I remember a classic line from Wong Kar-wai's movie, which is actually from Buddhist scriptures: "The flag hasn't moved, the wind hasn't blown, it's just people's hearts that are moving." Although I was young when I watched it and only enjoyed the excitement, I still remembered this awesome phrase.

  Indeed, the outside world is calm, but everything is shaken in my heart. Now I finally understand this truth, and this is probably the first time I've harmed someone. Because when I told Lao Yi about my plan, I didn't feel a single bit of guilt in my heart; on the contrary, I thought I was completely doing it for the good of the people.

  What was the original intention of Ninth Uncle wanting me to learn the "Three Pure Books"? Wasn't it just to maintain world peace and social stability? Now, what I need to do is deal with this social cancer, Yè. Whether he's human or ghost, I don't care. Grandfather once said that dating without the intention of getting married is just being a playboy.

  Chairman Mao once ordered to overthrow all the ox ghosts and snake gods, what he said is the truth, political power comes from the barrel of a gun, and brothers will never end with you!

  Although Mr. Lao Yi and I are both gentlemen of the White faction, we are also young people living in the 21st century. Although we always try to be blameless in our actions, it is no longer possible for us to be bound by those outdated rules. Society is advancing, if you don't progress, you will definitely be eliminated, this is the law of society now. Why did the White faction decline while the Blue faction became prosperous? In short, not knowing how to adapt can only make one become history.

  I said to Lao Yi, "Tomorrow will be business as usual. The day after tomorrow night, I'll think of a way to lure that scoundrel out, and then we'll knock him unconscious first. After that, let's find a place to get them married."

  Lao Yi nodded after listening, and asked me: "But how are you going to find him? Besides, why would he come out obediently?"

  I chuckled a few times and said to him, "You don't need to worry about this, I guarantee that he will come 80% of the time. We need to find a place to set things up, you know that this kind of marriage is quite troublesome and requires a lot of stuff. Let's split up and prepare tomorrow, we can choose the same place where we fought Night Fox last time. It shouldn't be too cold tonight."

  Lao Yi nodded slightly and didn't say much. After eating his fill, it was already approaching 4 am. Wen Shu said that today was the day of Li Xiao's funeral, so it seemed they had to let Lao Yi leave first, otherwise it would be hard to explain things.

  Lao Yi finished eating, seemingly having recovered his strength. He lit a cigarette and took a puff, then suddenly slapped his thigh and said to me: "Oh no, the cat is still outside! It's going to freeze to death!"

  Then he hastily ran out, brought the basket in, fortunately the animal itself was not as fragile as humans, and cats have nine lives, this little cat was still jumping around, Old Yi held the basket and said to me: "I'll go first, walking down a bit further is the street, you don't need to see me off, we can contact each other by phone later."

  I nodded, with a grateful heart, and saw Old Yi out the door, handing him the wine bottle containing the female ghost to take care of for me. After sending off Old Yi, the large house was once again empty except for me, and the female corpse in the coffin. However, I wasn't afraid at all now, because it was just a stinking sack of flesh, no different from a dead pig's meat.

  The dim lamp was still faintly lit, the longevity incense had almost burned out, I replaced the incense and sat down in the chair, starting to check my wound. My left hand was completely fine now, I have to say that this black nail polish really works, it has indeed saved me a lot of money on medical bills.

  It's just that my right hand is a bit sore, damn it, when Li Xiaojun changed, he grabbed several big mouthfuls, although the bleeding has stopped, but it still hurts and feels swollen. The most infuriating thing is that this is a place where my little finger nail can't touch, I can only stare at it helplessly, it's really suffocating.

  Sitting like this, thinking about how to get revenge on Yu Xi to feel better, I suddenly found that the sky had slowly brightened up. I saw that it was almost 5 o'clock. Today is the day of the funeral procession, and Li Gong and others will definitely return very early. So I went upstairs to find Wen Shu. In a room upstairs, I found Wen Shu sleeping like a dead pig. I sighed, you say this person, if he doesn't have a heart or lungs, how can he live so comfortably?

  So I woke him up, this old guy was probably hungover, his face looked really bad. He asked me what time it was and I told him. He yawned and said to me: "This rich family's high-end bed is really not used to us sleeping in it, I even had a nightmare, dreamed of a female ghost wailing, it scared the hell out of me."

  I secretly wiped a cold sweat, damn it, what kind of dream is this, this is more real than pearls. Fortunately, the old man fell asleep after drinking wine, otherwise something bad would have happened.

  The old man got out of bed, grumbling and complaining, then asked me: "How was it last night? Nothing happened, did you do what I told you to do? Did you sincerely burn paper and kowtow?"

  I smiled wryly and nodded, thinking to myself that if I had just followed what you said, I would have been finished by now. But you old fellow are quite decisive, because if Li Gong's family hadn't left last night, something really would have happened. Now I'm going to ask him who bought that broken pillow.

  After finishing washing up, it was already after six o'clock. At this time, Mr. Li called and asked if Uncle Wen was ready. Uncle Wen loudly boasted to Mr. Li over the phone: "Mr. Li, don't worry, I recited sutras for your mother all night last night, and after the funeral today, she will definitely go to the Pure Land."

