“It might not mean what we think it means,” Sasha supplies, but it sounds weak to all our ears. I shake my head.

  “No, it makes sense. Based on all the things that have been happening lately… it tracks. It also explains better why they’re trying to get us out of noticeable jobs, move us to the shadows. Less noticeable when we disappear.”

  I sink down into the desk chair behind me, but the news isn’t hitting me nearly as hard as I would expect. I don’t feel much different: A bit more urgent, sure. A bit more worried. But nothing has broken because of this revelation, the world remains intact. My calm demeanor is flipped in Asher’s case, as he scans the list fast, then again, slower this time.

  “Enna… you name isn’t on the Connectionless list?” He phrases it like a question, and I can see the unspoken words behind his eyes. Do you have a Connection I don’t know about? Have you been hiding even more from me?

  I’m as confused as he is, for a moment, before seeing the date on top of the paper. “This was taken a month before my birthday. You’re only officially required to list it on your forms once you turn 18, and I wasn’t yet. You’re a year older than me, remember?”

  However, curiosity gets the best of me, and I scan the lists for Sasha’s name. I’m about to give up and assume she’s like me, hasn’t officially registered yet, when I see it. “Sasha James, Connectionless.”

  “Sasha?” I question, surprised. “You’re a Connectionless?”

  She looks up from the map she’s inspecting, with a soft hm? until she registers my question. She just shrugs, goes back to working. “Yeah. I don’t really see the point in hiding it on my papers. I reveal it now, I reveal it later, doesn’t make a difference. Won’t change who I am.”

  Her response surprises me, the blunt words not fitting into the behaviours I know of her.

  “I guess that makes sense,” I supply, to fill the awkward silence that’s settled between us.

  “It gives us a deadline, at least,” Asher pipes in. I swivel to look at him confusedly.

  “Deadline?”

  “Yeah. To find the Fear Deity.” He’s the one looking inquisitively at me now, head tilted delicately to one side. “That’s the plan, isn’t it?”

  “I wasn’t aware of any plan,” I reply, the slightest hint of sarcasm creeping into my tone. “Sasha, is this what you were thinking?”

  She raises her hands above her head. “Keep me out of this, I’m just gathering information. Though… Asher has a point. Especially with this new development. We can’t exactly not do anything, can we?”

  “Tell me you weren’t planning to know all this information and just… sit on it, Enna.”

  I look between the two of them, hackles rising. “I hadn’t thought of that, okay? We just learned this, and we still barely know anything. Much less where we need to go to find the Fear Deity.”

  Asher looks a bit surprised at my outburst, but steps forward nonetheless. “That’s fine, Enna. I’m just asking questions. But we can’t do nothing with this information. If we can do something with it, we could really help people.”

  I stir uncomfortably under their gazes, avoiding eye contact as I shuffle through some of the papers in my hands.

  “Still doesn’t answer the question of where we’ll find them,” I speak up, tension still thick between us. Sasha wordlessly hands me the map she’s been studying, worn edges crinkling softly as we exchange.

  “I think,” she explains, reaching over and pointing out a circled section, “That this is where they’re planning to take all the Connectionless. There’s been a lot of construction going on out there under the radar lately, and I think it’s likely. Documents for construction are usually well recorded, but the ones we’ve received involving it are vague.”

  Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.

  “You really do get information on everything, don’t you,” Asher pipes up, and Sasha smiles.

  “No one expects anything from the little old us down in the Archives. They forget we have enough spare time to read all the new documents as we storage them.”

  At the cost of any organization, my minds quips, and I stifle a laugh.

  “In any case,” she continues, looking thoughtful, “We ought to check it out. Secretly, of course, but logically it’s the next best step. We might find something detailing where the Fear Deity is kept. If I were them, I’d be building these compounds as far away from the Deity as possible, but this might help narrow down the search.”

  Asher nods his agreement, then they both turn to look at me.

