— CHAPTER THIRTY —

  My Weaknesses are Loss of Blood and Chocolate

  -Fritz-

  Surrounding Celestia Grand was a massive stone wall. The thing was built off the same proportions as the Citadel, so it was approaching a hundred feet tall at its lowest points. The wall's shadow engulfed the neighborhoods on the edge of the city, and standing up against it, I was the tiniest little speck standing with my arm outstretched.

  *Bang!*

  A bullet slammed into my arm, striking right beside a line of dents and holes already bored through the armor I was wearing. Well, technically, I always wore it, but it was cosmetically hidden under the Hawaiian shirt. Anyway, I flinched as the shot pierced through the steel and stung my arm.

  "Ok, definitely felt that one!" I called out, shaking out my arm.

  Across the yard, Lucy lowered her new revolver.

  I pulled out a tape measure and took the diameter of the new hole, then checked the back side and measured the exit wound - that was the first bullet to get through both sides. "Clean penetration." I announced, getting a notebook out of my belt and writing down the numbers.

  "Do we need to go any thinner, then?" Lucy asked.

  Percy said, "Try a couple more - see if there's any variance in the wound size."

  The whole endeavor had been the kid's idea - systematically testing the penetration of Lucy's revolver on my armor to get a sense of its capabilities. Normally he'd be the one recording and looking at the data, but he was currently confined to a wheelchair parked off to the side of the yard we were borrowing. After the Florin incident, his body had regrown down to the waist, and his arms currently ended at the elbows. He couldn't do much but sit there and watch, and he was currently reading the newspaper I had laid out on the table beside him.

  I put the notebook away, then took out a sharpie and drew a circle on the next spot down the line. "We're down to 1/16th of an inch here." Pressing my arm against the wall, I held it steady and braced for impact. The revolver clicked as Lucy raised it and took aim.

  "Hey, Perce -" I asked, "- what's Courtney got for us today?"

  "The street musicians started their tour." he said. "They're playing in Falconworth tonight - that snowy city up north. There's going to be a whole winter-themed party out on the ice in the bay."

  "Huh. And here I thought people would be trying to get away from the cold."

  "They already had the summer's end beach party last month."

  "Oh yeah." I looked to Lucy. "Did you go to that? Percy and I were busy doing some environmental cleanup."

  Lucy kept her eyes trained on her target, lining up her shot with intense focus. "No, I was in my first dungeon."

  "All day?" I asked. "Are the dungeons that long?"

  "We ran it repeatedly - a dozen or more times."

  Percy continued to read, "The Guard have scheduled a public announcement for October 31st. Looks big."

  "Nah, I said give me Courtney's column!" I whined.

  *Bang!* The shot rang out.

  "Ah!" That one stung like I wasn't wearing anything at all. "Jesus; yeah, there's variance!" As I measured the wound, I mumbled, "Please tell me you don't need a control test on bare skin."

  Percy cleared his throat and said, "So, listen up because I've got the scoop on some Vanguard drama that's hotter than the steam baths in the Line of Fire (I'll tell you more about those when I get back from my vacation next week!)

  "Unfortunately, this one's not so good. I've heard it from a frustrated insider that there's been a major snag in the Vanguard. Progress has come to a screeching halt, and everyone's lips are sealed tight. There's an air of miffed exasperation whiffing around the bars where the Vanguard regulars hang out after hours.

  "But why all the hush-hush? Could it be a betrayal within their ranks? Or maybe a scandalous love triangle? Oh, the possibilities are endless! If you know more, do tell! Let's hope they untangle whatever mess they're in quickly, because we all know how important it is for them to get back in action and keep those Citadel bosses on their toes!"

  I chuckled. "I wonder how real that one is."

  Lucy lowered her gun. "Oh, it's real alright. There's an argument between two of the guilds over who has the right to one of the boss fights - Tempest and Steel Rage." Her eyebrows furrowed as she launched into a rant. "The whole system is engineered toward dysfunction - absolutely no thought or moderation from the Guard! It's bred a lack of cooperation between the groups and allowed inefficient management to clog things up!"

  I eyed the revolver she was waving around angrily. "Is that why you wanted a break?"

  Lucy took a deep breath, composing herself. "Yes. Tempest refused to listen to my advice, even when they were the ones assigning me to the analysis job!" And we were right back to shouting while pointing a gun at me. "Their tactics are downright irresponsible! People have died in every single boss fight, but when I suggest integrating the methods used by the smaller guilds to help them succeed despite their lack of resources, they aren't even willing to experiment with it!"

  Flipping the pistol around on her finger, she pointed at me with the handle. "I have a theory - that bosses can be broken down in mechanical ways to neuter their danger. You know, like how cutting an arm off hinders a person, or cutting most things' heads off will instantly kill them."

  "Or people can be trimmed down to busts." Percy added, leaning forward to flip the newspaper's page with his nose.

  "Exactly!" Lucy shouted.

  "But does that work on bosses?" I asked.

  "I haven't been able to test it thoroughly, but I've seen elements of physical exploitation in the boss fights I was assigned to watch." Lucy said. "And despite my recommendations, Tempest isn't willing to glance at the idea!"

  "We need more data." Percy looked up from the paper. "Dungeons offer repeatable boss fights that can be used for multiple trials."

  Lucy shook her head. "Dungeon bosses aren't on the same scale of difficulty as Citadel bosses."

  "It's about the proof of concept. We need to see how far the game's combat mechanics can be pushed. Start with the small fish - dungeon bosses - then move up to testing in the Citadel. Dungeons are built for 5-man parties. Between the three of us, we can take one below our level."

  Lucy paused, considering. Then, slowly, she nodded. "Alright."

  So we packed up, and I pushed Percy over to the train station so we could catch the train out to Stonehearth City. From there, Lucy lead us out to Luto Gorge. I remembered it from when Percy and I were rushing through levels with that crossbow - it was part of the 'statically written' story of the zone.

  To guide players through the zones as they leveled and make sure the game didn't happen to skip them over with all the dynamic quests, there was a set of hard-written quests that spanned the zone. They also provided context for many of the dungeons. This one centered around a hostage situation - separatists threatening to blow up a dam and flood the river valley if the regional government didn't acknowledge their independence movement. The army couldn't go in or they would blow the dam, so it was the player's job to sneak in and take out the terrorists.

  Percy and I had originally skipped it because there was only the two of us and we didn't want to risk it. Now, however, with Lucy added to the group and all three of us well over the place's level, it should have been manageable.

  We veered off the main road that passed over the dam's top onto a side path that burrowed down toward the dam's side, ending at the misty blue portal marking the dungeon entrance. Holographic signs floating in front warned that it was intended for a group of level 15 players, but we strolled right past them and entered on in. The textures disappeared from the world momentarily as we were loaded into a private instance.

  Now, mobs.

  As with most games, there was a general hierarchy to the difficulty of enemies. Regular mobs that you find wandering all over the world were at the bottom. They were chumps intended to be churned through. Any ol' Joe Schmo could take down a small group of them alone. Some of them were tougher than others, usually the leader of a squad of normal guys, but they're still generic dweebs. Like good ol' Torglax.

  Above that would be dungeon mobs. They're strong - maybe more than a match for a lone player, but still generic.

  Then you had your unique mobs - story bosses and significant things. Usually spawned by or linked to a quest of some sort.

  Above that, then, was dungeon bosses. Unique enemies intended to occupy the full attention of a group of players and with more-intensive skills and mechanics. They were very much a threat to anyone - only a dedicated tank could take more than a few hits from them.

  Then way up at the top was raid bosses - including world bosses and those in the Citadel. They were something else entirely with unique nameplates and mechanics.

  By the time we had gotten to the dungeon, Percy had fully regenerated his arms, but was still missing legs. As I pushed him into the dungeon, he held up a notebook with a table of mob damage efficacy he'd drawn up.

  "We know from experience that named mobs don't suffer instant death if they're decapitated. The neck simply... doesn't cut, even if all the texture is removed. You can still blind them and remove their arms to effectively kill them, but there's always extra effort required. On the other end, during the Oxtongue fight, I shot it right in the eye and it barely flinched. Yet Lucy reports Doughnuts Per Second was able to significantly damage their gator boss during their battle. Our job here is to fill out the rest of the table - to determine the granularity of damage different ranks of monster are able to sustain."

