“How did I let you talk me into this?” Vivienne asked as they drove down the street.

  “Begging, pleading, and a promise to craft you a new wand.” Kaleb said simply.

  “Wait, Viv, do you need a new wand?” Jar-lock asked from the passenger seat.

  “No, but the Professor offered and an upgrade would be nice.”

  Kaleb nodded from the backseat of the car. He wasn’t sure what materials he still had that would help in crafting a new wand. But Daivor would help. Besides, he had to promise the damn Witch something. She was surprisingly stubborn about taking him to a college full of magical animals. Something about him upsetting ANOTHER school. In the end, Kaleb had to promise to not touch anything and to only study the animals. The wand on top was just Kaleb’s way of saying thank you.

  Vivienne’s little school/animal shelter was supposedly a place of humane research into magical animals. She had explained that the school produced tons of materials of the type he was looking for. Nail clippings, hair shavings, droppings, blood samples, and everything else. It was an alchemist’s paradise, according to Vivienne. Kaleb wasn’t that interested in all of it, but it was a step toward finding the correct ingredients for the serum. All he needed to do was find the formulas for the various substances and write them down. Acquisition could come later.

  A smoke ring rose from beside Kaleb and hit him in the eye. Squinting, he brushed the smoke away and glared down at the car’s fourth passenger. Of course, Kaleb wasn’t going to a wizarding school without Daivor. The gnome was nervously puffing away at his pipe as he looked around the sedan’s interior.

  “You’re sure they aren’t going to experiment on me, right?” The gruff gnome asked their driver.

  “Hahaha! Please, Master Gnome, like I said before, the researchers at the school are more interested in magical ANIMALS. Not magical creatures.”

  “Huh.” Daivor grunted, unconvinced.

  “And look at the positives,” Kaleb said. “If someone tries to take a piece out of you, we can sue them for a stack of magical shit.”

  “Uh-huh, how about you give them a pint of blood and scales and see how you like it?”

  “Naw, I hate needles.”

  Daivor bit into his pipe’s stem and glared up at Kaleb. The two stared at each other for a few minutes before Kaleb finally cracked a smile. He could understand Daivor’s fear. They had met because Daivor was some wizard kid’s experiment. Kaleb suspected that the game’s AI had pushed things in his favor a bit so he could acquire the Gnome. So he doubted that the game would just take him away. He was his Familiar after all.

  Jar-lock spun in his chair slightly and looked at Kaleb. “You made sure to leave your weapons and gadgets at home.”

  “Yes, Dad. All the toys are still in the toy box. Jeez!”

  “Hey, the last time the pair of us took you to a college, you robbed them!”

  “Extenuating circumstances. There was a demon outbreak.” Kaleb sniffed, not meeting the big mage’s eyes.

  “No, there wasn’t.”

  “Because we stopped it… because of what I stole.”

  “So the ends justify the means?”

  “Highly situational. But they sometimes can.”

  Jar-lock rolled his eyes and faced forward again.

  “Besides,” said Kaleb, “This is a completely different place, right, Viv? So they might let us in, even if we were strapped to the nines.”

  Vivienne snorted. “Pfft! No, Professor. Anything that goes bang, boom, or pa-chew is banned from the Magical/Alien Animal Research Center. Something about loud noises upsetting some of the animals.”

  “Oh, come on, these are non-terrestrial species, right? They have to be used to a certain amount of noise. I mean, otherwise, how did they survive the trip to earth?”

  “Well, the magical specimens are captured on expeditions through portals or sometimes as trades with magical kingdoms. But the alien fauna was actually brought in through suspended animation and genetic engineering.” Vivienne sounded more and more passionate as she went on.

  Kaleb nodded in understanding for a bit before shrugging. “Alright. I will endeavor to remain as quiet as a mouse while we take this field trip.”

  “I think Jar is just being extra cautious, Professor. Although he shouldn’t be. I already told him that I think you’d fit in very well at the MAARC.”

  “Why’s that?”

