“I thought you said that thing was unbeatable!” Tabitha screamed directly in the face of the head recruiter.

  “It should have been ma’am,” he replied, much more calmly. “It would take at least a silver ranked team to take it down under normal circumstances.”

  “Normal circumstances?” She growled, her face turning a nasty shade of scarlet as spittle flew from her lips. “You decrepit, brainrotted, cockwomble! This was far from fucking normal. Those adventurers knew exactly how to defeat your so-called unkillable monster. They worked it out after a single attempt. Do you have any idea of the trouble we’re about to be in, can your tiny, insignificant mind even begin to comprehend how royally fucked I’m about to be? And not in the good way!”

  Just as she finished her speech, taking a deep breath, she looked towards the portal platform which connected to the underground maze. It glowed a terrifying blue. An ocean of misery was about to wash her away and she knew it. Her heartbeat quickened.

  “Quickly, form a defence. Defend me Bertinald, defend your master!”

  Bertinald, the head recruiter, scoffed and rolled his dark, bloodshot eyes at her. “I’m sorry ma’am, but my tiny, insignificant mind can’t even begin to comprehend such a complicated task.”

  “Bertinald, stop screwing around and take up a defensive position, now!”

  “I shall,” he said, a sly smile creeping up one side of his scarred mouth. “I hear Nyx is on a hiring spree. I think I might just apply for a role.”

  “Bertinald!” She shrieked, her voice cascading all around the small, raised room like a mother bird calling after a falling nest of eggs. “Please, I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean those things I said. You wouldn’t leave me here would you? You wouldn’t leave me to be imprisoned and tortured by these people. P-please I’ll pay… yes that’s right, I’ll pay you five percent of the profits we make. For someone of your station that must be an absolute fortune.”

  In a flash of smoke he disappeared from the room and Marquess Tabitha was left standing all alone. Heart racing, breath coming in rasps, she began to shake.

  “Looks like your friend isn’t coming back.”

  She jumped, almost out of her skin. Lunging forwards as a firm hand gripped the back of her neck. She strained to see who it was, but there was nothing there. An invisibility spell? Just who are these people?

  At that same moment, three of the adventurers from the maze stepped out of the shimmering blue portal. A huge lycanid covered in blood and baring his fangs. A psychotic-looking fire mage with a small, marble sized, ball of flame hovering above each finger as she cracked the knuckles of her other hand into her palm. A man in a trench coat; the only one of them who looked even remotely professional, with an emotionless, dry expression. And a panda, covered in the hydra’s gore and looking rather agitated.

  Where’s the other one? She thought frantically, her pulse threatening to pop her veins as it violently thrashed within them. Is he the one behind me? In the name of the gods, who are these people?

  “Please, don’t hurt me,” she pleaded, dropping to her knees. The invisible hand letting her. “I’m sorry, I’ll pay, I’ll give you anything you want. Just let me go.”

  “The only thing we want is death,” the disembodied voice said calmly from behind her. Her blood ran cold, this was it, she was about to die. That’s not what she had expected. What happened to the law? Regina’s law. He didn’t usually kill people; he saw them as a resource he always had.

  Why me? Why now?

  A blade punctured the back of her neck, sticking out of the front. She felt it severing her spine, it was cold, and then all she could feel was agonising pain. It was as if she was being boiled from the inside of her throat. She tried to scream but the only sound that escaped her mouth was gurgling and the rhythmic splashing of falling blood as it ran from her mouth like a waterfall.

  She had seen this adventurer’s powers on the screen. She knew that he used acid attacks. She had no idea of the sheer agony which such an inexorable death incurred.

  The hand around the back of her neck, the only warmth left to her which wasn’t pain, let go. She felt herself flop forwards, falling from the platform. She hit the floor with a shuddering jolt and the last thing she heard was the shrieks and screams of the nobles in her theatre as they trampled her body, scampering for an exit like rats.

  ***

  Achievement unlocked:

  Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings.

  Chunibyo

  Congratulations, you’ve regressed back to your teenage years and your angst is overflowing. I mean, what kind of slobbering, troglodyte says “the only thing we want is death”? How try hard can you get? Take a good, hard look in the mirror and give yourself a slap. Being an edgelord went out of fashion back in the 10’s and even then, everyone thought they were assholes.

  Reward: Bitches don’t get rewards. On second thoughts, have a seaman encrusted gym sock, that should pair nicely with your shit-lord attitude.

  “Wow, I think I hit a nerve,” I said, “I don’t think I’ve ever heard it get so personal with these achievements before.”

  Panda burst into laughter, hysterically bending at the waist as tears leaked down his face, mixing with the blood on his fur, and causing tiny droplets of glittering crimson to drizzle onto the floor at his feet. “I was about to make a similar joke,” he said through barely controlled laughter. “Bitches don’t get rewards, classic.”

