Nineteenth: The king's heart gives rise to midnight resentment and hatred

  The Zhaoyang Hall is deep and secluded, yet vast and expansive.

  I stood upright with my hands hanging down, half a stick of incense time had passed, but neither Xuan Ling nor the Empress came out, and there was no movement or noise.

  Cutting off her thoughts, Qiu Wan came out from behind the palace with a smile and bowed respectfully: "I'm sorry to have kept you waiting for so long, Concubine Zhao. The Empress Dowager had an attack of migraine just now and is feeling unwell. At present, His Majesty is accompanying Her Majesty in taking medicine, and will come out soon. Please wait a little longer, Concubine Zhao."

  I smiled and said: "Thanks for telling me, how is Her Majesty the Empress now?"

  Qianqiu smiled and said: "The Empress Dowager's old illness has recurred, she'll be fine after taking her medicine."

  I hastily said: "So be it, I hope Your Ladyship's body is safe and sound."

  Qianqiu smiled and said: "I just said, Princess Zhao is the one who cares about our Empress most."

  The hall was quiet and still, except for the eunuchs and palace maids waiting outside with their hands clasped together in respect, I was the only one left.

  A very strange feeling, with a hint of disorder, only belongs to the empress's Zhaoyang Hall, at this moment I am standing quietly alone. Strange silence.

  Outside the window is snow, and the purple city of Ao, which has not yet melted, appears exceptionally empty and quiet. The queen's palace usually does not burn incense, but today it used the Shui Xiang incense that is only used on grand occasions. The sweet and bitter fragrance fills the hall, making people feel solemn and dignified.

  It seemed there were footsteps, and someone called out to me in a low voice: "Guan Guan." I turned my head, but it was Xuan Ling. The temple used a lot of crimson and lake blue curtains, and the bright yellow robe he wore made him even more eye-catching.

  "Your Majesty..." I softly called out to him.

  The distance was far, and the light in the hall wasn't very bright. The incense smoke curled up and lingered inside the temple. Through this wisp of white smoke, I couldn't see his expression clearly. All I could hear was that his voice was somewhat vague, "Why don't you call me Fourth Brother anymore?"

  Fourth brother? I'm a bit shy, and also somewhat surprised. In the imperial concubine's palace, although there are no outsiders, it's still not good, is it? However, he continues to ask, with an emphasis on addressing me as "I".

  That was the second time I heard him refer to himself like that.

  "Fourth Brother, I am here."

  He murmured and took a step forward, still hesitating: "Guan Guan?"

  My heart suddenly skipped a beat, but I still replied in an extremely gentle tone, "It's me."

  He rushed towards me, his hurried footsteps filled with unending joy. The eight trees hairpin and jade worn during the imperial concubine's enthronement ceremony were densely packed, the delicate tassels covering half of my face, weighing down on my head. He tightly wrapped his arms around me, as if he had regained a treasured possession that had been lost for a long time, calling out: "Guan Guan, you've finally returned——"

  His words were so affectionate. My heart suddenly sank to the bottom, being tightly hugged by him, but a chill rose from my feet, was the person he was hugging me? Wanwan? This name that didn't belong to me.

  I couldn't move, he held me tightly, almost to the point where I couldn't breathe, my ribs aching with a dull pain. Such bewilderment made me deeply uneasy, I held my breath and spat out word by word: "Your subject Zhen Huan pays her respects to Your Majesty."

  He seemed not to have heard clearly, his body stiffened, and he slowly let go of me. He looked at me with some effort, his eyes were a bit strange, and after a moment, he said indifferently: "It's you."

  I was so shocked that I almost bit my own tongue. His expression made me shiver, as if a basin of icy snow had been poured over my head, and my bones were chilled to the core. With great effort, I managed to kneel down and said softly: "Your humble servant greets Your Majesty."

  His gaze was somewhat distant, and soon fell on me again, wandering over my clothes. Suddenly, he pulled me up, a fierce anger flashing in his eyes, his tone already questioning: "Where did this dress come from?"

  I was terrified, just waiting for an explanation, when he grabbed my arm with increasing force, the pain made me break out in a cold sweat and I couldn't speak. I held my breath as hard as I could and managed to stammer out one sentence, "Your servant didn't..." He flung me away from him, throwing me to the ground, and let out a cold snort.

