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Chapter 48: If this magic system is real, why was I reincarnated as a damn TABLE?

  Sporchide let out a muted, measured exhale and planted his spoon against the floor. “You fight well, wind-walker,” he again rumbled, but his voice was much more measured now. “If I fought harder, perhaps this hut would no longer be standing.”

  Anders sniffed. “I’d say the same, but I have no reason to fight at full strength against an orc with a kitchenware obsession.”

  Sporchide’s brow twitched, but he remained composed. “And yet, you acknowledge my strength. As do I acknowledge yours.”

  Anders exclaimed, “A well-spoken orc! Haven’t seen too many of you lot.”

  “Hey! Don’t talk about us like that!” one of the grushkins yelped.

  Anders didn’t even glance at him. “I mean no offense, but you’re a grushkin, not an orc. You lot talk just fine. You’re just stupid.”

  Sporchide’s grip tightened around his spoon. The planks beneath his feet groaned. For a second, Blorbo could’ve sworn he saw the Spoon Sage’s muscles coil like he was ready to lunge.

  Lena shot forward, hands raised in a panic. “Wait, wait, wait! I’m sorry on my father’s behalf. We’re not here to pick a fight! We really do need your help!”

  Rob nodded. “Please. We really didn’t mean any offense.”

  Sporchide’s dark eyes darted between them, then back to Anders, whose face remained as passive as ever. “He certainly meant offense.”

  “He just misspoke!” Lena glared at Anders. “Dad! Let us do the talking.”

  Anders groaned. “Yes, I misspoke. I, in fact, meant offense.”

  Everybody sighed.

  Why does this old man have to insist on making everything so difficult?

  But damn does he fight well.

  Rob told the spoon sage, “I am terribly sorry for the trouble we’ve caused, but we just need this one piece of information, and we’ll be on our way.”

  After an agonizing pause, the orc finally let out a slow breath. “Very well,” he said. “Come inside. You came seeking knowledge, and knowledge you shall have. On one condition. You cannot disclose my location. We both know how humans feel about immigrant orckinds in their territory.”

  Anders scoffed. “Finally.” He turned to Lena and Rob. “Go untie the grushkins.”

  Lena sighed, throwing a look at Rob before the two trudged back to the wagon.

  Back at the wagon, Lena knelt down to loosen the bindings around one of the grushkins, while Rob worked on another. The creatures whined and grumbled about the rough treatment, but neither Rob nor Lena paid them much mind.

  Ducaz, meanwhile, stood off to the side with his arms folded, watching with his usual smug amusement.

  Lena huffed. “You know, you’re not contributing at all.”

  Ducaz raised a brow. “I led you here, didn’t I? That’s enough contribution.”

  Lena rolled her eyes but didn’t argue.

  As she tugged at the last knot, she shot Ducaz a sidelong glance. “Hey, you said you studied under a Rogue, right?”

  Ducaz smirked. “Not a rogue. A B-ranked rogue.”

  “So you know about the magic system, don’t you?”

  Blorbo’s non-existent ears picked up. Oho! Asking the right questions here!

  Even the system seemed to agree, as a quest immediately showed up.

  [NEW SIDEQUEST AVAILABLE: The Path to Influence (2)]

  Objective: Learn about the Realm’s primary Magic System

  Reward: +3 MP

  Prerequisite: None

  Failure: None

  Accept: YES/NO

  He accepted.

  Ducaz’s smirk widened. “What do ya wanna know?”

  “How can my dad be stealthy, control the winds, and make chains out of thin air at the same time?” Lena asked as she threw away the chain from one of the grushkins, and he immediately ran back to the hut. “Shouldn’t a mage only have one or a few affinities?”

  Ducaz leaned back further against the wagon, gesturing dramatically with both hands. “Ah, Lena, Lena, Lena. You think magic is just about affinities? Like, oh, you’re born with Fire, so now all you do is grill sausages and throw fireballs? No, no, no! That’s peasant thinking. Magic is deeper. It’s woven into reality itself.”

  Lena crossed her arms. “Then explain it, oh wise and all-knowing thief.”

  Ducaz grinned. “Gladly! Magic is built on what we call the Pillars of Reality. They’re not elements. They’re fundamental forces that shape the world. The best mages don’t just use one—they mix and match to make reality bend to their will.”

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  “What do you mean?”

  “Of course it does. I’m explaining it.” Ducaz cleared his throat and held up one hand, fingers splayed. “There are six main Pillars: Motion, Consumption, Structure, Exchange, Invocation, and Sentience.”

  Lena squinted. “That sounds fake.”

  Rob, who had been listening quietly, muttered, “Go on.”

  Ducaz counted on his fingers. “Motion controls how things move. You ever seen a mage jump three stories high or make an arrow curve in midair? That’s Motion.”

  “Bingo! But that’s not all he’s doing.” Ducaz held up a second finger. “Then there’s Consumption—the magic of taking in, absorbing, repurposing. People like Lena, with her food magic? That’s Consumption.”

  Lena gasped. “So my magic is about…reimagining what I eat?”

  Yeah. You ate a bunch of candy before summoning the Candy Dragon Queen, Lena.

  “More like turning what you eat into magic. A good Consumption Mage could gulp down a flame and breathe it back out as ice. They might even be able to absorb fire through their skin.” Ducaz flexed dramatically. “But me? I use Exchange.”

  Lena raised a brow. “Exchange?”

  “Yes! The magic of deals and trades!" Ducaz wiggled his fingers. "You give something, you get something. Magic runs on costs, and Exchange mages control what those costs are. Ever heard of a rogue vanishing from sight, only to appear behind you? They ‘pay’ their presence to gain stealth.”

  Oh, you need to disappear, so you pay away your presence! How convenient!

  Lena’s jaw dropped. “That’s—wait. Are you telling me my dad is using Exchange magic to trade something for stealth?”

  Ducaz smirked. “Possibly. I don’t know how exactly your Dad does his magic, because it can be very creative depending on the style of magic they’re taught as well as the style they come up with. But then there’s Structure.” He held up four fingers. “The magic of building, reinforcing, reshaping. Why do you think that Spoon Sage can reinforce a wooden ladle until it hits like an iron club?”

  “So my dad uses Structure to create chains?”

  “You catch on quick!” Ducaz tapped his forehead. “You’re getting it now.”

  Lena tapped her chin. “So by definition, my Dad is not using one magic type. He’s using three at once—Motion, Structure, and Exchange.”

  “And that’s what makes him dangerous.” Ducaz spread his hands. “Most people only master one Pillar.”

  Sure, okay. If this magic system is real, why was I reincarnated as a damn TABLE? Which pillar does this fall under?

  Wait. There’s Sentience. You haven’t explained, you harlot-buttock!

  Anders’ voice rang out from inside the hut. “What’s taking you so long? Finish it up and get back in here!”

  Lena paused mid-step and glanced at Rob. “Do we bring the table?”

  Blorbo nearly choked on nothing. Of course you should! I’m part of this damn family!

  Rob nonchalantly replied, “Why should we?”

  “Yeah. Let’s leave the table.”

  Lena picked up Tabby from the floor and hugged him in her chest, and they turned.

  Blorbo, still reeling, had bigger concerns. LIKE HOW THIS QUEST STILL HASN’T FINISHED.

  Even Ducaz had left him behind and joined the two. As the group filed into the hut, he internally screamed, GIVE ME ANSWERS! WHAT DO INVOCATION AND SENTIENCE PILLARS DO?!

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