Chapter Eleven: Peach Blossoms and Flowing Water Drift Away

  After returning from Mei Zhuang's place, I felt somewhat stifled all day. On that day, when I went to the Empress's palace to pay my respects, Mei Zhuang soon took her leave and retired early. Seeing her leave alone with a cold and indifferent expression, without even exchanging a word with me, I felt quite disappointed and empty inside.

  The queen saw the opportunity and said warmly: "Shen Ronghua has been like this to people recently, so you don't have to take it to heart, Guigui Pin."

  I forced a smile and said, "It's probably because of the weather, Mei sister's body hasn't been well lately, so she's been feeling a bit lazy."

  The queen smiled slightly and said, "Being affected by the weather is a small matter, it's just that women are delicate and need to take good care of themselves, otherwise they will end up like Consort Duan with serious illnesses."

  She didn't mention Empress Duanyi, but one day when she did, I suddenly remembered what Xuan Ling told me that day - that the medicine that caused Consort Hua's miscarriage was personally prescribed by the Empress. Consort Duan only bore the name in vain, and my heart couldn't help but skip a beat as I secretly felt a chill. The Empress had always been kind and generous, not cruel to the consorts or their children. Although after my miscarriage she merely stood by and watched, recommending Ling Rong to serve Xuan Ling, yet she didn't treat me poorly either.

  I pretended to lift my sleeve to drink tea, and slightly raised my eyes to peek at the empress. I saw that her ten slender fingers, like jade, were all dyed with cinnabar to a transparent rose color, extremely bright red, like the petals of a sword orchid. On the golden inlaid jade guard on the tip of her fingers was embedded a lustrous glass bead, which shone brightly as it moved slightly, like a rainbow flashing by.

  I closed my eyes, and wondered how such a delicate pair of hands could concoct that bowl of bitter medicine that would take the life of an innocent young soul. Although it was the child of the Empress, as the mother of the nation, to preserve her husband's throne, she personally did such a thing, what kind of love or cruelty is this?

  I am bewildered, if I were to put myself in her shoes, could I have brought myself to do it, adding a pinch of red flower or something else to the medicinal soup? And is this red flower the same color as the Empress's crimson fingernails at this moment?

  I was just lost in thought, the Empress said: "Why is the Honorable Concubine dazed? Don't worry about Shen Ronghua's body anymore. I heard that the peony flowers in your palace are blooming exceptionally well, today when all of you sisters have some free time, why not go to your palace and sit together?"

  I quickly regained my composure and smiled: "The Empress and all of you sisters are having a delightful time, aren't you, little sister?"

  A group of people walked in a line. The curtains in the palace were rolled up high, and the morning light was hazy and distant. In front of the Yingxin Hall, two trees of xifu rose bloomed profusely, covering the sky and the ground. The flowers were lush and the leaves were dense, with soft branches swaying gently. The bright red flowers were like rouge, and the fragrance wafted slowly from outside the hall, filling the room with a sweet and refreshing scent like fine wine and clear spring water, making one feel drunk with delight.

  The queen joined her hands and smiled, saying: "Haitang is a fine product among flowers, delicate but not coquettish, dignified but not stern. It's not like other flowers with improper appearance. The Tongli Palace of the noble concubine is indeed an excellent place."

  My cheeks are filled with a gentle smile, and I say to the Empress: "If it weren't for Her Majesty's guidance on that day, pointing out this Li Tang Palace to me, how would I have had such a beautiful view today? I should thank Her Majesty."

  The queen wore a dress of lake water color, embroidered with auspicious mountains and seas, dark flowers, and silk threads. A pair of golden phoenix hairpins with emerald inlays and pearls swayed back and forth, with large, luminous pearls hanging down from her fingers. She pointed at me with one hand, smiling: "Among the sisters in our palace, only you, my younger sister, speak words that are most pleasant to hear."

  Xin Gui Fei smiled and said, "Our Shu He Emperor's daughter is now five years old, with a mouth full of sugar that she won't let go of, but it's not as sweet as Guan Mei's mouth." Everyone burst out laughing at this.