  The queen inside heard the noise and hastily supported Qiu's hand to come out, seeing such a scene, "Ah" and leaned towards Qiu who was supporting her.

  Xuan Ling was shocked and didn't care about me, hurriedly went to support the Empress and said: "What's wrong with Your Majesty?"

  The queen did not faint, but rubbed her temples with her hand and said laboriously: "I have a bit of a headache."

  Qiu Ming hurriedly poured in hot water and came in. The empress did not drink, but turned her head to look around for someone, asking: "Where is Hua Chun?"

  The Empress's face turned pale as she saw her, one hand pointing at me and the other slapping the chair, saying to Hua Chun: "Look at her, what is going on?"

  Hui Chun was shocked and immediately knelt down, crying: "A few days ago, the empress organized the old clothes of Empress Yuan, and found that two pearls were missing from this dragon robe, and the silk thread was loose. She asked me to take it to the Nei Wu Fu for repair. I originally thought I would pick it up when I had time, but who knew these past two days have been busy and I forgot. I don't know how it ended up on Concubine Shao's body." She was so scared that she forgot to cry, and frantically knocked her head: "Please forgive me, Your Majesty!"

  My mind went blank with a loud crash, leaving only a vast emptiness. I had mistakenly put on the former Empress Yuan's old clothes, what was I to do?

  The queen was both angry and anxious, her anger irrepressible, panting as she said: "Nonsense! I entrusted you to take extra care of the late emperor's things, but you all took it as mere hearsay? Others might be let off, but precisely...

  Xuan Ling's eyes were slightly dazed, "This is what she wore when she first met me."

  The empress's gaze was like a flame that jumped up, and she stared at Xuan Ling for a long time: "Your Majesty still remembers when my sister came to the palace to see me."

  Xuan Ling murmured a soft "hmm" and said, "Of course, it's unforgettable."

  They said so, leaving only me on the side, like a discarded and forgotten person, watching them alone. Gently? I sneered coldly in my heart, even more sorrowful, gently, it turned out to be others!

  He glared at me with an unfamiliar and icy tone, briefly spitting out three words: "Take it off!"

  I was momentarily embarrassed, took off my outer garment, and I only wore a dark-colored undergarment with a subtle pattern, which was absolutely improper. However, I quickly took it off, held it in both hands, and knelt down flat, "Your subject has made a great mistake, mistakenly wearing the late Empress Yuan's clothes."

  The queen looked at Xuan Ling with a scrutinizing gaze, and said cautiously: "Zhaoyi has always been careful, she must not have done this on purpose, I'm afraid there's some reason behind it?" She turned to me and said, "You tell me yourself."

  I calmly shook my head and said, "When I arrived at the Empress's palace, I found that my ceremonial dress was damaged, so I had no choice but to temporarily borrow this one. I didn't know where it came from." A hint of a sad smile appeared on the corner of my lips, and my breathing was uneven. "If not for this..." I stared at Xuan Ling, but couldn't continue speaking, and only said to the Empress, "It's originally my fault, I'm willing to accept punishment."

  In my heart, I never wanted to be someone else in his eyes. Forget it. Forget it.

  Xuan Ling looked at me with a complex and distant expression. I turned away, forcing back tears in my eyes.

  In such a chilly silence. After a moment, the empress hesitated and said: "Zhaoyi... she..."

  Xuan Ling's face was expressionless as he said, "Zhaoyi? Although we've gone through the ceremonial rites, I haven't heard you give any instructions. It can't be considered a successful ritual."

  My heart has long been chilled to the bone, yet this still shocks me. Unconsciously, I let out a bitter laugh. Forget it, in his heart, I was never meant to be his empress, the one he thinks of and misses is not me!

  He looked at me with an air of superiority, as if he was far above me, and said: "The Tongli Palace has been built, you can go there to reflect on your mistakes."

  My downfall was in just one night. Everything was turned upside down. The newly built Tongli Palace, elegant and exquisite Tongli Palace, symbolizing the honor and nobility of Tongli Palace, also became a cold prison in just one night.

  My tears flowed freely that night when I returned to the pear blossom. The quilt was stained with my tears, cold and damp in the chilly spring night. The moonlight filtered through the windowpane, a pale dead water. I lay awake like this, gazing from the endless darkness to the east where a faint light appeared, without any fatigue.

