My name is Rose, just Rose. There's no doubt I'm a beautiful girl. Some even say I'm an angel descended from heaven. Though it's an exaggeration, I agree with them.

  I'm an author of a not-so-famous novel. Novels where the protagonist and his harems always win are widespread in the world. That's why I don't want to be one of those authors.

  They just seek readers for money. They don't aim to give art to their readers.

  I don't want to be like that. Besides, I write only as a hobby. That's why I don't think too much about the future of the novels I've created.

  Seeing the small number of readers doesn't make me give up on creating real art. After all, I enjoy doing it. Even though I have to delve into the bad memories of my life just to write a few sentences that can make me satisfied. Because I write with feeling, not just with the desire to become someone great.

  I'm satisfied with myself now. I don't regret anything except my job, which could be considered quite disgusting. But that's life, and it will always be that way. That's why writing novels became my hobby, because I can continuously pour out the contents of my mind that I can't express with my own mouth.

  It feels truly delightful when I feel like I'm writing with emotion.

  I remember painful memories when writing painful things.

  I remember pleasant memories when writing happy things.

  I use my memories and all my life experiences just to write a sentence or a word to become a story in the form of a novel.

  Maybe that's why I feel satisfied when I read my novel after I've successfully created it. Because I know that I've poured everything I can into the story of the novel I've created.

  I don't regret choosing my path in life. Even though there have been many failures along the way, it's precisely all these failures that created who I am today. The me who can enjoy life, even just because of the small happiness that happens around me.

  The bad comments scattered on social media about my novels don't make me think about quitting for a second. Because I write to have fun creating art, not to get attention from those people.

  Knowing that some silent readers still follow my novels actually makes me even more enthusiastic, knowing that there are other people who are interested in my novels.

  It's just that I regret one thing in my life. That regret comes from my memory of my first novel. I regret it because I hate it.

  To be honest, I didn't just end up in the phase of my life like this.

  This story begins when I was still in high school, in my third year. A few months before graduation and I still didn't have any goals for the future.

  Most of my female friends didn't think too much about it either. Because most of them felt they didn't need to look for jobs because all they had to do was marry a rich and handsome man. That's why some of them chose to go to college, because in the world of college they could get wider connections to find the right partner for their future. Some of them also planned to get married after graduation.

  But I was different from them. I never thought about getting married right away. It just made me feel that I was very pathetic as a human being.

  I didn't want to live as a parasite at home and leave everything to my future husband. Besides, I never had any plans to get married.

  Not because I didn't have a partner. Actually, I admit that I'm very beautiful and can even very easily find a partner. But I just never found the right person to give a chance to.

  Most men just looked at me with lustful eyes. What they wanted wasn't me, but just my body. I hated it, I hated the fake relationship created by lust disguised by words of love that weren't real.

  I never believed that love was something real. I denied the existence of true love. I only believe in love for family. I only believe in my mother's love for me who always takes care of me. I only believe in my father's love for me who always provides for the family with a smile, even though he always looks tired in the middle of the night when he's alone eating on the couch while watching TV until he falls asleep. I wouldn't accept anyone's love other than my family's love for me. Because I believe that there is no pure love.

  I know my thinking is wrong. But I just can't accept it. I know there are many forms of love, but I don't want that kind of love.

  There are only two types of love that I know in this world.

  One is love that grows from attraction, this love grows because someone feels attracted to their partner's charm and slowly tries to love their partner.

  Then the second is love that is created out of necessity, this is love that grows slowly for their partner because they need their partner.

  Love isn't too bad if I don't think about it too much. But when I think about it, I can't ignore it anymore.

  Love created by attraction, of course one of them is lust.

  Love created out of necessity, this is what most of my friends do, namely looking for rich people.

  The more I think about love, the more I feel there are more reasons why love can grow.

  Maybe because I think like this, that's why I choose to never accept anyone's invitation to date.

  I chose to be alone, to be a lone wolf who tries to be independent on my own. This is my choice, of course I have to try to realize what I want.

  That's why I started to find out, I looked for things that I could do in the future or starting now.

  I found a way to make money that was quite easy and didn't interfere with my study time.

  This is where my story as a writer began. A story that is the beginning of everything that created who I am today.

  I practiced and kept practicing writing and researching everything I needed to become an online novelist.

  I didn't want failure to happen, I wanted everything to be perfect, I didn't want my journey to be bad because of my shortcomings as a writer. That's why I spent my time just studying and writing.

  Until finally my school graduation ceremony is about to start in a few days, I finally decided to start publishing the story I created as an online novelist. Of course, after all the preparations I've done have been enough for me.

