Thorns fill my bosom, the sky is still dark

  When the peach blossoms are in full bloom, the swallows of spring return to build their nests. The willow branches are wrapped around, and the spring breeze is also tied up, making people feel an inexplicable sense of heat.

  After I became pregnant, Xuan Ling never came to see me, nor did he allow anyone else to visit me. Even Mei Zhuang, who was very close to me, was not allowed to step into the Tongli Palace. Only Fang Ruo was permitted to come and keep me company for an hour every day, to take care of my daily needs or to stroll with me in the Shanglin Garden for a short while. All other matters were left to the Empress to handle.

  I know he can't stand me, the secret he hid so well was discovered by me. The clothes of his beloved were put on my body without permission. And I, too, resent him, all these years of affection, ultimately misplaced.

  Gradually, resentment also became unnecessary. Thinking back to his previous suspicions and coldness towards me, I realized that in his heart, I was just a trivial matter all along.

  The only one who can come and go freely is Wen Shi Chu, bringing me some news from outside. The guards who killed Liu Zhu have been sent to the "Violent Room" by Xuan Ling to perform hard labor; although Xuan Qing had merit in the Ping Yu Nan Wang case, he declined all rewards and remained an idle prince; my brother, sister-in-law, parents are worried about me but can do nothing, fortunately, Xuan Ling did not transfer his anger to them. He spoke more of Mei Zhuang, today asking him to send a box of my favorite pastry quietly brought in for me, tomorrow was a paper folded into a auspicious knot, written with warm words of comfort, the next day was a well-made children's belly warmer. I understand her intentions and feel relieved at heart. Occasionally, Jing Fei and Duan Fei also privately asked Wen Shi Chu to bring comforting words, only Ling Rong, as if she had disappeared, without any news or concern.

  I forced a smile, although the world is cold and cruel, but she may not necessarily be resentful of me in her heart.

  The weather is getting hotter, and by June, I have changed into thin silk clothes. Five months pregnant, my body feels more and more tired, often leaning on the noble bed during the day will also fall asleep, but at night, I sleep restlessly, my bulging belly makes me turn over and feel uneasy, and my toes and thighs are also cramping and aching.

  "When the queen first came, she said: 'The queen should use more bones to simmer soup and drink it with a little vinegar. It's better to use tofu and vegetables and fruits in daily life, which can relieve the symptoms of cramps. If you want to sleep soundly, drink some milk before bed.'"

  Miss Lin remembered it on one side, and Wen Shi initially wrote a few flavors of fetal medicine, saying: "Please forgive the minister for speaking too much, Your Highness is not sleeping well, I'm afraid it's because you're thinking too much in your heart, which can't be resolved by medicine."

  I rolled up my sleeves, half-smiling: "Since you already know, why say it again? Later, you'll go to report back to the Empress. Please give my regards to the Empress and tell her that I'm doing well."

  He said: "The Empress Dowager, entrusted by the Emperor, did not dare to take it lightly with Your Majesty and the fetus in your belly, and often summoned me to ask about it."

  I looked at him and said slowly: "You know how to deal with it."

  After chatting for a while, I asked again: "The burn on Mei Zhuang's hand should have healed by now. Did Master Wen give her the Shu Xin gel to use? Is it effective?"

  Wen Shi's expression turned gloomy, and he muttered, "Much better." He hesitated for a moment, but ultimately didn't say anything else. Instead, he carefully asked about the progress of Mei Zhuang's injury, but only vaguely mentioned whether Shu Xing Gao was effective. Finally, he solemnly reminded her, "If An Fen brings any gifts to Your Highness, please let me examine them first before using them."

  He spoke so earnestly and cautiously, his expression reminded me of the day I took Shu Jing with Mei Zhuang, he was worried, my heart skipped a beat, and I became more uneasy. I maintained a calm demeanor and said quietly: "Your Majesty wants me to keep a peaceful mind and not think too much, but Your Majesty speaks hesitantly, isn't it intentional to make me worry?" I looked around the Tongli Palace and paused before saying: "If there's anything you want to say, just say it straight out, is today's human feelings so unpredictable that I still can't bear it?"

  His eyes flickered and he hesitated before saying: "That Shu Henjiao..."

