Crourk {species}{vermin}: Crourks are a griffiniod species native to the pine barrens of the western empire. Agrarian expansion into their habitat has pushed the crourks into ranging beyond their pine barren homes and they are now considered one of the largest vermin species in the settled world. Averaging between 25 and 40 lbs it is believed that they utilize wind magic to fly as their wings are considered undersized to achieve unassisted flight. Crourks use their superior size and strength to outcompete native species in other forested areas. Notably, the expansion of the crourks is pointed at to be be the most likely cause of the decline of shimmer rabbits in recent decades and an effort has been made to conserve the few remaining specimens caught outside of captivity. Many Kingdoms now have a pest bounty out on crourks, although a would-be hunter is advised to check with their municipal authorities before hunting the creatures.
-Excerpt from “Quinoin’s Encyclopedia of The World”-
By sundown Joe’s eyes were hurting, but he sat proudly next to a stack of finished labels complete with prices. That particular nugget of information was thanks to one of the handouts Paul had given him. It had contained a regional pricing guide for common items. They had represented each as a range depending on the level of profit the shop keep wanted to get. Joe had picked something around the middle of the road for most of his wares. I might lose some coin for it, he’d thought to himself as his eyes had roved over the columns of numbers, but that’s better than losing the respect of the people I’m going to be living with for the foreseeable future. After all, I did basically get all this stuff for free. Once I have to start buying my own ingredients though, the prices may have to go up.
Joe picked up the paste bottle, preparing to start the less arduous but still unwelcome task of actually attaching all the labels when all the wind left his sails. “I can’t,” Joe admitted to himself as he slammed the little glass bottle of paste back onto the table. “I’ll do this in the morning or something. I’m sure if I try and force my eyes to look at one more label they’re going to jump out of my head and run away.”
Instead Joe looked out the window at the early evening sky. It was at that stage in the sun’s dramatic exit where the sky was set fire with bright reds and oranges, while all the clouds were painted in a vivid shade of pink. The streetlamps would come on soon and Joe actually wanted to go see how that was done. It had been one of the things that had occupied his mind while he’d worked. His current theory was that they were either on some sort of timer like streetlamps back home, or some sort of magical lamplighter came along to turn them on. He hoped for the latter, but was almost sure it was the former. While this world had magic, it was a neat and ordered magic that bordered on the mundane. He sat there for several minutes just watching the colors in the sky darken as the small overworked part of his brain devoted to short term memory tried to get his attention. It was niggling at him that he’d forgotten something, but utter exhaustion made it difficult to focus on what that thing was.
There came a knock at the front door that caused Joe to almost jump out of his skin. Some quirk of acoustics caused even the barest of taps on the wooden front door to reverberate through the open space of his shop like the striking of a drum. “Now who the hell could that be?” he grumbled as he got up from the stool he’d been perched on for what felt like hours. As he crossed the shop floor his short term memory jumped up and down trying to get his attention. It didn’t succeed until the exact moment Joe opened the door and saw Mi’Takal smiling up at him.
“Oh! I’m sorry Mi’Takal. I lost track of time getting my stock ready. I didn’t miss dinner did I?” Mi’Takal waved his explanation away with one petite hand.
“It’s ok. We’ve just closed for the day and I thought I would come to collect you. Why not come over and meet the hatchlings?” She gave him an amused smile “it will be nice to have someone else to entertain them and Cha.”
“Hatchlings?” Joe asked as he locked the door and followed Mi’Takal up to their own stoop.
“Yes, just hatched the other day. It’s Cha and mine’s first clutch. Three males and three females.” Mi’Takal practically skipped as she talked excitedly about her new children. “They’ll have their hatchling colors for now, but their scales have a nice healthy sheen which is all we could ask for. Come and meet them yourself!”
