Daily Meme

  Spoiler

  [colpse]The forest went silent. A breeze kicked up the dust left in the wake of the hit.

  The system popped up.

  [CRITICAL HIT! 5,000+ DAMAGE!]

  [WARNING: VICTIM IS NOW ORBITAL DEBRIS.] (This is an exaggeration)

  I ignored it. My momentum was still maxed. But stacked stats went away.

  I kicked off the ground. The force left a crater where I stood.

  The wind roared past my ears. My speed blurred the trees into streaks of green and orange, the fire reflecting in quick fshes. The map flickered—multiple battles, multiple enemies. I didn’t slow down. I wasn’t stopping.

  [Speed Boost: +100%]

  I saw Tiger and Manday fighting two vilins. Analyze.

  [Target: Spinner

  Quirk: Gecko – Can stick to walls. Congratutions—you’re a glorified pest control nightmare with scales.

  Stain Simp (Lite Edition) – Wants to be edgy like Stain, but Ryuu curb-stomped the original before the ideology could trend. Now he’s just parroting quotes from a man who never finished his manifesto.

  Outcast Energy – Got bullied for looking like a walking iguana, so he joined the League because even vilins need a token scaley.

  Swordsman Skills? – Negative. He swings that bde like he’s fighting mosquitoes, not heroes. Might stab himself before he nds a hit.

  Nickname: Lizard with Tail Issues.

  [SYSTEM NOTE]: Get it? Tail left for milk and never came back.

  [SYSTEM NOTE #2]: Much like Spinner’s sense of purpose. Oops]

  [Target: Magne

  Quirk: Magnetism – Turns people into magnets based on gender. You’re either flying into her arms or across the room like a tossed sad. Gender reveal? More like gender yeet.

  Strength – Built like a damn freight train. If she hugs you, kiss your spine goodbye. Chiropractors would kill to study her victims.

  Brawler Mode – Zero patience. Zero hesitation. All fists, all day. Walks into battle like it owes her money and she’s here to collect—with interest and a sledgehammer.

  [SYSTEM NOTE]: Warning—standing near Magne may result in spontaneous flight and a crushed ego.]

  The system barely processed the info before I reached them. Not that I could stop.

  Spinner swung his oversized bde at Tiger, who dodged with barely any effort, twisting around the attack. Magne went for Manday, her quirk yanking a tree toward her, forcing her to dodge.

  I closed the gap in an instant.

  Spinner barely had time to react before my bat crashed into his stomach. He wheezed, feet leaving the ground as he flew backward. Magne turned, raising her arm—too slow. I ducked under her swing and smmed my bat into her knee. She staggered, but her grip caught my shirt, flinging me into a tree.

  Pain shot through my back, but I kicked off the trunk, flipping over her next swing. Manday moved in, aiming a kick at her ribs while Tiger dashed toward Spinner.

  "Handle this," I muttered, already moving again.

  My map flickered—Yaoyorozu’s group had reached Tokoyami. I adjusted my route.

  The next clearing opened fast. Tokoyami was there, Dark Shadow filing wildly. Too out of control. Something was pushing him too far. A figure stood ahead.

  Analyze.

  Target: Moonfish (Clone)

  Quirk: Bde Teeth – His teeth turn into sword-whips. Yeah. Dude skipped braces and went straight to Hellraiser.

  Freak Factor – Mumbles nonsense like he’s trying to summon Satan through spit. Guaranteed to make you check under your bed twice.

  Movement – Slithers, crawls, skitters—basically a walking sleep paralysis demon with a dental fetish. Horror movie rules apply: if you blink, he’s in your face.]

  His teeth shot forward, slicing through branches, striking at anything in reach. Tokoyami struggled, trying to pull Dark Shadow back.

  I didn't stop.

  I smmed into Moonfish like a wrecking ball, my bat driving straight into his ribs. He flipped, crashing into the dirt, but his teeth shed out immediately, sshing toward my legs.

  I jumped over them, twisting mid-air, bringing my bat down. The hit connected, snapping one of the extended teeth, but more shot out, trying to wrap around me.

  "Yaoyao!" I barked.

  She was already moving. A fsh of metal—she tossed a canister toward Tokoyami. He caught it, popping the cap. A bright fsh burst out, light flooding the area. Dark Shadow recoiled, shrinking instantly.

