Inari:

  The ever-white marble streaked through her vision as she ducked, dodged, and wove her way across the square. Being careful to avoid the spots of light cast by the bottled stars. While they had been burning for eons, they were just as strong as the day they were first formed and bottled by Vishvakarma.

  But get this, he didn’t form them because someone asked him to. The guy is scared of the darkness. Which seems silly given that he was instrumental in forming various universes out of the void. It was, is, and always will be, a place of perpetual darkness and nothingness. And while quite a few gods and goddesses could blame me for a multitude of issues, this was one I could not claim was my fault. Too bad.

  My paws barely made a sound, even to my sensitive ears, as I raced up the steps and across the threshold. While there might have been a few creatures and beings out and about, as far as I could tell none of them were nearby. With a flicker of mana, I pulled metal from various sources to form mirrors all over the walls.

  Parts cracked while others warped as the metal set into place. Unlike my far distant cousin Ptah, I didn’t care about keeping the metal clean. If anything, I encouraged it to distort as it solidified. A slight pulse of mana later and the air filled with a light cloud of metal dust. I had removed just enough to leave my creations with a shiny and highly reflective surface.

  Sure, funhouse mirrors were nothing new or all that special, but they were only the start of my shenanigans. As I controlled that bit of mana, I made my way into one of the offices at the end of the hall. The number of books was only rivaled by the number of artifacts. While all of them were enchanted in one way or another, not all of them were weapons.

  Still, I wasn’t here for any of those things. Stealing, no, touching one was akin to courting death. Odin hated when people touched his possessions without permission. Too bad he didn’t consider the feed bowl on the table as his possession. One quick curse later and each piece was coated in a thin shell of mana. One more casting and the signature disappeared from even my keen senses. Let me tell you, if I couldn’t sense magic, Huginn and Muninn wouldn’t. At least not until they were already singing random tunes in tongues.

  The office across from Odin’s was more opulent but in all the wrong ways. Statues, paintings, and books on his exploits filled the place. To make matters worse, the man freaked out if something was even a millimeter out of place. But I guess that is what you get when a self-absorbed and stuck-up god like Zeus was allowed to decorate an office. Thankfully, though, the god was as predictable as ever because if he wasn’t, I wouldn’t have a robe to modify.

  Enchanted metal pins, thin as a hair, wove into random spots throughout the fabric. On their own, they would do nothing. They were only pieces of metal. Nothing all that special, mostly. It was only when he was pissed would they would get to work.

  Last but not least, I raced into the one office that made my fur feel wet without even a drop of water touching it. In its pedestal in the corner sat a trident made of nothing but mana and filled with a planet’s worth of water. A bit of special twisting and compression later, the most expensive fork in the universe dropped onto the floor.

  With it in my mouth, I raced back out and into the next building. Unlike the stuffy offices that filled the last place, this place was one giant room. After all, how else would one go about getting the proper experience when someone played music? And what did any musician need to play music? Their instruments.

  The god's instruments were haphazardly scattered across the place. Set down after their last practice session so that they could come in and pick up from where they left off. Sure, I thought about messing with each of the things, but I didn’t really have the time. Not if I planned to get everything on my list done. So, one lyre became my target.

  Each of its strings came off in a matter of moments. Though I was careful to not over-tighten the strings, they went on nearly as fast. One illusion later and it was like I was never here.

  My luck didn’t hold out. The next room I entered was occupied and said occupant noticed me before I had time to stop and retreat. Not that he would tell anyone I was here. It seemed like Loki had targeted his brother for this year's festivities. Honestly, it wasn’t all that surprising given those two. Last year he cursed his brother's goblet to never let his drink enter his mouth. The result was a goblet that forced the liquid to either side.

  It made one hell of a mess of the god. At least the guy decided to start drinking at the dining room table and not the bonfire he usually participated in. If he had then we would have seen how the god looked without his beard.

  “Inari,” Loki nodded in my direction. His eyes tracked my movement as I dropped the fork. As I did so, I tried to come up with an idea to replace the one I had for his brother.

  “Loki,” my words came out smoothly even with my canid mouth. It's quite impressive what one can do with multiple millennia of practice. “It seems like you have your brother covered this year.”

  “Like I would let anyone else have the honor.”

  “You need to leave him to someone else or it will just be too obvious who targeted him.” My eyes rolled as I played the part of an offended party. Not that I honestly cared. I just needed his help if my new idea was to have a chance.

  “What do you want?” Wow, he was either done with my shit or something because he typically loved to banter back and forth.

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  Still, I could use this to my advantage. I just needed to be a bit more blunt than I had planned. “I want your help casting one curse.”

  “What do I get in return?” The hammer on the table seemed to melt into a puddle. It wasn’t really melted, not that hammer. It would take a forge that harnessed the heat produced at the start of a universe to do that. Likely he simply warped the thing into that shape or bent space around it.

  “I will leave your bother alone for a year.”

  He instantly countered with “A century.”

  I waved a paw at him. “Fine.” It wasn’t like a century was all that long.

  “What curse do you need help with?”

  “I wasn’t to curse every book on this plane.”

  His eyebrows lifted as his hands slid into his sweatshirt pocket. “And this curse is?”

  “Constantly moving letters, mostly. Of course, the letters will stop moving the moment someone uses mana to force them to stay still.” It was one hell of a curse when you considered how little control some of the gods have over their mana, at least when it comes to such a minuscule scale.

