[2:11 P.M.] Lil Xander
Yo I kinda need help with lunch
[2:12 P.M.] Isla HAHAHAH I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH YOUR NAME AND YOU CANT SEE IT
What?
Help how?
[2:12 P.M.] Lil Xander
Making it
I'm starving and I have no idea what to do with the shit I was given
[2:13 P.M.] Isla HAHAHAH I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH YOUR NAME AND YOU CANT SEE IT
What do you have
[2:16 P.M.] Lil Xander
I don't know a ton of dairy shit
Like
Dammit
Is there a camera on this thing
Can we even send pictures
Hold on I found it
[2:19 P.M.] Isla HAHAHAH I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH YOUR NAME AND YOU CANT SEE IT
Take your time
[2:19 P.M.] Lil Xander
IMG_021814_001.HEIC
All right I guess it sends pictures as links
That's cool
[2:20 P.M.] Isla HAHAHAH I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH YOUR NAME AND YOU CANT SEE IT
What am I looking at
[2:20 P.M.] Lil Xander
My fridge
[2:21 P.M.] Isla HAHAHAH I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH YOUR NAME AND YOU CANT SEE IT
No shit it's your fridge
But I can't see half of what's in it
[2:25 P.M.] Isla HAHAHAH I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH YOUR NAME AND YOU CANT SEE IT
You've got eggs
Why not make an omelet or something
[2:25 P.M.] Lil Xander
Bitch I don't know how to do that
I can barely make eggs scrambled
[2:25 P.M.] Isla HAHAHAH I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH YOUR NAME AND YOU CANT SEE IT
You
Don't
Know how to cook eggs?
[2:26 P.M.] Lil Xander
I don't
[2:26 P.M.] Isla HAHAHAH I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH YOUR NAME AND YOU CANT SEE IT
What kind of family were you raised by
[2:26 P.M.] Lil Xander
I don't know! And I can't do shit!
How many cooks do you know who are self taught!
[2:27 P.M.] Isla HAHAHAH I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH YOUR NAME AND YOU CANT SEE IT
Xander
You are going to die after the first week
[2:27 P.M.] Lil Xander
I know!!!!!!!!!!
I'm fucked!!!
[2:29 P.M.] Isla HAHAHAH I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH YOUR NAME AND YOU CANT SEE IT
What's in your cabinets
[2:30 P.M.] Lil Xander
I have no idea
A bunch of obscurely labeled boxes
It just looks like a bunch of ingredients and additives or something
[2:30 P.M.] Isla HAHAHAH I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH YOUR NAME AND YOU CANT SEE IT
Specifics would be helpful
[2:32 P.M.] Lil Xander
God dammit what did YOU have for lunch
[2:32 P.M.] Isla HAHAHAH I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH YOUR NAME AND YOU CANT SEE IT
A sandwich
Do you have bread
[2:33 P.M.] Lil Xander
No
And I wouldn’t eat it anyway I have a grain allergy
[2:33 P.M.] Isla HAHAHAH I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH YOUR NAME AND YOU CANT SEE IT
beta
Well send the pictures I guess
[2:34 P.M.] Lil Xander
IMG_023156_002.HEIC
IMG_023332_003.HEIC
IMG_023341_004.HEIC
IMG_023350_005.HEIC
[2:36 P.M.] Isla HAHAHAH I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH YOUR NAME AND YOU CANT SEE IT
You have a spaghetti box and a jar of sauce
Why not cook that up
[2:36 P.M.] Lil Xander
Well I don't know how to do that either
Sorry that I'm such an inferior being
[2:37 P.M.] Isla HAHAHAH I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH YOUR NAME AND YOU CANT SEE IT
Dude the cooking instructions should be right on the box
You literally just boil it in water and add sauce to it
And meat if you have it
[2:37 P.M.] Lil Xander
But how am I supposed to know if I'm doing it right
I might set the room on fire or something
I don't know how ovens work
[2:38 P.M.] Isla HAHAHAH I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH YOUR NAME AND YOU CANT SEE IT
Xander
You boil water in a pot
You dump the spaghetti in
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You wait until it gets noodly
You dump the water out
You mix the sauce in
And then you eat it
You're overcomplicating this
[2:39 P.M.] Lil Xander
It's complicated for someone with no idea what any of the buttons or knobs or 40000 different kinds of fucking pots and pans means
[2:39 P.M.] Isla HAHAHAH I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH YOUR NAME AND YOU CANT SEE IT
Trial and error
[2:39 P.M.] Lil Xander
I AM NOT **TRIAL AND ERRORING+++*** THIS
I DONT WANT TO SET MY KITCHEN ON FIRE
[2:40 P.M.] Isla HAHAHAH I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH YOUR NAME AND YOU CANT SEE IT
Dude it doesn't matter if you destroy your oven or something
I'm sure the host people will install a new one overnight
[2:40 P.M.] Lil Xander
BUT I DONT KNOW THAT
[2:40 P.M.] Isla HAHAHAH I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH YOUR NAME AND YOU CANT SEE IT
XANDER JUST FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS ON THE BOX
YOULL FIGURE IT OUT WITH PRACTICE
[2:41 P.M.] Lil Xander
Can you at least just walk me through it so I don't screw anything up
[2:44 P.M.] Isla HAHAHAH I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH YOUR NAME AND YOU CANT SEE IT
??
man get your fucking bourgeois ass out of here
you reaally need someone to hold your hand cooking fuckin spaghetti?