  The heart, from intense pain and scorching heat, had been reduced to a cold, dead ash, like the silver charcoal that had burned out overnight in the brazier. Such deep shame and sorrow had shattered an already incomplete heart into threads.

  I realized that everything was just a trap, starting from the ruined dress. And in this realization, there is an even deeper sense of humiliation - all the love and honor he gave me were only because I was a similar shadow!

  Alas! The me in his heart is just a substitute for the pure Yuan Empress.

  After a long time of staring and crying, the eyes felt dry and sore. After a long silence, someone finally pushed open the door, it was Tong Xiu. She said softly: "Your Highness."

  I just sat there blankly. Everyone in the Tongli Palace was locked up with me. The panic of the combined palace did not dare to disturb me either. Xun Si made a courtesy and said slowly, "Your Highness, please take care of yourself and don't get sick."

  I have no more tears, the hall is dimly lit, her expression looks haggard in the backlight. I raise my head and gaze at Suo Yu for the first time with a lingering and savoring look, my throat has a hoarse pain, I suddenly burst out laughing coldly, "Suo Yu, in the past when I asked you why you were so devoted to me without reason, you only said it was because of fate, now - can you tell me?"

  She bit her lip and knelt quietly beside me, only responding with silence. The corners of my lips slowly spread out, in such a sorrowful and resentful mood, the smile must also be terrifying, "Is it because I resemble the late Empress Yuanyuan?"

  She nodded slowly and then shook her head, saying: "Your Majesty does not look very much like Empress Chunyuan."

  I raised an eyebrow, skeptical, and said, "Really?" I muttered to myself, "It wasn't until now that I understood." The expression on Empress Duan's face when she first saw me suddenly appeared before my eyes. Why was she surprised to see me? Why did she say those words? As one of the earliest consorts to enter the palace, she must have been familiar with the appearance of Empress Chunyuan.

  "Three parts similarity and five parts temperament are enough to move the Emperor's heart."

  I smiled wistfully and sneered at myself: "Three points for looks? Five points for temperament? It's enough to make you loyal to me - no, your true loyalty is to Empress Yuan."

  Qingci knelt down and said sincerely, "I was not fortunate enough to serve the previous empress, but I once received her favor due to a chance encounter." Qingci looked at me calmly, with clear eyes like water. "Your Majesty has a few true portraits only when wearing the clothes of the previous empress. The previous empress had a too kind heart, while Your Majesty is soft-hearted but also decisive. I am loyal to Your Majesty not only because of the previous empress's kindness but also for Your Majesty yourself."

  I gazed at her, unable to suppress the curiosity and discontent in my heart: "Empress Chuyu, what kind of person was she?"

  She smiled faintly, but her eyes turned red: "The Empress Yuanyuan shouldn't have lived in this world. There's no one kinder or better than her." Seeing my astonishment, she only said: "The late empress was like a celestial being, and the worldly dust would only tarnish her."

  I was speechless with amazement, as a child I heard people mention the Empress Yuan only to know that she was beautiful and gentle with great virtue, skilled in the Surprising Swan Dance, which greatly pleased Emperor Xianling. In the palace, I didn't know much about her either, only knowing that Consort Duan's skillful pipa playing came from her, such talent is beyond my reach.

  I humbly lowered my tone and said: "She... must be very good, I suppose."

  "Even if you are a thorny rose, Empress Chun Yuan is a water lily. Unfortunately, the palace is too dusty and muddy for the water lily to bloom."

  "Ruo Xi spoke candidly, and I was deeply moved. I turned to her with a sorrowful expression: 'A rose with thorns? Even if it has thorns, how can it withstand the numerous open and secret attacks? In this predicament, I am already at a loss for words, and now that I have fallen out of favor, it's not like before. This time, it's difficult to turn things around, and even if you remain loyal to me, it would be in vain.'"

  Qingyu bowed her head solemnly and said, "This matter is also the fault of us servants. I felt that the clothes looked familiar, but at the time, I couldn't recall that they were the old belongings of the previous empress. Moreover, Eunuch Jiang had never served the previous empress before, so it's true that we fell into someone else's trap." Qingyu paused for a moment and continued, "Yesterday, just after Your Ladyship was sent back, I heard that Eunuch Jiang was beaten to death with rods by imperial decree."

