“Come in, Come in!” Beckoned the goblin looking little old man who was seated on a small bench on the right side of the entrance. “We have just about everything a beginner could need. What can I help you with today?”

  Joe glanced around in drooling awe at the absolutely huge interior of this tent. There was an unknowable number of items lining ever open spot on the floor and walls; even hanging from the ceiling in places. A meandering path could be seen passing off into the distance. He quickly stepped back out and confirmed that the building was only about 10 meters by 10 meters on the outside. Looking back in, he couldn’t see the end in the foggy distance.

  “Oh, don’t worry about this big old place, just tell me what you’re interested in, and I’ll call it up faster than thought.” Said the old man looking goblin.

  Joe finally noticed the little ‘thing’ and said “Um.. who are you?”

  “I’m Sal. Sal S. Man. The owner and operator of this fine establishment named ‘Store of Beginners’.” (Sal)

  “So, you’re the Salesman?” (Joe)

  “Don’t slur it together like that! It’s Sal. S. Man.” insisted Sal.

  “I see.” Joe said with a set of knowledgeable nods that made it look like he knew what he was talking about as he wisely scratched his hairless chin.

  “Okay, Salesss-man. I get it, I get it. What have you got on sal-e today… snicker*…” (Joe)

  “…” (Sal)

  “Forget it, I’m just joking around, Sal. Seriously, though, what is this place, and what can I possibly get here for 7500 gd points?” Joe said as he started looking around through the shelves. It would be impossible to describe the intense variety of objects, substances, clutter and baubles that filled this immensely large shop. It was like every supermarket, online shop, and side street pawnshop had been mixed together and then lost inside the depths of your dryer near your lost socks and pocket change.

  As Joe wandered around for a bit, he stumbled upon a strange table in the nearest corner to the door. It seemed to glow with an other-worldly power. As he approached it, he saw a label on it, “The Wabando Amazing Combo-matic Objectifier”; WACO for short.

  “Ooooo, what’s this do, Sal??” Said Joe with some uncharacteristic energy. “It looks fancy”.

  “Oh, that? I wouldn’t waste your...” Sal paused for a second as an opportunistic look settled into his eyes. “I wouldn’t waste your opportunity!! This is the last of its kind, and who knows when you will ever see something like it again.”

  “… ooo… What IS this, Sal?”

  “It’s the Combo-matic!”

  “Sal… What, pray tell, is a Combo-matic…?” Joe said with increasing energy, bouncing up and down like a child.

  “It combine’s things into other things that you don’t have yet.” Said Sal with a glint in his eyes.

  “Anything?!?” (Joe)

  “...Well, there-in lies the issue. We no longer have the recipe book that goes with this table. It does create just about anything, but you really have to have the right ingredients in the right proportions for it to work right…” (Sal)

  “o.” (Joe)

  “It will just take trial and error but imagine what you could make if you get the right recipes. Who knows, maybe we will one day find the recipe book”. (Sal)

  Sal was lying badly here. The Wabando culture that had birthed the Combo-matic had perished within 5 years of the table’s invention. Something about how the ability for anyone to literally create anything had not led to good things. Wabando disappeared into a Black-hole singularity caused by someone trying to create a metal armor that was so dense nothing could ever penetrate it. They succeeded. Unfortunately. The armor had more mass than 10 of our suns. Thus, poof, black-hole. This particular Combo-matic was kept on a planet the king of Wabando liked to take vacations on. It was sold during the intergalactic estate sale, minus the instructions.

  “How much is it? I only have 7500 GD points…” (Joe)

  “What a coincidence, it only cost 7600 GD points, but I’ll give you a 100-point discount because you’re so friendly” (Sal said; a sardonic smile appearing as he said the last words)

  “Done! So, how do I take it with me?” (Joe)

  Sal reached around the back right of the table and pushed a small button that was right above the back right leg. The Combo-matic folded into itself so nicely that it ended up as small as a Smart phone.

  A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

  “Hand over the credits and it’s yours.” (Sal)

  “Okay, but how do I use it? (Joe)

  “Easy, you put the items you want to combine on top of the table and then hit the button that is above the left front leg of the table. It will combine the things you put there, and your desired item will appear on the table… I need to warn you that if you do things wrong, strange things might happen… But don’t let that worry you, it’s pretty intuitive.” (Sal)

  “Okay! Sounds great! Strange works for me! Now, how do I pay?” (Joe)

  “Just give me a handshake while thinking of giving me the 7500 GD points.” (Sal)

  With a shrug, Joe grasped Sal’s hand and willed his money over. He felt something change, and with a look at his status screen, he could see that all the GD points were gone. After that, Sal turned around, sat back down, opened a book, and completely ignored Joe’s existence.

