of red plum blossoms, like rouge dots. Another set is a green ground and pink glaze openwork chrysanthemum stone tea set. Next to the table lies an embroidery frame, with thousands of colors of silk thread all prepared, only waiting for someone to take up their needle and begin work.

  Behind a four-panel screen made of nanmu wood with cherry blossom-colored carved glass, there is a bed. The autumn water-colored familiar Luo bed curtain hangs down smoothly, vaguely revealing the faint patterns of peony flowers in spring sleep. The apricot red and golden heart-embroidered quilt, underneath which is a silver-gray mouse skin mattress, very soft and warm. On the surface of the green stone floor with lotus flower pattern, a smooth white powder wall was built, on which there were no paintings, only two Suzhou fine embroidery works hanging, one was a light green peony, and the other was a phoenix perched on a paulownia tree, each hung at the head of the bed.

  I closed my eyes and took a light sniff, smelling the sweet fragrance wafting in, filling my lungs, but saw that on the hooks of the bed curtains hung a pair of gilded silver censers, from which the fragrance was emanating, exactly the Bahe Xiang I had always been fond of.

  He arranged everything so meticulously, nothing was overlooked, it was truly a luxurious boudoir for a noble lady.

  This work is 1⑹ｋ net exclusive text version, without permission shall not be reproduced, excerpted. For more latest and fastest chapters, please visit ⑴⑹κ.！I saw the shadowy outside the window, and out of curiosity, I pushed it open to see a garden outside the window. The plants in the garden were not ordinary red plum blossoms or white plum blossoms, but green- flowered double-bi-colored weeping green plum blossoms. At this time, it was the season when plum blossoms were in full bloom, and the green plum blossoms in the garden were blooming vigorously, with layer upon layer of jade-like flowers on the branches, shining brightly like emeralds. Even the sunlight that shone through them had a light, transparent, green jade-like beauty, which was even more beautiful than the spring light. I stood there for a moment, unable to move my eyes away.

  Bianbi didn't know when he came in, and walked quietly to my side, saying softly: "Look at this house, the king must have spent a lot of effort. Not to mention anything else, but that one 'Hairpin Flower Lady Painting' is already a priceless treasure."

  I silently gaze at the lush green plum blossoms. If he truly knew that I met with Xuan Ling in the Mei Garden and deliberately avoided planting red and white plums for fear of hurting me, then he is indeed meticulous to a fault. Even if not, gathering so many green plums would be a feat of great difficulty.

  Lingbi's gaze was also attracted by the green plum blossoms, and she stared blankly for a moment before suddenly exclaiming with great joy: "Miss, look! Those plum blossoms are all blue!"

  I didn't bother to think why she was so happy, and just faintly murmured "uh-huh" as a response.

  Xuan Qing's words still lingered in her ears, "When I was in the palace, I had sincerely invited you to visit Qingliangtai for a small gathering, but you declined, saying that it was already late summer and Qingliangtai was too cool. However, what I have been longing for is that if there is an opportunity, I can make you come to Qingliangtai, which would be great." He said this with barely concealed joy and satisfaction.

  I also smiled: "The king had said that the Qingliang Pavilion was warm in winter and cool in summer. If one day I felt the cold unbearable, I could come to gather with him, and the king's small red clay stove would thaw the ice and frost for me. Although the king also hoped that there would never be such a day. And now, without regard for the snow and ice, sending charcoal in the snow, is the Clear River King who had made a promise of a thousand gold."

  He was also considerate and feared I would be uneasy, so he only let Cai Wei and Cai Lan accompany him to visit.

  I heard the footsteps quietly, but it was Cai Pu and Cai Lan who came in. The two looked at each other and smiled, saying: "The arrangement of Xiao Xian Guan, Miss, are you satisfied? If you're satisfied, you can move in today."

  Cai Ping said: "Xiao Xian Guan is the most exquisite house in Qingliang Tai, and it's also close to Wang Ye's Green Wild Hall."

  I hesitated slightly in my heart, and suddenly Biyu pulled my sleeve gently, whispering: "Miss, why don't we stay here?" She also said: "The scenery here is good, suitable for Miss to recuperate. And..." Her eyes lingered on the plum blossoms.

  I smiled and said: "Do you like plum blossoms?"

  She nodded slightly. As if this nod of hers had steadied my wavering heart, I said: "I like it here, so please trouble Cai Wei and Cai Lan to help me move my luggage over."

