Hobb {species}: Hobbs are a subset of the goblinoid races native to plains and grasslands. Their long legs and prehensile tails have adapted to make them both quick sprinters and devastating foot fighters. Hobbish adventurers have been recorded to kick with enough force to shatter bones or break through wooden barricades. Averaging between 5.5 and 6 feet tall, Hobbs are the tallest of all the goblinoids. Modern hobbs can be found throughout the settled world in a variety of professions. Unlike others of the goblin species, hobbs show no affinity for any particular profession or branch of magic. Instead hobbs will generally settle into any available niche they find themselves in.
-Excerpt from “Quinoin’s Encyclopedia of The World”-
Morning light wormed its way in between the shutters of the windows, causing Joe to groan and roll over for the umpteeth time. “First upgrade I’m buying” he grumbled into the surface of his pillow, “is a better mattress.” The denizens of this new world may have found a straw mattress to be the height of luxury, but to a body used to an adjustable memory foam mattress they were hell.
Cracking a bleary eye open, Joe glared at the offending ray of sunshine that had made it past the shutters. When it refused to slink back out and leave him alone, he decided he might as well get up. Lacking any other real option at the moment, he’d chosen to sleep in the clothes he’d arrived in. They were now wrinkled, sweaty and definitely in need of replacement. Checking the armoire he found it stocked with half a dozen pants, shirts and sock options. They were all in muted earth tones or reds with a single dark blue shirt to break up the monotony. Joe picked out the blue shirt, as well as a pair of dark brown pants to go with it. Rooting around in the drawers at the base of the armoire rewarded him with a brown leather belt that had a brass buckle in the shape of an ouroboros that he added to his outfit. Feeling a bit better dressed, Joe went to see if he’d been given any food. A quick search of the kitchen located a new appliance.
Mana Icebox
This specially enchanted cabinet uses mana from the properties mana furnace to super chill the air within it helping to preserve food longer.
To Joe’s disappointment it was empty. “Guess groceries weren’t included in my start up package,” he grumbled as he checked the other cupboards around the kitchen. While food had not been included, thankfully basic kitchenware had. The cupboards held a collection of serviceable wooden bowls, plates and cutlery. He also found two large kitchen knives and some copper pots and pans in the lower cupboards by the mana stove. Joe stood back and clapped his hands together in a business-like fashion. “Alright. I need food, and probably should get the lay of the land while I’m out there. Maybe meet some of my neighbors and figure out what sort of a world I’ve been dropped ass first into.” With his first quest firmly established, Joe headed out to greet the new world.
<><><>
The early morning sun shone down on a world both disturbingly familiar and comfortingly different. Like the apartment above his shop, the world at large had modern flair made of decidedly not modern materials. Street lights were present, but they were made from wooden poles topped with metal braisers roughly the size of a soccer ball. Holes drilled in the sides of the braisers showed evidence of water staining, so Joe guessed they were meant to keep the vessel from filling with water in a storm. The street too had an eerily modern feel. However, instead of asphalt with painted lines, it was cobbled. Reflective tiles had been mortared into the stones at regular intervals creating a dotted line that divided the road into two equal halves. A raised sidewalk hemmed the road in on either side, with buildings set slightly back beyond that. The pavers of the sidewalk looked like sandstone blocks and Joe could see where the large blocks had cracks patched in the past with mortar. Further along the sidewalk two of the blocks had settled and misaligned with their neighbors. The potential tripping hazard this presented had been painted yellow along the raised edge.
The people too were an odd mix of familiar and exotic. Humans were common enough amongst the early morning pedestrians. They were easily outweighed however by the other races walking around. As Joe continued to stand on his stoop and stare he could identify what looked like an orc, two giant woolly sheep like people, a cynocephali and a minotaur. All were going about their business as if nothing was at all extraordinary about their existence.
“Oh! Good morning!” a gravely, yet high pitched voice called from Joe’s left. He turned to look and was only mildly surprised by what he saw.
Mi’Takal Meadowbrook
Profession: Pawn Broker
Species: Kobold
PL:1
The roughly two foot tall, bipedal lizardfolk smiled at him from the next stoop over. She had needed to climb up onto the stone parapet of the stoop to be seen by him and as he turned to look she waived to get his attention. Joe guessed the kobold was female by its cornflower blue sundress belted with a silver chain that very likely was a necklace for a larger creature. Her muddy brown/tan hide was shot through with highlights of a deep emerald green that broke up the pattern and looked a little like modern camouflage material. A ridge of stubby horns were set over brown slitted eyes the same color as her skin. Only their shine really made them stand out from the rest of her. Mi’Takal jumped down from the parapet and scampered over to Joe’s own stoop.
“Are you the new chemist?” She asked, tilting her head up and giving Joe a toothy smile. All her teeth were blunt spikes like a crocodiles, but the gesture still seemed friendly enough.
“Oh, uh, yes.” Joe stammered, taken slightly aback at how swiftly the kobold had covered the distance between them. Unsure of how to proceed, Joe just bowled forward with the first response he could think of. “The name’s Joseph Alder Bright.” He extended a hand to the kobold that could have wrapped around her whole head. Mi’Takal took his first two fingers and gave them a good shake.
“Oh it’s good to finally meet you Mr. Alderbright.” Mi’Takal tittered. “I’m Mi’Takal Meadowbrook, my family owns Meadowbrook pawn next door. The we’ve been watching old Bi’ll’s shop since the movers started bringing things in and we’ve been wondering who bought it.” She gave a little tug on the fingers she had, leading Joe off the stoop and up to her own front door. The strength of the tug wasn’t much, but it was made with the surety that Joe would follow. He found himself unable to prevent her from pulling him inside. “Come in, come in and meet my mate. We’ve got some time before we open and we’ll be your neighbors from now on, so let’s get to know each other.”
The interior of the shop looked like the aftermath of a collision between three other more reputable establishments. Clothes rubbed sleeves with garden tools. Books found themselves the unlikely neighbors to kitchen pots. A whole platoon's worth of swords squatted in a barrel in the corner, their scabbards all tangled together with a nest of walking sticks. Above it all a stuffed crocodile hung like a descending pagan god. Weaving in and out of the clutter was another slightly taller Kobold. This one was the exact opposite of Mi’Takal in every way. It stood a little over three feet tall and had the coloration of a scarlet macaw. Vibrant red scales stood out against shimmery blue feathers that tufted around the kobolds forearms and tail. A crest of yellow and blue feathers graced the top of its head and tip of its tail. Over its eyes a small set of curly rams horns sat in the same location as the ridge of spikes did on Mi’Takal. Said horns were decorated in silver rings with dangling shards of colored glass and gemstones. It wore a brick red tunic and tan pants held in place by a thick gold chain. It skipped around with a feather duster held in one hand, flicking it here and there as it found the need to. Joe tipped his head back a little to catch the bobbing creature in his glasses.
Cha’Takal Meadowbrook
Profession: Pawn Broker
Species: Kobold
Pl:1
Mi’Takal gave a chirping click from the back of her throat that caught Cha’Takal’s attention, the crest of feathers on his head perking up when he spotted them. “Ah! Hello! Why are you a new face indeed?” Cha’Takal chirped back, running over to greet Joe. While still pitched higher than a human's voice, and still possessing the gravely undertones that had marked Mi’Takal’s speech, Cha’Takal had the deeper voice of the two kobolds. “Why my lovely mate, what have you brought to us this fine day?” Cha’Takal bobbed back and forth, looking at Joe from different angles.Before his mate could answer, he took Mi’Takal’s other hand and nuzzled into her neck affectionately. Mi’Takal let her mate pamper her for a moment, a smile clearly on her lips, before she pushed him back and held up the hand still clutching Joe’s two fingers.
“This is Mr.Alderbright,” she said, finally releasing Joe’s fingers. “He is taking over Bi’ll’s old chemist shop.” Joe started to open his mouth to correct Mi’Takal on his name, when Cha’Takal stepped forward and grabbed the hand so recently vacated by his mate.
“A new neighbor!” he crowed,shaking the trapped digits like they were a well pump. “Please to meet you Mr.Alderbright. I am Cha’Takal the pawnbroker’s assistant of clan Takal. This beautiful, wonderful, intelligent woman is my mate Mi’Takal.” Here he broke off to once again nuzzle into Mi’Takal. At first Mi’Takal seemed content to indulge her overly exuberant husband as he lavished affection on her in front of their guest. When he gave no sign of stopping on his own however, she gently pushed his face away.
“I’m only smart when compared to him.” She joked
“Compared to me?” Cha’Takal’s feathers puffed up again as he looked at his mate. “Compared to me, it is no contest.” He hopped up onto a rickety display of ceramic crocks that rocked alarmingly at the addition of his slight weight. “Comparing me to her is like comparing the sun to a candle! My mate’s intellect and beauty knows no equal! I am but a shiny bauble kept at her amusement and no more!” Joe couldn’t help but smile at the irrepressible male Kobold. Mi’Takal waved her hand to get her husband’s attention once more.