  This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

  "You just tell me where I need to be, man." I said. Now that Percy had his arms back, he could steer his wheelchair himself, and his magic didn't require intense movement, so I figured he could manage on his own. Stepping away, I fixed up my gear for combat. First, get the Hawaiian shirt back on - the armor was way too hard to move in. Then for weapons, I had my lance in my main hand and, since we were testing dismemberment, I threw a short sword into my off hand.

  Seeing me swapping out of my armor, Lucy asked, "Fritz, are you really going to fight dressed like that?"

  "Yeah, it's way more comfortable! You should try it sometime!"

  She just shook her head, stowing her pistol and swapping to her battle armor with her bow as her weapon.

  The cave entrance led into a winding tunnel, moisture glistening on the rocky walls. Our footsteps, and the squeaking wheels of Percy's chair, echoed through the passage as we delved into the dungeon.

  Soon the tunnel opened up into a chamber, dimly lit by powered lanterns fixed on either side of a heavy iron door emblazoned with the word 'MAINTENANCE'. And there in front of it stood a small group of thugs. Burly dudes, armed to the teeth, just waiting for some adventurers to bust in and ruin their day.

  Percy wheeled up beside me. "Alright, let's first try to execute them by decapitation. I want to see if instant kills are tied to the monster's rank or their uniqueness."

  "You got it, boss man."

  "Cold Snap!" Percy summoned and launched a ball of icy mist that washed over the ground. In an instant, the thugs' feet were encased in ice, locking them in place. They shouted in surprise and struggled against the frozen shackles to no avail.

  Lucy nocked an arrow, the tip glowing with arcane energy. She let it fly, striking one thug right between the eyes. He howled in pain, thrashing against the ice. I charged in, lance leveled at the chest of the biggest, ugliest goon. The tip punched through his leather armor, impaling him against the rock wall.

  As he gurgled and flailed, I slashed my sword across his neck. The guy's body was, uh... tougher than a regular mobs'. But once I'd severed his head completely, he exploded into dust like any other. We made short work of the rest of the group.

  Writing notes on his table, Percy said, "Beautiful. That'll make this super quick." He drew his sword, then used a belt pouch to respawn and unequip it, flipping it around and holding the hilt out to Lucy. "Here, Lu. It'll do you better than a bow for this."

  Lucy took it and gave it a few swings. "Hmm. Alright then." Letting her bow despawn, she equipped her revolver in her off-hand.

  I tossed Percy the old mini-crossbow. "In case you need the backup, take that."

  "Oh, you still have this?"

  "Of course! It's a trophy from our first quest together!"

  "Alright, thanks."

  Lucy took point as we proceeded through the now unguarded door and further into the dam's underbelly. We quickly cut through the maintenance tunnels, Lucy calling out trap and ambush locations from her previous farming runs.

  "There are three bosses throughout the instance," she explained, "and the first one is coming up past this door."

  We entered into a wide open chamber, stepping out onto a catwalk that crossed over giant churning vats of water. Massive brass pipes snaked through the space, some pouring waterfalls from high openings. The air felt thick, almost sticky against my skin. Glancing around, I saw the atmosphere was dense with colorful sparks and wisps dancing like fragments of aurora. A magical overdensity.

  "Is this a... hydroelectric plant?" I asked, looking at the turbines below us.

  Percy, reading the local Protectorate's Player Guide, said, "Hydromagic, it looks like. Says here it provides power to most of the Stonehearth Plains." He looked up thoughtfully. "Come to think of it, there was a hydromagic plant under that bridge in Florin, too. I wonder how that works - are they pulling the magic out of the water itself, or is there a mechanically induced magic field effect going on, like an electromagnet?"

  I chuckled and shook my head. "I don't think you're supposed to think about it that hard, Perce."

  "Are you sure?" he asked. "What if harvesting magic from the water can lure things out of the depths, like that creature from the Star Marsh? That was an overdensity as well."

  "Let's... suggest that to the Protectorate to look into another time."

