Down in Texas, the only magic we experienced was somebody chugging ten cans of Blue Moon in a row and ending up somehow not dead the next morning.

  These past few hours I realized this truly wasn’t some terrifying dream from drinking Margaret’s spiked punch. Magic was real and I was truly a baby hill dragon.

  Yes, the fairies―my captors―had decided to dub me Mupin. And as if to mock me, the system no longer called me N/A.

  It didn’t matter, though. I was now a Fairy Mana Battery. What I wanted to be was no longer of concern.

  The little freaks didn’t even give me a chance to take in this new reality. They put me in a circle with a bunch of symbols and told me to ?????????, ???????, ????????!? while they hit me with a switch.

  And so I danced, desperately trying to avoid getting hit. A switch hurt while I was human but back then, I had thick skin. Now, all I had was durable paper.

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  Eventually, my stamina got down to 5% and they finally let me rest. My Status told me my mana was at 95%. It looked like for every 1% of mana I gained, I lost 1% of my stamina. I thought it was a fair exchange, if what I thought I could use the mana for was worth it.

  I tried to stumble way back to my ‘handler’, the baby monk who had awakened me, but the switch holder got me in the behind and yelled at me to get back in the center.

  When I obeyed, another fairy baby monk, clapped his hands and screeched. ?????? ????, ??? ??????! ????? ??????, ??? ????????! ????, ????, ????!?

  As soon as his chant was finished, a black tendril shot out of the edge of the circle and latched itself onto my forehead. A scream tore its way out of my throat as the tendril started sucking something out of my body and into the floor.

  The fairies, who were crowded around the perimeter of the circle, all jerked as one. Then the moaning started.

  *☆*――*☆*――*☆*――*☆*――*☆*――*☆*――*☆*――*☆*

  They repeated the process four more times until they decided enough was enough and sent me back to my little prison.

  So now I sat, exhausted and chained to a boulder, thoroughly disgusted with this world and the fairies.

  “System,” I croaked, “System if you can hear me, I’d like to leave.”

  No magic box appeared in front of my face, telling me my wish was granted. Fine, then. If it wouldn’t magically whisk me out of here, there must be some way it could help me out.

  For once, no freaky emote. So...I would need to learn a magic use to escape?

  I had 3% of my mana left. My stamina was slowly ticking back up as I laid still and was at 10% now. The system told me that I passively generated mana through movement. I just needed to move enough to generate enough mana for a proper experiment.

  I got to my feet and started doing squats while keeping one eye on my stamina. Every ten squats, I lost 1% of stamina and gained 1% of mana. Good. Now I just needed to see where the mana was coming from and where it was going.

  Keeping my squats going with a mental reminder to stop when my stamina got to 3%, I focused inward and found myself in a dark space. I thought this was just me seeing my inner eyelids, but then I saw a flash of green light dart before my eyes.

  Another ten squats and I saw another green light flare-up near where I figured I was and then fizzle out toward the center. I tried to chase the fading light, but it moved too fast for me to follow. Eager to see it again, I moved a little faster until the green light flashed again. This time, I managed to follow it far enough to see it was heading: a glass cube with seven shining green orbs dancing.

  Alright! It looked like this was my-

  I heard a familiar crack in the air just as I felt a sting on my forehead. Wincing, I drew myself out of the dark space and looked up to see the switch holder and the first baby monk glaring down at me.

  ?工? ???? ??????? ??? ??? ????.? the switch holder snarled. ?工 ?????? ???? ??? ???? ?? ??? ??? ???, ????.?

  ?工 ???? ?????? ???????? ???? ?ん? ?????!? the baby monk argued, folding its arms.

  The switch holder slapped him on the back its switch and reprimanded the other fairy a bit more before it stomped off.

  The baby monk scowled as it unlocked my chain from the boulder. ?工 ん??? ん??...??? ???? ????? ????????????? ??!?

  “Easy with the chain there,” I grunted. “I’m low on stamina.”

  It kicked my shoulder, sending me stumbling to the side. ?卄??ん ?????! ㄚ???'?? ?ん? ??????? 工'? ??? ?ん??? ????!!? Another kick took me to the ground.

  “You’re gettin’ too big for your britches,” I snarled, a growl rumbling in my belly.

  It sneered at my meager attempt at defiance. ?工? 工 ?ん????ん? 工 ???????? ??? ????? ?????ん ???, 工'?? ????? ???? ????ん? ?????!?

  Then its eyes widened and a grin so evil spread across its babyish features. I took a step back as it started chanting and waving its hands back and forth.

  “Woah, there, buddy. No need to go raisin’ Cain.”

  Its chants only got louder and its hands wilder.

  Now was definitely the time to start running. I pulled at the chain, gritting my teeth as the collar dug into my skin.

  “What in tarnation do you go on eatin’ every day? Let me go!:

  But I was too late. It finished its chant with a screech and slapped its hands down against my muzzle.

  ???? ????, ??? ?????, ??? ? ????, ??? ????!?

  Nothing happened for one sweet, sweet second.

  And then I oinked.

  Daphne is off limits!!!) catchphrase, so I gotta remember to use it more.

  Bob, but that's neither here nor there.