“I was going to invite Mr.Alderbright to dinner, my mate.” She said once she was sure he was paying attention. Her husband nodded rapidly.
“Yes, yes! A welcome feast! May your years here be many and all that.” Cha’Takal cocked his head to the side from his precarious perch. “Why are you here anyway?”
“What my pretty, yet oafish mate means,” Mi’Takal translated, “Is what brought you to Academyway?”
“Oh,” Joe nodded back at Mi’Takal, trying his best to keep up with the rapid fire kobold conversation. Joe’d already decided to be as truthful, yet vague as possible with his origins. He didn’t want to outright lie. Fabricating a story meant remembering details he knew he’d forget eventually. However he also knew he couldn’t just say ‘oh, I signed a magical contract in an alternate dimension and wound up here with a fist full of cash and a sparkling new shop’ people would talk. It was much better to just tell half truths than whole lies. “I just wanted a fresh start. Got tired of working for someone else and decided to strike out on my own.” Mi’Takal patted his much larger hand gently.
“Fresh starts are always good. We won't keep you from opening your shop though, it’s getting to be that time. Oh but please come back for dinner tonight.” she said.
“I’m not opening today” Joe couldn’t take his eyes off of Cha’Takal as the little kobold carefully rappelled off the crock display. “I just got in last night and I haven’t had a chance to look around.” Once Cha’Takal’s feet touched the ground he immediately bounced forward back into the conversation.
“Yes! A day of rest! What a wonderful idea. Why not check in with Paul Swiftly at the general store? He’s the local merchant guild representative. You’ll be wanting to get to know him fairly quickly.” Cha’Takal nodded up at Joe before tapping the side of his muzzle. “Old adventurer you know, very strong man. He helped Mi and me get settled in when we moved here a few years back.” Mi’Takal nodded along with her husband before adding her own two cents in.
“He’ll also have the official documents for you to sign if you haven’t already done that. After that, I would suggest trying out Merrie Carrie’s cafe for lunch. She’s such a dear and loves meeting new people.” Mi’Takal turned and lead Joe back to the front door as the energetic Cha’Takal tried to get another neck nuzzle in on his mate. When she deflected him without even looking, he went back to his dusting. Mi’Takal escorted Joe all the way out onto their stoop before extracting another promise to return for dinner from him and finally letting him go.
It was only after the door finished shutting that Joe realized he’d never gotten around to correcting the kobold couple on his name. You know what? Why bother, new life, new name. Joe’d never really had strong feelings on his name. His parents had been hippies born a few too many decades past the 60’s and had tried to make up for it by forcing their son to embrace their lifestyle. They’d changed their last name to Bright and refused to tell him what their last name had been before. He knew his mothers maiden name was Maddison, but they never really talked to his fathers side of the family, so it never came up.
His parents had wanted to take it a step further and name him ‘Starchild Alder Bright’ but his maternal grandmother had petitioned for a simpler name and he’d gotten saddled with Joseph instead. The last time he’d talked to his parents was right after the funeral when they’d told him they were moving to Florida to join a commune. I hope it wasn’t a cult Joe thought as he stepped off the front stoop of Meadowbrook’s Pawn. Not much I can do now though, I guess I should have reached out while I had the chance. Pushing the sudden mix of anxiety and loneliness down, Joe moved to join the early commuters.
The traffic outside had steadily increased while Joe was in the Meadowbrooks shop. Now carts joined the jostling pedestrians all jockeying to get where they needed to go while simultaneously getting in each other's way. Joe had to do a double take at the creatures he saw pulling the carts. Having grown up on books and tabletop games, Joe had mental space for a lot of ‘fantasy’ things like kobolds and minotaurs. Even the sheep people were close enough to things he’d seen online that they didn’t really phase him. The creatures in between the cart rails however, did not fit nicely into any of his available pigeon holes. They looked like a four legged chicken, if it had been crossbred with a bison. Each of their stout limbs ended in a thick clawed chicken foot. Their heads were massive, but one hundred percent chicken, right down to the mad little eyes that gave the impression of being only barely on this side of domestication. Their body’s were closer to that of a bison, with short brown fur and large humps across their broad shoulders.
Joe couldn’t see any wings on them, but they may have just been pinned down by the harness that attached the beasts to their carts. As he watched, one took a swift peck at its neighbor’s hump for getting too close to it. The driver gave his beast a swat on the rump with a thin switch, but if the creature noticed it gave no indication of it. Joe vowed to stay as far away from them as he could. The street had wide enough sidewalks, so it wasn’t terribly hard.