  Before she could answer, a wave of concussive force hit their car and Vivienne had to slam on the brakes. Kaleb reached into his lab coat and grabbed the only thing he could think to use as a weapon. His pen-sized laser cutter. It would take a while to do damage with the thing, but in the interim, it would sting like hell. He held the pen like a flashlight and pressed his face against the car’s back window. The shockwave had created some vibrations that were shaking the window as he looked out of it. But nothing else could be seen. From the front seat Vivienne sighed loudly and slowly started the car moving again. From the sound of the sigh, Kaleb was sure she knew what happened.

  “Care to explain?” Kaleb asked her.

  Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

  “Is that a weapon?!” Jar-lock asked.

  Kaleb ignored the mage as he waited for an answer. Vivienne sighed again before she pointed out the front window. Further down the block from them was a large brick building taking up an entire block. The style of the building was in keeping with the other various colleges and school Kaleb had seen. Except this one had a fucking dinosaur running around its front yard. Kaleb felt the air leave his lungs as he gasped. The T-Rex was rearing back to attack the large metal fence that separated the school from the street. The enormous creature was just one small nuisance, away from running free.

  But when the huge creature slammed his head and body forward, a rainbow-colored shield sprung to life around the metal fence. It pushed the dinosaur back as a wave of force rocked them once again. Kaleb gave Vivienne an incredulous look, but the Wizard was smiling at the scene.

  “Oh, they rescued that Tododallion. He’s cute!”

  “Umm, that’s a T-Rex.” Kaleb corrected.

  “No, it isn’t. Although it is similar. With the gigantic head and the small arms, I can see how people would think that. But the antennae hidden just behind the Tododallion’s ears are a dead giveaway. Well… also the fact that… y’know… it exists.”

  Kaleb glared at the creature as it reared up to hit the fence again. He could just make out some tiny brown antennae behind the T-Rex’s ear ridges. A third, weaker shockwave flew out from the school. But Vivienne just swerved with the wave and directed them toward their goal. Already, Kaleb could see a team of robed figures trying to corral the big creature again.

  “Professor…?” Jar-lock said sternly.

  Kaleb sighed and looked into the Mage’s dark eyes. Already knowing where the conversation was going.

  “Yes…?”

  “Is that a weapon?”

  “No. Technically, it’s a tool.”

  “A weapon is a tool.”

  “You’re a tool.”

  “Dude!”

  “Jar, it’s just a damn laser cutter, alright? Clam down!”

  “A laser cutter?! How is that not a weapon?”

  “Cause the output is only strong enough to cut when the cutter is held in place for a short time. Although, I bet we could increase the output of this thing and make a literally laser weapon.”

  Daivor nodded. “Yeah, but you’d probably burn out the battery during the attempt.”

  “So it would be a one and done. Good for a scare tactic or a last ditch effort attack.” Kaleb mused.

  “Professor!?”

  “What, Jar-lock!? Stop getting your robe twisted. I thought we were under attack, so I grabbed the only thing I could think of that would do some damage.”

  “It’s dangerous.”

  “So are you. Even without your magic. Do you think we should’ve left you behind?”

  Jar-lock tried to say something else, but Vivienne cut in. “Jar, honey, let it go. The professor is right, his laser cutter is more than fine for the MAARC. It’s a known tool and not something that’d get him in trouble.”

  Kaleb stuck his tongue out at the grumpy mage as Vivienne pulled them into the school parking lot. The giant solid metal fence the enclosed the school looked even taller up close. He could see that the thing was thick, too. Probably why it stopped the T-Rex cold. As Kaleb exited the car, he took in the rest of the MAARC’s security. The gates, turnstiles, and guards reminded Kaleb of an amusement park and not a research facility. The scores of cheerful people flooding in and out of the full-height turnstiles didn’t combat that thought either. A few of them even looked like they were here for a damn picnic.

  Daivor swung up to Kaleb’s shoulder and joined him in taking the place in. Vivienne and Jar-lock were sharing a few words in the car, so Kaleb started for the turnstiles. He imagined he’d have to sign some papers or do some nonsense to get in. So it was better to get started on all that now. He was halfway to the turnstiles when a guard in mage’s robe flagged him down.