  After a few moments of awkward silence, Joe gave his still hairless chin another scratch, turned and left. When He got back onto the street, he saw an option on his status screen to leave ‘The Zone’. He Quickly stuffed the Combo-Matic into an inventory slot and then clicked the exit button.

  In a flash, he found himself in the Clarichen. A huge number 30 floated in the air in front of him.

  “30 Seconds until time-line restart” APP

  Joe looked around and everyone was frozen in time not moving. Glancing down at his friends’ shoelaces, several ideas ran through his head about things he could accomplish in these 30 seconds… ‘maybe not’. I guess those 3 extra points of wisdom weren’t for nothing. He got back into his original position and waited. The timer slowly ticked down to zero, and like a cassette tape, everything started to wind up and go.

  “What do you mean it’s all Williams fault!” Clare shouted “… What… Joe, what in the world just happened to you! Potato, get the epi-pen, Joe just ‘Bloated’ up all of the sudden” Clare dashed into the living room leaving Joe speechless. He took a quick glance at a mirror on the wall over the table that Clare had hung supposedly to make the room look bigger, however, everyone knew it was so she could cheat at cards. What Joe saw in the mirror shocked him a bit. He had grown an inch in height, but his entire body had filled out with a bit more muscle. He had completely forgotten about the stat gains from the T-shirt!

  “I got this, Clare!” Joe said running down the hall to the bathroom as quickly as he could. Once inside he doffed his “Bob is Best” shirt and immediately shrank back down to normal. He rolled up the shirt and tossed it into his room, slamming the door and scurrying back to the kitchen.

  Clare stomped back into the kitchen and eyed him up and down. “You better not be doing any drugs!”.

  “No, no drugs of any kind. I hate them since what happened to uncle Stew.” Joe said, frowning deeply at the memory. Stew was the cool uncle. Was. …

  Clare’s brow knotted up and she gave a curt nod. “Yeah, I know that’s how you feel… But still what happened, are you okay?” Clare said in a moment of every so slight vulnerable-almost-kindness.

  “Yeah, just something I ate down at Sloppy Joe’s” Joe said as he cleared his throat into his hand. I feel fine now, I just needed a quick trip to the bathroom.

  “Whatever, just clean up your mess in the bathroom and stop screwing around in the back yard with your friends. Are you going to find a job today or not?!” Clare said, as she took a long drag on her cigarette and glared at the trio.

  “Yes I will”. Said joe as he turned to go down the hall.

  He turned the corner and almost ran over Potato who was looking up at him suspiciously through his right eye. It was an unnerving moment for Joe. There had never been a moment when Potato looked at him like that before. Joe slid down the wall past Potato’s eye and went to His room where he grabbed a backpack and threw his “bob” shirt into it along with a change of clothes and his toiletries. He also remembered the gun he had found. After a brief mental debate, he tossed the gun into the backpack as well.

  Jogging down the hall.

  “I’m going to spend the night at Jake’s place again after I look for a job. See you in the morning” Joe said as he quickly escaped through the front door where his friends had gathered outside. Together they fled the property like Steve McQueen in “The Great Escape”. Only there were less tunnels, digging, homemade vodka, nazi-guards… Okay, it was nothing like “The Great Escape”. …In uncomfortable silence, Joe and the gang quick marched through town.

  “I know where I want to work.” Joe said as they plodded through town “I’ll tell you, but first I have to show you something, let’s stop in at Sloppy Joes for a second.

  With a shrug of their shoulders, Jake and Will followed Joe into the restaurant, and Joe went straight to the bathroom. Once inside, he took out His B.O.B. shirt and showed it to the boys.

  “This bumps all my stats up by 5” Joe said as he put it on, instantly buffing up in every way!

  “Holy Salad-dressing!” blurted Will as they stared Joe’s body. “You have muscles in places that I don’t even have places! That’s amazing!”

  “That’s not all, you can’t destroy it, and I never have to wash it” Joe said as he grabbed the sleeve with one hand and ripped it a little bit. Within seconds, it was back to complete wholeness. Then he took it off, cleaned the floor under the table for a moment, and held it back up. They watched in fascination as the oil stains and dirt faded away over the course of 20 seconds. It looked like it had just come off the clothing rack.

  “Still…It’s so ugly.” Noted Jake

  “Yeah…, it is” sighed Joe. “Which is why I’m going to wear it as an undershirt”. Joe then put his other shirt on top of the Bob shirt, obscuring the horrid image from the public eye. “Now, let’s go get me a job. I’ve decided to become a newspaper boy.” Joe said with a proud little grin.

  “Yeah great… WHAT! Why?? That’s really your best idea, I mean, even I can think of a few better ideas.” Said Jake.

  “Absolutely! Think about it. With my talent for spotting money, this new physique, and my hero system I’ll be certain to find all kinds of treasure on the ground all over town. The job will take me to all corners.” Not to mention I only need to work about 2 hours a day.” