Joe spent the better part of 20 minutes trying to explain everything that he went through to Samantha. To her credit, even internally, she didn’t give into the idea that he had gone crazy. After all, they were always honest with each other. Joe could see that Samantha was really struggling to accept what he was saying. He stopped and thought for a while. While he was thinking, he heard a sound.

  ‘Ding 15 GD points given for courageous honesty’.

  He looked at the announcement with a quizzical eye. So you can get points for something like this?

  “Hey, Bob. Can I get you to reveal yourself to Samantha? It’s really important to me. She’s the only one I’ve got in my corner, and I don’t want her thinking I’m crazy.” (Joe)

  “… I don’t know about this…” Bob said as he thought things over. “Look, we got off on the wrong foot. So, why don’t I do this for you. Trade in the GD points you just got, and I will let her see me for the next 15 minutes. But that’s all! And, she has to make a solemn promise not to reveal this to anyone!! I can detect lies, so I’ll know if her promise is real or not.”

  Joe looked at Samantha.

  “Bob says he will let you see him for 15 minutes, but first you’ve got to make a solemn promise to never reveal this to anyone.” (Joe)

  “Really!? For sure! No problem. … I know, I’ll make a pinky promises!” (Samantha)

  “A pinky promises?! How in the world is that a solemn promise??” (Bob)

  “Oh, it’s serious for Samantha. I’ve never seen her break a pinky promise!! (Joe to Bob)

  “…” (Bob looking like he just swallowed an egg whole)

  Samantha hooked her pinky finger around Joe’s pinky finger, and said “I promise I will not tell anyone about Bob or your weird-o do-gooder system”.

  “...Well, she wasn’t lying…” (Bob) “Fine.”

  With a sound like a sparkler burning, Bobs angelic face and body began to materialize on Joe’s shoulder. Samantha stood there wide eyed.

  “You wasn’t lying Joe, there really is a freaky little angel sittin’ on your shoulder. Golly, I hope he don’t poop on you like what happened to my Uncle Wilbur. He had a parrot that used to ride on his shoulder and pooped on every shirt and jacket that he owned. It was disgusting I tell you.”

  Bob’s face grew red as a beet. “Madam! I do protest! I do not poop on shoulders!”

  Samantha started to laugh. “Hey, you know what the funniest part about all this is Joe? You gonna have to start doin’ good deeds!” With that, Samantha bent over double and had a good belly laugh.

  Joe looked sour as she said that and mumbled something that sounded like ‘We’ll see about that!’ You see, Joe wasn’t necessarily the best role model. He wasn’t a bad guy, he just didn’t try real hard at almost anything. He preferred a comfortable life, and only did what he had to do so that he could relax. He wasn’t out to hurt anyone, but he probably believed a little bit too much in the philosophy ‘if you didn’t get caught, it didn’t happen’. In fact, one would say he believed that truth with a religious fervor.

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  Doing good deeds sounded like a lot of trouble and head ache. He had a thought… Maybe….

  “Hey, Bob. Can I ever trade in good deed points for money?” (Joe)

  “What! No. That’s not what I’m here for. Good deeds are there own reward.” (Bob self-righteously muttered)

  Joe fell thoughtful for a little bit. He looked up and saw Samantha’s sparkling eyes full of laughter. He wanted to be aggravated at her, but all he could think of was all the funny, crazy adventures that the two of them had been on together.

  “Aww, get out of her Samantha. Go take that box back to my house, and I’ll see you later.” (Joe)

  “Alright, alright, don’t get your panties in a wad.” Samantha said with a cackling laugh. “I’ll see ya tomorrow and you can tell me of all your good deeds!! Enjoy your PMS!"

  Joe began to reach for his bed pan to throw it at her. Samantha jumped up wide eyed and laughing, ran out of the room. When Joe turned to look at Bob, Bob was sitting there with his arms crossed, frowning.

  “You don’t seem like any hero that I have helped so far…” (Bob)

  “Oh give me a break, I just fell 75 stories. What are you expecting”. (Joe)

  With a sigh, Bob’s shoulders slumped. “Fine, get a good rest today, and we will begin tomorrow”.

  ~~Fast forward~~

  Several hours passed. The nurse came back, papers were signed, Joe got dressed, and He headed downstairs to the reception. There He discovered that he now owed the hospital several thousand dollars for the ambulance, hospital stay, and consultations. It appears his company began the firing process the moment his body passed by the HR department on the way down. With a heavy heart and a light wallet Joe headed home.

  Home was an interesting word for the place that Joe lived. His mother loved him, but it was more of a dispassionate resignation than a passionate mothers love. She supported him, but he could tell that she had once wished for so much more from his life. They had an okayish relationship. At least they could communicate some things well. His father… hmmm, how can I begin this?

  His father existed on an arm chair in the living room. It was a magnificent arm chair that he had taken out a 5 year bank loan to purchase. There probably wasn’t a better arm chair in a 400 mile radius. I won’t bother to describe it. Just imagine the most amazing chair you can with all the leather, accessories, bells, and whistles that you could imagine. Do you see it in your mind? Your chair is trash besides Joe’s father’s arm chair.

  The chair is where he existed. Since He worked online and made good money, and the chair served both as a dinner table and a bed for him, the only time he left it was to use the bathroom for one reason or another. The chair was placed in the middle of the living room right in front of the TV, and surrounded on three sides by multilevel shelves that held all sorts of books, magazines, newspapers, pens, papers, and the like.

  But wait, there’s more! Joe’s father, who I will now tell you is named Steve, was a fanatic for conspiracy theories. In fact, it is the only type of conversation that Steve had with anyone for the last 27.5 years. What happened 27.5 years ago? Well, if you can get Steve to tell you that, then your a better man than I am. He won’t talk about it for some reason. He will talk about aliens, politics, economics, and chem trails if you like, but you should probably block out about 4 hours of your time if you want to get him started.

  Everybody who knew Steve called him ‘Potato’. Steve didn’t mind the name, since he considered himself the most well ‘grounded’ individual in his circle of relationships. He also though himself a ‘deep’ person, who was in touch with what was ‘buried’. Potato it is… And, if he was upset with you, you should call him Mr. Potato.

  On the other hand. Joe’s mother simply tried to keep both hands on reality as it was commonly known and accepted in the broader world. She liked reality TV, movies and shows based on true stories, crossword and logic puzzles, and gossip in it’s many tasty varieties. She often had her ‘girls club’ over for the 4 c’s; coffee, cigarettes, cards, and ‘confessions’ as she liked to call it.

  So, Joe came home. It is worth noting here that neither parent came to visit him in the hospital after ascertaining through phone calls that he was going to be okay. That's just how they did things.

  He opened the front door of his house and entered the hallway. About 2 meters in front of him two doors opened up. To His left was the living room, and to his right the kitchen. Left = dad, and right = mom. Left = Potato, Right = ‘girls club’ (yes they were currently present after having heard of Joe’s near death experience) Straight ahead down the hall were the bedrooms and bathrooms. It was a nice little 3 bedroom 2 bath ranch style house that he had lived in for his entire life.

  As he walked in the door, he heard his name shouted in stereo from both the left and the right. Both of his parents wanted to talk to him. Should he face his father’s ridiculously long discussion about aliens because of surviving such a long fall? Or, should he first face his mothers disappointed looks and words when she finds out that he had lost another job.

  Choices…

  “I gotta go to the bathroom” Joe lied, as he ran down the hall entered his room, locked the door, flopped on his bed, and drifted off to sleep. After all, it had been a very weird and long day.

  Good night Joe.