By the time I lost the [Starving] Condition, I had perfected my Sneezer attack. Tap the stem, wait for it to spray, and then pounce. Once I had it down, it only took me a cotton pickin’ minute to get my grub.

  I took another gander at my status and was happily surprised to see a change other than my Condition and Hoard level.

  I now had a Low (2) defense! It made sense; the grass was scratching my body as I roamed the valley. My skin was covered with red, blotchy spots and everything was itchy. I was gonna have to find somewhere to rest soon, but I was still hungry. Did I need to eat more Sneezers?

  Well, that settles it. I needed to find meat. But how? I hadn’t seen any animals on my Sneezer hunt.

  Critters are everywhere, though. No matter where you go, you’re sure to see something small and furry scuttling along the ground.

  I stretched in my resting spot, my eyes scanning the grassy area around me. It was the same-

  Hold on. What was that buzzing sound? Alarmed, I glanced up to see a noose flying toward my head. I ducked and the rope went flying over my head.

  I winced as a high-pitched roar assaulted my delicate ears. When my ears stopped ringing from that horrible sound, I looked up to see a squadron of winged warriors clad in leather armor. They would have been intimidating, had they not been the size of newborn babies.

  Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

  I was too puzzled to see the second noose coming in from the left. Snarling, I jerked my head to the side, trying to get free.

  The baby warrior who’d caught me sneered and tightened its grip on the rope. It tried to pull me in closer as I resisted its surprisingly strong tug. ?ん?????, ??????? ????????!?

  “Now, you quit bein’ ugly before I pinch a plug outta you, you hear me?” I yelled, straining harder against the noose.

  ???????ん?-????????ん?, ???? ?????????!? The baby warrior cried as a golden light flashed, covering its entire body. This time, when it pulled, I was yanked off my feet. My body went flying toward the baby warrior who cried out, ???????ん ???, ????????!?

  A nearby winged baby warrior chanted ?????????????, ????????? ???? ??ん????????? ????? ?????乙?!?

  Then everything went cold and black.

  *☆*――*☆*――*☆*――*☆*――*☆*――*☆*――*☆*――*☆*

  I woke up chained to a wall, dripping wet and freezing my dragon booty off. The collar around my neck was tight and forced me to sit in an uncomfortable position against the wall. I was so tired and hungry...How long had I been out?

  Status.

  That doesn't look so good. No wonder I felt so bad. My stats looked terrible.

  An involuntary yawn forced its way out of me, making the collar around my neck dig painfully into my skin. I winced when my Health dropped another 2%.

  I needed to eat something before the debuffs hurt me even harder. Could I take the petals out of my hoard and eat them?

  Gimme two, I thought, put 'em in my mouth.

  The magic system granted me my wishes and I felt the familiar weight of the petals in my mouth. I chewed slowly and carefully, exerting as little energy as possible. Another glance at my status told me that I brought up my Stamina by 1%.

  This...was going to take a while.

  *☆*――*☆*――*☆*――*☆*――*☆*――*☆*――*☆*――*☆*

  I had managed to get my Stamina to 2% when the space next to me bent and a baby warrior popped into existence. Although, this one was more like a baby monk with its bulging bald head and velvet pink robe over its leather armor.

  It stared at me, aghast, then pointed a finger and yelled ???????-?????? ??? ????-????! ん?????? ん???? ?????? ????????

  A red and green light shot out of its finger and hit me. I flinched, expecting something bad but almost immediately, I felt a little warmer and fuller.

  While the baby monk went on muttering to itself, shaking its bald head, I took the chance to look at my Status. Everything was completely topped off and the only condition I had was [Slightly Cold].

  "What in tarnation did you just hit me with?" I blurted.

  The baby warrior snarled at my interruption and waved its fist. ????????? ?????!?

  I closed my mouth, afraid to upset him lest he did some less than good magic do-hickey on me. It stamped over to me and pulled a scroll out of its robe.

  ?????? ????? ???? ??ん?? ?????? ??????? ?? ??????? ???????!?

  It cackled loudly at those words, spraying spit everywhere. I grimaced and inched away from the mad thing. "You're fit to be tied, what with you sprayin' everywhere," I muttered. "I don't remember askin' to be bathed in your mouth fluids."

  A scowl replaced its manic grin and slapped me on the nose with its scroll. ?????????! ??ん? ???????? ?????? ?????? ?????? ??????, ????? ???????????????????

  "You're not makin' a lick a sense! Don't you know English?"

  It bared its teeth and kicked my leg. ???? ??????? ??ん? ??????????????. ?????? ????? ???? ???????? ??? ?????? ????? ???? ??ん? ??????????? ???????????!?

  I got the message even if I didn't understand the words. I kept my trap shut as it muttered under its breath.

  The scroll glowed as the baby monk chanted. I watched, entranced, as strange red symbols formed on the material until the entire thing was covered with them.

  Then the baby monk smacked the scroll against my forehead.

  I screamed in pain as four red tendrils slid out of the scroll and stabbed me again and again. I heard the baby monk cackled with malicious glee as my body thrashed on the ground.

  Unfortunately, unconsciousness didn't come fast enough.