[2:45 P.M.] Lil Xander
You are so fucking useless
I'm asking someone else
[2:45 P.M.] Isla HAHAHAH I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH YOUR NAME AND YOU CANT SEE IT
lmao good luck
[2:45 P.M.] Lil Xander
I WILL gave good luck
No thanks to you
[2:45 P.M.] Isla HAHAHAH I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH YOUR NAME AND YOU CANT SEE IT
Have*
[2:46 P.M.] Lil Xander
Leave me alone
Lil Xander[133-403-1529], Fobobobobo[133-235-6131]
[2:52 P.M.] Lil Xander
Fobo I need help
Isla is being a dramatic bitch and won't help me figure out how to make lunch
[2:52 P.M.] Fobobobobo
What do u mean
[2:53 P.M.] Lil Xander
THE FUCK DO YOU THINK IT MEANS
I NEED LUNCH
[2:53 P.M.] Fobobobobo
Then get lunch
[2:53 P.M.] Lil Xander
I can't fucking cook
And all I can find is cooking shit
[2:55 P.M.] Fobobobobo
Cooking is easy
Whats ur problem
[2:55 P.M.] Lil Xander
….I dont know how to do it
Like at all
[2:55 P.M.] Fobobobobo
How
[2:59 P.M.] Lil Xander
. . . I never learned
[3:05 P.M.] Lil Xander
Fobo please I'm fucking starving
I don't want to eat dry noodles to not be the first person who starves to death
[3:05 P.M.] Fobobobobo
What r u confused by
[3:05 P.M.] Lil Xander
The whole process
All of it
[3:05 P.M.] Fobobobobo
?
Are u ill
How old are u
[3:06 P.M.] Lil Xander
What does it matter
Motherfucker can you help me or not
I've been trying to do this for an hour and nobody is helping
[3:07 P.M.] Fobobobobo
I'm still confused on what the ask is
[3:07 P.M.] Lil Xander
LUNCH!!!!!!
What did YOU have for lunch
[3:07 P.M.] Fobobobobo
Grilled cheese and french fries
[3:08 P.M.] Lil Xander
Are you fucking kidding me
[3:08 P.M.] Fobobobobo
What
[3:08 P.M.] Lil Xander
I can't do anything with that
I have a grain allergy
How do you cook french fries
[3:08 P.M.] Fobobobobo
With a frier
[3:10 P.M.] Lil Xander
But how do I use it
[3:11 P.M.] Fobobobobo
Very carefully
[3:11 P.M.] Lil Xander
Eat shit Fobo
I can't fucking do this
I NEEDF FOOD
[3:11 P.M.] Fobobobobo
Need*
[3:12 P.M.] Lil Xander
Fucking kill yourself
Lil Xander[133-403-1529], UNKNOWN SENDER[133-622-7916]
[3:27 P.M.] Lil Xander
Goddammitfuck
Hi
Hello
I'm Xander
We don't know each other but I am not having a fantastic first day and I desperately need help because nobody is giving it
[3:29 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER
Well damn.
What is it?
[3:29 P.M.] Lil Xander
FOOD
I really need food
Something that doesn't need to be cooked
[3:30 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER
Like meal stuff?
[3:30 P.M.] Lil Xander
Like anything that keeps me from starving
[3:30 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER
Ah
Well we're all given different supplies. I have a bunch of vegan shit so I don't think I'll be any help with that
But based on some cross-referencing I did with other people, you should have a stash of snack foods in the cabinet by the TV stand
[3:34 P.M.] Lil Xander
……
I only opened the cabinet on the top when I was looking around.
Thank you sir. You may have just saved my life
[3:35 P.M.] UNKNOWN SENDER
Much obliged. And don't forget you can write requests for foodstuffs on those sticky notes.
[3:35 P.M.] Lil Xander
I'm writing a whole damn essay to those people about undsertanding skill conditions
[3:35 P.M.] Helpful guy
Enjoy yourself.
Name's Karan for future reference.
Lil Xander[133-403-1529], Isla is a useless bitch and i hope she sees that i wrote that[133-860-2774]
[3:45 P.M.] Lil Xander
Hi
It's me again
[3:45 P.M.] Isla is a useless bitch and i hope she sees that i wrote that
It certainly is
[3:46 P.M.] Lil Xander
Just wanted to let you know that I found a complete stranger to tell me where the snack cabinet was
Because he didn't enjoy watching me squirm and suffer like you and Fobo
[3:47 P.M.] Isla is a useless bitch and i hope she sees that i wrote that
Good for you
You probably don't want to live off that tho
[3:47 P.M.] Lil Xander
Fuck you I'll live off whatever I want
I hope every electronic in your apartment breaks simultaneously and your precious cooking supplies are burnt into a smoldering heep of ashes at your feet
Fobo's too
A plague o both of your houses
Pieces of shit
[3:50 P.M.] Isla is a useless bitch and i hope she sees that i wrote that
Don't forget that you're only mad because I wouldn't hold your hand through boiling a pot of water
[3:50 P.M.] Lil Xander
I haven't
And I won't