  His expression was full of unbearable disgust. A flash of inspiration in his mind, and he could no longer believe it, but had to believe it. Why did I feel uncomfortable fetal movement in the days before losing my child? Why did I smell "Huan Yi Xiang" for several hours in the palace of Empress Hua and knelt for half an hour and then had a miscarriage? Why did Wen Shi Chu detect musk in my body after my miscarriage, while Ling Rong's explanation was due to the effect of "Huan Yi Xiang"?

  Musk?! My body shook violently, and I felt a chill run down my spine. I forced myself to calm down and asked Wen Shi Chu: "Is there musk in that Shu Xin glue?"

  He was somewhat tongue-tied and said: "Your Ladyship..."

  I clenched my fist and held my breath, saying: "You speak."

  He reluctantly said, "Your humble servant... the glue contains a considerable amount of musk, if it enters the muscle through the wound, it's like taking medicine every day. The fragrance of the flower is strong and pungent, intended to mask the smell of musk. If not for someone who understands perfumes, they wouldn't be able to mix it." He tightly grasped his own sleeve and said, "Actually, it may not necessarily be An Fengyi's doing, your humble servant is just speculating. After all, there are people in the palace who can also come into contact with Shu Hen glue..."

  Shu Xun's perfume is personally blended by Ling Rong, and I use it every day, so no one can get close to me. But if she didn't understand how to mix the fragrance, how could she grasp the right amount without letting me notice?

  I don't know if it's her own doing or someone else's instruction. Why does she hate me to the point of not even sparing the child in my womb that day?

  I felt a chill run down my body, hatred tangled in my heart, my chest was suffocating and I felt extremely nauseous. I couldn't hold it in and let out a loud "wa" as I vomited everything out. The floor was a mess, but Wen Shi Chu didn't care about the dirtiness and quickly helped me up. She also helped me wipe myself clean. Wen Shi Chu asked with concern: "Your Highness, is your nausea very severe?"

  I slumped in my chair, laughing coldly and miserably: "People even call me disgusting." I looked at him: "I was actually moved by her various disguises, but I'm not the most foolish person in the world!"

  He hastily said: "If Anshi's plan is really so deep, who else can know about it? Not just the princess was deceived by her!"

  I lazily got up, the sunlight outside the window was so bright and hot, shining white on the ground, making people's eyes dizzy. I endured with great effort and asked Wen Shi Chu: "Does Mei sister know about this?"

  He cautiously shook his head: "Your humble servant dare not speak rashly."

  I nodded, and said deliberately: "This matter must not be let her know, otherwise with her temper how can she bear it. If this matter is really done by An Fengyi, it will surely be a deep plan, and Mei sister will definitely be unable to handle it. What's more, the palace is in such a state of decline, and she is even weaker."

  I nodded deeply, thought for a moment and said: "Be sure to tell Sister Mei that no matter what, she must not offend the Empress and An Fen Yi." I waved my hand and said: "You can go back now, this palace is also tired."

  Bingbi hastily helped me into the inner hall and lay down, saying anxiously: "Since Anfen Yi and Miss had a miscarriage in the past, why doesn't Miss let Shen Jieyu take advantage of the situation to plan for the future? Why is she still tolerating her in everything?"

  I lay on the bed, my hair was wet with sweat, I slowly fanned myself and said: "At this moment, I can only let Mei Zhuang take care of herself. What if she gets involved in trouble because of me? If I want her to change her ways, isn't that asking her to look for death?"

  Her face turned slightly red and she said: "I'm just worried about Miss."

  "I said, 'You go out and let me rest quietly.' Huai Bi responded and went out. I lay alone, my heart churning like boiling water. My feelings for Ling Rong were naturally not comparable to those for Mei Zhuang, whom I had grown up with since childhood. However, we had always been close, despite the distance in this closeness. Yet, I didn't feel any guilt towards her."

  How terrifying is the human heart, has it really come to this?! I slowly fanned myself with a fan, my hand slightly trembling. Ling Rong, Ling Rong, in my mind was a jumbled mess of thoughts, Han Ya's sentimental feelings, Jin Lu's fortunate gain, after I lost favor she regained favor under the guidance of the Empress and sang a triumphant song, after she gained favor her words were filled with hints of who Emperor Xuan would favor next. The Empress's sincere emotions as she advised me to use Shu Xin cream to heal the wounds on my face. Those faint clues and my various suspicions, in my careful consideration became clear and connected into a single thread.