  I smiled shyly and said, "Sister Xin loves to tease people when she speaks. I'm naturally straightforward, so even if I say something sweet, it's still the truth. If this truth is heard by someone with a kind heart, they'll feel comfortable. But if it's heard by someone with ulterior motives, they might secretly resent me. That's why I often offend people without realizing it."

  Jing Fei picked up a green plum and dipped it in rose syrup, smiling gently: "Sister Juan, you're speaking in circles again to flatter people."

  Ling Rong stood behind the Empress, bent a branch of hawthorn flowers to sniff lightly, and turned her head to say in a soft voice: "What sister says is like the green plum in Jing Fei's hand. The one who likes it will say it's sweet, and the one who doesn't like it will feel sour. It's just everyone's thoughts."

  I nodded firmly, my gaze fixed on her: "An said it well, everyone has their own thoughts."

  Her smile was slightly awkward, and she picked up a cherry from the plate and ate it, saying: "It's so sweet." I blinked my eyes slightly, looking at her but not speaking.

  Tongli Palace was a bit small after all, and I didn't deliberately repair it after being promoted to Guifei. I just changed the name of "Yingxintang" to a temple name. At this time, the empress dowager brought four or five concubines, and a group of palace maids stood in front of the temple, with their hairpins and hairpins fluttering in the wind, and ordered the young palace girls to play shuttlecocks in the courtyard. The sound of laughter and chatter continued uninterrupted for a while.

  Just as things were getting lively, a loud wail was suddenly heard from outside. The palace maids and eunuchs who had been standing guard outside all started making a commotion at once. The empress's brow furrowed slightly, and I suppressed my displeasure, asking Xi Ze quietly: "What's going on?"

  The words had hardly left his lips when a man rushed in from outside the gate. I immediately shouted: "Who is so rude! Why didn't you stop him outside? Don't you know that Her Majesty the Empress is here?"

  That person rushed to the front of my eyes, raised his head and took a look, it was actually sister-in-law Xue Qiantao. She cried out: "Guibin Niangniang——" The whole person was prostrate on the ground.

  I was both angry and anxious, and my heart ached as I helped the others support my sister-in-law to her feet. "With Her Majesty the Empress and several noble ladies present," I said, "can't you discuss things calmly? What kind of behavior is this?"

  "The queen hastily said: 'What's going on with someone who is pregnant?!'"

  Sister-in-law was helped up by someone, and I finally saw her appearance clearly. Her face was covered with dust and dirt, and she had been crying so much that her eyes were red and swollen like a child's. A loose, crumpled outer robe revealed her four-month pregnancy at a glance. Her hair was disheveled and scattered behind her back, although it was messy and unkempt, but her eyes still shone brightly with spirit, and her dignified demeanor had not yet dissipated. When she saw the Empress and several concubines present, she hastily smoothed out her clothes, stepped back a pace, and curtsied. However, as soon as she saw me, tears rolled down her eyes, and she sobbed uncontrollably, crying: "Your Majesty! Please take charge of my case!"

  I advised: "Sister, just say what you have to say, why come here?" Then I ordered the eunuch to personally arrange for her to sit down. I asked: "What is it after all? The Empress is here, sister, just speak up and I will definitely take care of it for you."

  Sister-in-law cried out loud and said: "Husband wants to divorce me!"

  Divorcing one's wife is a major matter. Especially in the families of officials and aristocrats, it is not permissible to divorce one's wife simply based on the "seven outs" clause; it must be approved by the ancestors' temple and jointly decided by the clan members.

  I was startled and exchanged a glance with the empress, hastily asking: "What is the reason for this?"

  Sister-in-law was speechless for a moment, but stuttered and couldn't say anything. The maid who came in with her said: "I heard that the other side is also pregnant for a month, and the young master has been shouting to take... that woman as a concubine into the mansion. Although the young madam was angry, she went to see her and sent some supplements because she was carrying the young master's child. Who knew that the woman was very arrogant and extremely disrespectful to the young madam? The young madam pushed her in anger, and at that time, she was still clear-headed and sarcastic towards the young madam. But today, early in the morning, she suddenly made a fuss saying that the young madam pushed her and had a miscarriage. The young master was furious and immediately issued a divorce letter to divorce the young madam.