The domestic space of the Meadowbrook family was larger than Joe’s by almost double. It consisted of one large multipurpose room that functioned as living room, dining room, and kitchen with two bedrooms and the bathroom occupying the space where Joe’s balcony was in his own shop. The layout made the space feel more like a home and less like a live-in attic attached to the shop, which was a sentiment Joe was starting to have with his own living arrangements. Maybe if I’d sprung for the larger domestic space option on the application I would have gotten something like this, Joe thought as he was lead on the grand tour. In one of the bedrooms Cha’Takal grabbed an oversized basket and hauled it back into the living room with them. The whole thing swayed alarmingly in his grip as he tried to lizardhandle the basket to their little communal table. Joe could see Mi’Takal tense up as he swung it back and forth. She stepped in to help him set it more gently on their table before going back to prepping dinner.
“Look! Look upon the wonderful work of my mate!” Cha’Takal exclaimed dramatically as he flung open the lid of the basket. Joe leaned over the opening and peered inside. Deep in a nest made of soft blankets he could just make out six little brown speckled kobold pups about as long as Joe’s outstretched hand. Each one cuddling up to a black stone about the size of his thumb. They were dressed in different colored cotton pj suits and seemed to be fast asleep, despite their fathers dramatic delivery of them to the table. He looked up at the beaming Cha’Takal before deciding to address Mi’Takal instead.
“May I pick one up?” he asked, pointing into the basket. She gave him a smile and a nod.
“Make sure to support their heads and tails. Oh, and be ready for them to latch onto you.” She warned “They are very young and will burrow towards anything warm. If you don’t keep an eye on them, they’ll be up under your shirt before you know it.” The idea of the adorable little things clinging to him really didn’t bother Joe terribly much, so he dipped his hand in and scooped up a pup. It was wearing a sunflower yellow pj suit and appeared to be just as asleep as it’s siblings. However, the moment Joe’s warm hand touched the little pup it abandoned the black rock it had been cuddling with in favor of sprawling out over Joe’s hand, digging miniature claws in to secure itself in place. Joe tried to get it to move up to the crook of his arm so he could hold it like a human baby, but the little lizardfolk refused to budge from its new perch.
“A strong girl,” chirped Cha’Takal excitedly. He withdrew another pup from the basket, his smaller hands making it necessary to use both to support the one pup. “They will bring honor to the Takal clan like their mother before them.” The pup didn’t latch onto its cold blooded parent the same way its sibling had to Joe.
“How do you know their gender?” Joe asked before he could stop himself. All the little ones had the same mottled brown pattern that looked far more like their mother than their fathers garish display. But if Mi’Takal was telling Joe the truth, half the pups were male.
“Oh the normal way.” Mi’Takal tittered from her spot in the corner kitchen where she was putting the finishing touches on their dinner. “Although mammals like you probably wouldn't be able to tell.”
Without asking for permission, Cha’Takal deposited his little burden on Joe’s shoulder where it clamped down on him with all the fearsome tenacity of a five inch lizard. Its little claws dug right through his linen shirt without breaking skin. By the time Mi’Takal was ready to serve dinner, Cha’Takal had stuck every one of their children to various points on Joe. For his part, Joe just humored the little lizardfollk as he stuck his children to his neighbor like novelty fridge magnets.
Dinner that night was a spring mixed salad, augmented by slices of fresh fruit, dried berries and candied nuts. Over the top Mi’Takal had drizzled a sweet sauce that had a tangy bite to it which helped to balance out the flavors from the salad. She’d also chilled and cut a type of fruit that was new to Joe. The outside skin had the shape and color of a brown pear, but when cut open it revealed a bright blue interior studded with seeds like a dragon fruit. The pear fruit had a creamy texture with an almost sherbert like flavor to it. Joe quite enjoyed it.
To drink they had chilled herbal tea that had been mixed with diced fruit. The good food and good company made Joe feel more at home that night than he had for years back in his own world. The Meadowbrooks were curious about him and his past, but Joe was able to deflect most of their questions with vague answers. He was able to tell them a few customer service stories, with proper omissions and alterations, and was gratified to see the looks of pained empathy on the two kobolds faces. He was able to eventually steer the conversation into safer waters by asking his own return questions about their past.