  But unfortunately, my first novel failed, I felt it failed because there were so many curses scattered around.

  The second one also failed, the third, the fourth, the fifth, until finally I was tired of counting and didn't care anymore.

  It made me quit because of depression and choose to create a new account to start a new journey.

  I always wonder why I failed. I don't understand why I failed. I don't know why I failed either. But when I reread my first novel, I realized.

  I never failed at all.

  I just felt like a failure because other people said so.

  I let other people destroy my life just with a sentence of insult.

  I could have ignored it, but I thought the opposite.

  Until finally I found a comment:

  "Hey author, why did you stop writing this story? Was it that easy for you to give up just because of a few stupid people who don't understand how great your story is? I'm disappointed in you, even though this story has the potential to become a masterpiece that I can be proud of because I've read it."

  I regretted it and immediately tried to log back into my old account after crying and deciding to continue the novels I had abandoned. But it was all too late, I forgot my account password. I never wrote it down anywhere. Because from the beginning, I never thought of coming back.

  I regretted it, only regret I could feel, because I could only regret.

  But I didn't give up just like that. I started working in real life and slowly rebuilt my image as a novelist. Now I write novels not to make money, but to create art. Because I realized that I enjoyed writing.

  I finally realized all of that and grew faster as a writer. Word by word, sentence by sentence, chapter by chapter, as time went on I grew and developed as a writer, as well as a human being.

  I don't regret any failure, if I have a regret, maybe that regret comes from the memory of my self who didn't realize that I had left something that was actually important to me.

  I live a life I can be proud of with an open heart. I'm also grateful to be able to experience life.

  But for some reason, as I enjoy all of that, I have a heart attack and die.

  The strange thing is that what I found after death wasn't heaven or hell, nor was it an endless darkness. Actually, I suddenly saw a school desk that I didn't recognize.

  I looked around and realized I was in a class I didn't know with some other people there who also looked confused.

  Everyone was just silent and looking at each other. Everyone was anxious, but no one tried to start a conversation.

  Suddenly, a headless person appeared in front of the blackboard, surprising and scaring everyone.

  But unexpectedly, he was quite friendly to everyone there and explained our situation well.

  Basically everyone in this class is dead and has one thing in common, we are all writers.

  Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

  We were then challenged to fight each other as writers, but not with words, but with real-life action.

  When we asked why it had to be like that, he just answered:

  "Isn't this more fun?"

  We couldn't refuse that. Besides, the prize for the winner was very tempting. The prize was to be brought back to life.

  Of course I wanted to live, so I chose to participate and agreed to join the fight.

  The fight was quite simple, I just had to choose which story I had created that was the best in my opinion and the headless person was the one who would create the playing field.

  We were allowed to make the story even better or choose to not do anything and let the story run as it should.

  Only there was something we had to do and it made me quite confused.

  We had to participate as one of the characters in our own story. That made me think for several days just because I was confused about which of my stories I wanted to use and which character was best for me.

  We were also told that the judges were the readers. I didn't quite understand who those readers were, but I or the others didn't ask any further questions. Because our minds were more focused on the prize of this game.

  I was very serious when I planned it. I was determined to come back to life. Because I was already happy with my life now. I didn't want to die, even when I still didn't have a partner.

  I haven't even gotten married and I have to die? I don't want that more than anyone else in this strange classroom.

  As I seriously considered the plan, I also remembered my regret and finally chose the first novel I abandoned.

  Initially, the headless person asked if I was sure I wanted to use the unfinished story. But precisely because of that, I chose it. I want to finish it and make a perfect ending for this story.

  Maybe this is just a form of atonement for forgiving myself. But I really want to do this, even though my life now is at stake.

  The headless person actually agreed. It's just that there was one disadvantage I got because I chose this option. The disadvantage was that this story could end even with just one chapter. Because the one who chose when the story ended wasn't me, but the readers.

  Honestly, it made me scared, but my determination was strong. I'd rather do it than regret it later.

  We were given time to prepare, namely to make plans and ask questions and try to understand the rules little by little. Until finally the time came for the match to start, I and some other people who were my rivals opened the school gate that had been our home for so long. Slowly out of the gate and into our respective stories as the characters we chose.

  It's really strange that I entered the story by being reborn as a beautiful girl who should have been the character from the novel I created.

  Claire Plott, a white-haired girl with blue eyes. Her beautiful face with a rare hair color in this world, she's always the center of attention of the people around her, both men and women.

  In the future, Claire will become one of the important heroines in the story. She is a beautiful, dignified, intelligent, and also reliable senior.

