“...Anyway, I pulled my pants up, paid the guy and left. Not been to an office Christmas party since.” Ash shrugged like it was just another Tuesday.

  Laughter echoed through the trees, a brief contrast to the eerie silence of the unfamiliar forest.

  The plan was simple: get to higher ground and look for anything familiar.

  The ground was slowly elevating in one direction, so that was the one they chose. There was no concept of north or south currently. The whole world was completely different now.

  They had been walking for upwards of an hour, with Theo sharing insights into his own life before the system.

  Theo smirked. “Jiu-Jitsu, Kickboxing, Combat Sambo—the whole buffet, really. In this day and age, one style’s just not enough,” he said, answering Jake’s question about what styles he knew.

  Jake nodded in understanding, “I know exactly what you mean. It took a whole three months to get my first black belt, but when I did, I never looked back. It’s good to meet a fellow martial artist.”

  Theo snorted as he caught Dan chuckling and shaking his head. “Three whole months? Wow. They must’ve fast-tracked you straight to the legendary black belt with platinum trim.”

  Without even stopping to contemplate a trap, Jake replied, “They did, actually. My Jiu-Jitsu instructor said my kicks ‘defied physics.’”

  “Are these renowned Jiu Jitsu kicks in the room with us now, Jake?” Ash asked, his tone dripping with derision.

  “Can you show me one of them?” Theo asked.

  “Alas, no. Since the change, I dare not unleash them. Even at ten percent power, the devastation would be too much.”

  They all shared a laugh, except for Ben, who wore a genuine mask of disappointment, “Aw, that’s a shame.”

  Theo, Dan, and Ash exchanged looks. Even Jake hesitated.

  Ben nodded earnestly. “I bet they’re amazing.”

  Silence.

  Ash sighed. “We need to get you tested, mate.”

  More time passed as the group climbed the increasingly steep forest, their trek becoming less of a simple hike and more like an absurd Japanese TV obstacle course.

  "Is it just me," Jake grumbled, "or is this forest actively trying to kill us?"

  A vine lazily swayed in the breeze, then slapped Dan across the face like it had personal beef with him.

  "Well, that was just uncalled for." Jake said, shaking his head in pity.

  A second vine wrapped around his ankle, sending him face-first into the dirt.

  “THE FOREST CLAIMS ANOTHER,” Ash declared, hands raised like a dramatic stage actor. “Truly, a tragic loss. Shall we forge ahead?”

  The group erupted into laughter as Jake flailed like a marionette caught in invisible strings. Theo found himself chuckling more than he had in a very long time. Every so often, an errant branch would take a cheap shot at them, swinging unexpectedly into a shoulder or an unsuspecting face, earning a mix of yelps, groans, and muttered curses.

  Theo, however, had begun to adjust. After a few early miscalculations, he kept his mesh device passively charged at all times. The last time a branch had tried to smack him, it simply snapped against him, the force barely registering. Finding the right balance between energy expenditure and recharge was a work in progress, but he was getting the hang of it.

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  Still, he wasn’t even sure how the stored energy replenished itself when he wasn’t taking hits. Solar energy made sense, but even at night, the levels slowly crept back up. Something to figure out later.

  Above them, an off-key bird warbled its way through the canopy, absolutely butchering whatever song it was attempting. The sound was so uniquely terrible that even the surrounding wildlife themselves seemed momentarily offended.

  Ash groaned. “I swear I can actually feel my health pool diminishing from that god-awful racket.”

  "Aw, come on, guys." Dan smiled up at the bird. “I think it has a certain charm. It’s like it’s cheering us on!”

  Ben winced. “If that’s cheering us on, I’d hate to hear it rooting against us.”

  “Bold of you to assume it isn’t.” Jake dusted himself off, eyes darting around suspiciously. “Maybe it’s a warning. What if it’s trying to tell us something—like, ‘Turn back now, fools’?”

  "Or," Theo cut in dryly, "maybe it's just a really bad singer."

  The playful banter carried them forward, softening the ache of their climb. Theo found himself settling into the rhythm of the group, something he had longed for since even before the system changed everything.

  At some point, he caught himself thinking about Erasmus. He knew he'd come off as ungrateful when he left, but standing here—laughing, moving, being part of something—he was sure. This had been the right decision.

  He'd missed this.

  The group stumbled into a part of the forest where the trees turned into a tangled assemblage of vines and glowing fungi, like nature had gone full celebration mode. The undergrowth pulsed with eerie, bioluminescent colours, casting the whole scene in a ghostly rave of greens and blues.

  Dan held one hand in the air, a signal to stop as he surveyed the surroundings. “I’m wondering if perhaps it might be best to turn back and find an alternate route.”

  Ben moved to his right as he attempted to avoid walking straight into the Captain, causing him to stumble.

  It wasn’t just a stumble, though—it was a full-body betrayal. His foot got tangled in a root the size of his forearm, sending him hurtling straight into a giant, luminescent mushroom.

  The mushroom shuddered like it and its family had just been personally offended, then promptly exploded into a dazzling cloud of glowing spores, showering everything in psychedelic fairy dust.

  Within seconds, the entire clearing turned into a chaotic fever dream.

  Dan, suddenly inspired, decided this was the perfect time to lead an aggressively off-key victory chant. "WE—ARE—THE CHAMPIONS!" he bellowed, punching the air like he’d just won a world title.

  Meanwhile, Jake had dropped to his knees, staring at his hands. "Guys," he whispered reverently, eyes wide. "I can see... the universe. The answer to everything. 42 is a lie."

  "Really?" Ash asked, swaying slightly. "W… what is it?"

  Jake’s brows furrowed. “Uh… I don’t… know. I forgot.”

  Ash, already detached from the conversation, turned his attention to a tree and started slow dancing with it. "You understand me," he muttered, forehead pressed against the bark intimately.

  Theo, still the only sane one, watched the madness unfold with a growing sense of dread.

  His ocular implant confirmed what he already suspected: these spores were magical as hell.

  He ran through his training for psionic warfare, trying to determine if they were under attack or it was a defence mechanism purely from the impact.

  Dan was now doing frantic pushups with absolutely no form, yelling random numbers that had no connection to reality. "SEVENTY-TWELVE! TWENTINGTON!"

  Theo turned, already psychologically exhausted, only to find Ben—gigantic, battle-hardened Ben—hiding behind a tree. More specifically, peeking out from behind it in the least subtle way possible, staring at him like a deer caught in very judgmental headlights.

  Theo took a cautious step to the left. Ben shifted.

  Theo stepped right. Ben matched him, still staring.

  It was like a poorly executed game of peekaboo, except one of the participants was a 300-pound warrior who could probably knock a building out cold.

  “Ben? What’s going on, big guy?” Theo asked cautiously.

  Ben’s eyes widened. He ducked lower, as if that would somehow help, and whispered, “Hiding.”

  Theo nodded with false empathy, “Behind a tree? That you’re bigger than?”

  Ben nodded solemnly, still staring. Theo exhaled slowly. “Right. Of course.”

  Finally, Theo sighed, rubbing his temples.

  He had two options: Leave them here to become permanent forest weirdos, or figure out how to get them out of this mess before they started worshiping the trees.

  He really, really wished he had a third option.