Bandits were sprouting from the trees and bushes like spring buds. More seriously. Considering their attire, you could easily mistake them for mercenary or runaway soldiers as long as you were aware of the hidden pieces of evidence.

  Seems they are a bit too well-equipped, aren’t they? Patched armor with different parts and heterogeneous gears from uneven quality. At first, any rookies would assume they are simple brigands, but they would be wrong.

  The overall quality wasn’t that bad. In fact, I’d say it was getting close to entry military grade, and contrary to what was shown purposely, the pieces were not coming from split sets as one might expect, but they were all unique, some even custom-made.

  Moreover, one might believe everything was poorly maintained, while in reality… it was, but through sheer lack of attention and not due to a shortage of resources and means.

  If you have no use for it, just give it to me. Why are you using your equipment to flex and flaunt your wealth?! Since when have mere bandits had more resources than heroes? This is turning me mad! Grrrrr

  Tsk. The worst part was that while it made me envious and grind my teeth, I had to admit that they looked much better than the two other groups we encountered so far. A little less absurd and slightly more menacing.

  As for the one I suspect of being in control, he wore excellent weapons and armor and had a body clearly cut out for combat. Everything about him was telling me that he was a veteran. Compared to the previous boss we fought he was the real deal, and this one could give me some trouble. More than the two trolls… Ah! But less than the earlier morons, at least physical hurt could be cured. Mental ones, on the other hand...

  “Hey, Joe, what's the situation? Why are you here? Weren't you supposed to be on a day off for personal matters? Anyway, it's good to see you and that you apprehended our problem. Anything to report? Did they say something suspicious before we showed up?”After getting closer, the man I assumed was their leader, spoke to the one monitoring us.

  “Not in the least, sir. I ambushed them by surprise on my way back. The man was taking great care of the injured girl, and If I hadn’t interrupted them, they would’ve ended up doing nasty things together for sure! I’m sure you would have caught them in the middle of the act even without my help. There was no cause for concern. They are just two small fries.”

  What a liar, ambush!? You were sleeping! You didn’t even know why we were wanted for! And I would not have given in to my desire!! Not yet, not today, not tomorrow! I can still hold back!

  “No… as pissed as I am to admit, you did us a great deal. One of the reconnaissance team was wiped out, completely slaughtered… Just nearby the two troll’s corpses.”

  Along a short glimpse of amazement at Lily’s legs that made him frown, the boss’s focus carried over to me. He crouched no far from us and started his questioning.

  “So? What could be our lovebirds' version? You are responsible for the trolls, aren’t you? As you are, for the group at the forest edge, am I right? And I’d like to know exactly what the deal is with the scouting team. Their death was strange, to say the least. Certainly, I can imagine this given the individuals, but just to be sure. Depending on your responses, we will or will not dispose of you in a wicked way.”

  As he spoke, the man’s underling made themselves comfortable, procedding to carefully surround us once and for all.

  While Lily was still the main target of attention for impure reasons, at least, they were not taking aim for now and didn’t draw their weapons. Their boss didner seems eager to kill us and if his threat clear, his tone seemed rather calm and gentle but with trace of annoyance.

  Furthermore, I could see on his face that he was pondering about his own word, probably not yet convinced about how he would handle our case.

  It led me to think we still had a chance to resolve this matter peacefully, which would guarantee Lily’s safety. However, I had to be cautious not to get on his bad side and play it with prudence.

  I gave an honest answer. That’s to say, everything related to the events that led us to our current situation. Summarizing the whole bandit fight, then the troll annihilation. I omitted my name as the hero and spoke of Lily as a warrior instead of a healer.

  She was caught up in a landslide and broke her legs and ribs. I didn’t lie in the fact that I fought the two trolls at once, alone. Because If I appeared too weak, the man wouldn't hesitate to kill us or dispose of Lily. And given what I thought of his motivation. Maybe I could sort something out of this.

  Then, I explained what had happened this morning.

  “As for the madmen, we did kill some, two in fact, and they deserved it. A shame we only got to kill two, by the way.