Joe found out that Cha’Takal had married into the Takal clan, and had originally been a Hithrow before taking on the new clan’s name. He’d met Mi’Takal at a farmers market, where he’d immediately decided that he loved her and started to try to work at her stall.
“He hadn’t even asked my mother’s permission,” Mi’Takal tittered as her mate nuzzled her neck affectionately. “He just bounded up and started telling people how good our produce was.” The couple had been married for five years now, and had finally felt financially stable enough to try to raise a family of their own. By the time Joe had called it a night, he was sprawled out on the Meadowbrooks living room floor with all 6 pups snoozing on his chest and stomach listening with wrapped attention to the politics involved in kobold courtship and marriage rituals. When he got home he was tired, but ultimately felt good about how the day had gone.
Snagging ‘Practical Alchemy For The Modern Chemist’ on his way up the stairs, Joe decided he needed to do some studying before bed. I’m going to need to learn this stuff eventually, it might as well start tonight Joe thought as he ascended the stairs and got ready for bed. Last night hadn’t been terribly cold, so Joe decided to strip down to the soft linen shorts that this world considered underwear and slipped between the covers. Cracking open the heavy leather book to chapter one, Joe started to read.
The night outside was cold and dark, with cloud cover obscuring the moon and stars above. It was not a night that welcomed an introspective evening stroll. Had anyone decided to brave the night regardless and pass by the old chemistry shop however, they may have noticed a dim blue light rapidly flickering between the closed shutters of the windows. Had they lingered they may have also picked up on a low persistent murmuring of voices within, like a hushed but urgent conversation. But again, the night was dark and cold. It did not welcome walkers and no one was around to witness this, the first of many strange happenings at the old chemist's shop.
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Joe woke up with a groan, sporting the worst hangover he’d had since his early 20’s. He felt stiff, and an all pervasive smell of dust and leather made it difficult to breathe. Cracking a bleary eye open, he found the culprit was a book that had fallen across his face. He pushed it off where it burst on the floor, scattering loose blank pages all around. “What the hell happened?” Joe rasped. His tongue felt thick and coated with dust. Sitting up was excruciating as it caused his eyes to throb alarmingly. I need a drink and some aspirin he thought to himself.
Mild Pain Relief Tonic
Crush Willow bark and steep in 8 oz of water for at least fifteen minutes. Mixture is ready when it has taken on a dark amber color.
Filter mixture to remove solids and return to heat.
Boil until reduced by half.
While mixture is boiling, prepare spirits of mana and set aside until ready.
Once reduced by half, add the spirits of mana and stir until solids separate and sink to the bottom.
Filter solids and spread on waxed paper to dry. Once dry grind into powder or use as is.
Dose: ? teaspoon to 8 oz of warm water. Stir until dissolved.
Spirits of Mana
Heat 4oz of neutral spirits until vapor starts to rise from flask. DO NOT BOIL.
Once heated, remove from flame and set aside.
Take two manacoins (iron) and heat over flame until color lightens
Carefully drop the heated manacoins into the neutral spirits and wait for effervescence to subside.
Spirits of mana can be stored for up to two weeks without loss of potency.
“Ok, what the fuck was that?” Joe swore. He put his head in his hands and closed his eyes until the pain subsided enough for him to think straight again. The information had popped into his head completely unbidden, but he knew for a fact that that was what he needed at this moment. Shuffling into his pants from yesterday, he descended the stairs to his workshop. Each step sent a new shock of pain through his abused cranium, but there was nothing to do for it until he’d mixed up the medicine. Joe ran a bloodshot eye over the shelves of chemistry equipment and supplies. What had been nothing more than random boxes and bizarre glassware yesterday he now knew were spirit lamps, distiller tubes, purifying chambers and miscellaneous other specialized equipment for the magical chemist. He quickly found the brass poles and clamp systems that fit into the threaded holes in the table and went about setting up a simple burner with a spirit lamp and suspended flask. Within five minutes he’d shredded the willow bark and had it steeping over the merry little flame of a spirit lamp.