  I was shocked by his words, and my heart felt even more distressed: "He is being implicated because of me, and he is also a chess piece that has been calculated." I grasped the hand of Cui Shu, apologetically saying: "I shouldn't have doubted your loyalty, even if you were doing it for the sake of the previous emperor's wife, at least you were doing it for me. But the Emperor..." I didn't continue, only coldly laughing: "The Empress has put in a lot of thought!"

  The eyelashes of the princess jumped, and after a moment's hesitation, she said: "How did you know, Your Majesty?"

  "If it weren't for her deliberate actions, who could have touched the former Empress Yuan's belongings, and how could this be such a coincidence?" My heart trembled with fear. I was well aware of the Empress's tactics - our collaboration in scaring Consort Li and eliminating Consort Hua had been seamless and precise. She wasn't just a gentle and virtuous person! After my initial cold laughter, I felt a pang of anxiety. Who would have thought that the mantis stalks the cicada, while the oriole waits behind? The cunning rabbit dies, and the loyal dog is boiled!

  Isn't it?

  She lowered her head, slightly biting her lip: "The empress has no disloyal intentions towards the queen, it's just that she has been rising step by step and gained the emperor's favor, so the queen must be wary."

  I stood up, looking around blankly, and said: "I have lost your heart, and I also don't meet the Empress's intention. The matter I committed involves the previous Empress, which is a painful spot for both the Emperor and the Empress Dowager."

  "Today's matter is indeed unable to be turned around at present, Your Highness can only wait quietly for the opportunity."

  "What's the difference?" I looked around the refurbished Tongli Palace, at this moment, it was no different from a real Cold Palace. In the past, Xuan Ling had sent me to Wuliang Temple to avoid the palace struggles of the previous dynasty, and it was a deep affection. Today's confinement cannot be mentioned in the same breath. Forget it, forget it!

  The days passed in silence, and all the preferential treatment of Tongli Palace was cancelled. People outside didn't know how to make fun of me, I was demoted on the day of my appointment, and I was the first one. Xuan Ling only allowed the Imperial Household Department to give me the treatment of a noble person. After Jiang Minzhong's death, the people in the Imperial Household Department naturally followed the wind and were harsh, sending rough food, most of which was rotten and cold. Some of the rough-serving eunuchs and palace maids in Tongli Palace naturally complained endlessly. Fortunately, Quanxi and Xiaoyanzi were still holding on, and everyone was trying their best to endure.

  Although my heart is filled with sorrow, I do not want to wash my face with tears again. However, holding back in every way, the pain and resentment were forcibly suppressed in my heart, like a huge stone, and gradually also stayed away from tea and rice.

  The severe cold and heavy snow had never stopped, the Tongli Palace was located in a remote area, and it was often damp and chilly. The charcoal fire for heating had been cut off by the Imperial Household Department, and there was nothing to keep warm with. The bedding was almost wet enough to squeeze out water. Although I wore several more layers of clothing, after just a few days, my originally delicate hands and feet were covered in painful chilblains, as purple as grapes, bright red and oozing blood, constantly cracking open and bleeding, with threads of bright red blood. Yu Zhu and Liu Zhu were anxious and didn't care about the taboos anymore, they slept together with me every night to keep warm. I only then discovered that their hands and feet had also cracked and broken.

  I could no longer bear it, and in addition to my heartache, the three of us couldn't help but weep. I said tearfully: "In the past when we were slaves and servants in the mansion, you didn't suffer such hardships, yet now you have to endure this punishment with me."

  Lingyu warmed my feet with her legs and said sorrowfully: "Miss, you've never had to work so hard before. The Emperor is also too..."

  The vermilion lips were stained with tears, and she said indignantly: "The slaves have begged in all ways, only hoping that the inner government can accommodate some medicinal ointment for frostbite or take some charcoal. Who knew they wouldn't even bother to reason, nor would they let the slaves out, just ridiculing them outside the door. How did they please us at first?

  Lan Bi let out a sigh and glared at Liu Zhu, saying: "Can't you just calm down for once? Don't you think things are already troublesome enough?"