  Sister-in-law burst into tears, and when she wiped her eyes with her hand, her sleeve slipped down to reveal several dark purple scars. I have sharp eyes, so I quickly rolled up sister-in-law's sleeve and pulled her hand in front of me, saying: "What's going on here?"

  Sister saw that she couldn't hide it anymore, and sobbed: "Because I refused, husband even used force."

  Xin Gui Fei suddenly interjected, "Hey! What kind of man is this? He's already resorting to violence? Who knows how that child fell, and besides, it's just a worthless brat. Madame Zhen still has her dignity."

  The queen glanced at her and said with a smile: "Xin Guifei is impulsive, but there's some truth to what she says. How that child was lost is still unknown, so how can we hastily divorce? Besides, the child that woman had was Master Zhen's, are you saying the one in your belly isn't? This is a bit too rash."

  Ling Rong listened silently for a long time before saying, "Surely Lord Zhen would not stoop so low."

  Ling Rong finished speaking, and Xiao Lianzi came in from outside and said: "I have come to report to all the ladies. The guard outside says that Zhen has arrived and is urgently requesting an audience."

  The queen said: "Which one is Lord Zhen?"

  Xiao Lianzi said: "It is our princess's older brother, Zhen Gong."

  Sister-in-law subconsciously shrunk her body and begged: "Your Majesty, look, he has also chased into the palace, I'm afraid it's inevitable that I'll be divorced!"

  I heard that my brother had arrived, and I couldn't help but frown, saying: "This foolish person has been deceived to such an extent! Can the palace also be a place for him to act wildly? Don't worry, sister-in-law. He came at just the right time, let me show you how I will make things clear for him." I turned to the Empress and said: "Your Majesty is the mistress of the harem, since this matter has been stirred up here, it's no longer a private affair of mine alone. I only ask that Your Majesty take pity on me and preside over justice for me and my sister-in-law."

  The empress hesitated and said, "Since it has reached this point, the palace cannot turn a blind eye. Go and invite Lord Zhen to come in." After thinking for a moment, she added another sentence, "And have all the soldiers disarm."

  Xiao Lianzi left with her hands hanging down. Jing Fei pulled the sleeves of Xin Gui Bin and Ling Rong, and respectfully said: "We concubines should not meet outsiders without reason, let's retreat to the inner hall first."

  The queen nodded and said, "Alright. Go inside and take a break." I then let Huibi lead the three of them into the inner hall to rest, their palace maids following behind.

  Sister-in-law saw her brother storming in, took a few steps back, and then performed the courtesy of a wife seeing her husband. But brother turned his head and ignored her, only bowing to the empress and me.

  The queen frowned at this, and for a moment did not speak out, only declaring to her brother to sit down. I couldn't help but say with some anger: "Sister-in-law has your brother's flesh and blood in her belly, is this how you treat her in front of people? The situation behind closed doors can be imagined."

  "Brother, if you don't know then it's fine, but as soon as you do, you immediately change color and say: 'The princess is my own sister, why are you always biased towards others?! The child in Madame Xue's womb is my own flesh and blood, isn't the child who died in Jiayi's womb also my own child?!'"

  I was pampered since childhood, and after entering the palace, there were also a few more courteous interactions between siblings. How could I have been confronted by my brother like this? Suddenly, I became angry and said: "Brother says that sister-in-law is an outsider? Sister-in-law is the daughter-in-law of the Zhen family, your wife who shares the same hairpin, how can you say she's an outsider? So, in brother's eyes, only that courtesan is the one he cannot put down for a moment?" I suppressed my anger and said: "Moreover, it's not clear how this child was lost. Sister-in-law has never committed a great fault, and she's also pregnant, can brother bear to drive her out of the house and make her an abandoned woman?"