While that was brewing, he set up another flask and lamp system, this time he filled the flask with a measure of neutral spirits from the large tub of it kept under the table. Once he got the burner lit he went upstairs and fished around in his money bag for two grey coins. Coins in hand, he descended back into his workshop just in time to see the neutral spirits come up to temperature. Joe moved the burner out from underneath it and replaced the flask with the two coins clamped in a pair of tongs. It didn’t take long for the metal to turn from a bright grey to an off white color, and when it did he gingerly dropped them into the wide mouth of the spirits flask, being careful not to chip the flask when they hit the bottom. The coins fizzed madly like a pair of antacid tablets in hot water.
While they finished dissolving Joe moved back to the willow flask and checked the color of the liquid. It was already starting to change, but wasn’t dark enough yet to be ready so he pulled up a stool and set his head on the cool stone surface of the chemistry table while he waited. Every once in a while he’d look up to check on the progress of the willow flask before gently setting his head back down onto the blessedly cool surface. When the liquid had darkened enough he took it from the spirit lamp and ran the liquid through some cheesecloth into a clean flask, then put it back to reduce. He almost fell back asleep waiting for it, but the smell of hot glassware brought him up with a start before he completely faded. The mixture had reduced to a little more than half, but his newfound knowledge told him it wasn’t burned yet.
Joe quickly removed the flask from the spirit lamp and poured in the now cool spirits of mana. The reaction was almost instantaneous as the color shifted to an opaque brown before starting to concentrate into little snowy crystals and sink to the bottom. Once the reaction was done more cheesecloth was used to get the crystals separated from the spent liquid; with the crystals being laid out to dry and the liquid going into the toilet's void rune.
The resulting powder was dry within the next few minutes leaving Joe with about 4 tablespoons worth of what looked like coarse cocoa powder. Joe’d spent the drying time heating up the required 8 oz of water so it was the work of a moment to mix a teaspoon's worth of the powder into the warm water. The resulting mixture was an unappealing brown sludge with the sparkling mica powder motes in it that Joe had come to associate with magic. It looked less than appetizing. Come on Joe he mentally couched himself. You’ve come this far, will you really chicken out now just because it looks like sparkling magical sewer water? He took a few deep breaths and slammed the whole glass back in one go. It had the horrible taste of a pill that had been held in the mouth too long, but thankfully no great odor.
This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.
No sooner had it hit Joe’s stomach than all the pain went away. Not just the pain of the headache, but all the pain in Joe’s body. The pain from sleeping on an inferior mattress, the pain from his old sports injury from back in highschool. All the little pains and aches he’d just come to associate with getting older were banished in an instant. Joe looked at the empty flask with awe scrawled across his face. “Well son of a bitch” he whispered. His eyes were drug to the little pile of powder still left on his bench. “I fucking love magic.”
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Joe locked up the shop and slipped the key back around his neck. He was really going to need to get some sort of a belt pouch here soon as he was starting to miss having pockets. Joe’d decided he needed one more day to get his feet under him before officially opening the shop. There’s still so much I don’t know Joe grumbled to himself. He caught the eye of a passing lanoli and gave them a polite smile and nod. They returned the gesture, but moved on without stopping to chat. Before heading out on this little excursion, Joe had taken a moment to put his mysteriously acquired knowledge to the test by opening every supply jar and box on his shelf and trying to identify what was in each. He was going to have to label them all eventually, but at the moment the idea of doing any more labels made his eyes hurt again.