  But she has a weakness, she has a split personality because of her sad past.

  At the age of five, her parents were destined to die in an accident while she was on vacation with them. Then after that she would be adopted into her grandmother's house, which turned out to be next door to the house of one of the other heroines in this story. It was the heroine who formed the bond of friendship between the main character and Claire, until finally a feeling of love slowly grew between them.

  But of course I wouldn't let that happen. Even though I feel this is just a story, I feel real warmth when my mother's hand hugs my body when she just gave birth to me. They look like real people, no... I have to think that they are human beings just like me. I can't let cruel things happen around me.

  I decided not to follow the real story scenario, but continued to try to stay within the plot.

  As time went on, my awareness grew stronger, so I finally realized that it wasn't just me controlling my thoughts. I feel like there's someone else besides me who sometimes takes over my thoughts and also controls my emotions. I wasn't too surprised because I thought it was the real Claire.

  The more I grew up, the harder it was for me to get the awareness as "Claire". I also realized that the real Claire was in the same condition as me. Some people around me also said that I sometimes became a different person than usual.

  I even once unconsciously spent three full days without consciousness and unintentionally let the real Claire take over my mind and body to the fullest. It almost made me disappear, it made me feel like I was about to disappear from this world, but for some reason I came back.

  Since then, I've become easier to take over or give authority to the real Claire to use this body sometimes. I feel that my control is now in myself, not in her anymore. Even though I don't understand very well, but I feel that way.

  All those strange things didn't bother my plan too much. I'm grateful that the problem has been successfully handled even though I didn't do anything before the time of my plan was implemented.

  My first plan in this world, the plan I had to do when I was still in junior high. A plan that I had made carefully before I was born into this world. That plan is to eliminate a character from the story.

  This character is just a character that is rarely even mentioned in my novel. This character is a supporting character who plays the role of a supporting villain. But this supporting role is called a legend, even when he's not the main villain.

  He is famous in the world of criminals and worshipped like a god because of his skills.

  He's a cruel man but never kills. But he only supports others to kill other humans with his services.

  He is called "the hacker", because of his skills in finding someone's information quickly and accurately. He's called "the legend" because he has extraordinary connections in the underworld. He's called "the lazy genius" because he only gives his services when he wants to. He's called "the crazy one" because of the rumors that say he's someone with an unstable mind. He's called "the mysterious one" because no one ever knows his real name.

  He is indeed not a villain, he also never once directly tried to stop the protagonist from saving his harems. It's just that if he wasn't there, the villains in the future would also become weak. I believe that because I am the one who created him. I know him better than anyone in this world, including himself.

  That's why I chose to eliminate him. He's a nuisance in the form of a human being. He's a big wall even though he didn't mean to be.

  Not only that, the other reason is because he destroyed his own family. And one of his families is a heroine who will be the protagonist's partner in the future.

  Therefore, before he destroys his family. I have to destroy him with my own hands.

  When the appointed day arrived, I went to sleep quickly because I knew that the dream I got that night wasn't just an ordinary dream. Because that night I got the privilege to talk again to the headless person who guided me when I wasn't born into this world.

  In that dream, I was given the right to make seven wishes to help me. Even though there are some limitations to prevent disrupting the balance of the world.

  My first wish, of course, was to eliminate the existence of the character I mentioned before.

  I feel like God because I can do that easily. I don't even have any doubts that my request will be denied.

  I'm the author of this story, aren't I? What's wrong with eliminating one or two unimportant characters in the story?

  But it turned out that the wish had consequences, and I had to take responsibility for it. I thought it wouldn't be a problem, because all I did was take all the memories that the character had and make them my own memories.

  At that moment I fainted because I was shocked by hundreds or even millions of memory frames and also some small pieces of special memories with emotions that had enveloped them.

  I fainted and entered the memory of the character whose name I didn't even know and explored them one by one. Those memories appeared in my dreams and I felt like I was being taken into a fairy tale world. With the headless man who entered my dream, I explored those memories and began to understand the past of that character.

  That's when I realized that this world wasn't just a story based on my novel alone. This world stands alone and is only spiced up by some narratives I created in my novel. In the end, this is still another world that I don't know.

  Why could I think like this? Of course, it was because of this man's memory.

  This man is a man who has a very dark past. It didn't even exist in my novel manuscript.

  This man is a man who lost his real family when he was on vacation as a child. This scenario is not in my novel.

  This man is a man who lost his desire to live after losing his family. But he tried to rise alone slowly when he was still in an orphanage. I never wrote character development as good as this, I haven't developed that far as a writer when I wrote my first novel.