  "Brother took a step forward, calmly pulled out a snow-white paper from his bosom and threw it in front of his sister-in-law: 'This is the divorce letter! Take it and leave immediately. How dare you harm my beloved concubine and child? I don't want to see this venomous woman again!'"

  The muscles on the queen's face twitched, and she coughed solemnly: "In front of this palace and the noble concubine, Lord Zhen should also be mindful of his words. He shouldn't lose his dignity as a subject."

  "Brother bowed and said: 'Yes. I will remember the teachings of Her Majesty the Empress.'"

  Sister covered her face and wept, sobbing uncontrollably, collapsing to the ground. Suddenly she turned around, intending to crash into that thick-trunked sea buckthorn tree. Just as it seemed like a bloody tragedy was about to unfold before my eyes, I was shocked pale. Luckily, Little Lianzi reacted swiftly, blocking her path in front of the tree, and Sister narrowly escaped disaster.

  Although the elder brother was also somewhat afraid, he hesitated for a moment, and his disgust was immediately revealed. He shook his sleeves disdainfully and said, "One cry, two make a scene, three hang oneself, truly an ignorant woman! Vulgar and detestable to the extreme!"

  "In such a situation, I was even more furious: 'In the five generations of my family, we have never heard of divorcing a wife. Does my brother want to make a big deal out of this and cause someone's death? How are we going to explain this to the Emperor and our relatives, the Xue family?'"

  The elder brother coldly glanced at his sister-in-law and said: "Such a cheap person killed my flesh and blood, I will never live with her again!"

  I was so angry that I couldn't speak, the queen consoled me with great effort, my sister-in-law rushed over and cried, everyone hurried to pull her away, and finally managed to persuade her to calm down. For a moment, the scene was chaotic, I said: "This is outrageous! We're in the palace, in front of the queen, making a racket like a village woman, what does this mean for me!"

  At this moment, Ling Rong suddenly flashed out from behind the curtain and came out of the inner hall. Ling Rong pushed through the crowd to help up her sister-in-law, saying gently: "Young Madam must not be too heartbroken, after all, there is the Empress and the Noble Consort to take charge. Young Madam has forgotten everything else, but you must also consider the child in your belly. For my sake, I endured ten months of hardship, can it all be ruined in one morning? Besides, if Young Madam dies, then Lord Zhen's reputation for a lifetime will be gone too. Young Madam must not take her own life lightly." As she spoke, she looked up at her brother.

  "Brother's eyes slightly dodged, avoiding looking at her, only saying: 'Xiao Yu, young master is well.'"

  Sister saw Ling Rong, and she couldn't help but pause for a moment. The maid beside her had already exclaimed in surprise, "This young master really looks like that Jia Yi girl!" As soon as the words fell, Ling Rong also froze.

  Sister was taken aback, and immediately shouted sternly: "Don't dare to speak nonsense and offend the young master." As she spoke, she slightly stopped crying, and choked with sobs: "The slave girl doesn't understand etiquette, and has called the young master to scold her."

  Ling Rong smiled slightly and shook her head, using her own handkerchief to wipe away the tears on her sister-in-law's face. "It doesn't matter," she said. "But please, Second Mistress, come with me to freshen up inside. This way, we won't be laughed at by the servants." I nodded slightly, and my sister-in-law followed her in.

  Ling Rong walked a few steps, then turned back to her brother and said: "Although I haven't seen the beautiful Jiayi girl you mentioned, with your eyes, she must be a stunning beauty. But I'd like to offer some advice: although new loves are great, don't forget about old ones, okay? Have you completely forgotten about our past feelings?"

  The elder brother's expression was somewhat moved, and for a moment he had no words to respond, standing there in silence. Ling Rong also didn't say much more, only supporting his sister-in-law as she slowly went back inside.

  "For a moment, the scene was quiet. I advised him in good faith: 'Brother, you should have been convinced by An Xiaoyuan's words. I'd like to advise you that this child's situation is still unknown. You and she have only been together for two months, how could you suddenly become pregnant and then suddenly not? Isn't there some trickery involved? Sister-in-law has always been virtuous, if you want to take a concubine, she won't oppose it, but you should properly marry a good woman from a respectable family. At least wait until sister-in-law gives birth and comes out of confinement before doing so. What kind of decency is this, making such a big fuss over a lowly-born, door-to-door laughing flower girl?"