He had found that the shop had come stocked with a lot of the basic materials needed to make his more mundane items and a smattering of the more magical potions that would appeal to the adventurers. Despite the shelves being almost filled, he knew the stock wouldn’t last more than a month or two. If I remember, one of the negatives of living here was that I had to mail order everything. The problem is, the contract didn’t say how I was supposed to go about doing that, Joe thought as he looked out over the street at the morning commuters. He decided that his best bet would be to go and talk to Paul again. If anyone knew how to go about supplying the shop, it would be his guild rep.
Paul was right where Joe had left him the previous day, tucked up behind the counter of his own shop. Today though, he was leaning into it with one elbow, apparently engrossed in a paperback book, only looking up when he heard Joe close the door. He tucked a scrap of paper in between the pages and closed it as he smiled and greeted Joe. “Well good morning Joe. Did you think of something else you wanted to ask me?” Joe returned the greeting and crossed over to the counter.
“Actually yeah,” Joe gave the wooden stool a leery look, but decided to chance it. It groaned alarmingly as it protested his additional weight, but held out. “I was curious about how I order things.”
“Oh I’ve got the guild catalogs right here in the back. But if I was you, I’d try posting with the adventures guild first. You might not get exactly what you wanted, but it’ll be cheaper.” Paul rummaged around under the counter and brought out a selection of large paper backed books, each one themed around a particular set of items. “We’re in region 4:rural for the shipping charges, they’re in the back with the index.” Joe flipped through the catalog dedicated to professional tools and his eyes almost bugged out of his head at the prices. He grabbed the catalog for materials and saw it wasn’t much better.
“I don’t get it.” He said, looking up at a smiling Paul “ how do you keep costs down with shipping charges this high?” Paul took off his glasses and polished them against his apron
“Well, it’s a combination of things. First, I make less of a profit on the things I order.” He gave a ‘what can you do?’ sort of shrug. “Better to make an iron than nothing at all. As for most of this,” here Paul gestured out at the stock in the waist high bins behind Joe “It’s all local. I’ve got contracts with most of the farmers and hunters for my food. The tools and glassware are on consignment with Moira. Anything else is either ordered or done without.” He gave a quick nod at Joe, bringing the conversation back to the counter. “I really would try posting with the adventurers guild for your reagents. There’s a lot of exotic stuff in dungeons that they just don’t have in the catalogs.” Ah thought Joe so they have dungeons in this world. A thought popped into Joe’s head and he asked it before really thinking it over.
“Couldn’t I just put a notice in my shop window saying what I wanted?” From the frown on Paul's face Joe knew he’d made a mistake.
“As your guild representative,” Paul said in a flat tone “ I would highly advise against that. Remember the guild charters? The adventurers guild holds something similar over dungeons. They have the exclusive rights to exploit the resources within them and guard those rights as jealously as the merchants guild guards their charters. Not only would you get in trouble for trying to avoid the posting fees, whoever sold directly to you would likely get their licenses revoked for theft of guild property.” Joe tried his best to salvage the situation.
“Ah, I’m sorry. This is all new to me, I’ve never owned a shop before and had very little to do with the adventurers guild up until now.” Paul gave him a small smile, apparently fully willing to believe his explanation.
“Don’t worry about it Joe. Never feel like you can’t talk to me about guild business. If you want to do something and aren’t sure about it, just come talk to me first, ok?”
“Thanks Paul” Joe said, sticking out his hand to give the hobb a firm handshake. Glancing over the shopkeeper’s shoulder, Joe spotted a familiar set of books he’d not seen for years. You know what? They don’t have the internet here, and I need as much information as I can get. Joe thought to himself, not taking his eyes off the line of leather bound books. “Hey Paul, how much for the encyclopedias?”