  “Not bad.” His hands dropped to the side as he stepped around the desk. “And I think I know just the place to set up the array.” I let out a soft breath in relief because there was no way I had the skills to create such a complex spell array. Well, I could, if push came to shove, butcher my way through the spell, but why would I do that when I had the master right here? Compared to my magical equivalent of a sledgehammer, this man was a thin needle. Someone who could get the spell to do what it needed with little to no waste.

  That isn’t to say that he is better than me. This god had to spend countless hours setting up and readying his spells and tricks, sometimes taking entire days to do so, while I simply just walked in and blasted my way to my goal.

  “Sure,” I agreed, letting him by me as I bent to grab the trident. “Just let me stop by the kitchen first.”

  While I couldn’t see his face, I heard his soft chuckling. It was soft and melodic. If not for the fact that he was destined for another, I would have considered taking him for myself simply for that laugh. Oh, the kits we would have had. The fun we could have had. “You are going to put that thing in the forks bin? Fuck, that is not nice. I like it. Sure, go do that. Meet me in the lower balcony.”

  With a nod of understanding, I padded in the opposite direction. Unsurprisingly, a few cooks were preparing ingredients in the kitchen. “Oi, if it aint trouble.” Zao Jun’s low voice echoed around me as he finished cutting something up. “Can I ask you don’t do anything in my kitchen this year?”

  I tilted my head at his words. Sure the guy likely knew I was the only one that would fuck with his work but he also knew I wouldn’t go so far as to damage his reputation or do anything to hurt him or his people.

  “Oh, don’t give me that look. While the potion you added to my morning oatmeal was a nice touch, I don’t have time to deal with angry deities. Not when your brother has so kindly asked for my help with his little project.” Wait, was my brother really going through with his little crazy experiment? If so then I needed to smack him over the head. I mean, how could he think about fucking with an entire species without me?

  In response, I simply padded over to the disk pit and dropped the trident into the dirty dish bin. “No trouble. At least not from me this year.” He snorted as we both knew how unlikely that was. “Okay, I mean I promise not to do anything to your kitchen or food. I need somewhere to eat just as much as the other gods. I was simply returning a fork I found lying around in the offices.”

  “Fine, fine. Get. I have too much to do to deal with you and your fur.” He shooed me out.

  I didn’t argue with him. I was running out of time. It was a matter of maybe a half hour before the sun rose, and with it, the pantheons would wake. I needed to be done and out of this place before they found my little presents.

  With a bit of will I used Fox Fire on the fabric of this plane. Forcing it to bend, warp, and tear under my force of will and a generous helping of mana. The moment I stepped through the circle of fire, I found myself looking out into the void. This place that Loki chose was one of the few places with a clear view of it. It was one of the reasons no one came up here which made it the perfect place to set up a spell diagram.

  “Are you sure that all you want to affect is the books? No scrolls or other loose papers?” Loki’s voice called out from behind me. As I spun in place, I found him finishing up a line of runes and sigils.

  “There is no reason to go overboard with the spell. I want to annoy the gods, not piss them off.” As I spoke, I released my fox form. Letting my magic pull, press, and alter my body until I stood there, facing the other god in my humanoid form.

  “Sometimes I think you are a bit too soft.” Was his soft murmur. Then, as if timed, the sound of a chariot racing across the sky pulled our attention to the east. Standing there, looking a bit annoyed, was Ra. One look behind his chariot was all I needed to see why he was pissed. Turns out my little light diffraction curse was working wonders. The typical white light that he tugged behind him had become a roiling disco ball of colors. Loki let out a guffawed laugh. “Then there are other times that I wish I was as bold as you. Holy hell women.”

  “We need to get this spell done, now, before the other gods start to wake.” My voice was curt as I spun to face the god.

  “Sure, sure.” He shook his head as he finished the last line. “But what is the rush? What did you do this year?”

  Internally I debated not telling him but it wasn’t like he wouldn’t know in a matter of minutes. “I may or may not have added a lovely sparkly pink dye to Fenrir’s shampoo and conditioner.”

  The laugh that elicited nearly sent the god crashing to the ground in spasms. “You. Did. Not!”

  “Yes, I did. Now, if you don’t mind. I would like to get this last trick done so that I can get out of here before the giant pink wolf uses me as a chew toy.”

  “Fine, fine.” He shook his head as he stepped out of the array of circles and symbols. “Just pour your mana in. I will deal with controlling everything.” Thank god. While I was unfamiliar with a few of the ways he twisted the channels and functions of the spell together, I could have figured it out given time. Time that I didn’t have.

  Without further ado, I poured a good helping of mana into the array. Not bothering to watch the god get to work as I turned and flung Fox Fire into the open space behind me. It stuck to the fabric of the world and worked to tear its way to my targeted destination. It opened just as a loud roar filled the air. While some of that roaring could be attributed to the mana pouring through the rip as it tried to equalize, most of the noise was from a very pissed off wolf. A wolf that that looked closer to the character my bother showed me, I think it was called the pink panther, than it does a pure white wolf god.

  The mana and anger-filled roar nearly destroyed my portal just as I stepped through. Thankfully it stayed stable long enough for me to get away from the very angry beast. Time for my little vacation. Maybe this time I would use the mountain sanctuary in the middle realms. It wasn’t like any of the other gods would be willing to visit such a remote and mana poor world.