  Liuzhu said, "One day, I'll make them know the severity of Liuzhu!" As she spoke, she covered my hand in her bosom. Her hands were also icy cold, but there was a warmth in her chest that warmed me up entirely. I tightly hugged them, feeling even more distressed, and said, "Originally, I wanted to plan a good future for you all, but now it seems impossible. I fear I won't be able to save myself, let alone drag you down with me." I felt especially guilty towards Huanbi, "Huanbi, I've implicated you as well."

  The blue-robed maid gently shook her head, only silently shedding tears. The red-dressed maid spoke out: "Is it that I'm following the young lady just to enjoy blessings?! I've been following the young lady since childhood, and not only have I enjoyed happiness with the young lady, but also I'm not afraid to share hardships with the young lady. My entire body is for the young lady."

  "I never regarded you as slaves, did I?"

  Tears sparkled in Yu's eyes, "What Flowing Vermilion said is right. The young lady treats us differently from the other slaves, are we still afraid of not being able to get through together? There must be nothing that can't be gotten over."

  The moonlight is dim and unclear, faintly like a gray shadow. The deep night in the palace is getting colder. My heart is sorrowful, and I'm afraid of disturbing Flowing Vermilion and Washing Jade beside me by turning over, so I remain still. The moonlight falls on the curtain, sparse and thin like a hook. Today is again the last day of the month. The crescent moon is fine and curved like a hook, cutting at my heart. The full moon and the deficient moon, every day are changing unpredictably. But as for the complexity and variability of human hearts, how can it be compared to the cloudy and clear, full and deficient changes of the moon?

  I sighed softly in melancholy.

  Perhaps it was the irregular diet of late, but I had lost all energy and my spirits were low. Or perhaps it was because of this unbearable mental state that my usually unreliable menstrual cycle was delayed by three to five days compared to last month. My body and heart felt unspeakable discomfort and distress. Xiǎo Suī was anxious and wanted to send a servant to invite the imperial physician, but the guards at Táng Lí Palace were extremely fierce and had a terrible attitude, not giving us any consideration whatsoever. They hastily said: "The Emperor has given an order that no one from this palace is allowed to go out. We can't do anything about it." And so they watched as I grew weaker and more haggard day by day.

  Finally, on that morning when he got up and changed his clothes, he was exhausted, his legs felt empty, and he fainted.

  When I woke up, Wen Shi was by my side. The charcoal fire in the hall had been rekindled, warm and bright. A small silver pot of hot herbal medicine was simmering on a low flame, slightly pungent. My bedding had all been changed to soft and dry ones, and a copper foot warmer had been placed at my feet to keep me warm.

  I raised my hand, but found it wrapped in a thick layer of soft cloth. I was taken aback, and Xiǎo Suī smiled sweetly beside me, saying, "Your Highness, don't move, I just applied some marten oil to treat frostbite, I'm afraid it will stain your clothes." She held a bowl of bird's nest soup and gently blew on it, then fed me spoonful by spoonful with a silver spoon. My head was spinning, my body felt weak and limp, and I stared at everything around me in confusion. How could I receive such luxurious treatment while being imprisoned? And yet, the hot foot bath at my feet didn't feel like an illusion either.

  I gazed at Wen Shi Chu, and suddenly saw an old acquaintance. My eyes involuntarily grew hot as I said, "Lord Wen."

  He responded with a sound, his eyes filled with thin warmth and sorrow, trying his best to hold back, and bowed to say: "Your humble servant congratulates Your Highness!"

  My consciousness was a bit fuzzy, and I subconsciously touched my abdomen, looking at him in confusion and surprise: "Really?"

  Tears fell, and she gently turned her head to wipe them away. The palace maids and eunuchs all knelt down together to congratulate her: "Congratulations, Your Majesty." She said: "The imperial physician says that you are already one month pregnant."

  My heart is filled with a mix of emotions, both joy and sorrow. I had longed for a child but couldn't have one, now that I'm pregnant, I don't know if I'll be able to rely on him or drag him down instead. As I stroke my belly, tears almost fall.

  After everyone withdrew, only Wen Shi Chu and Qi Wei were left by my side. Qi Wei was tending to the medicine stove beside me, while Wen Shi Chu examined my pulse: "Your Highness's emotions have been fluctuating too much, your fetal energy is unstable, you must not get agitated or saddened again."

  I turned away, holding back the sourness in my nose, and said: "What does Your Excellency think of me now?"