<><><>
They ended up costing him about two silver, which was a blow but he really did need them. No, what had been more of a shock than the price of the books was when Joe had discovered he’d mixed up his coins that morning. His migraine had made it difficult to focus when he’d been rummaging in his coin purse and he hadn’t looked too hard at the two coins he’d grabbed for his pain medication. Apparently they had not been iron manacoins like he’d assumed and he’d wasted two silver on aspirin. No wonder it worked so well. I’m gunna have to keep that stuff for myself. Joe hadn’t bothered to use his glasses on the pain medication that morning, having assumed he’d done it right. Now however, he needed to confirm something when he got home.
His mysteriously obtained chemistry knowledge was telling him that using such a high powered manacoin had bumped the medication up from a grade one to a grade three; putting it well beyond what he was legally allowed to sell to the average customer. I should probably introduce myself to the local doctor at some point as well Joe mused as he slotted the last encyclopedia into place and stood back to survey his work. With nowhere else to put them, he’d opted to use the top shelf of his enchanting workshop's storage shelves for the moment. The “Beginners Guide to Enchanting” squatted at the other end of the shelf. Ever since Joe had found the crumbling remains of “Practical Alchemy for the Modern Chemist”, Joe had been giving it the same weary distance he would give a snake.
The Tutorial Specs were a big help integrating into this new world, but they only gave him a quick blurb of information. Joe hoped that the encyclopedias would fill in the details that the glasses conspicuously omitted. On a whim he looked for the “s” volume, intending to look up “skill book” and see if that was something native to this world or if it was a perk of his contract.
There was no “s” book. In fact, now that he was looking for a specific letter and not just reading the whole words, he realized that none of the books had recognizable letters on them. There were symbols where the letters would be on encyclopedias from his home world, but they did not conform to any alphabet he was familiar with. He picked up the first volume and stared hard at the symbol on the spine. After a moment his brain supplied the associated sound for it. It was the symbol for the “ch” sound specifically. Rooting around a bit Joe found other volumes specifically for the “sh” and “th” sounds as well. How did I not notice this before? He thought as he flipped the volume in his hands open and scanned down the page.
Like a person made aware of something that they had been doing automatically, Joe now had to look at all the words for a moment before the meaning came through. “Does this mean I could read any language?” Joe blinked. Like the words before them, his speech now revealed itself to not be English like he’d thought. Instead it was a melodic language that sounded like a mix of Latin and French. Ok, I want to speak English. Joe focused on his familiar old language. “Hello, I am Joseph Alderbright.” The sentence came out exactly as he’d intended it to in the slightly accented English he’d grown up knowing. He let his focus slip and felt himself slide back into what he decided to call “Common”. “Ah, I bet this is what the contract meant by the linguistics package” Joe mused to himself as he flipped back and forth through the book. Now that he wasn’t focusing too hard on them, he could read the words fluently. “Well now, this would be handy if the shop doesn’t work out. I can always get work as a translator.” He put the book back on the shelf and rolled up his sleeves, intending to get the shop ready for the upcoming grand opening.
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The next few weeks went by in a blur for Joe. Opening day went well. It was no black friday rush, but people were happy to have a chemist in town again and came to buy those little necessities of life that had, up until that point, needed to be ordered. In fact, Joe blew through his starter stock and all his chemistry reagents faster than he thought he would. Thankfully Paul’s advice proved its worth and putting in a standing order with the adventurers guild kept him fairly well stocked. Joe often ended up with rarer versions of his reagents at a price that was cheaper than what he could have gotten for the lower quality ones in the catalogs.
The highlight of the first week was when he found a beautifully carved ebony pipe at the Meadowbrooks shop. The original craftsman had worked the dark wood into the shape of a ravens head with jasper flakes set into the eyes for an extra fearsome flair. He’d found it tucked behind a set of crystal goblets on a top shelf, well above the heads of the shop's owners. It looked very wizardly and Joe had purchased it on the spot. Cha’Takal had actually tried to give him the pipe, but he’d forgotten to remove the price tag when he presented it to Joe. When the energetic kobold wasn’t looking Joe slipped Mi’Takal the money.