His shop appeared to be on the main street of town, with the other buildings appearing to be more retail establishments. All had prominent signs that made locating Swiftly’s General Goods fairly easy to find. The shop’s interior was the diametric opposite to the Meadowbrook’s. The single open room was neatly divided into lanes by waist high bins filled with various products ranging from dry goods like flour and sugar to fresh produce and fruits. Tall shelves ringed the four brick walls of the store where more expensive items like tools, cookware and books were stored. To the right as one entered, the shelves were behind a long wooden counter. Said counter was manned, if that word could be applied, by another creature Joe had no reference for. In rough outline it resembled a short kangaroo with the top half of a man. The legs and tail were thinner than a kangaroo with the tail ending in a tuft of hair. Its whole body was covered in golden brown fur shot through with streaks of silver and grey in places.
Its face was humanoid, but with a pronounced nose and mouth that gave it the look of a short muzzle. Perched atop its large nose were a pair of silver glasses on a string that attached to the apron it wore. Besides this it was dressed in a soft linen shirt and pants modified to accommodate its tail. Joe surreptitiously tilted his head back to look at the creature through his glasses.
Paul Swiftly
Profession:General Store
Species: Hobb
PL:15
Ah so this is Paul Joe thought as the hobb finally caught sight of him. Paul gave Joe a small smile and nod.
“Good morning sir! How can I be of service today?” Paul did a sort of half hop, half walk as he came over to meet Joe. He seemed to prefer walking on the balls of his long feet, then rocking back to stand flatly on the whole foot when he stopped, which caused his height to vary dramatically as he moved.
“I was told to come here about some paperwork?” Joe answered, returning the smile and taking the shopkeeper’s proffered hand. Despite its thin and knobbly appearance, the hobbs hand had a strong grip that was firm without being bone crushing.
The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.
“Oh?” Paul inquired, cocking a bushy grey eyebrow as his long pointed ears came up and forward like two signal flags.
“I’m the new chemist,” Joe elaborated “Joseph, Alderbright. I just got in last night and the Meadowbrooks said I should come in to finish signing some paperwork?” Pauls face lit up.
“Well pleased to meet you Mr.Alderbright! As you know I’m Paul Swiftly, but please just call me Paul. I’m glad you came by. Here, let’s get it done right now.” Paul gestured to a wooden stool that sat on the customer side of the counter. Joe followed him over and took a seat. The stool creaked alarmingly under his weight, but didn’t buckle. Joe determined however to move as little as possible on it.
For his part, Paul came around the counter and rummaged out of sight for something. “I’ve been working for months now with your intermediaries getting all the paperwork straightened out. They were very thorough by the way.” Paul gave him a conspiratorial wink. “Wish I could have gotten them to stick around, but alas none of them wanted a job here.”
“Ah” was about the best thing Joe could think to say. He wasn’t sure who these ‘intermediaries’ were, but was fairly certain asking too many questions about them would make Paul suspicious. Instead he just rolled with the hobb’s statement and didn’t add any further elaboration. Paul seemed to find what he was looking for under the counter. Straightening up, he presented Joe with a thick leather folio.
“Everything’s just waiting for your signature.” Joe took the proffered folio and opened it. Inside were several multi-page documents crammed with tiny writing. Oh god this looks like my old bank’s disclosures. He looked up at Paul who was giving him a small smile.
“Do you mind if I take some time to read through all this?” Joe asked, holding the whole packet up for emphasis. Paul’s smile ratcheted up to a grin and Joe got the impression he’d passed some kind of test.
“Not at all,” Paul chuckled, shaking his head “you should always look over a document thoroughly before signing it.” Paul held up a finger like he’d just had an idea. “In fact, why not take the whole thing with you and look it over while you have an early lunch? I suggest Merrie Carrie’s cafe. It’s a favorite of the students on the weekends, but this early on a Monday it’ll be nice and quiet.” As if hearing Paul’s words, Joe’s stomach sat up and growled.
“You don’t mind?” Joe closed the folio and tucked it under an arm.
“Not at all,” Paul gave him a dismissive wave “I have copies if something gets lost or ruined.” Joe thanked the amicable hobb and headed out the door.
<><><>
Merrie Carrie’s turned out to only be a few doors down from Swiftly’s. Like the other buildings along the street, it was a two story flat roofed affair made of red brick with small windows. However, at some point in the past the front of the shop had been renovated. The first floor now sat indented, with the overhanging second floor acting as the roof of an outdoor seating area. No one was currently using the two wrought iron bistro tables that nestled into the little space; but through the large bay windows Joe could see a line of customers. He joined the end of the queue behind another hobb like Paul, a lamia and what looked like the minotaur from earlier in the day. The place smelled of baked goods and coffee and had a pleasant warmth that contrasted the slight chill outside. Behind the counter another of the giant sheepfolk was taking orders. Behind her two much shorter human women could be seen darting back and forth through the opened door that likely lead to the kitchens. Joe assumed they were the ones actually filling the orders as the larger woman took them.