  Those details that I ignored or deliberately didn't suspect suddenly collapsed in front of me, all turning into fragments.

  The queen and Ling Rong, what kind of tacit understanding is between them. The queen I once relied on for support was also secretly plotting against me behind my back, and she even held hands with Ling Rong. Consort Hua, however, was just a scapegoat.

  I was so angry I almost vomited blood, "Crack" sound, and broke the fan in my hand into two halves.

  At night, I slept alone. The hot weather made me toss and turn, but I didn't dare to take a cold shower. With heavy thoughts weighing on my mind, I finally got up and walked quietly to the corridor behind the hall in bare feet. Through the window screens blown by the wind, I saw that Hongyu was sleeping soundly on the desk. After Zhu's death, she had been taking care of all my personal matters, including waking me up at midnight when I suddenly felt thirsty or got cramps, which must have been very exhausting for her.

  The moonlight in the corridor is separated by dense or sparse leaves, and it has been filtered into a bright light. The pear blossoms have already fallen, and many small green pears have formed on the tree, like a child's clenched fist. The midnight wind blows with the fragrance of fallen flowers, filling my thin nightgown, and my five-month pregnancy is already very obvious.

  I remember when I was first pregnant, it was also under this pear tree. The pear blossoms were blooming like they were covered in ice and snow, fragrant and refreshing. At that time, the romance between me and Xuan Ling was like a spring dream in a young girl's boudoir, just like these years, fleeting and never to return again.

  Nowadays I am pregnant, this body is so hard to bear, only feeling shocked and frightened, shocked and frightened without end, as if there will never be a day when it gets to the worst.

  The wind scattered my long hair, accompanied by the distant and unknown insect hum, gently brushing against my increasingly sharp face. I suddenly cried out in pain, even though it was painful, I suppressed it with all my might into a faint whimper, scattered in the night wind.

  There was a pair of hands that gently draped clothes over me, I turned my head, and it was Xi Qi. She said with concern: "Your Majesty rushed out barefoot, be careful not to catch a chill."

  She held a pair of soft satin shoes in her hand, helped me sit down and carefully put them on for me. She pretended not to see my tears and resentment, and said slowly: "Shouldn't you be happy, Your Highness?"

  I doubt it: "Really?"

  "The queen wondered if the young master's intentions were genuine, for if she had been a hidden arrow before, today she would be an open spear. Wouldn't it be better to have one less enemy in the shadows? Now that the queen is in plain sight, wouldn't it be best to reduce the number of enemies lurking in the dark?" She asked me softly: "Is the queen still grieving for the sisterly bond of the past?"

  I wanted to nod, but instead I sneered, "Now it seems that she and I can still live up to the phrase 'sisterly love'?"

  Xiang Yu sat calmly at my feet, smiling lightly and saying: "The affection between the Empress and Shen Cixi is indeed a rare thing. Since it's rare, there's no need to hope that everyone will be like this."

  I spoke out of sadness in my heart: "I really don't understand why she treats me like this?!"

  "Your Majesty doesn't need to understand, but if one day you do find out, it will definitely be an extremely ugly and unbearable truth. Your Majesty has indeed treated An Fen very well, but in this palace, it's not that you treat her well and she'll treat you well."

  I know that at present I have no ability to fight back, even if I hate it so much that I grind my teeth with rage, I must endure.

  I brushed aside the messy hair in front of me, "You're right, good or bad, it's all for personal gain. I also suspected that she might be instructed by someone, but whether it was her intention or not, what she did was what she did." I grasped Shui's hand tightly and expressed my gratitude: "Shui, you always manage to make me understand in time."

  She was a bit shy, but more calm and composed. "I've grown up in the palace since I was a child, now I'm already 30 years old, of course, I'm not someone who hasn't seen or understood anything." She spoke softly yet firmly: "The matter with An Fenyi might be that someone is secretly manipulating her, no matter what she's like, if Your Majesty gets hurt because of her at this time, it would be a great pity. Please calm down, Your Majesty." She sighed and said: "Actually, this isn't anything serious, Your Majesty only gets hurt because you're too emotional, in the palace even sisters can turn against each other one day, let alone those who aren't sisters."