  “I don’t get it?” Bell said, looking confused and a little upset. “I want in on the joke, what just happened? Was it something to do with Kaleb’s Batman impression just now? Tell me!”

  I shook my head and sighed. I thought it was a cool line, they could all fuck right off. Hadn’t they ever seen an action movie before? It was all about the one-liners. I sighed again and was glad that I stopped myself from saying “yippee ki-yay mother fucker” as the Marquess fell from the platform.

  “I hate to interrupt what I’m sure is a fascinating conversation,” Jack said dryly. “But the rest of our targets are getting away.”

  He pointed down to the theatre floor as the last of the nobles sprinted towards the rear exit of the theatre which must have been located underneath our position. Running with reckless abandon, they trampled the Marquess’ corpse and by the time the last one ran over her she was little more than a puddle of squished organs and blood.

  Serves you right, I thought.

  “Marquess Tabitha was our only target,” I said, “let them go. I doubt Regina would want the entire nobility butchered. I’m sure this result is more in line with his goals, they’ll be terrified of crossing him now.”

  “No,” Jack said, his eyes popping as he watched them flee. “These people are scum; they need to die. All of them.”

  Raising his mana sniper he fired a concentrated magic missile into the face of the last one. His head exploded as the rest of his body flopped to the floor, convulsing like a fish out of water.

  “Shit dude,” Bell gasped, “when did you get exploding bullets?”

  “I picked a new skill,” he replied. “It enhances my magic missile giving me a twenty percent chance of making a person’s head explode if I get a headshot. It’s called Popping Balloons.”

  “Seriously?” I said, “is it just me or does the system seem to be getting more and more unhinged lately?”

  “You’re just surly because it called you out,” Panda said, still giggling slightly. “The system has always been a bit odd, Kid. Don’t read into it.”

  I wasn’t so sure, but I didn’t have time to worry about it now. Especially as Jack jumped off the platform landing in a superhero pose and looking back up at us, his sniper resting threateningly over one shoulder.

  “Are you coming or not?” He asked, rather sharply.

  With a shrug, I looked to the others and dropped off myself. I spared a thought for the civilians left in the maze and sent a quick message to Rex. He found the device which allowed Tabitha to speak into the maze and told them the way was clear and that they should follow. The screens flashed to them and I felt a sudden wave of relief as I saw them begin to head through the maze. It would take them some time to get here, but at least they’d be safe once they arrived.

  Jack looked at me impatiently, tapping his foot.

  “What’s gotten into you?” I asked.

  “Nothing. Just hurry up. We’ve no time to waste and they’re getting away. If nothing else, think of the experience points.”

  I nodded my head, pressing my lips together. That was enough to sell me on their execution. It sounded cold, but they were scummy assholes and I did need all the levels I could get.

  However, before I followed him out of the theatre there was one more thing I needed to do. Stepping over the puddle of a corpse, I focused and looted her. Then, with a few choice cuts to bone and tendon, I severed her head from its shoulders and placed it in my inventory. The acid effect from my weapon’s skill did most of the work, pulling the head off the corpse was like slicing through brisket.

  “Holy fuck,” I said aloud.

  “What?” Bell asked, dropping down beside me.

  “I think we just hit the jackpot guys, this crusty old bint had over thirty million gold in her inventory.”

  Bell blinked slowly, then again, then one more time as her jaw dropped. “Thirty million? That’s retirement money, that’s OnlyFans money, that’s…”

  “A metric fuck ton?” Panda offered as Rex jumped down, he had hitched a ride on the lycanid’s burly shoulder.

  “Yeah!” She said, “do you think the rest of them are this loaded?”

  “Probably,” I shrugged, “they’re all nobles aren’t they?”

  “Then what are we waiting for? Let’s go kill them, kill all of them. For the gold!”

  “That’s more like it,” Jack said with a half-smile, he began walking towards the back of the theatre where some double doors were located, presumably the exit.

  As I followed, I nudged the corpse of the man he’d shot and looted him as well, adding a further twenty million to my inventory.

  Achievement unlocked:

  Eat The Rich

  Now this is a plot I can get behind! Go murder those millionaires and show them the true meaning of class warfare.

  Reward: You just got a serious payday, don’t be greedy.

  With a slight smile, I closed the notification and followed Jack to the door. He reached for the handle but I stopped him, putting my hand on his shoulder.

  “I know you’re eager but let’s do this the smart way,” I said, equipping both my daggers. “I’ll go first, then Rex. You come in straight behind and cover us. For all we know they’re waiting to ambush us behind that door. They might be cowardly arseholes, but they live in Castalor so they can’t be that low levelled.”

  He nodded and I opened the double doors.

  You are now entering The Morningstar Hotel and Spa.