  “Sir? Student entrances are over here! Also, you’ve seemed to have forgotten your Familiar’s identity card. Would you like us to replace them?”

  Kaleb stared at the smiling guard in confusion for a few moments before rapidly nodded. “Uhh, yeah. I mean please, if you would. I’m not a student, though. It’s my first time here.”

  The guard looked confused, but then he looked at Daivor and smiled. “Ohhh! You’re here to pamper your Familiar, I see. Well, in that case, I need you to step this way and we can get you setup with a package?”

  “Package?” Kaleb asked as the guard lead him away.

  They were headed for a small brick shack just outside the school. Kaleb could see multiple people milling outside the building talking to guards and other mages. His own guard seemed more than willing to explain as they made their way over.

  “Yes sir. We have multiple spa day packages. All tailored for your particular Familiar. It’s been a while since I’ve seen a Builder Gnome. But I believe the standard care package for a Gnome includes a shave and bread scrubbing, along with a hot stone massage, and then a trip to the smoking lounge.”

  “Smoking lounge?” Daivor and Kaleb asked at the same time.

  The guard nodded as they approached the building. “Yes, sir. The MAARC has deals with the land of Fae for various types of tobacco straight from the Gnomish cities.”

  Daivor rapidly poked Kaleb’s cheek as they were led into a well air-conditioned room filled with mages. Some were working at a counter while others were standing around, waiting to be served. Kaleb could see the ones waiting all had creatures in their arms or seated next to them. Daivor’s poking got more intense and Kaleb finally turned to look at his Familiar. Daivor’s normally stony face was looking even more severe as he pointed his pipe at Kaleb.

  “You. Owe me. This.”

  Kaleb stifled a laugh at the gnome’s seriousness and nodded. “I know I do, bud. And hell, if it keeps us here longer to do what we need to do, I’m all for it. But let’s just check the prices.”

  “I’d sell my portion of the workshop for a good beard scrub and grooming.”

  “Since when do you have a portion of the Workshop?”

  “Bah! I’m your familiar that entitles me to at least ten percent of the shop. Your apprentices can claim five percent apiece.”

  “I only have one apprentice.” Kaleb corrected.

  “What about Terrance and Marie?”

  Kaleb shrugged. “I just thought I was a nice place away from home for them.”

  “I wouldn’t tell them that. Marie is still bragging to her siblings that she’s out in the real world making stuff.”

  Kaleb blinked as he scratched his chin. “Hmm, I should probably do something for my apprentices then, shouldn’t I?”

  “Wouldn’t hurt. But first, Daivor is gonna get his.”

  Kaleb rolled his eyes and followed their guard to an empty desk. To Kaleb’s surprise, the mage sat behind the desk and booted up the terminal. Seeing Kaleb’s look, the guard grinned.

  “I was returning from my lunch when I spotted you.”

  “Ah, well, we were merely here for the research center at first. But the idea of giving Daivor a spa day seemed too good to pass up.”

  “Oh, that is interesting. Are you a researching yourself or were you looking for help keeping young Master Daivor happy?”

  “We were hoping to check the studies of various animals while here. I work as a Freelance Super and I need some info about alien and magical animals.”

  The guard nodded, the smile never leaving his face. “Well, that can be arranged. The spa treatment can be a fairly long process. While Master Daivor is enjoying his time, maybe we can get you a pass to the research department.”

  “That would be great.” Kaleb said.

  Daivor’s poking had started again, and Kaleb didn’t even need to look at the gnome to know what he wanted. Getting the mage’s attention again, Kaleb added.

  “Daivor would like the best beard scrubbing and grooming you have.”

  The poking stopped, and Kaleb watched as the mage’s smile became far more predatory. “Oh, I believe I can do that.”

  Suddenly, Kaleb felt a deep ache in his pockets. He wasn’t sure, but somehow he just knew this was going to cost him. He glanced at Daivor and saw the small rosy-cheeked gnome grinning like a maniac at the mage. The man was typing away at his terminal. Each keystroke making Kaleb wince just a little. Then he looked back at Daivor. His second oldest companion in the game beside Roy. He could spend some credits to pamper the little bastard… couldn’t he?