  But he lost his desire to live again after he got what he wanted when he got his new family. He wanted atonement and he got it but felt betrayed because of what he wanted. I couldn't possibly write a character as complex as this in my first novel.

  From the beginning, I never had any desire to develop this nameless character into an important figure.

  Even a few moments ago, I only considered him as a nuisance or a pest in this story.

  But now I realize, he's a human too.

  "Do you regret it?" That question was said by the headless man to me.

  I didn't answer him, but instead I felt it. Feeling regret after doing something I shouldn't have done.

  I've eliminated human...

  I just wanted to live easily, even in this story. I didn't even think that the people around me were human too. I just said that I understood they were human. But now I understand, I really understand they are human.

  When you think about it, aren't I a stranger in this world? Aren't I a fake thing in this world? I shouldn't be in this world.

  I want to go home, but my task isn't finished yet. But I don't want to do it again, but if that's the case, I won't be able to go home. In the end, I have to keep doing it.

  I didn't cry because of that regret, I just thought about how I should solve the problem I had made.

  When I thought I could restore the existence of that nameless character by using one of my remaining six wishes, I immediately realized that was impossible. Because one of the limitations was that I couldn't ask for a wish that was the opposite of another wish.

  That's why I asked myself to be given the ability to rewind time. Even though there were some limitations set, I could rewind time to the time before I asked for the wish to eliminate the existence of the nameless character.

  But it turned out it was in vain, all my wishes were considered absolute and equal. Even time won't be able to help me. I can't do anything to help me. I can't do anything to fix my mistakes.

  After realizing the despair facing me, I unconsciously cried. The tears I held back because I thought I could still do something before now could no longer be contained. The tears couldn't stop flowing until finally I was tired of crying and fell fast asleep until the next day.

  Everything I do is in vain. I can't save the nameless character. I can't save someone I've already erased. It's my fault, my responsibility, my choice, my regret. Even so, I can't do anything to fix it. I even begged the headless creature with tears in my eyes to make an exception this time. I even promised that I wouldn't make this kind of mistake again. I won't rush into anything again until I know everything about it. But it's too late. I can't erase what's already happened. My mistake is permanent, and I realize it will continue to cut into my heart with guilt until I die.

  After that, I visited the home of the person I eliminated from this world. I met his family, who looked harmonious without his presence. I couldn't say anything except to act like someone who was exhausted from searching all day for a fake address I made up. I felt uncomfortable, even though I should have felt comfortable with the friendly reception that family gave me. I felt like something was wrong, even though I knew there was nothing wrong. I felt strange, even though nothing was strange.

  Because what made me uncomfortable, feel like something was wrong, and also feel strange was myself. I was uncomfortable because I felt guilty. I felt like something was wrong because I felt weird about that peaceful situation. I felt very strange because I was trying to adapt and appear comfortable at that time. In the end, all I wanted was for that person to return to this world. I wanted to atone for my sins to him. But I know I can't do that. Because I realize I'm not a god. I'm just a human acting like a god. A god who made the wrong choice because of the human selfishness he possessed.

  Day after day passed until finally the beginning of the story of this story would begin. It all started when I just entered my first day in my second year of high school. The protagonist began his first arc with one of the heroines, a school idol. As I tried to think about ways to make things more interesting, I couldn't think clearly. My mind couldn't focus on anything other than unpleasant memories. It's my fault, and I know it more than anyone. I also felt like I couldn't do anything. I felt weak. I felt helpless. That's why I gave up trying to make changes to make the story more interesting for the readers, who knows where they came from and how they judge this story.

  For a month, I waited in a club that I established by myself. I kept waiting for the protagonist to come to that club to find me. I hoped the storyline wouldn't change and would end as planned. I spent days alone in that room and hoped someone would open that door sooner than destined. But no one did. Until finally the arc where it was about me arrived, the protagonist opened the club door and found me staring at a book with a serious expression. Even though I wasn't reading anything. I was just acting according to the scenario. I continued the scenario as it should have happened. Dialogue after dialogue, I managed perfectly. Until finally, according to the scenario, we were bound by a relationship called "friends."

  But the longer I looked at his face, the more I realized something I should have known from the beginning when I was waiting in that club room. It wasn't the protagonist... It wasn't him I was hoping for all this time... I never once hoped that the one who would open that door would be the protagonist. I was actually hoping for a plot twist that I understood myself was impossible to happen. I hoped the nameless character is the one who would appear in front of me.