Above the sheepfolk a large chalkboard displayed the current menu. The fair was a mix of mundane sandwiches and coffee based drinks that wouldn’t look out of place back in Joes old world, although streaks across it told Joe it changed quite frequently. What, no roast dragon tail and mandrake salads today? Joe thought with a smile as he waited his turn. He took the opportunity to look through his glasses at the sheepfolk behind the counter.
Merrie Carrie McDonald
Profession: Chef
Species: Lanoli
Pl:4
Merrie Carrie stood around seven feet tall with a plush, fluffy outline. Her head was that of a sheep with a set of small curly horns tucked around her pointed ears. She wore a loose white blouse and serviceable looking black skirt tied at the waist with a blue ribbon. When not in use, Merrie Carrie stuck her pencil into the curly mass of hair that crowned her head. When Joe finally made it to the front of the line the lanoli proprietor gave him a jolly wink and a smile.
“Well hello sugar, I ain’t seen your face around here before. What’ll it be?” Her voice was a pleasant drawl that oozed energy and enthusiasm.
“Good morning…” Joe made a guess “uh, Ms.McDonald. I’d like a grilled cheese and spiced milk tea please.” The lanoli woman gave a small start, which caused her puffy hair to bounce slightly on top of her head. The look of shock was replaced a moment later by a laugh and a smile.
“Sugar, I don’t know who told you my last name, but aint no one around her calls me Ms.McDonald. It’s Merrie Carrie or Merrie if I like ya.” She gave him another huge wink and Joe felt his face color slightly.
“Ah, I’m sorry Merrie Carrie. I’m Joe by the way. I bought old Bi’ll’s chemistry shop.” Joe decided to continue as he started and held his hand out to the fluffy woman. Her own hand engulfed his as she gave it a hearty shake.
“Oh no fool’n? It’ll be good to have a chemist again. You plannin’ on stocking hair products?’’ Merrie Carrie let go of Joe’s hand and wrote his order down before leaning back and slapping it on something on the other side of the doorway.
“Probably? But it’ll take some time to get settled. I’ve got a whole stack of papers I have to go over that Paul needs me to sign. He was actually the one that told me to come here.” Merrie Carrie gave him another huge laugh.
“Oh he’s just the sweetest isn’t he?” She leaned in close, continuing in a stage whisper. “Be careful though. He likes to play tricks with new guild members. When I got this here shop he’d slipped in an agreement that said I owed him a beer if I signed it. Well, young’n innocent me just signed everything right there on his counter without even looking at it.” She gave a shrug before presenting Joe with a wooden token. The number twenty three was painted on it in big block letters. “He didn’t actually make me buy him a beer, but he showed me what I signed. I tell you what, after that I read everything any time someone put a contract in front of me.” Joe gave her a nod and accepted the wooden token.
“I’ll keep that in mind Merrie Carrie.” he said as he glanced down at his number.
“You do, well I can’t sit her jawing your ear off all day. Pick a spot and one of the girls will come find you.”
Joe decided to take a seat near one of the bay windows for the extra light it provided. With nothing better to do while he waited, he flipped the folio open and started reading. Years of wading through bank disclosures and notary documents meant the contents of the folder really didn’t pose much of a challenge to Joe. It was a mix of rules and disclosures with the signatures acting as a declaration that he read, understood, and agreed to abide by all the rules they laid out. There was even a soft cover handbook for him to keep for his reference.
The whole system actually fascinated him. The merchants guild apparently controlled everything to do with commerce in the queendom, dictating everything from the level of competition allowed to the maximum price of basic necessities. One whole document was devoted solely to the punishments that would occur if a merchant was caught violating the guilds rules. A baker, for example, could be fined up to one silver per loaf of bread found to be adulterated with inedible fillers like sawdust or chalk. Another document was about food regulations and disclosure standards. The important part for Joe was the sections on proper disclosures on potions and compounds.
As a chemist, Joe had some leeway in how he prepared things. He could do a traditional oil, water, or alcohol based potion, or turn them into a compound like a lotion, bar, or pill. No matter how he prepared his stock however, he needed to disclose what magical properties were used and in what concentrations. The example the form gave was a healing ointment made of an oil based healing potion mixed with a binder wax. The label needed to state that it was fifty percent grade I healing and fifty percent inert wax. It reminded Joe of the ingredients labels on medicine back home.