  I was deeply moved by her words and couldn't say anything, so I could only slowly calm down my emotions and go to sleep peacefully.

  When I was six months pregnant, the weather was extremely hot. By nature, I couldn't stand the heat and now that I'm carrying a child, I especially can't eat cold foods. The more I feel miserable and irritable. The only thing that brings me joy is that the baby's movements in my belly seem to be getting stronger.

  That day, I was taking a nap in the palace because since I became pregnant, I have been sleeping poorly. It's rare to have a good sleep, so everyone is happy and only left Yuanyuan by my side to fan me. After the thunderstorm at noon, the cool breeze from the north window blew gently into the room, carrying the refreshing water vapor, and I slept very comfortably.

  In a daze, I felt that Yuè Bì's hand was extremely strong, and with each wave of the fan, the wind grew stronger, making me feel even more comfortable. I was having a distant dream, still from that year when I first met him at the Taiping Palace, also during an afternoon nap, on a hot day, Xuán Líng came to see me. Those sweet nothings were vaguely and hazily in my ears, low and gentle. He suddenly called out to me: "Jūn Jūn, your 'Surprise Swan Dance' is so good." I was facing the mirror, dressing up, he was drawing distant mountain eyebrow for me, his movements were skilled, actually my eyebrow shape was more suitable for willow leaf eyebrow. Suddenly I became afraid, loudly and hastily calling out: "Fourth Brother! I am Huàn Huàn, not Jūn Jūn, not any Jūn Jūn!" He however only looked at me with deep affection, still gently saying: "Jūn Jūn, your Surprise Swan Dance——"

  My head is splitting, and I'm almost in tears. The dance of the startled swan is bewildering and fluttering, like a startled swan, amidst the falling flowers like rain. A faint, mournful sound of the flute follows me, or is it the zither? I can barely distinguish between them. My mother's clear laughter echoes in my ears: "Learning the dance of the startled swan is for your beloved to see, not for others to watch easily. How could you let others see the dance that you, a young woman, have learned with such difficulty?"

  I felt a wave of dizziness and a warm large hand gently covered my forehead, asking with concern: "Is she usually like this? Not sleeping well?"

  That was clearly a man's voice, and Huan Bi's low voice said, "Miss always sleeps poorly and eats badly."

  He let out a soft "oh" and a cool cloth covered my forehead, I felt a bit more comfortable. It was as if there were a pair of hands gently stroking my increasingly rounded belly, but it wasn't quite real, just a very slight sensation. All I felt was drowsy, vaguely hearing him softly asking Bi Xi something, and then fell back asleep.

  When I woke up, it was already nighttime. I struggled to get up and said, "My belly is getting bigger and bigger, and it's becoming more inconvenient to move around."

  Miss's figure doesn't seem to be fat at all.

  I smiled slightly and asked: "Just now I seemed to hear you talking to someone, was there someone here?"

  "Now who's coming over? It was Xiaoyuzi who just came in and saw the young lady sleeping with sweat, so she brought a cool handkerchief." I saw that there was indeed a snow-white square handkerchief next to my hand, which seemed to have been used to wipe away sweat. I didn't think much of it and was about to call out to Yulan to bring me some water to drink when I suddenly felt a movement in my abdomen, as if someone had kicked me. I froze on the spot, not daring to move at all. After a long time, it happened again like that.

  I burst into tears and grabbed Biyu's hand, placing it on my belly. I stuttered: "Listen! Listen! It's kicking me!"

  Lingbi dropped the thing in her hand, delightedly saying: "Really?" As she said that, she stuck her face close to it, "Miss! It seems to be moving, like... it's stretching its waist."

  The signs of life were so clearly throbbing that I was overjoyed and didn't know what to say, Fen Bi grasped my hand tightly, her face full of joy and excitement: "Miss..." She also burst into tears.

  I smiled and said, "What are you crying about?" I gently stroked my slightly bulging belly and said, "You're its aunt, you should be happy instead."

  Yuanyuan smiled with tears in her eyes, becoming even more delighted. "He's a good child, knowing how to consider his mother's feelings. That's why Miss was not too ill when she had morning sickness earlier. He will definitely be the most filial imperial son in the future!"