  What they did was outrageous. What do you expect us to do when they showed up suddenly at a delicate moment, just to drink piss and stare at a girl's genitals with enthusiasm for a moment, before killing themselves. Everything because they couldn’t remember the name of the first victim and the conversatiuon turned to family history for unknown reasons. Public danger and crazy people, that’s what they were!”

  “One killed one’s 9th degree cousin who was, in fact, the man’s secret child, or so he thought. What he supposed to be the result of his secret affair with his 9th aunt was only his wish for reality. It turns out it was indeed the 9th uncle’s son, but from an hidden union he had with the man sister.” I finished my answer with the useless rumors and gossip which were forcefully imposed on me.

  “Oh, and lastly, the first dead’s name was supposedly Joe, and the secret twin of another Joe, who’s got yet another secret twin also named Joe. I'm not making anything up, I swear.” I almost forgot about that one… What a joke.

  “Another one!!!!? That’s the 3rd!... Ah, sorry, boss… Act like if I'm not there.” The fellow bandits that had previously caught us suddenly exclaimed, a priori concerned. The third Joe, I suppose…

  “Yes, that would be for the best, but keep your thoughts to yourself next time. I don’t think anyone is interested in your family matter…

  Anyway, that’s a great story you have here, although the worst part is that I believe you. If I had not known those people, I would have thought you had made fun of me and killed her.” After a short and brieve lecture to the presumed Joe who had intruded into the conversation uninvited, the boss spoke again, pointing his sword at Lily's cheek.

  The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

  “But that’s something they could actually come by.”

  Phew! I was not alone. At least someone else thought those madmen were abnormal even among their kind. Not that I’ve asked anyone so far…

  “I can see judgment in your eyes. They are truly pitiful, ya know? They are from an illicit research center on mind magic and brain study that I raided long ago.

  A whole bunch! Well, They were test subjects and got most of them killed beforehand, but still, for those who survived, I took them in.

  I pitied them and offered them a job. A bag of meat always proves to be useful, after all. Even if only Joe remains at present… I don’t regret it. How’s it, Joe? You're holding up? You’re the last remaining, aren't you?”

  That explains a lot. But a secret research center, uh? I heard nothing suggesting one existed, even less in the region. I wonder when it occurred; that could be worth digging into. When everything’s over, I will look into it if I’ve nothing more interesting.

  “Yes! All the others got killed over time. And it seems the last, pardon, the last two, were settled not long ago. Don’t worry, boss, they were already dead for me anyway, family included. My only regret is Andy. We shared a connection as deep as siblings, unlike with my twins. I would’ve liked to hear his last words, or at least get to bury him properly… ahh andy -sigh- your face is already fading…” Joe, whose name had been confirmed, upholded his leader’s word in turn before starting to complain out of nowhere about Andy the limbless man’s death.

  He soon wiped a single tear to support his words. Then, clenching his fist on his heart, he looked into the distance as if he were remembering dear memories.

  And yet, you won’t fool anyone! Your reaction when you heard you had a 3rd and your overacting this instant convinced me! You don’t even look alike. Were you only related in the first place?

  “What’s now, boss? Should I kill him?” Everything had made me forget our dire situation, but Joe didn’t bother to remind me in the most direct way possible.

  “No, or our whole plan will fall apart. Let me think about it…” The leader who was reluctant to dispose of us as I had expected, pondered a little before carefully finishing his sentence.

  “Let’s abandon the girl here. She can’t move anywhere anyway. Took her valuables and let her die by the monsters’ fangs. With the trolls’ death, this area will soon be full of angry beasts reclaiming their territory.

  Then, we take the boy with us into custody. If he’s not too stubborn or infatuated with his companion, we can make him submit and take him into our ranks. Capable manpower is rare.”

  Their goal was probably to make me do some crime or atrocity, to force me to incriminate myself. That way, when someone would find Lily's body, the guild would think the duo didn’t do it without loss, and the man abandoned his girlfriends on his way and fled, then turned a new leaf.