The charter rules also fascinated him. The guild controlled competition by issuing charters based on population size. As a small rural community, Academyway had the minimum charter size of one per profession for most things and four for food establishments like Merrie Carries, two that could serve alcohol and two that could not. There was also the option to split a charter and claim half of it to allow mixed establishments like his. Whatever they did, a person could have up to one full charter to their name. This was apparently established to help smaller communities thrive and prevent charter hoarding in larger towns. If Academyway ever grew big enough though, Joe would have to pick either chemist or enchanter and sell off his other half charter. The guild would pay him for it and all equipment from the surrendered charter, so it wouldn’t be a complete loss for him. Picking two half charters also came with the risk of competition, as someone else could come in and secure the other halves of his charters if they wanted.
At this point his food came, so Joe set the folio aside to eat. The sandwich smelled of garlic and paprika, its bread sprinkled with spices prior to being toasted to a crisp golden brown. The cheese inside was a savory and sweet variety with just a hint of saltiness to it. The whole thing made Joe wish he had a cup of tomato soup to go with it. The drink too was perfect. They had used full milk to brew the tea in and spiced it with cinnamon and nutmeg. The result was a creamy drink that warmed him to his core. The only complaint Joe had about the meal was that it went far too fast. In what felt like only a few minutes he’d eaten everything. Well to be fair to myself, the last time I’d eaten was lunch yesterday. He thought as he stared at his sadly empty plate.
Merrie Carrie herself brought him the bill. Sliding the little sheet of paper across the table, she gave Joe a genuine smile. “Ya’ll let me know when you’re up and runnin’, and don’t forget about the hair care stuff. Ol’ Bi’ll was a good man, rest his soul, but a girl’s gotta have some variety in her options from time to time ya know?” She fluffed the fuzzy rough around her neck. “Especially if she’s got as much to look after as I do.” Joe chuckled and gave her his own genuine smile. He’d already decided he quite liked the bubbly lanoli.
“I’ll keep that in mind. Any particular items or scents you were interested in?” He flipped the paper over to see the bill, but found there wasn’t one. Instead there was just a note in neat little letters saying ‘It’s on the house’ followed by a little heart with horns on it. “Merrie” Joe protested looking up at her. Merrie Carrie gave him another huge wink.
“What? It’s my shop sugar, I can do what I want. Think of it as a ‘welcome home’ meal. As for your question,” Merrie Carrie put an index finger to her chin as she thought for a moment. “ Conditioners are what I’m really hurting for right now. And how about lavender to start with, Bi’ll was a big fan of sandalwood but I want something more floral if ya know what I mean.” Joe was a little bit lost for words. Having lived a life that revolved primarily around work, he really wasn’t used to other people being nice to him. On top of that, he just couldn’t tell if the fluffy lanoli was flirting with him or just being herself. It had been so long since he’d even thought about dating that he wasn’t at all sure of what any of the cues were anymore. In the end he decided to try and match her energy, but ultimately not read too much into the nice gesture.
“For you Merrie, I’d grow a whole garden of lavender.” he said, giving her his own wink and smile. This got a laugh from the giant sheepfolk.
“Well ain’t you just a smooth talker when you wanna be. You enjoy the rest of your day now alright?” She gave him one more huge wink and turned to go. Joe returned her wink with a nod and a smile, feeling completely out of his depths at this point. Once she’d left he put his head down and just tried his best to focus on the rest of his paperwork.
<><><>
Joe ended up finding the same contract for a beer that Merrie had warned him about. He carefully put it to the side, unsigned. After that, Joe didn’t really find anything that he really disagreed with, so he signed the other documents and put them away. Not like I have a choice Joe thought it’s kind of like the bank disclosures. You can’t really argue with them. If you don’t like what you see, you just have to go somewhere else. Although if I want my shop, I have to sign. He took another look at the beer contract before slipping it into the folio at the top of the stack.
The walk back to Swiftly’s General Goods was a quick one and when Joe arrived it was to find Paul helping a young satyr looking man pick out a new cookpot. Since the shopkeeper was otherwise indisposed, Joe decided to get some of his own shopping done. Paul had been thoughtful enough to provide a number of large wicker baskets by the entrance for his patrons to use while shopping. Joe picked up one and began pursuing the bins for the staples he knew he’d need. The produce on offer wasn’t anything he really recognized. There are only so many shapes a fruit or vegetable can take though, so Joe was able to find things that looked familiar enough. For everything else, his tutorial specs provided the basic answers. Worryingly though, Joe could not find anything that resemble toilet paper. Oh please let them have something better than an almanac nailed to the door Joe prayed as he rooted around for everything else. By the time Joe had collected all the little necessities of life, the customer Paul had been helping had made their purchase and moved on. The hobb waved him over with a smile.