  Cai Ping and Cai Lanba couldn't help but cheer and happily left together.

  By that evening, I had moved into the Xiao Xian Guan. The room was elegant and refined, with warm and soft bedding, good ventilation, and bright lighting. As soon as I opened the window, I could smell the fragrance of the green plum blossoms filling the entire garden.

  After living with him for several days, she felt that he was thoughtful and considerate, and everything he thought of and did was appropriate.

  This morning, I got up with a headache and applied two pieces of medicinal plaster to my forehead. Cui Bi loved the green plum blossoms so much that she picked a few branches every day to put on her bedside table, and whenever she had some free time, she would lean over in front of the flowers, unable to tear her eyes away.

  The fragrance of the plum blossoms made me feel happy. I leaned against the bedding, smiling and looking at her: "It's rare to see you like a flower so much."

  She smiled slightly and said, "I am admiring the flowers, as well as appreciating your intentions, Your Highness."

  I lowered my head and stroked the corner of the bed, "This time I was ill, and there is this Xiao Xian Guan, the prince indeed spent a lot of thought."

  Miss, you think that the king is only concerned about you this time? In fact, as early as in the palace... She stopped abruptly.

  I interrupted her, saying quietly: "I know." How could I not know? It was he who covered for me when I secretly visited Mei Zhuang on my return, it was he who carefully arranged the lotus flowers on my birthday, and in those days of disappointment and despair, it was he who brought me comfort, and it was he who painstakingly consoled me.

  Adding flowers to brocade, sending charcoal in snowy weather, all are him.

  However, Fen Bi shook her head, "I'm not talking about the things that made Wang Ye happy with Miss." She slightly turned her head away, "Does Miss still remember that time when she had a miscarriage in Hua Fu Ren's Mao Xiu Palace?"

  The elegant and refined Lady Hua of the Miao Xiu Palace! My heart suddenly ached, as the past events and memories surged up, before my eyes instantly appeared that endless crimson, the bloody aura rushed up to my nostrils, and my mind was in a daze.

  How could I forget? He was my child, my first child, who lived in my womb for four months and was brutally torn out of my body in the Moyu Palace. The pain, the pain, his life slipping away with the blood flowing out of me, I will never be able to forget. If it weren't for that miscarriage, I'm afraid I would still be a pampered concubine in the palace, ignorant of the taste of bitterness and held in the palm of Xuan Ling's hand.

  The ups and downs of my life started from there too.

  I clenched my fists unconsciously. That miscarriage, I always thought it was Huafei, but unexpectedly it was Anling Rong... Anling Rong had already laid down the killing intent when she presented me with "Shuhen Gao". Such heavy and cunning killing intent, this child, is destined to be one that I cannot protect, and also my lifelong hidden pain.

  From then on, no one in Tongli Palace dared to mention this matter in front of me again.

  And suddenly, she brought it up so abruptly, so unexpectedly in front of me, mentioning my painful past. She said solemnly: "Miss, do you still remember that time? Who was it that saved you from the Moyu Palace..."

  Who is it? It's Xuan Qing.

  My heart skipped a beat, before the truth was revealed, in that instant when I lost consciousness, I thought it was Xuan Ling who came to save me, but unexpectedly it was Xuan Qing.

  At that time, the Huafei Murong Shilan was the daughter of the trusted minister of Runan King. She had always relied on Runan King and looked down on all the other consorts in the palace, not even putting the Empress in her eyes. And Xuanqing, because his birth mother and Runan King's birth mother were at odds before their death, Xuanqing was also resented by Runan King, who saw him as a thorn in the eye and a stab in the flesh, determined to get rid of him once and for all.

  In the imperial court of old, Prince Xun of Runan, Xuán Jì, held real power in his hands, led troops outside the pass, and had a certain reputation. His influence was so great that even Emperor Xuán Líng had to be cautious. As for Xuán Qīng, he was just an idle member of the imperial clan, with no power or influence, and could only spend his days indulging in poetry, books, zither, and chess to avoid being targeted.

  He rushed into the Hua Xiu Palace where the favored concubine lived to save me from danger that day, not only greatly offending the arrogant Consort Hua, but also directly conflicting with the party of Prince Yun Nan, which was vastly different from his usual style of hiding his light and being careless about everything.

