Chapter 4

  “Warden, thank you for your patience,” Rex said as he and Steve reentered the meeting room a couple of hours later.

  “We had wished to confer with our peers to best determine our path forward,” Steve added as he pushed his eye glasses up the bridge of his nose.

  Drew nodded and stood from the highly uncomfortable bone chair, “I take it there were no volunteer candidates?”

  Steve smiled, and it was a horrifying visage of already tight skin being pulled to an extreme tautness against his skull, “Quite the contrary, there are many volunteers.”

  “No shit?” Drew gasped. This could be the break that he needed.

  “Indeed?” Spock added with a raised eyebrow.

  Rex nodded once, “Yes. Many of our people feel indebted towards the Warden for ending their servitude, although not all of the volunteers are competent enough with your needs, I do believe you will have your commanders.”

  I’m really surprised they had that many volunteers… or volunteers at all come to think of it.

  “There have been many developments since you asked Lord Hades for assistance in releasing us from our shackles,” Steve said before pausing, “The technology that we Boneweavers had worked so tirelessly to develop has ceased functioning. The original Bone Rifles are little more than paperweights now, and the other constructs that remained operational require dedicated teams of our people to prevent a total systems shutdown.”

  “It is our belief that in severing the connection to you, our creator, much of our enchantments were cut off from the magical nexus of your soul’s energy that powered them. It’s all quite fascinating, but I digress. Since our freedom we have undergone many changes as a people. Most of us now worship Lord Hades, not just for his hand in freeing us, but also because his domain is that of the undead. Us.”

  Drew found the idea that undead worshipped anyone rather interesting, but it made sense. “And what does that have to do with the other changes you mentioned?”

  Steve cleared his throat through a cough and a moth flew out of his gaping mouth, “Our original paths have ended, but new opportunities were given to us by the god of undead. Many of our people have embraced these new paths, one of which may prove instrumental in assisting you with your army.”

  Drew’s interest was instantly piqued. Just what had Hades done that would allow these people to make up for the shortcomings of micromanaging a large legion of constructed and animalistic undead?

  “They became Necromancers,” Spock said suddenly.

  “That is correct,” Rex replied.

  “And some of the volunteers of Necromancers?” Drew questioned.

  “Yes.”

  “As for my peers, the Boneweavers, we have mostly chosen to continue our path of invention and creation. As thrilled as we would be to work with you again on your ideas and projects, I’m afraid that our own abilities are more mundane in nature now that we our cut off from your soul’s nexus,” Steve said sadly.

  Yeah, the rifles are next to worthless now it seems, and if any of the mechs are still around it would be almost pointless to continue to use them with the sheer quantity of labor it takes to maintain them… if the weavers could even manage it in the first place. And if they’re creating relatively mundane objects like they…

  “Uh, Steve, when you say you’ve been busy creating mundane stuff, what exactly do you mean?” Drew asked.

  Steve waved his hands about dispassionately, “The buildings, the chairs and other furniture, we’ve yet to find our muse or true sense of inspiration.”

  “So you still work with bone, but it cannot be magically powered?”

  “Not without great and constant effort,” Steve said dejectedly.

  Hmm…

  “Hey Steve, I think I have an idea,” Drew smiled.

  “Truly? A project, a real project? Not just this infrastructure and awful chairs?” The undead practically vibrated with excitement.

  They knew the chairs were uncomfortable… they really must be bored as hell if they left them as is without tinkering to make them less of a pain in the ass to sit on. Although how an undead would test for comfort is a question in itself…

  Drew leaned forward. “Armies need weapons and armor, even if they aren’t magically powered. I could definitely use the Boneweavers expertise in creating them.”

  Steve turned to his colleague with a giant, and deeply disturbing, smile on his face, “No more stuffy buildings and chairs for this weaver! We have a project!” It was with those words that Steve ran out of the room like a child on a sugar high.

  “He seems pleased,” Drew said with a smile and a shrug of his shoulder.

  “Indeed,” Spock nodded.

  Rex stood in place, his undead face somehow contriving to convey his surprise. He let out a raspy sigh, “I want to say that his and the other Boneweavers will be missed and we greatly value their contributions here…”

  “But?”