  I just smiled and quietly said: "Why must it be a prince? I'd rather hope for an imperial princess."

  "Ah?" exclaimed Fen Bi, "Miss doesn't want to be the emperor's son? Only as the emperor's son can Miss turn her fortunes around and regain favor."

  "I shook my head indifferently: 'Imperial favor? I don't care about that. I just hope my child grows up safely and peacefully.' I lowered my head and said softly: 'If it's an imperial princess, she can avoid getting entangled in the future struggle for the throne. You know, the fight for the emperor's throne is always a matter of life and death, too bloody.' I hesitated for a moment, 'Besides, this child may not necessarily gain its father's favor.'"

  "Perhaps," she said softly, "it's hard to say. I just hope this child can be safe."

  I'd rather smile and remain silent. Since my confinement, this is the first time I've felt such pure joy and happiness. This child in my belly, alive and growing inside me. The greatness and vitality of life has deeply infected my heart, which was tired and soaked in sorrow. All my resentment and hatred, sadness and regret, have vanished at this moment, leaving only this tiny life, which is all my hope and love are attached to.

  As the autumn approached, my body became increasingly cumbersome. On sunny days, Fang Ruo would come to accompany me to Shanglin Garden every day for a stroll of an hour or so to clear my mind and help with the pregnancy. Fang Ruo seemed to have been instructed not to talk about external matters, and only occasionally when she saw me getting tired, she would sit silently with me, without saying much, but the concern and heartache in her eyes were unmistakable.

  My gait has become somewhat difficult, and I need someone to support me at all times. My face is pale and thin, with only my belly being round and protruding. From a distance, it seems like there's just a big belly. When she saw that there was no one else around, Fang Ruo's aunt sighed softly: "If I had known about the disaster today, I would have rather not taught you carefully back then, so as to avoid entering the palace and suffering this fate."

  I gazed at the distant horizon, where a flock of geese flew south in formation. The red walls of the imperial city rose high into the sky, which was a brilliant blue, like a vast expanse of jade, without a single cloud. It seemed as if it would always be that clear and serene. I smiled faintly, my heart calm and peaceful. This kind of weather reminded me of the day I first entered the palace, when I had been filled with anxiety and uncertainty about my future. Just like now, I still didn't know where my path would lead. I said with a gentle smile, "Neither you nor I are saints, how can we know what will happen tomorrow? Every day, we just take care of the present."

  Fang Ruo did not respond and remained silent for a moment before saying, "Actually, the Emperor is very concerned about Your Majesty."

  "Is that so?" I slightly raised the corners of my lips, which was supposed to be a smile. "Are you concerned about me or the child in my belly?" The warm autumn sun seemed to bloom like a lotus flower on my body, and I narrowed my eyes, saying: "If Auntie said this to those new noblewomen, they would probably be more delighted than I am."

  She wanted to say something but stopped herself and didn't continue speaking.

  In the distance, the sound of women's laughter came over, and it was the several noblewomen who had entered the palace last year. Qi Guiren had been promoted to Qi Pin, and Rui Guiren had also been promoted to Rui Pin. At present, the two were quite favored by Emperor Xianling. Fu Guiren and Xiang Guiren were not very pleased, still without promotion. Qi Pin saw me from afar and paid her respects with a bow. Xiang Guiren seemed unwilling, pulling at Qi Pin's sleeve and muttering: "The emperor only gave her the treatment of a pin, she is just like you, sister Qi, why must you show such great respect to her?"

  Qi Concubine didn't respond, Rui Concubine directly ignored her and walked away. After paying respects, she only gave me a slight smile and completely disregarded Xiang Guiren's words. Beside her, Fu Guiren frowned at Xiang Guiren, signaling her to be quiet, then smiled at me as a greeting. However, Xiang Guiren didn't even glance at her and walked away with her hands in her sleeves.

  I just pretended not to hear what Xianggui Ren said. When Fangruo saw them walking away, she smiled and said, "Fugui Ren is really a straightforward person."

  The little palace maid who followed Fang Ruo, holding a fruit plate, chimed in from the side: "Isn't it true? I heard that Xiang Gui Ren even dared to go to her palace and invite the Emperor away, causing Fu Gui Ren to not see the Emperor for three whole months. She found it strange, seeing Tian Er smile, but didn't seem unhappy about it."