  Moonfish let out a garbled screech. I took the chance.

  My bat swung low, catching his leg. He staggered, and I followed up with a shot to the head. His body crumpled.

  Tokoyami gasped for air, Dark Shadow finally under control.

  "You good?" I asked.

  He nodded, still breathing heavy.

  "Then move." I was already running again.

  Another explosion. Closer.

  The system fred a new warning—Bakugo and Todoroki were engaged with another target. A stronger one.

  I adjusted course.

  The trees thinned, opening into another battlefield. Blue fmes flickered against the smoke. Bakugo stood ahead, palms sparking, his gre locked onto a figure standing amidst the fire.

  Analyze.

  [Target: Dabi

  Quirk: Blue Fmes – Burns hotter than normal fire, takes a toll on his body.

  Edgelord Supreme – Talks like he’s monologuing in a bad crime drama.

  Personal Beef Pending – Clearly here for something specific.

  [SYSTEM NOTE]: Man's got more daddy issues than hot topic gift cards.

  [SYSTEM NOTE #2]: Warning—gets hotter the more emotional damage he takes. Basically a fming therapy session.]

  Todoroki was nearby, ice already melting from the heat. Bakugo growled. "Tch. About time you got here, dumbass."

  "Yeah, yeah." I eyed Dabi. "What, they ran out of budget for a costume, or did you roll out of a dumpster?"

  Dabi smirked. "That’s cute. You’re a funny one."

  I kicked off the ground. My bat swung for his head.

  Fmes erupted between us. I twisted mid-air, dodging the heat, nding just outside the bst.

  "Careful," he drawled. "I burn easy."

  "Yeah, so do bridges, but you don’t see me giving a shit."

  I kicked forward, bat swinging. Dabi shifted, fmes fring up between us. The heat hit hard, but I kept moving, circling to his side before he could fully redirect.

  Bakugo bsted in, aiming straight for his face. Dabi sidestepped, fmes shooting up again. Todoroki’s ice cut across the ground, but it barely made it past the fire before melting.

  Dabi smirked. "Oh, you kids are fun."

  I swung again, cutting off whatever bullshit he was about to say. He dipped back, but my bat still clipped his shoulder, sending him stumbling.

  Bakugo capitalized, explosions flying. "Tch. Shut the hell up, you crispy bastard!"

  The fmes swallowed the bst, but he still took a step back.

  Dabi shifted his stance, one hand still burning blue. "Man, I would love to stay, but—"

  I cut him off, stepping in fast. He had been pying around, but I wasn’t.

  My bat swung, and for a split second, I saw it—his foot slid back, weight shifting. He wasn’t bracing to dodge. He was preparing to leave.

  "Bakugo, hit him now!"

  Bakugo didn’t hesitate. "DIE, YOU BASTARD!" The explosion cracked through the air.

  Dabi barely moved before the bst hit, smoke swallowing him whole. The impact sent fmes scattering, fire licking at the treetops.

  I scanned the area. Nothing. No movement.

  "Where did he go?" Todoroki’s voice cut in.

  "Slippery piece of shit," I muttered.

  No time to linger. The next fight was already happening.

  I turned, kicking off the ground.

  [Speed Boost: +100%]

  The next battlefield was a mess. Most of my css and Css 1-B were fighting the real Moonfish. The ground was torn up, trees reduced to splinters. Moonfish’s teeth whipped around, slicing through the air, forcing everyone to stay moving.

  I called out to the others in my mind. ‘A vilin has cloning Quirk. Took down a few copies. Watch your backs.’

  Aizawa grumbled, "Vilin on our end was a clone. We handled it."

  I snorted. ‘Took you time. What was he like?’

  "Burned, blue fmes," Aizawa reported.

  Todoroki and Bakugo cut in. "We fought the original. When Ryuu arrived, he ran."

  ‘Damn right he did,’ I muttered, nding hard next to Sero and Kirishima. “What’s the situation?"

  "Bad," Sero shot back, dodging another swipe. "Those teeth move too fast!"

  Moonfish turned, jagged teeth stretching toward us. I rushed in, swinging my bat at one of the tendrils, breaking it in half. Another shot toward my ribs—I twisted, barely dodging.

  Kirishima hardened his arms and caught one head-on. "Damn, this guy's relentless!"