  "Brother listened quietly at first, but gradually a resentful expression emerged. He said stiffly: 'If the noble lady wants to protect Madame Xue, that's fine, but why must she target Jiayi with every sentence? Everyone thinks Jiayi is of humble origin, but I think her kindness and gentleness are enough. The noble lady speaks so harshly to those she dislikes, I dare not listen.'"

  "I was attending to the empress by my side, and softened my tone: 'So brother listened to rumors and wanted to divorce his wife, I wouldn't dare listen even more. Since brother said Jia Yi is a kind and honest person, then ask if a kind and honest person should be obedient to the legitimate wife, how can they stir up discord between father and son, husband and wife?' The more I spoke, the more indignant my tone became, and I reddened with tears: 'I see that brother seems to be coming at me, is it because brother has been resentful of sister-in-law all these years for not being to your liking? And now you want to vent your anger through this matter today.' As I spoke, I felt a pang in my heart and couldn't help but sob."

  The queen saw me being sad, and quickly pulled me down to whisper: "Look at you, always doing things like this, not advising others but instead making yourself cry, how can you advise others?" Then she turned around to scold my brother: "Although Lord Zhen is your elder brother, he is also a subject, how can he be so rude and overstep his bounds in front of the noble concubine, forgetting the etiquette between ruler and minister!"

  "Since the noble lady has spoken out, I no longer need to conceal it. In the past, you insisted on choosing a wife from a prestigious family for me, but disregarded that I had never met Miss Xue before hastily arranging our engagement, resulting in today's disaster. I have endured until now, and absolutely cannot cohabitate with Miss Xue again. I hope Your Majesty will clearly see this."

  In the cold and desolate atmosphere, only the sound of a tea cup shattering on the floor could be heard. Sister-in-law emerged with an icy expression, her face pale as paper. She clapped her hands and said: "Good, good! Today you finally spoke out. It turns out that after all these years of marriage, you've always had reservations about me in your heart. I, Xue Qiantao, have been diligent in my wifely duties and filial piety since our wedding day. Now that you've made it clear that you never had me in your heart, continuing our marriage would be pointless. No need for a divorce letter - Zhēn Háng! From now on, I'm cutting ties with you!"

  Sister-in-law's complexion was as pale as paper, her tall and slender figure standing upright, with a hint of pitifulness that couldn't be erased. I felt heartbroken just looking at her, so I grasped her hand and said: "I can do without an unfeeling brother, but I cannot do without a sister-in-law with whom I share deep emotional bonds. Since you have severed ties with him, I too will no longer associate with such a brother." I wiped away my tears and pointed to the palace gate: "Lord Zhen will one day be abandoned by all; I don't want to see you again, our sibling bond ends today. Lord, please leave."

  Everyone saw this scene and was so frightened that they didn't dare to speak. The empress said, "Zhen's adult is confused, and you, Gui Fei, are also confused. How can you say such things? Family ties and relationships, should they be ruined for the sake of a single woman?"

  The elder brother was silent for a moment, his eyes filled with heavy coldness and distance. He straightened his sleeves, bowed steadily and said: "It doesn't matter if everyone is estranged from me, I only need Jia Yi. I bid farewell." Without looking back, he walked out of the Tongli Palace with large strides.

  I wept and wailed: "Your Majesty can hear his words, I have no elder brother from now on!" After speaking, I turned my head sadly and hugged my sister-in-law, crying bitterly. The Empress, Jingfei, and Xingui Pin were all sighing endlessly. Ling Rong stood by my side, but her face was calm and silent as water.

  After my brother made a fuss and left, I got annoyed and caught a cold. It was the end of spring and the beginning of summer, and the weather was changing back and forth, so this cold took a long time to recover from. Even eating lots of candied pears or red sugar stewed with loquat leaves didn't seem to do much good. By May, I had changed into lighter bedding, but I still couldn't shake off the coughing and wasn't feeling much better.