“How was your lunch?” He asked, glancing at the folio as Joe set it on the counter with his purchases.
“Good, thank you for the recommendation.” Joe gave Paul his own friendly smile. “So when do you want the beer?”
“Beer?” Paul asked innocently, raising one bushy eyebrow. Joe tapped the folio with an index finger.
“The one from the contract in there,” Joe clarified “I don’t see how it’s guild business, but it was in the stack.”
“Oh you didn’t have to sign that one.” Paul chuckled, flipping the folio open. “I just use it as a bit of a demonstration on the importance of thoroughness for new guild members.” He started down at the unsigned form on the top of the pile.
“I didn’t sign it,” Joe chuckled “but I’m more than willing to get you a beer sometime if you’d like one.” Paul glanced up to see Joe’s amused smile and couldn’t help but let out a bark of laughter.
“Tell you what Joe, I’ll take you up on that some time. But I’ll stand the second round.” Paul flipped through the remainder of the documents to check them. “They all look to be in order. Did you keep the handouts?” Joe nodded before Paul continued. “Good, any questions?”
“Actually yeah. How likely is it that someone will come along and claim the other halves of my charters?” Joe started unloading his basket onto the counter.
“Depends. The chemist charter?” Paul mused as he rummaged under the counter, eventually pulling out a pad of paper and an abacus. “Probably not likely. There’s just too much start up equipment to buy for the market here.” His fingers flew as he wrote down everything Joe put on the counter. The soft clack clack of the beads on the abacus forming a background noise to their conversation. “Are you planning on going into domestic rune work?” Joe almost said no right away, having no idea what Paul was talking about. But then his brain kicked him and he remembered the clearly magical circles applied to the utilities in his shop. That sort of thing looks like a full time job in and of itself Joe thought as he watched Paul’s hands dance between the paper and abacus. Eventually he shook his head.
“No, not likely. Maybe a few magical items here and there for adventurers and the like, but otherwise I plan on leaning more into the chemistry shop.” After all, it’s what I got the equipment bonus in. As much as he’d liked the idea of enchanting, leaning into what was currently the strength of his shop was probably the smarter thing to do. Paul gave him a nod.
“It’s for the best really. Rune work is a full time job. It’d be hard to run a shop while you’re dashing off to fix someone’s stove. I’ve been pushing for Rah’ll to officially claim the enchanting charter for years now. His rune work is second to none, but he’s just too devoted to his family to leave the farm to his parents. They’re getting on in years and I understand wanting to help them, but he’s young and got his own future to look towards. Maybe losing the full charter will motivate him to get the half that’s left while he can.” With a flourish Paul underlined a number at the bottom of the page and turned the pad around. “There you go. One silver, a hand full of bronze and a couple of Iron and it’s all yours.” He drew another line under the total and held the pen out to Joe who looked at it. When Joe didn’t take it Paul’s smile fell away and he cocked another eyebrow. “Something wrong Joe? Did I do the math wrong?” Joe looked up at him, then down again at the paper. As quickly as he could, Joe did the math in his head and got about the same number as Paul had.
“Uh no, it all looks good to me.” Joe looked back up at Paul who waggled the pen at him.
“So, would you mind signing for it then Joe?” He asked with only slightly strained politeness.
“Oh!” Joe thought quickly as he grabbed the pen from the hobb. “I’m sorry, still a little tired from the long trip.” He hoped the excuse would placate Paul, which it seemed to do. Paul gave a little chuckle and stroked his grey goatee, a faraway look coming to his eyes.
“Oh yes, I can understand that. I spent a good chunk of my adult life on the road. It can get pretty exhausting for sure. It’s one of the reasons I finally retired. All the wonders of the wider world are great and all, right up until you realize how bloody far apart they are.” Paul accepted the coins Joe passed him and continued. “You got anything to pack this all home in?” Joe had honestly forgotten that part. Back home, or at least back in his old home, he’d always kept some cloth grocery bags in his front passenger seat. All that had been left behind with his old life though.
“Ah, no.” Joe said lamely. I guess I could buy the basket too. It’ll be better than trying to juggle all this back to the shop. As if anticipating his thoughts, Paul slid the basket over to him.
“Go ahead and borrow it. Just bring it back the next time you’re in.” Joe gave him an appreciative smile as he started packing his things back up.