  “Can’t we really not take the girl with us? Maybe swap the role? This one is of good quality, and the men could have a little fun.” Our keeper, Joe, started negotiating our future, apparently highly interested in Lily's whereabouts and far less in mine.

  “No, she would take too much time to heal, and that would be much less convincing. We almost have enough girls anyway. Why bother.”

  “That would be a shame to let her die alone like this. Shouldn’t we at least comfort her a bit and procure her some company in her last moments? I volunteer for the task!”

  Really? You just lost my respect. Not acting like a dog in heat, you restrained yourself and managed to hide it while waiting for your boss. But now that he is here, you can’t hold back anymore? And you’re questioning his orders?

  “NO! Think less with your dick and more with your head. The guild’s not incapable like you are. Do you really think they can’t figure if she was raped? Enough!”

  For dick-head, that would result in the same, but I was not in a position to speak my mind.

  During their whole argument, I was shaking. Not from fear as I wanted to make them believe, but from joy. I already had suspicions about their motivation and way of thinking, but it exceeded my expectations.

  …

  It was suspicious for two trolls to be together since they were lone creatures. They only tend to gather as a couple when mating season approached, but it was somewhat early. Unless you use some hormones to overcome the issue, and I guess so they did.

  I assume everything was planed. The trolls were probably a shield to cover their operation, or base. It made them a perfect culprit to charge for adventurer disappearance, and it could serve to ward off curious or suspicious person. A bait to gather the attention from the guild and absorb the first afterblow, working as an alarm. That was likely their setup, and it worked just fine.

  If only I hadn’t appeared and cleaned the troll, it would’ve continued to fulfill its role for the many days or weeks to come. Tolls are often avoided even by experts for already specified reasons, and you would need a group of seasoned adventurers, multiple parties, or powerful adventurers, to take care of one of them. Since there were two of them, it would require even more manpower and strength from the adventurer side.

  Had they planted an accomplice in the guild beforehand, the bandits would have been informed immediately if such a gathering of force occurred. They didn‘t need to spy. Spending the days drinking at the guild’s pub while watching the adventures’ comings and goings would do the tricks…

  Overall, it was a clever strategy, given you had the time to warn your partner in crime and as long as you didn’t stumble upon an incognito ex-SSS tiers adventurer without a penny who silently took the request on a whim, simply for the reward.

  Now, all that was left for me was to let them think I was strong and only wished to prove myself after a secret big success. I would let them carry out their plan to make Lily a dumped victim and me an unknown bastard who deserted.

  I could even act as if I want to join them afterward, look for a victim with a pretty body and face, and kindly ask her in secret to help me in exchange for saving their lives. That way, I could give some credibility to my turnover and relieve accumulated stress.

  Seeing their number, and how they are aattracted to women, surely they have committed crime and catched a few girls, have they?

  I’m sure they have, as I’m sure I could find a girl who would agree to lend me her body–I mean, help me in my endeavor, right? I didn’t want to abuse anyone, so I needed someone willing, but still, given their situation, I don’t think I would have a hard time finding someone. I don’t want to be taken as an opportunist, but… sure I am!

  Ahem

  Anyway, this would be for a greater cause. I would thus make friends with.

  Meanwhile, Lily would heal herself and make her way out of the forest, alerting the authorities. It would not even occur to them that Lily was a healer; she was so young and wielded the mass well enough for an actual warrior.

  Even with little information, they should be able to scout for them and build up an extermination party. At worst, we’d move out before they reach us, but that would slow down the business and stop bandit activities for a while, and I would be rewarded for the time lost in their company.

  I’d fight them from inside while Lily and the guild would get their attention.

  The plan has its flaws, but it should have worked, except for Lily's adorable but stupid reaction, of course.

  “Don’t leave me behind. If you do, I won’t die! I know how to fight, and I can heal. Even if I’m clumsy and useless, I can easily leave the forest alive and report you! Take me along, or I will ruin all your schemes! I only want to stick together with the hero no matter what happens!”

  Ahhhh Lilyyyyyyyyy!!! Why does everything fall apart the moment your being is involved? It’s just like you are conflicting with the whole world!