  Yaoyorozu threw out a handful of fsh grenades. "Everyone, cover your eyes!"

  The light burst across the battlefield. Moonfish shrieked, his teeth retracting for a second.

  "Now!" I snapped. "Jiro, hit him!"

  Jiro smmed her jacks into the ground. A shockwave pulsed outward, throwing Moonfish off bance.

  Kaminari took the opening, sending a bolt of electricity straight at him. The jolt hit hard. Moonfish convulsed, his movements jerky.

  "Not done yet!" I dashed in, bat swinging. The hit nded square in his gut, knocking him back into a tree. The trunk snapped, the weight crashing down on him.

  "Is he down?" Kaminari asked.

  The pile of branches shifted. Moonfish started to rise.

  "Not yet," Kirishima growled.

  "Fucking stay down!" I kicked forward, bat cocked back. The next hit crushed his head against the dirt. The system pinged—KO confirmed.

  I turned to Yaoyorozu. “Yaoyao, take them back to camp. We only have Nomu and a few cowards hiding now. Don’t fight, protect yourself.”

  She nodded. “Be careful.”

  I shot off before she could say anything else. “Sensei, marking Nomu’s direction.”

  Aizawa’s voice cut in. “Got it. Wait until I get there.”

  The ground blurred under me. Fmes flickered between the trees, smoke curling through the air. The heat was getting worse. Somewhere in the distance, something colpsed—probably another section of the forest giving in to the chaos.

  I shot through the burning forest, following the signal. Yaoyorozu’s speakers crackled ahead, luring the Nomu away from the others. The scent of burning wood and scorched earth thickened.

  Then I saw it.

  "The fuck is this monster?" I muttered.

  It stood in the clearing, limbs twisted with muscle, bck flesh writhing. A mechanical chainsaw jutted from one arm, buzzing as it twitched. Its head snapped toward me, glowing red eyes locking on.

  Analyze.

  [Target: Chainsaw Nomu

  Quirk: Chainsaw Arms – Self-expnatory. Big-ass rotating teeth on its limbs.

  Quirk: Regeneration – Recovers from damage unless completely destroyed.

  Quirk: Enhanced Strength – Strong enough to rip through steel.

  -

  Horror Movie Reject – If it could talk, it would probably say "Groovy."

  Single Brain Cell – Not much going on upstairs.

  Speed Demon – Faster than normal Nomu. Can close distances quick.

  [SYSTEM NOTE]: Recommend strategy: Hit it 'til it stops twitching, then hit it again just to be sure.]

  The system spat warnings, but I was already moving.

  It lunged, chainsaw screaming. The ground cracked as it unched forward. I ducked under the first swipe, boots skidding against dirt, then shot past its side, my bat swinging for its knee.

  The hit nded. It didn’t buckle.

  The bastard turned, the chainsaw coming down. I twisted, barely avoiding getting split in half. The heat from the bde buzzed past my ear. I shot forward, jamming my bat into its gut.

  The Nomu didn’t flinch. Its free hand swung.

  I backstepped, but the cws raked across my side. The jacket held, but the impact sent me stumbling. The Nomu didn’t let up. It moved fast, closing the gap in an instant.

  [Endless Momentum: 87%]

  I ducked the next swipe, kicking off the ground. My bat cracked against its ribs. This time, it reacted, feet dragging against the dirt.

  It roared, chainsaw revving higher.

  "Shut the fuck up," I muttered, rushing in again.

  The next attack came from above. The chainsaw cut through a tree like paper, sending chunks of wood flying. I used the falling debris to gain height, leaping onto a thick branch, then unched off, aiming straight for its head.

  [Endless Momentum: 100%]

  The bat connected.

  A shockwave cracked through the clearing. The Nomu’s head snapped back, body jerking as the force bsted it off its feet. It crashed through the ground, tearing up dirt.

  --

  You awaken in a b.

  The aliens look concerned.

  “Subject consumed 59 chapters. Did not cast a single vote. Highly unethical.”

  They scan your brain.

  It’s just memes. And shame.

  They nod in disgust.

  “Send them back. We don’t study lurkers.”

  You wake up.

  The System message is burned into your ceiling:

  [VOTE. OR GET PROBED AGAIN. (THIS TIME DOWN THERE!)]

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