  He let out a long sigh: "This is the only chance for Her Highness to turn things around now." He comforted her, saying: "The Emperor has already decreed that I, your humble servant, will take care of Your Highness's pregnancy. Although you have not yet recovered the proper treatment due to a noble concubine, you are allowed to be treated with the rites due to a concubine. The Empress Dowager also ordered people to take extra care of Your Highness's food and daily life, so please try to put your mind at ease."

  I smiled bleakly and said, "Is that so? Do you think this is an opportunity for me to turn things around? If so, then why did you just say all those words without mentioning anything about lifting the ban on my movements? Not a single word of comfort from the Emperor either. Moreover, this so-called imperial treatment is for the sake of my child, not because of me."

  He fell silent, and also felt a pang of sorrow. The servant girl beside him also stopped fanning the wind furnace with her hand, hanging her head in silence. The hall was quiet for a moment, only to see the hot air "gurgling" out of the small silver teapot, white and misty.

  "Wenchang hastily said: 'Your Ladyship......' and his throat also had a choking intention."

  I held the warm soup in my arms, feeling its warmth, and smiled slightly. "Why are you so sad, sir? I'm not sad at all, but you're getting ahead of me." The soup was scalding hot, burning through my clothes and onto my icy chest. I lowered my head and said firmly, "No matter what happens, I will never belittle myself or compromise this child's well-being. Even if I were to enter the Cold Palace, I would still raise this child properly and see them grow up."

  Wen Shi Chu let out a long-held breath and said with relief, "That's good. I was afraid Your Ladyship would belittle yourself." He said firmly, "With Your Ladyship's words, I will definitely take good care of you!"

  I gave a mournful smile, deeply feeling the warmth and gratitude. Wen Shi Chu's feelings towards me I will not be able to repay in this life, even if he has affection for me, I have no intention, but in the cold and ever-changing deep palace, he is like a close relative by my side with concern.

  I smiled through tears and said slowly: "Lord Wen has known me since childhood, when have you ever seen me belittle myself?"

  He smiled with satisfaction and said: "The empress I know has never disappointed me."

  "I said: 'In that case, I entrust myself and the child in my womb to you, sir.'"

  After Wen Shi left, Du Xi stayed by my side to take care of me. She tucked in the quilt for me and said with a smile: "Fortunately, it was Lord Wen who came to take care of Your Majesty. However, everything must not be taken lightly." She advised me: "It's good that you have children now, at least His Majesty won't be too heartless."

  I smiled faintly and said, "Do you also think that His Majesty is too heartless?"

  There are many children in the palace who cannot be born, and every step is a dangerous road. Since Xu Ling's feelings are thin, I can only rely on myself to fight for it.

  I struggled to get dressed and ordered Qiniu to bring the four treasures of the study. Qiniu said, "Your Highness is weak in body, why not rest for a while before writing?"

  I shook my head, picked up the pen and wrote a letter, handed it to Rong Yu sealed it well, saying: "I am pregnant, the Emperor will surely read my letter. Find a way to deliver it to the palace."

  "Your Ladyship has written something?"

  I'm exhausted from overexerting myself, and I feel even more strained. Half-leaning against the edge of the bed, I said: "I beg Your Majesty to issue an imperial decree, ordering the Empress to personally oversee my pregnancy and childbirth."

  "Empress, you were already suspicious of this matter being Her Majesty's intention, so why must Her Majesty still take care of it?"

  I forced a smile: "Not bad. But now the queen is in power, I need to be careful with this child, and relying on my own strength will not be enough. The queen designed this trap for me, she must dislike me very much, and it's likely that she also dislikes the child in my womb. For now, I have no choice but to yield, I am absolutely powerless against her. If I want her to take care of everything related to my childbirth, if anything goes wrong, she will be the first to bear the responsibility. For her own sake, she must take good care not to harm my child, and not let others harm my child."

  Although helpless, she also agreed: "For everything to be safe and sound, this is the only way. In the future, if the princess wants to regain her favor, all hopes will be placed on this child."

  I shook my head in dismay. If Xuan Ling was like this, would I still be willing to fight for favor and become a substitute for someone else? Even if they killed me, it was absolutely impossible. All I wanted was for the child to grow up safely.

