Chapter 75: Evading Is Shameful but Useful

  Do you want to be friends?

  Although it was fragmented, Hikigaya was still able to barely understand what Sakura meant.

  Hikigaya didn't respond immediately; instead, he remained silent for a moment before sighing. "As long as you don’t mind me being someone who’s excluded from the css. But, Sakura, are you really okay with being friends with someone like me, someone who’s gloomy and disliked? There’s a good chance you’ll be ostracized by the rest of the css, and various rumors and malicious words will be aimed at you."

  "Are you sure you’re okay with being friends with someone like me? You should really think about it carefully."

  These words were meant for Sakura, but they also felt like Hikigaya's self-deprecating thoughts.

  Hikigaya wasn't joking. He genuinely wanted to protect Sakura, the socially anxious girl. In Css D, he was already at the bottom, intentionally excluded by others. If Sakura joined him, she would only be dragged into the same exclusion and snder. Hikigaya himself didn't mind those things; after all, they couldn't penetrate his defenses.

  But the girl in front of him was different. Sakura, the socially anxious ostrich girl, likely didn’t have the ability to handle such maliciousness. It could even worsen the treatment directed at her. Furthermore, Sakura seemed to have very severe social anxiety, and it was possible that she'd suffered from simir 'malice' before.

  In any case, Hikigaya didn’t want to pull this girl into the deep, bottomless pit of negativity.

  What no one noticed, however, was that Hiyori’s expression was a little off.

  Sakura slowly looked up, her eyes filled with confusion, and carefully spoke, "But... I’ve never thought about talking with Hikigaya-kun in css..."

  As soon as Sakura thought about speaking with Hikigaya in css, the curious, scrutinizing, and sometimes malicious gazes of others immediately made her tremble with fear. It was terrifying!

  "?"

  Hikigaya quickly realized he misunderstood what Sakura meant. When she said she wanted to be friends, it likely meant something closer to a 'simple acquaintance,' just like when you meet someone for the first time—nothing more, and definitely not the kind of deep understanding he had with Hiyori.

  Oh no—this is so embarrassing!

  Just recently, he had made up his mind not to repeat the same embarrassing history from middle school, but now, the boomerang had hit him so fast!

  Hikigaya's mouth twitched, and suddenly he felt the urge to run back to his dorm and hide under the covers to avoid anyone seeing him!

  "Haha, so that’s what you meant!"

  Hikigaya scratched his head, trying to cover up his internal embarrassment. He really just wanted to hide under the bnkets—so embarrassing!

  "Eh? Hikigaya-kun, why is there so much sweat on your back?"

  Hiyori asked curiously.

  "No, no, it’s nothing, just a bit hot. Yeah, it’s already May, so it’s natural for the temperature to rise, sweating more is normal. After all, summer is almost here."

  Hikigaya awkwardly expined while fanning himself with his hand, not daring to mention that he was sweating due to the extreme embarrassment of what just happened!

  Bck history +1.

  Social death +1.

  "Um, Hikigaya-kun..."

  Sakura, like a frightened kitten, spoke in a cautious voice, as if afraid of attracting attention from the others around them. "I... I don't have any friends, I can't communicate with others, and I often don’t fit in with everyone. Is it... really okay for someone like me to...?"

  Even now, Sakura still couldn’t believe that she could actually make friends, or perhaps it was her extreme ck of self-confidence and the social anxiety that caused her to feel this way.

  She avoided interactions, closed off retionships, and even doubted her own existence.

  "It’s okay~"

  Hiyori turned around and gently grabbed Sakura's hands. Her clear eyes met Sakura’s filled with insecurity and self-doubt. Hiyori smiled gently and said, "Sakura-san, if you want, can I become your friend?"

  "Eh?!"

  Sakura’s expression held a mix of surprise, self-doubt, confusion, and a little bit of uncertainty. For a moment, she didn’t know how to respond to Hiyori's kindness. The girl wanted to nod and agree, but she was afraid that "someone as introverted and useless as me" could never be accepted by the other person.

  Wouldn’t it just be something Hiyori said out of politeness, a 'joke'?

  Sakura had encountered this kind of thing before, and after that, she no longer dared to hope for friendship.

  She was terrified of interacting with people, scared to look them in the eye when speaking, and afraid of being in pces crowded with people. This was the real face of Sakura Airi, the girl without her false mask. Could the real her truly be accepted by others?

  Hikigaya saw all the hesitation and insecurity in Sakura's eyes. Suddenly, he felt a sense of déjà vu, as though he was looking at his past self, the one who had rejected the outside world. The difference was that he had once gathered the courage to step forward, only to be scarred and then closed himself off, becoming a solitary loner.

  The girl in front of him seemed to be standing on the same line, a line that divided whether she should move forward and possibly get hurt or retreat into her safe zone.

  If it had been the old Hikigaya, he would have chosen the tter, but now...

  "Sakura."

  Hikigaya walked in front of the girl, looking into her anxious eyes. He spoke seriously, "No one has ever said that you have to fit in with the group. If you want to be different, then be different! There’s nothing wrong with that! Because I’m the same way. I’ve never fit in with the surroundings, and now I still have friends like Hiyori. So, don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Evading is shameful, but very useful."

  Hikigaya just wanted to tell Sakura that it was fine not to fit in, it was fine to be different. There was nothing wrong with it. Didn’t he himself come this far like that? Didn’t Zaimokuza do the same?

  "I..."

  The girl suddenly felt a block in her chest. Ever since she was young, everyone around her, including her parents, had always pushed her to make friends, to socialize. But no one had ever told her, "Airi, if you don’t like it, it’s okay to avoid it."

  So she escaped to this school, where no one knew her, a school isoted from the outside world for three years, because... no one had ever cared about her feelings.

  Sakura’s eyes slowly became blurry, and tears unknowingly flowed down her face. She felt an urge to cry, but more than that, it was the joy of being understood.

  "Did I... say something wrong?!"

  Sakura cried, and Hikigaya panicked. He looked helplessly at Hiyori, completely not expecting Sakura to suddenly burst into tears.

  Hiyori quickly comforted Sakura, and for some reason, she felt a strange sense of mencholy, as though the cake she thought was hers alone had been secretly tasted by someone else.

  "Th-thank you, Hikigaya-kun."

  Sakura wiped away her tears and bowed deeply to Hikigaya. Hikigaya was so startled that he automatically bowed in return, and the two of them ended up bowing to each other in a strange and meaningless way. In the end, it was Hiyori who stopped their bizarre and pointless behavior.

  Hiyori, with a slight mood, said, "Hikigaya-kun, you should be more careful about your actions from now on."

  After leaving this comment, Hiyori took Sakura and headed back to the dormitory, leaving Hikigaya standing there, confused, wondering what he had done wrong.