  I don't know why I hoped to meet him. I don't know what I want to do after meeting him. I don't know anything about what I actually expected from him. I just hoped... that I could meet him for the first time and look at his face so I could recognize his face, which I didn't even know at that time.

  Maybe that's why I decided to use one of the five remaining wishes.

  Before that I returned to the past where everything was fine. The time before I decided to make my first wish. Then after that, I made a wish that the elimination of the nameless character be postponed according to the time I wanted.

  From there, I found a loophole to let the nameless character stay alive. Because I never once thought about giving a deadline for this request. I managed to save him, I felt relieved, but the guilt remained in my heart. Maybe that's why I tried to repay the character by trying to be one of the people he could talk to. I managed to do that by becoming his girlfriend.

  The significant age difference didn't make me give up trying to give him my best charm as a woman. I succeeded and he was captivated by me. But unfortunately, he was too mature for that. He was too mature to deceive himself like other people who believed that their love was true love. He realized that he was only attracted to my beautiful face and body.

  It's my fault for being too excessive in seducing him. It's also my fault because I didn't consider that he was different from other men. Unconsciously, I was attracted to him. I started to develop feelings for him. Unlike the first time I dated him because of pity. Slowly I thought that maybe this was my destiny to be with him. But I was too late to realize it. Because I realized it after he chose to break up with me.

  It doesn't mean we couldn't talk anymore. It's just that I lost the chance to meet him as often as usual. Without realizing it, I had already passed the happiest days of my life, which I had never experienced in my previous life. But I didn't know that until I regretted it.

  In the end, I just used him so my guilt would lessen over time. Knowing this makes me think that I'm not worthy of him. After that, I decided to free him from me. I let him go free and live according to his desires.

  But again... I chose the wrong option. I forgot the fact that the nameless character was the character who became a villain in the future.

  Worse, the story wasn't finished, even after the ending should have been achieved perfectly. It's like I'm watching a continuation of a story that should have already ended. And of course, I don't have any information about it. It's out of my control, and it's not my creation either. Making me more convinced that this world isn't just a story.

  Actually, I don't really care anymore about going home or anything that will happen in the future. I'm happy enough living in this world, even though I have to pretend to love the protagonist just to continue my life. Because I was warned that if the story becomes very boring, then this world will be destroyed because it's considered unnecessary. But it doesn't make me stressed or depressed either. I even feel challenged because there's something that makes me have to fight.

  However, what I can't ignore is that the nameless character has become a villain. He even kills people without hesitation. He's become crueler than he should be. Without realizing it, he even became the main villain and died before my own eyes. I couldn't even stop the protagonist from stabbing the nameless character's heart. I couldn't do anything just because I was afraid of being hated by others because of it. In the end, he still died, even without my involvement. I tried to convince myself that this time wasn't my fault. But the feelings that have grown in my heart prevent me from deceiving myself. This love kills me and forces me to turn back time so I can see his face again.

  But in this second time, the future became worse. Big and strange towers appeared from the sky like meteors and pierced the earth, then released monsters endlessly, resulting in the nameless character dying because he was crushed by one of the thousands of large towers that fell from the sky. I turned back time again because I didn't want to give up. In the third loop, I managed to save him by bringing him to a safe place. But strange monsters with unreasonable power killed him and me afterwards.

  I kept rewinding time, trying, and failing. I didn't give up that easily and tried over and over again. But this world seemed to want the nameless character's death. I even tried to force him to board a plane with the safest air route on the day the towers appeared. But the monsters that could fly from all directions didn't let the plane fly alone. As if that character had become bait for those monsters. I started to think he was attracting the monsters, even though I didn't understand why that can happen.

  For hundreds of times until i stop count, I tried until I was sure that he was really like meat thrown in the middle of the ocean filled with hundreds of sharks. I even used my fourth wish to eliminate those towers. But the headless creature came to my dream and warned me that those towers were the result of another challenger's request. I then realized that I wasn't the only "stranger" in this world.

  I tried to make a wish to delay the appearance of the towers. But it contradicted the previous wish of the other challenger mentioned earlier. In the end, I gave up. I couldn't do anything to save him. This time, I really couldn't do anything except cry and lament my fate.

  From that moment on, I decided to let that character die and choose to live alone while carrying the guilt on my shoulders. Until one day, I accidentally met his father sitting in a park on a quiet night. I wasn't too surprised that his father was there. Because this park was known for its atmosphere that supported contemplation. That's why I've been staring at the night sky in this park lately. But that night was the first time I met his father.

  I didn't expect that my conversation with his father that night would take me back to the past to make atonement for the last time.