I watched Ambrose from the window above the sink as I washed my hands under the warmth of the tap water. He had been out there all day under the beaming sun, plucking blade after blade of grass. I didn’t have the heart to tell him it would take him weeks at this rate. The amount of life energy needed to activate a Fullvalda's gift varies from person to person, but it is consistently a vastly large amount. I just didn’t want to push him into something he wasn’t ready for.

  I dried my hands with a beige kitchen towel and reluctantly tore my gaze away from Ambrose. Grabbing my woven basket, I strolled through the back door, stepping into the sanctuary of my garden. Kneeling in the rich, dark soil, I let my body connect to the earth around me. I dug my hands into the ripe ground, feeling the coolness of the earth and merging my magic with it, sensing the roots of my plants intertwining with my energy. The vibrant greens of my garden surrounded me, a tapestry of life and growth. I watched as the healthiest of my carrots emerged from the earth, their bright orange tops poking up form the soil. With careful precision, I reached over, plucked them from the ground, and placed them in the basket, continuing to harvest until it brimmed with all the supplies I needed for dinner for two.

  I opened the back screen door and placed the basket of vegetables on the kitchen counter. I glanced out the window to check on Ambrose, and my heart dropped when I realized he wasn’t anywhere to be seen. Panic surged through me as I ran out of the house, my feet pounding against the soft earth as I tore through the meadow, calling out his name.

  “Ambrose!” I shouted, my voice rising above the gentle rustle of leaves in the wind.

  I slowed my breathing and closed my eyes, focusing on what I could feel. I searched for his life energy around me, trying to ignore the small creatures flitting about, focusing instead on the larger energies. I was quickly overwhelmed, lost in the vibrant wildlife surrounding me. I couldn’t feel him anywhere. My mind was exhausting itself, and I lost all concentration and focus. Finally, I crashed onto my knees, my head starting to spin, but I still held on, reaching further and further, trying to find a trace of Ambrose's energy.

  Just as I was about to let go, I felt something getting closer and closer, high above my head. I opened my eyes, and there he was—Ambrose, with the most beautiful golden wings, dancing through the air like a sunbeam breaking through the clouds.

  “Ambrose!” I yelled, trying to get his attention.

  He laughed, joy radiating from him as he began doing barrel rolls through the sky, the sunlight catching the edges of his wings and making them shimmer. “Juniper, this is amazing!” he yelled down to me, his voice filled with exhilaration.

  “Ambrose, get down from there! It’s not safe!” I pleaded, my heart racing, a knot of fear tightening in my stomach.

  I didn’t know how he managed to connect to his magic so quickly, but flying was dangerous for new Fae. Fae wings can have a mind of their own; if you break concentration, they can take control when your mind is weak. It takes many years of practice for Fae to be able to fly long distances comfortably without trouble.

  “Ambrose, please listen to me. I need you to come back down!” I shouted up at him, my voice tinged with urgency. He continued to laugh, his joy infectious, but I could sense the danger.

  “Fine, Juniper, I’m coming down!” he sighed, but I could tell he was losing control.

  He attempted to make his way to the ground, but I could see the panic rising in him as he started zigzagging and dashing through the sky at dangerous speeds.

  “Juniper!” he yelled, his voice tinged with fear. “I—I can’t get down!”

  Ambrose was losing his composure. His emotions were heightened, which gave his wings more power over him. A wave of dread washed over me as I realized the urgency of the situation. There was only one thing I could do to help him now.

  I took a deep breath, closing my eyes as I called on my magic, warmth erupting in my back as I jumped into the air. Instead of my feet landing back on the ground, they stayed floating, buoyed by the magic that surged through me like a warm embrace. I opened my eyes and wasted no time racing after Ambrose.

  He was speeding through the air, almost faster than I could keep up with. Every time I gained on him, his wings suddenly took him in another direction out of nowhere.

  “Ambrose, I’m coming! Don’t worry, I’ll get you. Just keep trying to regain control!” I yelled, my heart pounding.

  “Juniper, I’m scared!” he screamed, panic creeping into his tone.

  I could hear the terror in his voice, which made me push myself faster. He was within arm's length now, and I reached out for him. My fingers grasped the back of his shirt, but I couldn’t get a firm hold of him. Suddenly, Ambrose grabbed my hand, and I pulled him toward me, wrapping him in my arms.

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  He nearly fell limp in my embrace from exhaustion, and his wings disappeared. “It’s okay, Ambrose, I’ve got you,” I said, brushing my fingers through his hair as he rested against me.

  I brought us back to the ground, landing carefully and forcing my wings back into hiding. I carried Ambrose’s sleeping form into the guest room, where I gently laid him on the bed.

  Flying with our wings is dangerous and exhausting. It takes time for a Fae to bond with their wings and create a relationship with them. When the wings take over, they can’t feel when the Fae is running out of magic and will fly until they crash to the ground. It’s why we didn’t fly very much and relied on other creatures to carry us when we needed to get somewhere.

  I placed the blankets over Ambrose as he slept and turned off the lights as I left the room. He would wake soon; he just needed time to rest and for his magic to recuperate from nearly being drained again.