“Thanks Paul. I’ll make sure to pick something up next time to carry my groceries home in.” Paul gave him a nod and a wave as Joe left. The walk between Swiftly’s and his shop took less than five minutes. Within ten he’d packed everything away and placed the basket on his table as a reminder to take it back with him. Man it’s nice living on main street. I don’t have to go far to get anything. Although, I’m feeling a bit peopled out right now. Joe finger combed his beard as the thought about what to do next chased its tail in his head. “Maybe,” he said to the room at large, eyes focusing on nothing in particular “I’ll look for my stock. It’s not in the basement, or up here so there’s not a hell of a lot of other places it could be.”
With a plan in mind he went to work. Focusing his search on the workshop under his apartment, Joe made a happy discovery under the upstairs stairwell. Tucked in a closet was the bathroom. It was really more of a cubby paneled in cedar boards than a modern bathroom, but after peeing outside in the cold last night he’d take what he could get. There was a grating in the center of the floor and Joe could just make out a set of copper circles through the bars.
Void Rune
A common endpoint for most domestic runic systems. Converts physical matter into a small amount of raw mana, which is then returned to the connected mana furnace to help mitigate utility costs.
Warning: keep hands away from active void runes
“Wait, so these things could eat me? That seems super dangerous” Joe said as he looked around the small space. There was a water rune in the ceiling connected by copper wire to a set of knobs. This turned out to be the shower that ran in conjunction with the void rune in the floor. He found the toilet slotted into a little cupboard within the bathroom. It looked like a fancy spitoon with a seat on it. The whole thing was made of brass and weighed a ton when Joe slid it out of the cupboard. It wasn’t tied to anything, but to use it a person would have to drag it out into the shower stall. Joe briefly considered lugging the thing upstairs, but there wasn’t any more privacy in the studio apartment than he’d get just leaving it where it was. Inside the toilet Joe spotted another void rune and a water rune. “Hold on a second,” Joe grumbled to himself as he looked around. “I don’t see an almanac in here.” He glanced back at the water rune. There was an inlaid copper wire running from the rune to the side of the pot where another rune, this one his glasses tagged as an ‘activation rune’ sat. “Oh you have got to be kidding me.” He leaned away and activated the water rune. A small stream of lukewarm water squirted up and out of the pot from the fantasy bidet. “Great, perfect, why not?” Joe heaved the toilet back into its cubby and closed the bathroom door. “We’ve got chicken oxen and government fixed sidewalks, why not have a bidet?” He shook his head as he went back to looking for his stock.
The mystery was finally solved when Joe found the sliding storage compartments under the display counter. The space wasn’t very tall, but it did run the full depth of the counter. Inside them, the potions were arranged in low wooden crates with dividers spacing the tall rectangular bottles out. They reminded Joe of an old wooden soda crate he’d seen at a yard sale. A similar crate, minus the dividers, held a small selection of rings, necklaces and one small dagger. Joe picked up one of the rings and tilted his head back.
Ring of Lighter Burden
Upon activation, negates 10lbs of the users weight at the cost of 1mu/minute.
Activate by holding hand out at arms length, palm up and raise hand.
30/30mu
“Nifty, I wonder if I can do a side business as an item appraiser.” He put the ring back and picked up one of the potions. The liquid inside was a green cloudy color with sparkling motes dancing inside like mica powder.
Grade 1 Stamina Potion
Restores a small amount of restfulness to the consumer.
Water Based
Internal Use Only
“It’s a fantasy energy shot.” Joe muttered “glad to see the color conventions of stamina carry over.” He grabbed a similar bottle with a ruby red color.
Grade 1 Health Potion
Halts minor bleeding and heals a small amount of damage to the user.
Oil Based
External Use Only.
“Ok, so some potions can’t be drunk?” Joe turned the bottle over in his hands and watched the sparkling motes swirl around inside it. “I’m gunna need a prominent warning label on these then.” Carefully he set the bottle back in its slot before sorting through the rest of his stock. It was a mixed bag of what he would consider ‘magic potions’ and more mundane things like hand creams, soaps and cleaning supplies. “It would appear that anything chemical falls under my charter.” Joe picked up a bottle of sparkling yellow liquid that his glasses told him was a form of hand soap. It was in the exact same bottle as the Grade 1 stamina potion was in. “I should also look into getting some different shapes of bottles for the different products. This could get confusing.”
He looked around at the two dozen or so crates he’d pulled out from under the counter. “Buuut, before that all of these are going to need good labels.” A quick search found a paste bottle, pen and some thick paper in one of the drawers of the chemistry table. “Whelp, no time like the present.” Joe sat down and started making labels.