  Fang Ruo glared fiercely at the little palace maid and said, "Is it also okay for you to gossip about the noble lady behind her back? Get out, from now on you are not allowed to serve me again."

  The little palace maid looked wronged, and she only pouted her mouth without daring to cry. I smiled lightly and said: "Aunt Fangru is also too careful, the words of this palace are just listened as a joke."

  Fang Ruo Fang calmly replied: "Your Highness is pregnant, why bother listening to these good or bad words?"

  "I just said: 'I've done good and bad things myself, what's there to be afraid of hearing?'"

  At that time, the Taiye Pool was clear and calm, with countless small shadows of the sun floating gently on its surface, making people feel radiant yet illusory. After sitting for a long time, I felt a bit chilly, so I supported myself up and said, "Let's go somewhere to take a walk, it's getting a bit cool after sitting for so long." Fang Ruo agreed and helped me up with Huan Bi on either side of me.

  I have long wanted to take a look at Mei Zhuang, but Fang Ruo always pays attention and it never works out. Every time Mei Zhuang approaches me within three zhang, Fang Ruo must politely ask her to leave with a smile. Although she is polite, there is an implicit order behind it, Mei Zhuang can only glance at me for a moment before turning around and leaving.

  I strolled along the Taiye Pool, the autumn scenery was like a painting, the wind and lotus flowers were round and lifted, without any signs of withering or falling. The Shanglin Garden is always so beautiful, with boundless spring colors, rich autumn atmosphere, and even in winter, there are silk-made flower leaves decorating it, just like the beautiful women in this palace, when one group gets old, a new group comes in, with bright red lips, smooth faces, wavy eyes, and slender figures, like endless blooming spring flowers. At some point, I was also the most gorgeous flower in Shanglin Garden.

  On that day, the swing was still there, but the wisteria and iris that had been planted on it had withered long ago, leaving only a yellowish thread. The swing was empty and seemed to have not been used for a long time. Next to the swing, the apricot tree that had bloomed beautifully had already turned golden yellow. I had a moment of distraction, as if I were still in those youthful years. When I turned my head, I met Ling, who stood tall and slender. Everything was just like before, and it started again in such a beautiful way. The words I said back then still lingered in my mind: "Although the apricot blossoms are beautiful, the apricots they produce are extremely sour, and the apricot kernels are even more bitter. If one's actions always start well but end poorly, what is the point? It's better to be like a pine tree, which remains green all year round, without flowers or fruits."

  It was as if the words had come true, and just as she was lost in thought, Huān Bì reminded her, "Miss, it's time to head back. The small kitchen has prepared a stew of northern and southern apricots with sand ginger, which is most nourishing when eaten now."

  I couldn't help but smile wryly: "Apricot kernel stewed with quail? The apricot blossoms have already bloomed, that's all."

  She thought for a moment and immediately understood, her face flushing. Seeing her embarrassment, I changed the subject: "I'm actually a bit hungry, let's head back together."

  Just as I was about to get up, I saw Xuan Qing leading a few eunuchs from the front. Fang Ruo stepped forward first and asked after my well-being: "Your Highness is doing well." Xuan Ling must not have instructed Fang Ruo on whether to block me when meeting royal relatives, so Fang Ruo was momentarily unable to react. Before he could intervene, Xuan Qing calmly approached us and exchanged greetings with me, saying: "It's been a long time since I've seen Your Ladyship." His gaze fell upon my obviously pregnant belly for an instant, revealing a mix of delight and resignation, before he quickly added: "I haven't had the chance to congratulate you yet, so let me offer my felicitations here."

  I smiled and said: "Your Highness is too polite." I paused for a moment: "Is Your Highness going to pay respects to the Empress Dowager?"

  He had a warm smile on his face and said, "I just came from the imperial brother's place and was about to go pay respects to the empress dowager." He smiled blandly: "I came in a hurry and didn't have time to bring a congratulatory gift for you, noble consort."

  I smiled slightly: "Thank you, Prince Wang." My gaze inadvertently swept past and stopped at the flute at his waist, saying casually: "It's been a long time since I've heard the sound of silk and bamboo, and this palace feels that the taste on my tongue is also dull."