  “But they’ve been driving me insane with their boredom and daily pestering for a more substantial job. It seems I should be thanking you once again, Warden.”

  Drew waved him off casually, “Don’t worry about it. I’m happy to have him and any others on board.”

  “Yes, I’m certain that you are. The Necromancers who volunteered are also eager to begin to work with you, as many of them had formerly been a part of your command structure. In truth, some of us have had a difficult time coping with our newfound freedom. Now, please allow me to introduce you to some of the volunteers.”

  Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.

  ***

  Drew and Spock spent a day in Bonetown, but they were both very happy to be leaving. As accommodating as the undead were, they didn’t have the need for sleep or food so the two men left feeling pretty damn hungry. As for why they spent so long in town, well that was a different story altogether.

  Many Necromancers had volunteered, and Drew had to pick through them to find the best fits for his needs. Personality and capabilities were equally as important. His minion cap was also limited, so as much as Drew would have loved to grab all the willing Necromancers, he only needed ten or so. At least ten that could handle a thousand minions a piece.

  The rest of the time? That was spent trying, and failing, to leave. Word spread quickly that Drew was looking for volunteers, and before he knew it the former Blackguard that had formed the majority of his forces in the assault against the Slosth queen had requested to reenter his service. Very few had survived that encounter, but the ones that did seemed almost fervent towards Drew, and he found himself having a hard time saying no. So he didn’t. After all, they offered to become his personal bodyguards, the equivalent to the Secret Service.

  Finally, there was Steve. Good ol’ Steve. Steve who went around and told all his Boneweaver peers about Drew’s need to equip a brand-new army using non-magically powered weapons and armor. Those weavers physically blocked Drew from leaving until he accepted each and every one of their number.

  One thing did stand out to Drew from all the time spent in the undead town, there were mountains of highly uncomfortable looking chairs, tables, and benches littering every spare space that they could be stuffed into. Not a single one were in use either. It seemed as though Rex may have understated just how bored Steve and his peers had been recently.

  “Drew Wright, I am hungry,” Spock complained.

  “Me too buddy, but we’ll be back in twenty minutes and then we can go grab some grub.”

  “Why would we wish to procure worms, Drew Wright?”

  “I can’t tell if you’re fucking with me or not,” Drew looked over to Spock only to see a genuine look of puzzlement on his face, “It’s just a saying that means we’re going to grab some food.”

  “I do not wish to ingest worms, Drew Wright.”

  “That’s not…”

  “Are worms tasty?” Steve interjected, to which both Spock and Drew turned to look at the undead.

  “Ya know, I’ve never tried them and I’m inclined not to,” Drew answered after pausing for a moment.

  Spock gagged, “Grub are not people food, Mr. Steve. They’re slimy, they wriggle everywhere and they live in the dirt, mud, and… other unspeakable places.”

  “I’d try them, slimy and wriggly sounds interesting.” Steve shrugged and his words this time caused Drew to gag as well.

  “I thought undead can’t taste anything other than the bean water?” Spock questioned.

  Steve nodded, “Coffee is good, yes. But we will never know unless we try. At the very least we would be able to feel them as they slide down. I’d imagine that they would have a pleasant texture.”

  “Alright, I’m done,” Drew said before walking away at a much faster pace and forcing down the bile that had risen from his stomach.

  “As am I, Drew Wright. On a related note, I am no longer hungry.”

  ***

  “So…” Hades said as he placed a sheet of paper down on his desk and looked up to Drew.

  “So?”

  “You’re back.”

  “Uh… yeah?” Drew said in a confused manner as he cocked his head.

  Did Hades lose his marbles or something?

  The god sighed, “I just listened to a woman’s prayers from over in Alaska. Last week her husband was pulled out of their home by a D-Grade Glacial Grizzly Bear, right through a closed window mind you. She listened to his cries as he was dragged off to the wood behind their home, and she listened to his dying screams.”

  “That’s incredibly sad, were you able to help her at all?”

  “Yes,” Hades nodded, “Her husband’s soul had already departed for The Halls of Reflection, but I raised his body and used it to track down the bear, slaughter it, and leave its decapitated head on a frozen icicle outside their house.”

