Chapter Seventy-Four

  "Before I was ten years old, my father was a different person. He taught me how to speak, taught me how to read and write, held me on his shoulders to watch the fireworks during Chinese New Year, bought me my first school bag, and attended every single one of my parent-teacher conferences. I never doubted that he was my father, and when I was very young, I vowed that I would become a great person, buy him all the things he liked, and make him happy."

  "He's dead."

  He looked so distressed, even though he was calmly stating the facts, but his appearance looked so painful, as if every word after that would make him cry: "On my eleventh birthday, my mother asked me if I wanted to go with her. That's when I found out I wasn't my father's biological son. My mother was already two months pregnant with me when she married my father. She loved a man who couldn't marry her and got pregnant with him willingly, then found another poor guy to give birth to the child. Poor dad was deceived for ten years, and when the truth came out, he didn't even have a chance to choose."

  Li Jin sat down in front of him.

  "What's the use of whether I'm willing or not? I was still taken away by my mother. The man she loved could finally marry her openly and honestly, so of course she would eagerly take his son with her. As you know, that person is a triad member, ten years ago he was a penniless underling, but ten years later he became the boss, able to do as he pleased, and no one could stop him from acknowledging his own woman and child." Luo Fei's tone had never been so sharp and bitter before, but Lei Jin thought that if she were him, maybe it wouldn't be much better either. "Son? Ha, I don't want to be his son at all."

  "What he's done is no different from those vicious villains on TV. He lends money at exorbitant interest rates, collects protection fees, and his underlings casually break people's arms, leaving families ruined. One day I came home from school to see him holding someone's head underwater in the swimming pool, that person didn't even have the strength to struggle, or maybe they were already dead, while he was laughing with such excitement and arrogance. He saw me, waved at me to come over, and asked if my dad was handsome.

  Ruo Fei let out a scornful laugh, followed by a voice that was exhausted, painful, and powerless, "I've never despised someone so much - no, I even hate him, I hate that his blood runs through my veins, I'm afraid that I have such violent genes, and one day I'll become like him. If possible, I'd be willing to undergo a full-body blood transfusion or throw a disinfectant tablet into my body, just to get rid of his traces, no matter what."

  "It's still like that now," he said.

  "I miss my own dad." Luo Fei shifted his position, "I sneak out to see him after school, he still lives in the same place we used to live together, commuting on a 28-inch bicycle. When I was still by his side, he would put me on the crossbar of the bike, taking me to school in the morning and picking me up in the afternoon. If I was hungry after school, he would spend 50 cents to buy me a small rice cake at the intersection. He looks much older than before, with white hair at his temples, straightening up after locking the bike and patting his own back." Luo Fei said, "He's actually never been a successful man, even a bit pathetic. A lifetime of being a diligent but unremarkable office worker, neighbors would mock him, but he just smiled. The only success in his life was marrying the most beautiful woman in town, who gave birth to a son for him. But in the end, the woman took advantage of him, and the son wasn't even his."

  "My mom once told me that when she left with me, she gave him a large sum of money, enough for him to use until his next life, as compensation for raising someone else's son for ten years. She gave this money to my dad without any guilt, anyway she never loved him, they had been quarreling and even in a cold war for ten years, looking down on him from the bottom of her heart." Ruo Fei said, "Later I secretly went back to see him many times, he lived alone, living in an old house riding an old bicycle. Such a large sum of money, I don't know where it was spent. Occasionally, I saw him knock over a neighbor's bicycle, when helping pick it up, the neighbor saw him and sarcastically ridiculed him, saying that when he was strong and capable, his hands and feet were not agile, having a son to support in old age but still letting others raise him, accomplishing nothing, deserving of being neglected. He didn't retort, just listened like that, helping pick up the bicycle for them. I knew then, such ridicule, he must have heard countless times, already numb to it."

  "I rushed over, saying I was his son and that I would support him in his old age. The neighbor was scolded by me and left with a few choice words. But he was very surprised, even a bit flattered. He didn't ask me why I had come, but instead asked if I had eaten yet, then led me inside like before to cook noodles for me to eat. Later on, when school let out, I would often come over and sometimes wouldn't go back at night, just staying there. Anyway, that man was busy grabbing land, mom was busy wearing gold and silver attending banquets, whether I was hungry or cold, only he cared."

  "What's next?" asked Li Jin.

  "It was later discovered." Kong Fei smiled awkwardly, "That time I got carried away and stayed at his house for a whole week without planning to leave. The man finally found out and scolded me as an ungrateful wolf dog. I was 13 years old, in my rebellious phase, and refused to back down, arguing with him until he kicked me against the wall and beat me up badly, forcing me to swear that I would never see my dad again. He wouldn't let me out of the house unless I promised. This man wouldn't go easy on anyone, if he said he'd lock you up, he really would. He locked me up for over a month. Later, when I was finally released, the first thing I did was to find my dad, but his place was already empty."

  "Was it your father... no, was it that person who drove your dad away?" asked Li Jin.

  "He told people to go to my dad's workplace every day to cause trouble, and even threatened my dad, saying that if he didn't leave, he would take his life. My dad has been a pushover all his life, but this time he didn't compromise, until he heard that I was locked up," Luo Fei said. "He backed down, saying that the child would get into trouble if kept locked up like this, so let him out and I'll leave."

  "Where did he go?" asked Li Jin.

  "I didn't know, and it was only later that I managed to find out about these things. After that, I had nowhere to go and could only stay in that so-called home. The man thought I had calmed down and even introduced me to his so-called uncles, saying that I would inherit his family business in the future. I think it was then that I started having thoughts of running away from home." Luo Fei rubbed his forehead and smiled.

  "What happened afterwards?" is what really made you leave home.