  In the center of the room, atop a large platform with water cascading down one side, stood a woman in bulky goggles and a technician's jumpsuit. She was operating some machine that seemed to be siphoning the magic pulled from the water and feeding it into large crystalline charge packs lining the platform's edge. I recognized her immediately - the separatists' chief engineer. During the zone storyline, she was responsible for retrofitting mining equipment into weapons to fight the army.

  Lucy gave a rundown of the mechanics. "She's going to throw crystals that leave various effect fields - electricity's the worst; it will stun you. When her health gets low, she'll break that siphoning machine, causing lightning discharges to cut across the room. Both attacks are choreographed, so stay out of the way. Other than that... it's a straightforward fight."

  "Ok." Percy said. "Let's start by double-checking if this type of boss is affected by instant kills. Attempt to decapitate her first. After that, work down - try the limbs, blinding her, etcetera. I'll handle the healing."

  He positioned his wheelchair near the platform's edge while Lucy stalked around the side, moving to flank the boss from behind. I looked to Lucy and counted down on my fingers. Three, two, one. On zero, I flipped my spear around and hurled it at the woman. It stuck clean through her gut with a thunk.

  She reacted with little more than a stumble, turning to face me with a shout. "How did you get in here?! Guards, alert Caspian; I'm not done setting the charges!"

  A crackling bolt of lightning shot from her hands straight at me. I hit the deck, feeling the heat of the electricity as it passed overhead, then pushed to my feet, sword at the ready. Before I could close the gap, the boss whirled and lobbed a glowing red crystal at Percy.

  He couldn't maneuver his wheelchair out of the way in time and had to use Blink to teleport to safety. The crystal clattered against the grating and began to pulse ominously. A moment later, it exploded in a burst of flames, setting Percy's empty wheelchair and the surrounding platform ablaze. Grumbling under his breath, Percy crawled toward the railing, trying to get clear of the spreading fire.

  Meanwhile, Lucy had managed to get behind the boss. She lunged forward, stabbing her blade clean through the back of the woman's neck, then wrenched it out the side with a vicious yank. Only a bit of neck remained. I dashed in, sword flashing, and finished the decapitation with one clean slice.

  As expected, she didn't instantly die. Her neck was completely detextured but still very much attached and functional.

  I darted in, aiming for the boss's outstretched arm as she prepared to hurl another crystal. She let it fly, straight at Percy as he was using the railing to prop himself up.

  "You mother-!" he swore. In one fluid motion, he drew the mini-crossbow and fired. The bolt intercepted the crystal mid-air, sending it spinning off the edge of the platform where it exploded harmlessly. "Hah! Eat it!"

  Lucy seized the opportunity. She grabbed the boss's arm, planting her boot on the woman's chest to hold it taut. I hacked at the limb with my sword, sawing through. Finally, I cut through, but, just like the head, it didn't despawn.

  "No dice on dismemberment either!" I called out.

  Lucy pulled out her pistol and put a round right into the boss's forehead. The mob grunted and staggered slightly. "There's a reaction!" Lucy shouted excitedly.

  "Try the eyes!" Percy yelled from his spot by the railing.

  Lucy jammed the barrel of her gun against the boss's eye and pulled the trigger. The woman let out an agonized scream, hands flying up to clutch at her ruined face.

  "Perfect!" Percy cheered. "Now break her fingers, see if she can still throw those gems!"

  I stood back, sword lowered, and just watched as the kids took the mob apart piece by piece with a disturbing level of enthusiasm. "Jesus Christ, guys, you don't have to be so excited about this."

  But they were on a roll now, caught up in the thrill of... 'science'. Within a minute, they had the boss in a crumpled heap - blinded, crippled, unable to fight back in any way.

  Lucy, having just finished breaking the woman's ankles with the hilt of her sword, shouted, "I told you! I told you there's an easy way to kill these things! We could've been farming this place at least twice as fast!"

  I leaned against the railing, shaking my head as I lit up a joint. Took a long drag, letting the smoke blow through the overdensity filaments as I watched them continue their grisly work.

  This game, man... These kids, man... We should have picked a dungeon with non-human enemies.

  "Get clear!" Percy shouted suddenly.

