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  [colpse]Chapter 12: Doors2024 June 24Monday“Maria, is she OK?” I ask.

  Morgan, Paige’s girl, has Maria’s Sadie pinned against one of the walls of the common room. This is happening despite the tter girl being at least six inches taller than the former.

  Maria rolls her eyes and says, “Yeah, probably. Sadie, do you consent to this?”

  Sadie squeaks out a “yes”.

  “Carry on then, but if you’re pnning to take things much farther, please relocate to one of your bedrooms.”

  Morgan says, “Would you like that, Sadie?”

  “Uh huh,” the taller girl answers.

  “Good girl.”

  Morgan grabs Sadie’s hand, and the two of them leave through the doors to the main hallway.

  “I almost warned Morgan to stay away from Sadie,” I say. “I’m gd I didn’t.”

  “The two of them getting together certainly made our lives easier,” Paige says. “Speaking of which, how is the throuple doing?”

  I look at my two girlfriends who, as of the end of st month, became each others girlfriends as well. Then, I start thinking about what we got up to st night in spite of the small beds in our basement bedrooms.

  Cheeks burning, I answer, “We’re uh…good.”

  Maria says, “Common intake members forming tightly knit groups is pretty typical. They don’t usually grow as close as Morgan and Sadie so quickly, though… OK, Beth and Stephanie did, but those were extraordinary circumstances.”

  Oh, right, Stephanie.

  I walk over to where Beth is sitting and say, “Beth, I’d been meaning to ask you something. Steph was watching me from pretty much the moment I arrived on campus, right? And in hindsight a program name like Second Starts suggests y’all had something to do with me coming to Saints in the first pce. Wait, did you even run that by Christine? That name seems like an opsec disaster.”

  “Well sometimes,” Beth says, “the money gets a funny idea in her head and it’s not worth… you know, this is a conversation we should probably have sometime after you’re out of the basement. Or the programme.”

  “Um, OK,” I say. “What I meant to ask is how did I end up on your radar in the first pce? I didn’t exactly live very close to Almsworth before.”

  “Ah, well Lily’s girlfriend Nora…”

  “Nora is real? And she’s a Dorley girl?! Come to think of it, I do remember Lily saying Nora knew how to pick locks…”

  “What? No, she’s not a Dorley girl. OK, maybe she is, but probably not. I think they would have told me. It would be convenient, though. Maybe she could franchise a second location on the Bradford McKinley campus. I wonder who she could use to sponsor. Oh! Vicky would be a good choice.”

  “Vicky and Lorna are pnning to move to the States?” Paige asks. “Why didn’t they tell me?”

  “Different Vicky,” Beth says. “I’m talking about Lily’s sister, and you’re acting like there can be only one person in the world with any given name.”

  I didn’t know Lily had a sister. Then again, I didn’t know I had one either until recently. And apparently Lily’s sister is sponsor material?

  I start imaging what a second Dorley at Bradford McKinley would look like and what kinds of boys they would take in. Maybe the counsellor they introduced to all the freshmen—Saunders? Sanders?—would be involved somehow. Of course, I would have been on their radar from practically my first month. Maybe they could have prevented the incident with Lily instead of the UK Dorley grabbing me several months ter.

  Oh, right.

  “Beth, I don’t think you answered my question,” I say.

  “Ah, sorry. So Nora met Steph in a Consensus server for trans people and their allies. She brought up what happened to her girlfriend, and you can probably suss out the rest. Nora knows you’re here actually. Well, not down here but in Almsworth. Steph wanted to reassure her that you weren’t going to cause any more trouble, so she said she’d be ‘keeping an eye on you’.”

  Can’t say I bme her.

  I walk over to where my girlfriends are sitting. Aoife looks like she’s deep in thought.

  “Are you alright?” I ask her.

  She answers, “Yeah. I just overheard some of what you and Beth were talking about. I asked Tabby a simir question recently, and she was a lot less forthcoming. I understand if there are still some things she doesn’t feel comfortable sharing, but it is frustrating.”

  “But what about you Cire?” Aoife asks. “Are you at all curious how Dorley found you?”

  Cire says, “I doubt there’s much to it. I used to target trans women on public forums, and I wasn’t exactly quiet about it, either. Really, I wouldn’t be surprised if Paige’s fiancée had my IP memorized.”