  “So we’re just going to sneak into a – possibly deadly – secret government compound to- what? Hope we find some kind of information? A shred of documentation? Why would they keep that in a place they plan to put the Connectionless in, why play with fire like that?”

  I’m frustrated by the time I get my thoughts out, worrying with the hem of my shirt. They look pensive, contemplating my outburst.

  “I mean, you have a point,” Asher concedes, looking over to where Sasha is frowning down at her research. She hums.

  “But if we’re not looking there, then where?” Sasha asks, looking up. “We have no other leads, not really.”

  “Since it seems keeping any documents in the compound seems unlikely,” Asher thinks aloud, eyes zoned out as he works the problem out. “Then what’s the opposite of a compound full of Connectionless in the middle of nowhere?”

  He looks up at me, and I do not like the look of the though in his eyes.

  “No.” I say, sternly, without giving him time to voice the thought. “I will not do that.”

  “Enna,” he tries to reason, placing a hand on my forearm. “She’s still in town. You saw her yesterday. She could probably get you in, you’re excellent at acting.”

  “Yeah, but you forget that I completely blew up at her yesterday,” I add dryly.

  “Sorry, can someone please fill me in?” Sasha pipes up, looking lost. “Who?”

  “My mother,” I sigh. “She’s a High Priest, got me fired too. Offered to hide my status as a Connectionless if I told her who was helping me look for Fear. Apparently the Deities aren’t very happy with me at the moment.” When have they ever not been, though?

  “Which raises the other problem. The Deities can see what we’re doing, and aren’t happy.”

  “Yeah, but they can’t tell who’s helping you. That has to count for something.”

  “I suppose.”

  We sit in silence again. Sasha doesn’t know enough of the situation to have full input on it, and I can tell Asher wants me to pretend. I can’t lie, it probably would help the situation. She’s so desperate to believe me, she might just accept it without second thought.

  But the thought of lying like that, of having to be that close to my mother for possibly days makes me feel physically nauseous. The very picture of us together in a Temple makes me queasy.

  But if I don’t do that, what will happen? Who’s to say if we’ll ever progress, if we’ll ever be able to help people, if we do nothing? I want to help, I do. But it all seems to risky, too rash.

  But to echo Asher’s point from earlier, how many people might get hurt if I say nothing?

  Sasha, for one, says a voice in my head that sounds suspiciously like Asher. That man on the street. The woman and child you see every day as you walk to work. All your classmates who never found a Connection. Would you really let that happen?

  “If… And I’m not saying I am,” I start, and both Sasha and Asher’s heads snap towards my voice. “But if I were to do something like that… how would we make sure I wasn’t gone for months? How do I get away once – if – I were to find something?”

  “Well, it’s not like you’re going under guise of wanting to be a prophet,” Sasha starts, speaking slowly. “Your mom wouldn’t be that gullible. Maybe-” she pauses again, wrestling with the words. “Maybe, you could say you’d like to explain yourself inside the Temple itself? Go with her acting like you want to confess from in the holy place, then find some way to sneak off.”

  “We can try and be close by?” Asher adds, eyeing me. “You can find a way to escape, and we’ll be near?”

  I bite the side of my cheek. “I don’t know. It just feels so… risky. And rash. But I guess we don’t really have anything else, do we?”

  They both nod.

  I sigh deeply, pushing off the wall I’ve been leaning on and rubbing hands together. “Guess that’s the plan then. Looks like I’m off to go find my mother.”

  With one last promise to tell Sasha the plan when it’s been made, and that my lips are sealed from now on – that came with a sharp look to Asher – I’m off, Asher catching up to me on the stairs. I wordlessly let him take the lead as we walk the halls.

  “Are you sure you’re okay to do this?” He asks, body tilted so he can face me. I nod.

  “I don’t want to. I won’t lie about that. But you made a good point. I can’t just know all this and sit on it. How many people could get hurt if I do that?”

  Asher still looks worried for me, and I add in a reassuring smile for good measure. “It won’t be fun, but I’ll be okay, Asher. It won’t kill me.”