  Mr. Li on the other end of the phone was naturally very grateful to hear Uncle Wen say that. And I thought to myself, what a load of crap, it's not that easy, your daughter is still soaking in a wine bottle right now.

  Before long, Mr. Li and his family returned, he saw that both I and Uncle Wen looked tired, because he didn't know that Uncle Wen was actually suffering from a hangover, so he felt a bit embarrassed and shook Uncle Wen's hand saying: "Master Wen, you've really gone to a lot of trouble for us, this great kindness is impossible to repay, in the future we will definitely come to thank you in person."

  Xianfeng Daogu's Wen Shu smiled slightly, but he didn't dare speak loudly now, because as soon as he opened his big mouth, others could smell the hangover breath in his mouth. He was even more tactful and didn't open his mouth, just nodded with a smile on his face, and everything was self-evident without saying a word.

  It was almost eight o'clock in the morning, and most of the people who came to mourn had arrived. As expected from high society, there were about 70 or 80 cars parked outside, and those entering the house were all dignitaries. I found that You Xi, that scoundrel, also came looking decent for once.

  This sloppy guy is wearing all black today, with a small carnation pinned to his chest. He's waving at someone while pulling out his handkerchief and pretending to wipe away tears.

  I saw his behavior and couldn't help but curse in my heart: "You bastard, how dare you show up? If it weren't for drinking with you, would others have died? Looking at your behavior, it's really disgusting no matter how I look at it. You're pretending to be the captain of the Korean gymnastics team - what a joke!

  But now there are many people, and I don't want to make a scene. Today, by the way, this guy has clearly discovered me. He was stunned when he saw me, obviously very surprised that someone as poor and wretched as me would also appear in this place. However, due to the crowd, he didn't show too much expression, but rather gave me a fierce and arrogant stare before turning around to continue chatting with people and soliciting sympathy, afraid that others wouldn't know that the deceased was his girlfriend.

  I let out a cold laugh, thinking to myself, "Go ahead and glare, you piece of trash, tomorrow night I'll make you cry so hard you won't even be able to find the tone!"

  Before long, the time for the funeral arrived. Due to the unusual circumstances of this death, according to Uncle Wen's arrangement, after the Li family relatives were in place, an elder would carry a soul-guiding chicken into the courtyard and slaughter it.

  But the chicken was killed last night, and Lao Yi threw it away when he left. What to do? No way, I had to pretend that nothing had happened. Asking three times without knowing, seeing that the time has arrived, but there is no soul-chicken, Li's family is anxious. After all, this is a very unlucky thing.

  Fortunately, Wen Shu was a cunning old man, and his adaptability was indeed the best among all the people I had seen. He immediately put on a very relieved expression and said to Li Gong: "Li Gong, don't worry about it. Although this matter is suspicious, there is also reason in it. Just now, I calculated with my fingers and already knew that the soul-guiding chicken had taken the lead and dragged Miss's soul to the place where she would be buried a thousand miles away. We just need to go there and help her rest in peace. This is an auspicious omen!"

  It doesn't matter what kind of lie it is, as long as it comes out of Wen Shu's mouth, it sounds like the truth. Li Gong didn't understand what was going on either, but he trusted Wen Shu completely. If Wen Shu said it was a good omen, then it must be a good omen. So the chicken-killing ceremony was cancelled and they moved on to the next step.

  The so-called horizontal death refers to the funeral, which is an extremely unlucky thing. The resentful dead are the souls that cannot be found. Therefore, the coffin lid cannot be covered, and only three pieces of light gauze can be used to cover the body. These three pieces of light gauze also have a story, called "three-zhang curtain". One is to avoid the condensation of resentment. Two are to avoid sunlight exposure. Three are to avoid family members seeing it later and feeling sad.

  As I listened to Uncle Wen's words, I thought to myself that this old guy really understands some things. Yes, this is indeed the authentic way of holding a funeral. It seems that Uncle Wen isn't just all talk after all.

  The family members all took their seats, and the house fell silent, waiting for the old man to begin. Wen Shu cleared his throat and spoke in a dignified, solemn, and slightly magnetic voice: "Gentlemen, today is the tenth day of the third month of the year of the Water Ox, it is the day of great joy for Li Gong's family in Harbin. As the saying goes, 'It is not that children do not want to be filial, but it is their fate.' This is the will of heaven, and now the time has come. Fire three shots!"

  After Ninth Uncle finished speaking, he took out three firecrackers and had me go outside to set them off. After I finished setting them off and returned inside, Wen Shu said: "The first explosion is for the tears of one's parents, the second is for the soul to return, and the third is for the thunder that separates the worlds. Now that the three firecrackers have been set off, those born in the year of the dragon, dog, or mouse, please turn around!"

  Then many people in the house turned around, of course, this is also a saying, because of the taboo of the funeral, it's not easy for people of these ages to see the deceased being carried out.

  Of course, I am a dragon, although what Uncle Wen said is all from books, I still think it's unnecessary, why? Because this corpse is now just a piece of rotten meat, the soul is not here at all!

  So I didn't turn around, and Wen Shu also didn't notice. Seeing that many people had already turned their heads, he opened his mouth to the men who were ready to lift the coffin and said: "The time has come! Lift the coffin and send Li's daughter to the underworld!"