I carry your words with the wind

  Hear your desperate prayers

  Know your whisper secrets

  And ignore your gasping cries

  Dear Students of Dimhelm’s Arcane Magic Academy,

  Students, this letter was sent to inform you that there was indeed a demonic attack yesterday on the academy premises. The left-wing alchemy boratory was destroyed in a fire that occurred in the attack resulting in two injured students, thankfully in stable condition, nothing serious. The city guard reported zero casualties. Csses will be suspended for the time being, to ensure the safety of our students. All pending assignments and tests are postponed. Please notify the guards of any demonic suspension, do not go, and fight them by yourselves. Please be safe and alert to any further announcements.

  Sincerely,

  Gondul Griffin

  Headmaster

  Dimhelm’s Arcane Magic Academy

  ***

  “Alex, Alex, are you here, are you ok? Alex?” Cassia asked, knocking on my door again.

  I had closed and locked the door and the windows, leaving the only light that came into my dorm from the small gap in the door. My stomach was empty from a dead appetite, and my mouth was dry from rotting in bed. Terrified to go out, the only food I have eaten was the one Cassia gave me the other day. All my books were scattered around my dorm, none of them were useful now. I screamed at Zephyr to leave me be or give me a quick end with their lighting. I did not feel bad that I was hoping they might not return; they did not deserve me as their master.

  “Alex, if you can hear me or if you are even there, I just want to make sure you are okay, I am worried about you,” she said. Her concerns were muffled by the walls of my dorm. If my friend saw me, her lungs might scream to death and her heart would stop caring about me.

  The passage of time was unclear for me, I did not know whether hours or days had passed. The holy bells always rang when the Solstice raised the sun and when Crescent raised the moon each day, each time bringing me closer to my death. Cassia eventually gave up and left after some time. I felt bad for her, she did not need to care so much for me.

  Later that day or another day, I did not know anymore, time was irrelevant. There was a heavy knocking on my door and my heart froze. The rambling on the doorknob became louder. Guards? Demon hunters? A padin? Shit. My mind ran in fear of the worst. They were trying to get in. Did they find me out? No, no, no. My body was trembling, paralyzed by fear, unable to move. The door smashed open, and three guards came in. Before they got in, I was able to hide under the bed and shut my eyes. My shaky hands had a weak grip on my wand to be able to cast an invisibility spell, I read the other day in case this might happen. Sadly, my mind was clear from ever learning how to cast the spell by fear. The sound of my falling books fell hard on the wooden floor. My spell book is now on the floor, damn. Zephyr, please come back, I begged inside. They were sounding furious searching for everything I had. Their manly voices echo across my being. Then, one of the men pces his hand under the bed. Oh no. He lifted my bed in one swift motion. We stood still, time had frozen. My eyes met his. They were bck or a very deep brown. His eyes only met the dirty floor.

  “There is nothing here boss,” the guard who lifted my bed said. The other guard stepped on the creaking wood tile where I had hidden the cursed book. Do not look down, do not look down, I said in my mind as if I could control him. I prayed for whoever heard my fears, to distract the guard and not notice the small item under the wooden tile that might condemn me.

  “Let's go then we have other pces to check,” the one I assume was the captain guard said.

  “We will find that thing soon enough,” another one said. Soon the three men left my room in a bigger disaster than it was. I stayed under the bed for a while, fearing they might come back.

  If only my father were here now, finding me cowering in fear under the bed like a child. What would he say? Nothing along with a disappointed face just to walk away. I should turn myself in and drink it this time to save my family from humiliation if word got out of what happened to me. Save them? They already are embarrassed by me, my brother general of the kingdom’s army, and my sister the head priest of the mighty God of Light. Solstice blesses all of them. Me the most blessed of all? No, just a queer demon. The once-pure blood that flowed through my veins was now corrupted pitch-bck ooze.

  I have always had an interest in magic because of my mother. When my parents read me stories full of adventure and epic battles of the heroes of the past when I was a child, it filled me with wonder and joy. Mother used to say that magic lets you do anything if you set your mind to it. That I was made for remarkable things. Magic was an all-powerful gift from the Crescent the goddess of magic, other gods blessed people who prayed for them with their divine magic. Proof that the gods are real, and they are with us. No drop of a godly blessing in me, they don’t deserve my prayers. They have abandoned me too many times.

  I tried everything to become the son my family could be proud of, but everything failed, and I gave up. I let everyone down again. Not even magic flows through me anymore. They say that the gods are always with us, through our everyday battles, caring for and protecting us. Then where are they now?

  Not here in my abyss of depression. They have other people to take care of. I am just a demon, a slut, a succubus demon of lust. Saying that I am a virgin would make no difference to defend myself, they will see me and say I did this to myself. How? How did I do this to myself? It was an accident, I never wanted to be turned into this. I just wanted… Why did I do it? Knowing very well that something like this may happen. Why not fail again? Perhaps I was tired of letting people down. They expect so much of me. I never wanted that.

  I just wanted them to hug me again.

  The surge to scream from the top of my lounges at Solstice and all the other gods in heaven looking down on me will accomplish nothing. I cannot say the gods are not real when I am proof of it. Would Mom have hated me as well? The gods also forsook her, maybe I can be with her when I die. “I miss her,” I whispered to my neckce.

  ***

  I had fallen asleep or died crying that night. I did not know, but I found myself awakening to a world of serene emptiness beneath a tranquil blue heaven sky, the ground mirroring a graceful pond's reflective surface with nothing in sight. There I saw myself in the water, I was… me. I was wearing beautiful white robes with no curse bestowed upon my body, discomfort, or imperfections. The water rippled in harmony like a melody with every step of my bare feet. I ran forward leaving a song behind. I jumped, skipped, and even danced in the water making a chorus of freedom. The eternal ndscape is so calming and liberating, I never want to leave this pce. I walked peacefully in the endless sea of blue, and after a while the horizon gradually revealed a marble-white porch in the distance surrounded by a majestic carpet of flowers: beautiful pink, serene blue, and divine white. Upon closing in the distance, a woman sat elegantly on the white porch's edge deep in the pages of her book. Her beauty was breathtaking, she wore an elegant pink dress, her bck hair with gentle waves cascading above her shoulders. Her deep eyes are scarlet red.

  After my next step forward, my foot sank slowly into the water. Before I even tried to get out my whole body fell into the deep dark red waters. Blood. I drowned in the blood; the taste of iron filled my lungs and all of my insides. I tried to swim back up desperately moving my limbs frantically, but it was futile, the darkness overcame me.

  This is the end.

  Then a hand grabbed me, pulling me out of the nightmare and back to life.

  I woke up jolting back into my room again, my heart still in the tranquil waters of my vivid dream. The darkness in my room had been cast away. Zephyr stood beside me; they brought me a basket of my favorite food from Cassia. I held my mother's neckces and breathed into life again.