  "Miss has never mentioned the matter in front of me, but now she says: 'On that day, Miss was forced to kneel in the Minghua Empress's palace, and even the respected Queen Mother who had the power to govern the six palaces couldn't save you. I knew something bad would happen. That day, Rong Yu accompanied Miss inside, naturally unable to escape, all the imperial consorts were also in the Minghua Empress's palace, the Emperor and Empress had gone out of the palace for a ceremony, the Queen Mother was bedridden with illness, too busy taking care of herself, how could she still care about Miss? It was truly a desperate situation. I, a humble servant, saw from afar that Miss was being tormented by the Minghua Empress to such an extent, and worried about the child in Miss's belly, yet there was no place where I could think of a way to save Miss, it was so urgent that I even thought of dying. However, who in the palace dared to offend the Minghua Empress?' " Fenbi paused for a moment before continuing: 'It just so happened that at that time, I ran into Ah Jin, and then remembered that the Sixth Prince had moved to the Jinyuelou Pavilion on the Taiye Pool to care for the Queen Mother's illness.'"

  Lingyue Kaiyun Hall was where Xuan Qing lived before he left the palace and established his own residence. He had never married, and was raised by the Empress Dowager, so he still kept a hall on Taiye Pool to live in, making it convenient for him to travel between the palace and the Wangfu, where he could accompany Xuan Ling in leisurely conversations about poetry and books, and also pay his respects to the Empress Dowager. Moreover, Lingyue Kaiyun Hall was built on the lake in the center of Taiye Pool, so even if the concubines and female attendants went boating or played, they wouldn't go that far, which was just as well for avoiding suspicion.

  "I had met Ah Jin before and knew he was one of the king's most trusted confidants, serving him closely, so I asked Ah Jin to take me to the Rongyue Kaiyun Pavilion to find the Sixth King and think of a way to rescue Miss.

  Huan Bi sank into her thoughts and said: "That was my first time going to the Rongyue Kaiyun Pavilion, outside the pavilion were countless shallow gold and pink honeysuckle flowers, when the wind blew it was like rain falling from the sky, if I wasn't in a hurry to rescue Miss, I would have been mesmerized by the sight. The king stood under that flower rain, writing stroke by stroke. I didn't know what he was writing, but when he saw me come, he knew something must be wrong. Because the king had once instructed me after Miss became pregnant, if Miss encountered any difficulties in the palace, I could go to the Rongyue Kaiyun Pavilion to find him, and if he wasn't there, Ah Jin would pass on the message to him.

  But that day, Ah Jin personally took me there, and I was so flustered, the king knew something big must have happened. So I cried, I knelt down and begged him, begging the king to go rescue Miss at the Miao Xiu Palace.

  She stared blankly ahead and said: "The king's face turned white as soon as he heard, without saying a word, he threw away his brush and paper, grabbed me and rushed towards the Miao Xiu Palace. Ah Jin was so anxious he almost went mad, desperately trying to hold back the king, begging him not to offend Huaihua Furen and Junan Wang. But the king's strength was too great, how could Ah Jin possibly hold him back? Not to mention Ah Jin, even the guards at the Miao Xiu Palace were intimidated, they couldn't stop us from entering.

  So we burst into the Miao Xiu Palace like that, the king being a man, bursting in so abruptly, all the concubines were frightened out of their wits, they all hid in the inner palace, even Huaihua Furen's face turned white with rage, she didn't care about appearances anymore, and argued with the king. Alas, Huaihua Furen had never considered anyone before, but she didn't think that the king would dare to burst in like this to rescue someone, did she still think he would put her in his eyes?"

  In the painful memories of that day, I only saw Xuan Qing having a face-to-face dispute with Murong Shilan for me, it was the first time I saw him so angry and flustered, his expression changed greatly. And Xuan Qing, has always been gentle and calm.

  "At that time, the young lady had lost a lot of blood, her entire skirt was red, and she had fainted. No matter how Shen's daughter called out to you, you wouldn't wake up. I was so scared that all I could do was cry. The king saw that no one else was helping, and he didn't care about the rules between men and women anymore, so he carried you back to the Tongli Palace.

  As Huàn Bì spoke, she became emotional and tears welled up in her eyes: "Right after that, Empress Jing also arrived. Seeing your lifeless state, she almost fainted too. She hastily called for the imperial physician. The king ordered Ah Jin to quickly go and ask the emperor to return, and he personally guarded outside the Tongli Palace to prevent Concubine Huá from taking advantage of the situation. He stayed there until the emperor returned."

