Theo squinted at the shimmering motes that clung stubbornly to the clearing, their eerie glow turning the place into a makeshift rave that nobody had signed up for. There was no sign these spores were about to pack up and leave.

  "Right, listen up, you lot!" he barked, his tone a curious blend of amused exasperation as his semi-conscious crew swayed behind him like drunken marionettes. "This isn’t a rave—it’s a death trap. We need to get out of here before something comes knocking."

  Jake mumbled something about dancing tree spirits—though his words were more a garbled mumble than coherent advice—while Ash, barely managing to keep upright, piped in, "You're overreacting. This is where we’re meant to be."

  Theo rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Wrong. We’re in a glowing jungle from hell, you lot are clearly on another level right now, and who knows what else is lurking about. We need to get out of here."

  As they stumbled after him, Theo’s inner monologue raced: Why did I have to become the designated babysitter for a bunch of half-conscious morons? My God, is this how Erasmus felt?

  Before he could dwell on it too long, Dan sprang forward to back him up. "You heard Dad—fall in, boys, or we’re all getting grounded!" he roared. Ben, ever the slow mover, crawled over to plant himself right in front of Dan’s feet, earning a series of affectionate head pats and a nod of approval.

  Ash and Jake, still adrift in their own muddled world, grabbed each other’s hands and skipped along as if on a merry little parade.

  “Uh… Kay. We should head back the way we came and avoid those glowing bits, alright?” Theo suggested, glancing around warily. The jungle was too quiet, too still. That was never a good sign.

  Ben and Jake nodded, and Ash added with a cheery fist pump, "Sure thing, boss!"

  Then, with a sudden scowl and an exaggerated pull-back of his right hand as if he were about to deliver a pompous slap to any dissenters, Dan bellowed, "DON'T ARGUE WITH THE MAN!"

  Theo spun around, astonished by Dan’s sudden, authoritarian outburst—so uncharacteristic of the usually merry team leader. “Chill, Dan. Jesus, they agreed,” he said, shaking his head in disbelieving exasperation.

  Now that Dan’s impromptu tyranny had, albeit grudgingly, rallied the group, Theo’s steely glare cut through the surreal, glowing haze. It was clear they had no choice but to seek a safer route—one that wouldn’t leave them permanently addled by LSD spores.

  The trek to escape the hallucinogenic trap they’d stumbled into wasn’t far, but that didn’t mean the journey ahead would be any easier.

  Once the last of the glowing foliage was behind them, Theo scanned the terrain for a way to follow the upward slope without veering straight into another psychedelic drug den.

  Ash, never the carefree one, began a slow, deliberate roll down the slope—unperturbed by the offended sticks and prickly stones that jabbed at him. Meanwhile, Jake and Ben burst into raucous laughter.

  "I’LL SAVE YOU!” Dan bellowed, launching himself forward with all the grace of a catapulted potato.

  He overshot spectacularly, hitting the ground in a rolling heap. By the time he stopped, his trousers had betrayed him, pooling at his knees, while his arms flailed uselessly like he was still mid-rescue."

  Theo sighed inwardly. He had no idea how he was supposed to lead a group, let alone one that was about as mentally sharp as a satsuma. Yet, here he was, forging ahead with nothing but determination and a dash of bemused resignation.

  After what felt like an eternity herding the clueless adventurers, Theo finally had them all standing up, no rear ends showing and all paying what attention they had.

  “Please guys, just, come on, be smart. Follow me and don’t chase anything shiny or listen to your inner voice,” he begged, eyeing each of them with desperation.

  Theo decided to move to the left of the danger zone in his bid to ascend.

  This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.

  He wasn’t sure whether or not to simply stay put and wait for the effects on his comrades to wear off, but he didn’t know how long that might take or how far they needed to be from the spores.

  For the next little while, they trudged through the forest—a surreal, almost cosmic party of glowing flora and erratic shadows that made you wonder if you’d wandered into a midnight disco for acid-tripping fairies.

  Their inebriation slowly began to lift, though their minds and bodies were still operating on “don’t ask, don’t tell” mode.

  Ash, ever the nature critic, kept stopping to admire utterly generic rocks and twigs as if they were avant-garde sculptures. “That’s a nice pebble, isn’t it? There’s a quiet dignity and poise to it,” he’d muse in a tone that was both profound and completely nonsensical, while his feet shuffled along in a clumsy, off-beat waltz.