  I returned to the kitchen, where my abandoned vegetables remained, and started peeling and chopping the ingredients for the potato soup I was making. Soon enough, the whole house smelled like my mother’s cooking again, the comforting aroma wrapping around me like a warm embrace. I ladled the soup into two bowls and carried them into the guest room, hoping Ambrose was finally awake.

  He lay flat on his back under the covers, staring dead straight at the ceiling, his expression blank. I sat beside him on the bed and placed the soup bowls on the nightstand. He didn’t even move or acknowledge my presence.

  “Ambrose,” I whispered. “I brought some soup for you. I’ll leave it here if you don’t want me to stay.” As I shuffled to get up and leave, his hand shot over and grabbed my arm.

  “Stay, please, Juniper,” he said, his voice raspy and filled with vulnerability.

  I gently lowered myself back to the bed, holding his hand in mine. I rubbed small circles on the back of his hand with my thumb, trying to soothe him.

  “I’m no Ruhig Fae, but I can sense something is bothering you. You can talk to me, Ambrose,” I assured him.

  He looked down at our hands. “Is that what it feels like to lose control? It’s terrifying. I didn’t feel like myself.”

  His eyes seemed darker than they were before, like the little light inside them had dimmed. I knew that feeling all too well. The moment I came into my power, the world changed. Nothing was ever the same again.

  “Yes, losing control is terrifying, which is why we train our minds with our magic. To only strengthen one leaves the other vulnerable,” I said, repeating a lesson Jabez taught me long ago.

  He slowly sat up, staring at his hands, inspecting them as if they weren’t his own. “I feel this weird energy now and this strange tingling in my hands.”

  “That’s the energy around you. You’re a siphon for it now. It will always be a part of who you are,” I said softly.

  I pulled him into a hug, holding him against my chest. I ran my hand up and down his back, trying to comfort him. My fingers slowly trailed up into his hair, untangling the strands of brown curls, wishing I could detangle the turmoil inside him just the same.

  “Have you ever lost control like that?” he asked, still nestled in my embrace.

  I sighed deeply as I remembered the first time I lost control. The consequences that followed still haunted me.

  “Yes. All Fae do while they’re learning.”

  “What happened?” he asked, pulling away to look at me.

  I stood up from the bed and paced slowly, letting the memory consume me.

  -------

  I sat on the moss-covered floor of my bedroom, one leg crossed over the other as I concentrated on Jabez’s words. “Listen to everything around you. Feel the energy inside it,” he instructed. My mind was overwhelmed by every living creature surrounding me, but Jabez’s voice grounded me. He held a purple mourning bud in his hand, its iridescent petals shimmering with specks of silver, like stars in the night sky. “Focus on this flower. Ignore everything else; just find the flower’s energy.”

  I narrowed my magic on the flower’s energy until it was the only thing I felt. My hands clenched as I strained against the weight of the world.

  “Now grab onto it. Hold it with your magic,” he said.

  I tried to picture my magic as hands grasping the flower. I reached for it, but too many other signals muddled the air around me.

  “Well, well, well, isn’t this just adorable?” Queen Terra’s voice cut through the room like a blade.

  She strode over, snatched the flower from Jabez, and tossed it to the ground. With a bare foot, she crushed it, and I felt the energy vanish in an instant.

  “Would you look at that? I’m the bloody Fullvalda now. I took a flower’s life energy!” she mocked.

  “I’ve given you two years. And this pathetic little girl can’t even hurt a flower. I need strength and power.”

  “Your Grace, please,” Jabez protested. “She’s only fourteen.”

  “Stand, girl!” the Queen snapped.

  I stood, my gown brushing the mossy floor. She stepped behind me, her fingers digging into my shoulders.

  “If you can take a portion of Jabez’s life energy and put it back, I’ll let him continue teaching you. If not, Lady Nerezza would be happy to resume instructing all of your lessons.”

  I shook, fear rising in my throat. But Jabez looked at me with calm, unwavering eyes. He smiled. I focused on that smile.

  I raised my hand toward him. My eyes glowed gold. I pulled.

  A golden orb formed between us, growing brighter. The Queen nodded in satisfaction. But I couldn’t stop. I kept pulling.

  Jabez fell to his knees.

  “Stop!” I screamed, but the magic wouldn’t obey. His color drained. His eyes dulled. He collapsed.

  I fell to my knees, sobbing, clutching the golden energy still hovering in the air. I tried to push it back into him, but it was no use. I had taken too much. He was gone.

  The Queen stepped closer, her voice void of sympathy. “At least now I know you possess the power I need.”

  She left me there—alone with the body of the only person who had ever shown me kindness here.

  -------

  I was pulled from the memory by Ambrose, who wrapped his arms around me without a word. I hugged him back, pressing my chin into his curls.

  “I’m sorry you had to go through that all alone, Juniper,” he whispered.

  I smiled faintly. “It’s been a thousand years, Ambrose. We learn to move on eventually.” But not really. Not ever.

  “Losing control has consequences,” I said. “But I’ll make sure you never suffer the ones I did.”

  I held him closer. I would protect him from everything that came with being the Fullvalda. Even if it broke me.