  When Wen Shi first came to take my pulse, she only said: "Your body is fine, just take good care of yourself."

  "I said, 'It's just a bit dizzy, the medicine you prescribed for me is really bitter and hard to swallow. It's not as good as eating sweet things like ice sugar pear or red sugar stewed pomegranate leaves.'"

  "He smiled: 'Then let's change to taking pills.'"

  I gently waved my fan and said, "I don't know if it's because of the hot weather, but everything I eat seems to have no flavor."

  "Her Ladyship has always had a problem with summer heat, and on top of that, she's been eating all sorts of delicacies every day, so I suppose her stomach is fed up."

  I couldn't help but laugh: "Yes, every day's greasy chicken and duck, occasionally thinking of something light, must come up with some 'vegetarian chicken', 'vegetarian duck' greasy name, just listening to it makes me nauseous."

  Wen Shi said, "Let's have some appetizing cold dishes." He couldn't help but joke: "If Your Majesty doesn't mind the acidity, let's eat human flesh as a medicine guide. It will surely cure all diseases."

  This was said in jest, but the green silk soft screen moved, and Ling Rong had already entered. She smiled and said: "Doctor Wen is here, so sister's illness should be cured."

  I invited her to sit down and asked Wen Shi Chu: "How has Elder Sister Mei's body been lately?"

  Wen Shi initially used a soft cloth to wipe the silver needle and said, "Recently, Master Ronghua's body has not been bad, so I haven't gone to take his pulse frequently."

  I gave him a glance: "This is good, thank you, Lord Wen."

  Ling Rongfang said, "I heard that my sister's stomach hasn't been feeling well lately, so I specially prepared some light dishes. Sister, please try some." As she spoke, she took out from the food box and arranged: a plate of stir-fried water chestnuts, a plate of tender bamboo shoots marinated in salty meat sauce, a plate of tofu cubes mixed with fragrant oil and scallions, and a bowl of shepherd's purse wontons, accompanied by a bowl of Yu Tian Xiang rice porridge.

  I didn't want to push her away, but seeing her enthusiastic expression, I patiently tried a bit of each dish, and indeed they were refreshing and easy to digest. So I said, "An's culinary skills are really good."

  Ling Rong carefully watched me eat each dish, seeing me smile in satisfaction, and then said: "These are all the freshest vegetables from Jiangnan in March and April. The weather here is a bit cold, just right for the season. I thought that since sister had caught a chill, she wouldn't like greasy food, but fortunately, sister still wants to eat these. As long as you have an appetite, the illness will get better quickly."

  I smiled meaningfully: "Indeed, the flavor is exceptionally good, and I'm sure the Emperor will also like it. It's only fitting that we don't disappoint your culinary skills."

  Ling Rong seemed to not understand, and blushed as she said: "Sister, are you making fun of me? This is specially prepared for sister with all my heart."

  I just smiled and changed the subject.

  When I have nothing to do, I play with the strings myself. The sound of "Longing for Each Other" floats in, and what instantly comes to mind is the sound of the guqin and sheng under the moon that day, and even the moonlight in memory is also floating.

  He said that Qing Yu was his confidante; he said that being considerate of others is for you and also for me; in his eyes, there was a faint melancholy and deep concern.

  In such a melancholy mood, the gradually warming weather seems to still be in the midst of that deep autumn atmosphere, the osmanthus flowers quietly falling one by one silently onto my lapels, even the seven-stringed zither has begun to evoke the chill of wind and frost.

  Thinking like this, she was also startled, and suddenly heard the maid come in, with a worried expression saying: "The news from the mansion is that Young Madam went back to her parents' home and never came back, and Young Master has been out every day and hasn't returned to the mansion. The old master and mistress are both furious." She paused for a moment, then said: "The old master has already declared that he doesn't want this son anymore."

  My heart skipped a beat, my face turned gloomy, and I said: "Huan Bi, take a look. The two younger sisters are still young and don't understand things. As the only son in the family, brother is so disappointing. What can be done about it? We two are in the palace, but we can't even help with half of the work."