  Meanwhile, Jake had taken on the role of an impromptu book narrator—narrating his fellow travellers' inner monologues with a flair for the dramatic.

  Every time someone mumbled something, he’d interject with an exaggerated dialogue tag. His commentary, delivered with the self-assuredness of a seasoned narrator, such as Travis Bowltree or Daniel Wazowski, turned each minor moment into a highlight reel of absurdity.

  Ben, who moved with the energy of an incredibly lethargic tortoise, sighed heavily, “How much longer?”

  His words, slow and drawn-out, were promptly met with Jake’s deep, theatrical retort: “Ben queried, much to the ire of Theo and the rest of the intrepid crew!”

  Ben then flung a listless arm in Jake’s direction—missing entirely—before resigning himself to his sluggish pace.

  Dan, ever the hyperactive spark, bounced ahead at random intervals, shouting, “Keep up, chaps!” His enthusiastic cries were typically followed by a sudden silence, as if his own energy had inexplicably drained off into the void, only to return moments later.

  And then there was Theo, more annoyed at the fact he wasn’t inebriated like the others than by the absurdity of his babysitting duties or the psychedelic spectacle around him. They looked like they were having a grand old time! Well… Except Ben.

  As the group meandered through the expansive forest, their staggered steps gradually became more coordinated. The fog of intoxication began to lift to the point embarrassment began to seep in as the antics dried up.

  Eventually, the trees parted to reveal a sheer cliff face—a natural balcony jutting out over the sprawling landscape. Theo led his reluctant squad up a narrow, winding path carved into the rock.

  At the summit, the view took everyone’s breath away. Before them stretched an expansive panorama: crystalline formations, winding rivers of molten silver and, of course, the sprawling forest they found themselves inhabiting already.

  There were a few large birds flapping in the distance. Theo wasn’t sure whether they were passive, but he was pretty certain he didn’t want to make their acquaintance any time soon.

  Dan, currently holding up better than the others, or at least pretending to be, placed a hand on Theo’s shoulder and pointed off into the distance.

  Theo followed the direction of the gesture and his gaze landed on another cliff face in the distance.

  “That’s home. Dawnmere is at the top of that cliff,” Dan said warmly.

  “Thank God. I’m extremely ready for this to be over,” Theo replied, torn between excitement and exhaustion.

  Dan looked back at the rest of the beleaguered group as he pondered their next decision. “Chaps, how are we feeling? You want to set up camp here and rest for a bit, or soldier on?”

  Ash retrieved a water bottle from either his storage space or… somewhere less comfortable—Theo wasn’t certain. He took a sip and peered over the edge of the cliff, “Resting now means we will likely have to be travelling at night, I would imagine?”

  Dan nodded before adding, “Aye. Or camping again through the night before we get home.”

  Jake winced at the thought. “I think I’d rather press on now than spend another night out here. You all smell horrific.”

  Ben craned his neck and took a deep sniff before grimacing. “He’s not wrong. It’s pretty toasty in here,” he said, patting his armour as if it were a portable sauna.

  “You don’t need any help smelling awful,” Ash chimed in kindly.

  Ben’s eyes darted around, trying to salvage some dignity. “Yeah, well—you don’t need any help being… uh, as strong as me?” he blurted, the words trailing off into an awkward silence as he waited for applause that never came.

  “Thanks, mate. I appreciate the vote of confidence,” Ash added with a light-hearted clap on Ben’s back, forcing a laugh.

  Ben’s face froze in a mix of confusion and embarrassment, his comeback sinking faster than a stone in a pond. Theo could almost hear the clunky jingle of a computer rebooting as Ben’s brain desperately tried to process what had just happened.

  Dan maintained an awkward posture as he waited for the back and forth to stop.

  When it was clear Ben had nothing, he interjected, “So… all in favour of pushing on now and hopefully getting back before nightfall?”

  Everyone raised their hands, including Theo, causing Dan to nod eagerly and point to the right of the cliff face. “Then we have our heading. Looks like that side slopes down eventually and takes us in the right direction. Let’s do it!” he yelled, his positivity spreading through all of the members of the team almost supernaturally.