  I just said: "You go quickly." The queen was always "benevolent and kind" in front of people, Xuan Ling had such an order, she would not refuse.

  I bowed my head and stroked the still-flat belly, secretly making a vow: child, even if your father doesn't care about you, doesn't care about mother, mother will definitely find a way to protect you safely.

  She smiled and said, "The swallow's nest has gone cold, I'll go get some hot milk to bring in."

  "I said casually: 'Let's just go with it. My mouth always feels bland and tasteless, tell Flowing Vermilion to have the small kitchen make a bowl of shrimp porridge.'"

  Yan's expression was somewhat strange, she responded with a sound and hastily left. After a while, the one who brought in the congee was actually Huan Bi. She sat in front of my bed, ladling it out with a smile: "Miss, now that you're pregnant, one person eats, two people benefit, you should eat more."

  I didn't have a big appetite to begin with, but I thought about it for a moment. When the dish was placed in front of me, I lost interest again. Seeing her eagerly waiting, I forced myself to swallow a few mouthfuls and said: "Why isn't Flowing Vermilion coming? Just now when you all came to congratulate us, she wasn't here either."

  The maid smiled and said: "Miss, are you dissatisfied with my service? You're always thinking of that Flowing Vermilion."

  I saw her smiling, but her eyes were red at the corners. I couldn't help but feel puzzled and asked: "What's wrong with Liuzhu?"

  "She hastily said: 'Nothing's wrong. It's just that Liuchu hasn't been sleeping well these past few nights, caught a cold and is sleeping now.'"

  I let out an "oh" and was about to fall asleep. But with the ups and downs of these recent days, my heart wasn't at peace. I threw off the covers and got up, saying: "I'll go take a look at her."

  Fen Bi hastily got up to stop me, and I became even more suspicious. Seeing that she couldn't stop me, Fen Bi suddenly knelt down on the ground with a "thud", bit her lip and cried out in pain: "Miss, don't go anymore, Liu Zhu is already gone."

  I was shocked and exclaimed: "What did you say?!"

  Miss, how do you think the imperial physician could have gotten in? The guards outside didn't even bother with our pleas. It was only when Liuzhu sacrificed herself and crashed into their swords that they feared a life would be lost and called for the imperial physician to come. Only then did Imperial Physician Wen agree to come and attend to you, but unfortunately, Liuzhu couldn't be saved.

  Li Zhu has been by my side since childhood, and our relationship is like that of biological sisters. Suddenly hearing such terrible news, I felt a sharp pain in my heart and almost fell into Yu Mei's arms. Yu Mei cried out anxiously, "I told you not to let Miss know, fearing it would harm the fetus. Please don't be too sad, Miss."

  She rushed in, crying, and as soon as she saw me like this, she knew it was bad. She hurriedly helped me sit down and said anxiously: "Your Highness, you must think clearly now that you're heartbroken. The most important thing is to take care of yourself. Flowing Crimson died for Your Highness, so please don't let her die in vain. Only if Your Highness is safe can we avenge Flowing Crimson."

  I gritted my teeth so hard that they ached at the roots, as if I had a mouthful of ice water. Fen Bi cried out in entreaty: "Miss must take care of herself! Miss knows how miserably Liu Zhu died - she was beaten to death with a single blow, and her body wasn't even allowed a proper burial. If Miss were to be heartbroken, wouldn't it all have been for nothing?"

  I shed tears silently. I knew Bi Xi's background and had always treated her with kindness, but I couldn't help neglecting Liu Zhu slightly. However, after Bi Xi's betrayal that day, my heart trusted Liu Zhu even more. Unfortunately, she entered the palace with Bi Xi to accompany me, and before we could enjoy a single peaceful day together, she suffered such a tragic fate because of me!

  She grasped my hand, prying open my clenched fingers one by one, and said tearfully, "Your Majesty's hand has just been medicated, how can it be good to grasp it like this?" She spoke sternly, "Has Your Majesty forgotten the death of Concubine Hui on that day? If Your Majesty could endure it back then, can't you tolerate a temporary pain today? If Your Majesty hurts yourself, then even if you want to avenge Flowing Vermilion in the future, you will be powerless!"

  These words are reasonable, and I can bear to hear them even if they make me sad. I slowly stopped my tears and said sternly: "That's right, only if I live a good life will Zhu's death not be in vain."