  Miss, don't be angry. Wait for the old master to calm down and come around, it will be fine. One day when the young master comes to his senses, he can go pick up the young madam again, and won't they be a happy family then? Her face showed some fear as she said: "Thinking back to that day in our palace, Miss and the young madam and young master had such a falling out, it's still frightening to think about."

  I shook my head repeatedly: "Good things don't go out the door, bad things spread for a thousand miles. This kind of thing can't be hidden anywhere, I heard the Emperor say that outside is also making a big fuss, the whole city is in an uproar, and everyone is laughing at our family, the Zhens."

  She pursed her lips and said in a low voice: "It's also been circulating in the palace that it's not decent, I'm afraid Huafeng is so pleased to death."

  I didn't say a word, only saying: "I'm tired." Then my gaze was fixed on the strings, and I felt some inexplicable fear again, so I said: "These days I don't like playing the piano, just put it away."

  After a sweet nap, I woke up with a lingering sense of fatigue and weakness. The newly changed bed curtains hung down in folds, as if someone was standing in front of the bed. In my daze, I only caught a whiff of a strange medicinal scent, which had a faint smell of blood mixed with the bitter and pungent aroma of herbs, creating an indescribably weird and wonderful sensation.

  "What's being stewed in medicine?"

  But it was Ling Rong's voice that sounded warm and gentle, lifting the curtain and saying, "Sister, are you awake?"

  I was slightly surprised and asked: "Are you decocting medicine?"

  Ling Rong smiled lightly and said, "It's the medicine that my sister brewed in her own palace, brought here to warm up for you." Her smile was somewhat forced. "The prescription given by Imperial Physician Wen, if you drink it, you will recover quickly."

  I said in confusion: "Dr. Wen didn't give me a new prescription, where did you get the medicine from, sister?"

  She got up and picked up the purple sand medicine pot, poured out a bowl of thick black medicine liquid, walked to my side and sat down, and begged: "Sister, drink it."

  The medicine was approaching, and that pungent smell became even stronger. I was shocked and uncertain, saying: "What kind of medicine is this?"

  Ling Rong carefully took a small sip and said: "Sister, don't be afraid, I've already drunk it, nothing's wrong."

  I didn't understand her intention, but just stared at her, and she smiled sweetly, saying: "Sister, don't you believe me?" She raised her hand, and a thick circle of snow-white gauze appeared under the thin fabric of her sleeve.

  I didn't even have time to take my medicine, I grasped her arm and asked: "What's going on?"

  Ling Rong hastily pulled up her sleeve to cover it and said, "It's nothing, I just accidentally hurt myself."

  I didn't let go, grasping her arm tightly. The gauze wrapped around it was thick and dense, but bloodstains still seeped through. I was shocked and puzzled in my heart: "Your hand..." I hesitated, casting my gaze at that bowl of dark medicine.

  Ling Rong slowly fell to tears: "Yes. That day I came in just in time to hear Dr. Wen say that using human flesh as medicine could cure my sister's illness, so I tried my best. I hope my sister can be cured."

  I was shocked and stunned, also moved, and unknowingly moistened my eyes: "You're crazy - that's just a joke from Dr. Wen Tai, how can you take it seriously? Besides, I'm not seriously ill, I'll be fine after some time."

  Ling Rong shook her head and said, "I don't care, as long as my sister is well, that's all that matters." Ling Rong's tears fell one by one onto her skirt, forming small wet circles. She said, "Since you regained the emperor's favor, I've felt a distance growing between us. Is it because the emperor also favors me?" Her attitude was firm and resolute: "As a younger sister in the palace with no one to rely on, I only have my sister and the emperor. If the emperor's favor causes you to become distant, I would rather give up his favor for my sister."

  My heart stirred slightly, and I didn't forget what had happened before. I just sighed and said, "Ling Rong, that's not what I meant, it's just..."