  2024 June 25TuesdayMiriam Sanders, counsellor for Bradford McKinley, enters a room on the top floor of the Student Services building. She slides a bookcase aside, revealing a hidden door. After checking once again that nobody is watching, she passes through the door, closes it, and pulls a rge metal box out of her pocket. An impossibly rge antenna extends from one side of the box, and on its front face sits a singur rge red button. Miriam presses the button, and a low grinding noise followed by a soft thud can be heard from outside the room she is now in.

  She approaches a jail cell tucked away in one corner of the surprisingly rge room. It has rge gray metal bars rising all the way to the ceiling and a single door with a rge keyhole on the front. Inside the cell, two boys wait, both dressed in green smocks but otherwise naked. They both look scared.

  One of the boys says, “Please, let us out. Or if you can’t, at least give us some beer.”

  “Or a football to toss around,” says the other.

  Their pleas fall on deaf ears. Miriam doesn’t even slow her approach.

  When she reaches the door to the cell, Miriam stands still and slowly looks over both boys. Then, she begins to speak.

  “Tell me, Thomas—Edward, what do you two know about toxic masculinity?”

  * * *

  I find myself lying in bed drenched in sweat. It’s four in the morning. I need to talk to Beth about my progesterone dose.

  2024 July 15Monday“I can’t believe I get to be with those two,” I say aloud.

  Then I remember the only single member of our intake is sitting right next to me.

  “Uh, sorry Lauren” I say.

  Cire and Aoife are sitting on the couch watching a baking show while I sit across the room reading a book next to Lauren and near Tabby. OK, at this exact moment I may not be reading so much as fawning over my girlfriends while I put my foot in my mouth.

  Lauren ughs and says, “It’s alright, Rose. I’m not exactly missing anything down here. Don’t get me wrong, girls are fun. I’ve realized I’d rather find a guy for anything long term, though.”

  “Hell yeah,” Tabby excims. “We have to keep our numbers up so we’re merely very outnumbered. Oh, speaking of which…”

  A girl I haven’t met yet enters the common room. She’s solidly built and even taller than Sadie.

  Also, her hair is wet. I guess it’s raining outside.

  I pce my voice forward and high in my mouth like Beth and Cire have been teaching me and say, “Hello.”

  I still sound more like a cartoon character than I’d like, but progress is progress.

  “Hi. You’re Rose, right?”

  Before I have time to respond, Aoife has already turned away from the TV to face the new girl.

  “Leigh?” Aoife says.

  “Hi Aoife.”

  “What are you doing down here? Were you…?”

  “Yes. Tabby was also my sponsor. I was in the same intake as Serena and Bethany.”

  “You were with Beth? That must have been fun,” I say.

  Leigh answers with a deadpan, “Sure.”

  Aoife continues to look at Leigh for a few more seconds. Then, her eyes grow wide as if she just solved a riddle that had been bugging her for a while.

  Cire must notice something is up with Aoife as well, because she reaches for and grabs Aoife’s hand.

  Aoife looks down in thought for several seconds and then asks, “Leigh, how long have you known I’m down here?”

  Leigh takes a deep breath and answers, “I knew it was going to happen before we broke up, Aoife. I was the one who referred you to Tabby.”

  Aoife quietly says, “That’s what I was wondering.”

  Aoife gives Cire’s hand a squeeze and releases it. Then, she stands up from the couch and starts walking toward Leigh.

  Leigh starts pleading, “Aoife, I’m sorry. You were in such bad shape. I was so scared for you, but you wouldn’t accept any help and…”

  Aoife interrupts. “Leigh, I’m not mad. I think… I think you saved my life. Thank you.”

  As the two of them embrace, I quietly say to Tabby, “I’m certainly not compining that Aoife is here, but I can’t imagine how hard it is giving your boyfriend the help he needs knowing he’ll be a girl by the end of it.”

  “It happens more often than you’d think,” Tabby says.

  2024 August 31SaturdayI stand facing the doors to the basement stairwell. I’ve been through them a few times this summer, always going up one flight for ser hair removal. Group has been held in the common room since Morgan and Sadie were disclosed.