  What happened later, she didn't continue, I knew it myself.

  My child, ultimately didn't make it.

  But my heart was deeply moved, surging like the tide, and for a moment I couldn't say a word. It turned out that he had been treating me like this, protecting me, and considering everything for me from an early age. I always thought I knew, but I knew so little, so fragmented, just the tip of the iceberg.

  "Everyone says that because you are the favored concubine, Guigui, and the emperor's most beloved, carrying the imperial heir, that's why the sixth prince is risking everything to rescue you, even if it means offending the empress, who has the support of the Yu'nan king."

  Fengbi gazed at me, her eyes deep as two pools of still water, dark and unfathomable, murmuring softly: "I also thought so until that day when I saw the prince shed tears for you with my own eyes. It was the first time I'd ever seen a man cry. Men don't easily shed tears, but that day in Maoshu Palace, I saw the prince's tears fall on your face, even though only I witnessed it. But miss, I understand everything now... The prince is heartbroken for you."

  "Guì Pín!..." These were the last words I heard before losing consciousness, spoken by someone holding me. The voice was filled with deep emotions, anxiety and restraint. I thought it was Xuán Líng, my husband, who was in pain for me, worried about me.

  The warmth of that tear, as if it was a scorching mark, only when I think of it, it burns faintly on my cheek. The trace of the tear has long since disappeared from my cheek. Only I understand how that intense temperature fell onto my heart, branding a deep and clear imprint.

  This is what pains my heart and brings tears to my eyes, it has also become the demon in my mind today, constantly attacking and entangling me, how can I resist?

  I'm just doing my best to fight back desperately.

  I remained silent, staring blankly at the intricately embroidered flowers on the brocade quilt, which were densely packed and connected in a joyful pattern, an imperial style. I knew that Xuan Qing had carefully ordered someone to change all the palace-style patterns, fearing they would evoke my old sorrows. Although this was his separate courtyard, the Clear and Cool Pavilion, far from the palace, had the atmosphere of the court truly disappeared?

  The fragrance that wafts up like smoke from the censer is the precious agarwood that only the imperial family can afford.

  And he was a person who had a thousand threads of connection with the palace, and his fate was tied to it.

  There was a moment of emptiness in my heart, and even I couldn't grasp it. The wind blew gently from under the window, like a gentle lady taking a stroll, carrying a cool meaning that caressed my cheek. In the instant when the wind lifted the embroidered silk flower curtain, the scenery outside the window dazzled me, making my eyes spin. For a moment, my thoughts surged, and I suddenly felt that I was also in love with him like this, but I must not let myself be in love with him like this. In such a fleeting moment, all the joys and sorrows, bitterness and sweetness, surprises and losses, and the deep longing of my girlhood rushed to my heart.

  In the early years, when I still had expectations and longings for love, I yearned for someone who would not be happy or worried about my appearance, nor care about my family background, but share similar interests with me, have mutual affection, and spend our lives together from dawn till dusk, guarding a myth of "longing for each other, watching over each other" until old age, wishing to "find a like-minded person, and not part ways even in white hair".

  However, there is now such a person in front of me, who meets all my initial and ultimate dreams about love. He understands me, cherishes me, and has a spiritual connection with me, matching my soul without minding the changes in my appearance.

  But I retreated, and was afraid.

  Time has passed us by from the very beginning. Can we still change now?

  I've thought countless times, if in the past I hadn't entered the palace and become Xuan Ling's concubine, perhaps I would have had a one-in-ten-thousand chance of meeting him, getting to know him, and loving him. This one-in-ten-thousand chance is far greater than it is now.

  But when I met him, he was already Xuan Ling's new favorite. I couldn't change anything, couldn't say or do anything. Facing his unintentionally revealed affection, I could only pretend to be ignorant and unaware, turn a deaf ear, and suppress my emotions with all my might.

  But now, I am clearly distinguished from him. Even if I was abandoned as a concubine, even if I no longer have the status of wife with Xuan Ling, I am still his former imperial sister-in-law. Moreover, he is still the proud son of heaven, shining brightly in the jade hall. And I, on the other hand, am a woman who has fallen from grace and is worn out, my family's fortunes dwindling. Faced with his unchanged and even more intense emotions, how can I not feel ashamed and humiliated in front of him?