It was in fact while he was enjoying his new pipe that he got the first of many unpleasant surprises. It was rather late in the day with night having well and truly fallen. Joe stood out in his little back garden, pipe in hand staring absently upwards when something occluded the stars overhead. Whatever it was it wasn’t very high over the buildings, as the street lamps lit its pale white underbelly. It looked for all the world like a white garbage bag caught in the wind. Had he been back in his old world he would have thought nothing of it and just left it alone. However, in the month or so he’d been living in this new world he’d never once seen a plastic garbage bag. Garbage was left in wooden boxes in the alley behind everyones houses to be collected by the gnollish garbage collectors. As Joe watched, the object changed course and dove down into the street in front of his shop.
“What the hell?” Joe muttered to himself “ I come to a fantasy world and see a UFO. Between this and the fantasy bidet I really shouldn’t be that surprised.” He tapped out his pipe and stomped the embers into the dirt before going inside. The shop was dark and quiet, filled with the uncanny silence a place normally full of people gets when empty. The silence weighed on Joe as he crossed the dark expanse. Quickly he unlocked the front door and opened it, expecting whatever it had been to be long gone by the time he did so. He got a nasty shock though when he came face to muzzle with a horse skull.
Joe did not scream. Anyone who heard a scream was mistaken and would be politely asked to not spread such rumors. When Joe’s heart had a moment to slow down and let his brain kick in he was able to process what he was looking at. “Why the hell,” Joe finally asked to no one in particular, “is there a mari lwyd at my doorstep?” Joe really hoped he didn’t have to sing to it, his voice wasn’t built for that and he had no alcohol to placate the beast. The mari lwyd stood impassively staring at him. The twin smoked glass orbs that made up its eyes dimly reflected a distorted version of Joe that was hard to look at. He managed to tear his gaze away from them by glancing downwards, hoping to get some idea of who was in the costume.
He wasn’t at all surprised though when he saw that the bag-like body was just floating a few inches off the ground. In fact, the whole thing looked a little off. All the mari lwyds Joe had ever seen online looked like a horse skull using a bedsheet like a cloak. The overall point being to hide as much of the puppeteer as possible with the least amount of work. This one however, had a body made of a large, roughly body sized canvas sack attached to the back of the horse’s skull with massive copper staples.
It regarded him impassively for several seconds before its whole body gave a shuddering hack like a cat trying to cough up a hairball. Although lacking predatory teeth, Joe still took a step back when the mari lwyd opened its jaws wide and gave another racking cough. He set a hand on the door in preparation for slamming it closed if the thing decided to charge him. Instead, a small paper wrapped parcel slowly emerged from its bag throat. Dipping its head down the beast caught the descending parcel in its teeth and held it out to Joe. The box was roughly the size of two paperback books stacked on top of eachother and was wrapped in brown paper covered in enough runes to make it look like some sort of niche Christmas wrapper.
The mari lwyd gave an equestrian nod and snort, so Joe took the proffered parcel. He stood and waited as it started another coughing fit, this time producing a battered clipboard with a pen on a string. A thick piece of cream-colored paper lay clamped on top of it.
“ Oh, did I have to sign for this?” Another snort and nod, so Joe took the proffered clipboard and gave the form his best signature. Once it had retrieved the signed form it rapidly ascended like a released balloon, before it was lost in the gloom of the night. Once Joe was sure it was gone, he shut the door and made sure it was locked. “Ok,” he said, crossing the shop floor and ascending the staircase to his apartment “let’s see what Santa Lwyd brought me.” It turned out to be a slightly smaller cardboard box and a suspiciously familiar gold envelope. “Oh boy, I wonder what they want.” he flipped the envelope over and opened it.
Firmament Analytics Enterprises
You’re in good hands
We hope this letter finds you well [name]
Please find your first [monthly subscription] parcel enclosed with this letter.