  “That’s… incredibly morbid,” Drew said, “But… uh what does that have to do with me being here?”

  “The woman lost her husband and only surviving family member. She’s prayed to me twice, the first asking for revenge and to comfort her husband’s soul, and the second to thank me.”

  “Okayyy…” Drew nodded slowly, not sure where this was going.

  “You’ve come to me eleven times in the last month, Kid. So, I must ask, you being here, do you require divine intervention?”

  Oh… yeah, okay I guess he’s a bit peeved that I’ve been bugging him so much.

  “No, I just wanted to thank you.”

  “Thank me?” Hades asked as he stood up with a smile.

  “Yes, your advice was solid and I had many volunteers from Bonetown. I wanted to say thanks for suggesting I go there before making a decision. It likely saved me from making a decision I really didn’t want to.”

  “I see. Well, you’re welcome,” Hades said more warmly.

  “And on that note, I’m going to begin work on my army.”

  “Hereee we go,” Hades said as he began to massage his temples.

  Drew ignored the god and continued, “Anyways, I’m planning to go with a more ‘classic’ undead army. Swords and shields, archers, mage support. Before I pull the trigger I just wanted to ask if what I’m about to do is incredibly stupid and there are some other forces at play that I’m unaware of.”

  “Wait…” Hades dropped his hands from his head and locked eyes with Drew, “So you’re here to confirm that your decision isn’t about to rip open a hole in time or space, or bring unspeakable evils to Earth?”

  “Uh… I wouldn’t exactly word it like that, but yes?” Drew cocked his head slightly.

  Hades physically leapt in the air with a single first raised high, “Eureka! By The Lady, I think you’ve finally started using that gray matter in that thick skull of yours!”

  Err… why do I feel like that’s an insult?

  “Thanks… I guess?”

  “Good on you, Kid! Seriously, you had me and Raynalyr worried for some time now, it’s good to see you’re capable of learning, even if it is extremely slow. You weren’t exactly top of your class, were you?” The last part the god asked in a more of a whisper.

  Drew shrugged, “Top five percent or so, why do you ask.”

  “Oh boy, the education system here was so fucked,” Hades said with exasperation before continuing, “To answer your question, no. A classic army as you called it, is perfectly fine. Thank you for asking, and uh… maybe ask The Lady more of this stuff in the future.”

  “I try not to bother her too much, she always seems super busy and she’s a tiny bit scary sometimes.”

  Hades nodded, “She is, and she sure as hell can be. But I’m also busy, and you can contact her anytime you like. Now, please leave before I develop a hernia. Come back in a couple of weeks and we can go grab a drink together.”

  “Sure, sounds good.”

  If he was that annoyed with me, I guess it’s lucky that he didn’t smite me… maybe he’s right. I should think things through better and then ask for clarification before doing anything big. The last thing I need is to piss the gods off, or ruin the world.

  ***

  “Am I really that scary?” The Lady asked as she appeared moments after Drew left, causing Hades to nearly leap out of his own skin.

  “Could you knock?”

  The Primordial of Death glared daggers at Hades

  “Yes, yes you are scary,” Hades chuckled nervously while pulling at his collar.

  The Lady cupped her chin, “Something to work on I suppose. Perhaps I should ask my sister for guidance on how to better ingrain myself with mortals.”

  Hades laughed, “She just opens her legs. You’re different than she is, you need to find your own way.”

  The Baleful Lady winced, “True enough. How did you accomplish it? Drew seems to find you far more approachable.”

  “It helps that I’ve lived among them for millennia, not as a god, but as one of them. The only time you interact with them is during your official duties in The Halls,” Hades paused before continuing, “On the bright side, the Kid seems to be doing better. Using his brain for once.”

  “Indeed, we just need to keep a continued watch on him. With his strength and affinities, if he makes a mistake, it could easily grow to become something that he will regret deeply.”

  “He already has with those artificially ensouled.”

  “Yes, that was unfortunate. But…” She let out an aggravated sigh before cursing under her breath, “I need to get back. The twins have become increasingly active as of late, and I feel their eyes on me.”

  “Ugh.” Hades groaned, “Best be off then.”