  He smiled and said: "What does the princess like to hear? Let's take this as a congratulatory gift."

  "Apricot Blossom Shadow". I blurted out, but immediately regretted it. This tune was what I played when I first met Xuan Ling, now listening to it again, what meaning does it still hold?

  Xuan Qing lowered his head, took the flute to his lips, and began to play slowly. I stepped back two steps, listening quietly, at that time still young, only knowing the tune was good, but not fully understanding the deep meaning within it. It wasn't until now that I understand, and realize the vast and surging sorrow in the melody, the fleeting nature of beauty, and the desolation of having no place to call one's own. The tune is the same, but my emotions are different now.

  Xuan Qing's expression was serious and focused, yet somehow familiar. My gaze swept across his face, and for the first time, I had this thought: the person I liked, was it Xuan Ling, who was now an emperor, or that gentle and refined man who appeared amidst the blooming apricot blossoms?

  The music had not yet ended when I calmly interrupted and said: "His Highness must be in a hurry to go pay his respects to the Empress Dowager, this palace does not dare disturb him, please proceed."

  A strange and sorrowful light flashed in his eyes, and he said, "Please, Imperial Concubine." He seemed to say casually to the eunuch beside him, "I heard that the Empress Dowager has been feeling unwell with autumn dryness and has no appetite. Our royal residence often uses silver ear fungus stew to nourish her. Let's have someone fetch it from the residence and send it over later." His concern was subtle and didn't show any signs, while I stood aloof and distant.

  Nai Mo smiled and said: "This is a matter of great importance. Later, let the Nei Wu Fu choose the best ones to present to Empress Dowager."

  "That is the filial piety of the king towards the empress dowager, how can it be compared to something from the Imperial Household Department?"

  Xuan Qing smiled but didn't speak, as if she wanted to say something. In the end, she only said: "Guifei, take good care of yourself." Then she hastily left.

  Back in the Tongli Palace, I lay quietly resting, and Huanbi fanned me by my side: "I don't know if it's just my servant's overthinking, but I always feel that Mistress Qi's attitude towards Miss is a bit strange."

  I held up a garment, one hand flipping through the small clothes prepared by the palace people for the child, and softly said: "What's going on?"

  "Your servant was just being suspicious. Last winter, when the young master came to the palace, he mentioned that Guan Xi, the second brother of Princess Qi's family, would marry the second miss on Chongyang Festival. Why is it already August and there is still no movement?"

  I wasn't paying attention, only thinking that if my previous miscarriage was indeed due to the Empress and Ling Rong, then why is it so quiet this time? Despite me asking for Xuan Ling's permission to let the Empress take care of everything during my pregnancy. I smiled lightly, "In my current state, how dare anyone casually try to be related to our family?" I smoothed out my clothes and said, "Who knows if the person in charge is just watching or doesn't dare, such a relative, Yu Yao might as well not marry."

  Miss is just temporarily out of favor, how can she still be pregnant with the emperor's child? Why must they be so cruel?

  I smiled and brushed off my sleeve, saying: "You're not seeing the world's ups and downs for the first time, why get so worked up. Help me put these clothes away."

  Lan'er left at the sound of her name, but returned after a short while with a porcelain bowl in her hands. It was a bowl of silver ear fungus and dried wolfberry. She smiled: "The stewed pheasant that Miss just had wasn't fragrant, why not try this instead? I just ordered it from the small kitchen."

  "What's the point of doing this?"

  With a smile, she said: "Just now the king specially instructed that this can open the appetite, I dare not be careless."

  I understood in my heart, so I pretended to be surprised and said: "Huh? How come I didn't know that the king had instructed you?"

  "Master Wang, why mention the Empress Dowager's appetite in front of us? Earlier, Miss also mentioned that her tongue was tasteless, I'm guessing it might be related."

  I joked: "Oh, how is it that Prince Wang's words are especially clear in your ears?"

  Bai Lu's face turned red, she turned around and tied her belt, saying, "Others may not know, but I do know that the king has been taking care of us in the palace for more than a day or two, Miss, why are you joking with me?"

  I smiled and said, "Alright, alright, I'll eat it since you've put in so much effort."