  Ling Rong didn't let me continue, her sorrowful voice stopped me: "Sister, Mei sister has already become estranged from us, are you also going to become estranged from me? The three of us entered the palace together, although I may not be able to compare with Mei sister and your deep affection for each other since childhood, but those days we spent together in the Zhen manor, little sister has never forgotten a single day."

  Ling Rong's words stirred my heart. The days in the Zhen Mansion, that was a long time ago. Ling Rong lived with me, sharing joys and sorrows, never leaving my side for a moment, even taking turns wearing a jade hairpin. Such intimacy. The years in the palace wore away so many things, even Mei Zhuang became unfamiliar. My only remaining acquaintance from afar is now only Ling Rong.

  Am I really going to be separated from her?

  I grasped her hand and looked at it repeatedly, saying: "Even if you are wholeheartedly for me, why must you cut your flesh to make medicine and harm your body?"

  Her face wore a smile, but the trail of tears that had fallen was twisted and sparkling, making one's eyes ache with sorrow. She said, word by word, with great effort: "Because you are not only my only reliable sister in the palace, but also the younger sister of the person I think about day and night."

  I was shocked beyond words, my heart pounding violently. All the secret guesses and fears of these days, all the reminders and warnings that had been lurking in every step, were suddenly revealed to me by her, as if I was still dreaming and dared not believe it.

  I hastily covered her mouth and looked around, saying: "Are you trying to get yourself killed? Can this be said casually?"

  Her smile was mournful, that deep sorrow seemed to be dampened by the dew on the white feathers of a bird's wings, and she couldn't lift it up. She said slowly: "Once I entered the palace, my life was no longer mine." She looked at me with a sad gaze: "I knew from the beginning that I wasn't worthy, and the deep palace was lonely, but it was just my foolish fantasy. Originally, Master Zhen and Young Madam were of equal social status, they should have been harmonious, and I was happy for them. But now it's become like this..."

  Her words kept pounding in my heart, infatuated - the memories I had when playing "Longing for You" were also my infatuation, weren't they? Frightening and yet not supposed to be infatuations, apart from Xuan Ling, I shouldn't have thought of any other man.

  I was lost in thought for a moment, then sighed and said: "We are all the emperor's women. We were born to be the emperor's, and we will die as the emperor's."

  "Life is his, death is also his......" She stared blankly ahead, clutching the handkerchief in her hand tightly: "Then whose heart... is mine?"

  I shook my head dazedly: "Heart? That's not ours either."

  Ling Rong looked at me and said quietly, "Yes. Everything belongs to the Emperor, including one's heart. Then I'll leave out a little bit of my heart, so that sometimes I can think about the people and things worth thinking about."

  She was so sincere to her brother, just like the silent and lonely gaze on the eve of entering the palace. Under the clear and cold moonlight, she stood alone under her brother's window, gazing at his figure. I couldn't bear to listen anymore, pulled her back and said: "Pour out the medicine, I won't drink your blood and flesh to cure my illness."

  Her expression was as if she hadn't heard, her eyes fixed only on me. "Sister, I won't harm you. Because you're his sister, and also the only one willing to help me. Sister, you have to believe me - in this palace, it's just us sisters."

  Indeed, I was moved. Although I had suspected her, the sincerity she showed towards my brother is something I couldn't ignore. The doubts and shadows that had lingered in my mind gradually dissipated with her sincere words. What does it matter whether one is favored or not? Myself and Ling Rong are just two women trapped in this deep palace, unable to control our own fates.

  We don't have a body, and we can't fully keep our own heart. The only remaining bit is tied to too many emotions, things, and people. Those that should be tied, those that shouldn't be tied, so many.

  All we can strive for is that little bit of imperial favor that can be easily dispersed. In order to survive, we cannot but fight and seize. The only difference between us is this physical shell that will soon wither away. Beauty fades with the passing of time, and before old age arrives, love has already been severed. Perhaps our later years will also be filled with desolation. When the time comes for us to huddle around the stove at night, shoulder to shoulder, it won't just be our youthful selves, but also our aged and helpless selves.

  In this way, can I still harbor resentment towards her? Because of her infatuation with my brother, I have also let go of some of it.