  It’s not the only way I’ve left the basement I’ve called home, though. Less than a month ago, Beth and Ames escorted me through an “emergency exit” door at the end of the bedroom hallway. After quite a bit of walking, I found myself in the woods near the Saints campus. A car with tinted windows drove me to a nearby hospital, and a very odd woman I’d only met once before performed my facial feminization surgery. As soon as I was recovered enough to leave, I returned to the basement through the same passageway.

  My forehead and nose are still pretty swollen.

  What makes today special is that I’m not merely going up to the first basement. Today, we’re all heading to the first—no, ground—floor, and we’re not coming back down.

  I instinctively try to turn after going up one flight of stairs, but Beth grabs my shoulder and directs me further up.

  I reach the door at the top, step through, and finally get a good look at a dining room I’ve only caught occasional glimpses of before. It’s huge, with lots of tables of various sizes. Across from where I’m standing I can see a kitchen with its own rge table and oversized oven, and across the kitchen is a gss door.

  Through that door I can see what must be the entrance to Dorley Hall, my prison and home for the st year. I see a pair of girls walk through the entrance and past the kitchen door, ughing about something. Maybe their genders weren’t coerced. Maybe they were even assigned female at birth. The outside world is full of mysteries.

  Beth said I wouldn’t be able to leave the Hall for at least a few more months. I think I’m OK with that. It’s hard enough just getting used to this huge room, and with my face still swollen as it is, there’s no way I’d pass as a girl to any strangers I run across outside.

  As the others file in around me and my tunnel vision finally lessons, I notice there are two women waiting for us in the dining room.

  One, a South Asian woman, is sitting off to the left holding a taser. That must be Indira. She seems very rexed. I don’t think she expects to be tasing anyone today.

  The other woman is older—maybe mid fifties?—and has blonde hair with dark roots. She is sitting at a table near the center of the room. She takes a slow sip from her coffee mug, pces it to the side, stands, and begins to approach us. All of her movements seem very intentional and designed to create an impression of somebody very assured of her ways.

  She begins to speak. “Good afternoon. I am the custodian of Dorley Hall; you may address me as Aunt Bea. As the one who ultimately decided to take each of you under our care, I must say it brings me great pleasure to see all of you have made it through your first year of our programme. You should feel proud. As should your sponsors.

  “The hard work is not over, of course. Now that you have all accepted the kind of rehabilitation we provide, it is time to begin instruction on how to live as women in today’s society. That’s not to say we will be turning you into meek obedient housewives. Five minutes with some of your own sponsors should make that clear”—she directs her eyes over my shoulder to where Beth is standing—“but you will learn everything that one raised as a woman from birth would be expected to know.

  “As part of your continuing education, you will be responsible for cooking our meals and ensuring the cleanliness of the ground and first floor rooms devoted to the programme. We are well aware that some of you do not have experience in these areas, so you will be assisted at the start by the current batch of second year programme members. Their duties will be handed over fully by the end of September.

  “While we expect these duties to take a significant amount of time, especially early on, there will still be time for various activities, both mandatory ones and those taken at your leisure within the confines of the Hall.

  “You will be subject to weekly inspections by myself with your sponsor present so I may assess your feminine development. At the end of your second year—your first above ground—the frequency of these inspections will reduce to monthly, and your freedoms will be significantly increased. You will be free to come and go from the Hall as you please, with some light restrictions, and you’ll be encouraged to renew your studies or seek outside employment.”

  Aunt Bea looks toward Indira for a moment.

  “And I have been encouraged to cirify that for the weekly inspections, I am primarily concerned with continued progress. Nobody is expected to achieve feminine perfection overnight.”

  Aunt Bea looks directly at me.

  “You are Rose Thompson, correct?” she says.

  “Yes ma’am,” I reply while attempting a curtsy. I don’t go nearly low as I should, but Aunt Bea appears to appreciate the gesture.

  “Our first American programme participant,” she says. “A shame about the accent. I have nothing against it personally, but it will require some extra considerations regarding the continued security of the programme. We will have to discuss options for how to deal with it before you’re permitted to leave the Hall.”

  “Alright,” I say, fully aware it probably sounds more like “ah-right” to her ears.

  “How have you enjoyed your accommodations, Rose?” she asks.

  “It’s not quite what I expected when I moved here from the States,” I say. “I knew there would be more dark skies, but it feels like I haven’t seen the sun in a year.”