Additionally, we have determined further action is necessary along your assigned borderline. As such, you will be used to dissipate additional spacial-thaumatic energy. Please stand by for discharge event, which is scheduled to take place approximately twelve [12] hours after you have received this letter (+or- four [4] hours due to speed of delivery). As this is an unplanned emergency event, you will not be given options on how the discharge event occurs. Our team of specialists will instead pick a release vector that will be the most efficient in rectifying this situation.
Joe didn’t like the sound of a “discharge event” but the letter lacked an FAQ section. No matter how many times he flipped the page over, it stayed just the single page. Well, nothing I can do about it now He thought to himself as he went to open the package. Before he could, however there came a knock at the door that made him jump so badly that the little box flipped out of his hands and skittered off across the table. That's probably somebody wondering what the hell was going on thought Joe. Another knock sounded getting Joe in motion. He spent the half minute or so between his apartment and the front door thinking of a story to explain what had been outside. He needn’t have bothered as Mi’Takal hadn't seen what had happened, having had her own worries to think about.
“ Joe” she chirped when Joe opened the door “ I think the crourks are back”
“ What again? I thought you put a lock on your garbage bin.” Joe stepped to the side to allow the cold blooded Kobold into the warmth of his shop. Mi’Takal pulled a right face like she had just seen Cha’Takal give someone an item on credit.
“The gnolls complained. they said that they couldn't guarantee that the gnoll we gave the key to would be the one who actually collected each night. Cha hung It up on a string near the box and the crourks took it.” As a nighttime smoker, Joe had become well acquainted with the dog sized griffin-like crourks. They looked like someone had mashed together a crow and a racoon. They had the intelligence of a crow, with all the self control and hands of a raccoon. Crourks would have been a threat to even something as large as Joe, had they not been consummate cowards. They mostly skulked in the nearby forest and rummaged garbage bins at night. They were however opportunistic hunters, and Joe had already had to run them off the Meadowbrooks property once when one had decided to ambush Cha’Takal on his way back from the garbage bins.
“Ok, don’t worry about it Mi, I’ll go scare them off. Do you want me to keep an eye on you as you walk back to your shop?” The little kobold looked a sheepishly up at him, but nodded her ascent.
“If you wouldn’t mind. I know they normally don’t come into the main street but.” She trails off and Joe gave her a quick nod.
“It’s no problem, better to not give them the chance. Come on, I’ll see you home first and then go deal with those feathery bastards again.” Mi’Takal gave a little tittering laugh and Joe couldn’t help but smile. He’d grown quite fond of his neighbors in the last month of living here. After making sure that Mi’Takal had made it safely home, Joe headed out back through his own shop and into his garden. The sounds of rummaging were immediately evident as Joe stepped out his back door. “Were they just waiting around for me to leave or something?” Joe grumbled as he unlatched the back gate and let himself out into the alley.
The surrounding buildings blocked the streetlights glow, casting the alley into regular shadows cut through by bars of bright blue light. In the pool of shadow behind his neighbors shop, Joe could see something moving around the wooden box the Meadowbrooks used for their garbage. The mobile piece of shadow didn’t quite have the right outline to be a crourk though. Without taking his eyes off the strange silhouette that was clearly eating something, Joe fished around in the small hip pouch he’d recently purchased from the Meadowbrooks.
He’d made several retail therapy purchases in the last month, and the slightly foxed but still serviceable hip pouch had been one of the first ones. Another had been a used copy of “Introduction to Cantrips” a student of the academy had hawked for some extra spending money after completing the class. Pulling out an iron manacoin, Joe muttered the incantation for the cantrip “candlelight”. As Joe finished, the coin flashed into a brilliant yellow light. He could feel the coin fiz against the tips of his fingers as the spell ate through the solidified mana of the coin. By its light Joe could see that what was rooting around next to the Meadowbrooks garbage was not a crourk. In fact it appeared to be two thirds of the way through a crourk when the light disturbed its grisly meal and it looked up at Joe with a face covered in blood and viscera.