  Lucy jumped back as the kid chucked one of the backpacks filled with charged crystals at the downed boss. A moment later, a bolt of magic shot from his fingers, detonating the pack in a blinding flash that sent shockwaves rippling through the mana in the air.

  "So it's not just physically damaging them - we can also use their own environments against them." Percy observed as the smoke cleared, revealing the badly scorched - but still alive - woman. "Anyway, got any more ideas for this one?"

  Lucy, panting, shook her head. "I think I'm done."

  I just rolled my eyes skyward. This was so beyond messed up.

  "Towering Inferno!" Percy ended the fight with his fire tornado.

  Lucy recoiled with a yelp, shielding her face from the heat. "Holy- where'd you get that one?!"

  "Max-level Pyromancer spell." Percy replied nonchalantly as the inferno consumed the last of the woman's health, reducing her to glimmering dust. That reminded me I still had to do those mage class quests so I could start leveling my own magic classes.

  Anyway, the boss was toast, no sweat. Percy's wheelchair, once picked up and respawned from his inventory, was perfectly intact. And so we continued on.

  The rest of the dungeon run played out in similar fashion - the kids wreaking absolute havoc, tearing through mobs with a brutality that bordered on sadism. Even the dungeon's second boss, a big stone golem with a hard hat and hi-vis vest, was no match for their 'experimental' tactics.

  The final stretch brought us to the dam's surface, into the control room where the separatist leader was making his last stand. Percy wheeled himself into the room.

  "So we've established that it takes a bit more elbow grease, but serious bodily harm is definitely possible for dungeon bosses." He recapped unemotionally. "And as we saw with the archers in the Oxtongue fight, magic packs in the turbine room, and forklift in the golem room - the environment and game mechanics can be played with. There's just one more thing I want to test."

  "What's that?" I asked.

  Rather than answer, Percy rolled right up to the boss - Caspian. The man sat slumped in his chair, eyes distant as he watched the banks of flickering monitors. I remembered this guy from the story - he'd been hell-bent on carving out a free state, apart from the King's rule. Now... he just looked broken. Already defeated.

  "Hello there!" Percy greeted brightly with a little wave.

  Caspian slowly swiveled to face us. His expression was haggard, eyes devoid of hope.

  Taking a professionally firm tone, Percy said, "Caspian... it's over. The cause is lost - you can't destroy the dam, and your men are dead. There's nothing left to do now but turn yourself in. Just... let's end this peacefully, alright?"

  The separatist leader lowered his gaze, eyes drifting shut as he exhaled a ragged sigh. "I see that. But... if you'd permit me, I'd rather die fighting than in the gallows." He pushed himself to his feet and squared off against us. "For the pride and honor of my friends, my allies, and all those who fought to bring us this far... I demand a fight to the death."

  Percy nodded solemnly. "Very well."

  He backed his wheelchair away, leaving the actual fight to Lucy and me.

  Afterward, Lucy said, "That was not the same fight as when I was here last. He used more underhanded tactics then - using the monitoring consoles to flood the room with mana, throwing wrenches to daze the back line."

  Percy said, "So there's not no purpose in trying to talk to them, but there is a line the game will not cross. He is destined to be a boss fight. Interesting..." He clapped his hands. "Alrighty then! Let's get out of here."

  I grabbed the handles of Percy's wheelchair and pushed him out onto the top of the dam. The air smelled fresher up here, tinged with spray from the churning water far below. Lucy jogged over to the flagpole and hoisted up the banner of Stonehearth.

  "There's the signal." she said. "The army will see that and come clean this mess up."

  Further down the road, a misty blue portal formed - the exit back out to the open world. Passing through it, we popped out atop the dam again, this time back in the normal zone with civil control reestablished. Taking a moment there, we looked out at the wide river valley stretched out before us. Golden farmland and quaint villages dotted the banks. Out in the distance, that ominous black spire stuck up out of Stonehearth City.

  "You were absolutely right, Luce." I said. "Unique mobs, even bosses, can be disabled with enough targeted damage. Makes the fights a lot easier."

  "Mhmm." she hummed, pleased with herself. "Work smarter, not harder, I say."

  "So now what do we do?" I asked. "Get this over to the Protectorate?"

  "Now..." Percy said, "we observe Sylvia."