  I think I can see a slight hint of smile at my joke.

  Aunt Bea says, “I can tell your sponsor has been quite the influence… Let me take a closer look at you, dear.”

  Aunt Bea steps closer and runs her eyes over me carefully. It’s making me very uncomfortable. Aunt Bea starts to reach for my chin with her right hand when I hear a loud cough from Beth.

  She stops and says, “Right. I apologize. Remnants from an earlier time.

  “Now, you’ll have to excuse me. There is always more business to attend to. Indira here will give you a tour of the remaining areas you are permitted to visit and show you to your new rooms.

  “Rose. Girls. I leave you in her capable hands.”

  Aunt Bea performs a much better curtsy than the one I managed and departs through an exit far to our left. Then, Indira introduces herself and leads us toward the kitchen.

  * * *

  I apply the st of the rose stickers Beth found for me to the handmade namepte I’m preparing for my new first floor bedroom door. My name is written in marker using the girliest writing I can muster. Is it cheesy? Yes. Do I feel like a five year old making art? Also yes, but I’m trying to enjoy myself and not let things like that bother me.

  There’s a knock on the door. I open it to see Beth standing outside next to Paige and two other women who look somewhat familiar. I think I’ve seen them once before but it’s been a while since then.

  Ah, right.

  “Beth and Paige, hi,” I say. “And you two are Christine and Stephanie, right? I haven’t seen either of you since that night at the club.”

  I gesture for each of them to take a seat on the bed or one of the chairs scattered about the room.

  “You did see me one other time,” Christine says. “I was in charge of the slides for Tabby’s presentation st December. Sorry about that, by the way.”

  “No, I needed it. I was merely going through the motions before then, but the presentation gave me the kick in the ass I needed to really work on myself.”

  “Sometimes,” Beth admits, “a Powerpoint presentation is a better teaching tool than a taser.”

  “Beth keeps bragging about how far you’ve come,” Steph says. “She even told me you’ve brought up sponsoring after you graduate. I swear you all get Dorleypilled earlier every year.”

  Dorleypilled. OK, that’s a much better term.

  “Hey, Steph,” I say. “Beth told me about what you did while you were both in the basement. I just want to say thank you for taking care of my big sister.”

  “It was my pleasure,” Steph says. “She was like a lost puppy. How could I not take care of her?”

  Beth looks like she’s leaning in to Steph for some neck scritchies, but she suddenly sits up. “I almost forgot. I brought you something, Rose, to celebrate you leaving the basement.”

  She hands me a small box covered in wrapping paper. As I start looking for a seam, she says, “I know how much you like that rocket video game, so I had this made. I hope it makes sense.”

  I manage to get through the paper and open the box. Inside is a coffee mug with a green interior and handle. The outside is white. One side of the mug is decorated with the text RAPID UNPLANNED DEMASCULINIZATION. The other side has an illustration of a multistage rocket standing upright with both of its boosters detached and lying sideways.

  “It’s awful,” I say. “Thank you so much, Beth.”

  I walk over to where she’s sitting and give my big sister a hug.

  Afterwards, I turn to Paige. “Paige, I appreciate you being here, but shouldn’t you be helping Morgan settle in?”

  “It’s fine,” she says. “She and Maria are both busy with Sadie right now, helping to calm her down. I guess Aunt Bea put on the act a bit too thick this afternoon. I didn’t say that, by the way.”

  “I’m gd your time sponsoring has gone so smoothly, Paige,” Christine says, “but I still can’t believe you agreed to do it.”

  “Well, if I hadn’t, then someone else I know would have, and she has enough on her pte.”

  “Guilty,” Christine admits.

  I take advantage of a lull in the conversation to get something off my chest. “Hey, y’all,” I say.

  OK, Aunt Bea has a point. It’s going to be weird when the American boy that disappeared is repced by a simir looking American girl a couple years ter.

  I continue, “Since you’re all here. I want to apologize for calling you slurs and generally being a creep the night we met. I hope it didn’t ruin your evening, and I’d love to go back to Legend sometime to make it up to you.”

  “Apology accepted,” Paige says. “But don’t worry about going to Legend specifically. There’s much better pces. Really, Legend would probably be out of business by now if it weren’t for us Dorley girls.”

  Us Dorley girls. I like the sound of that.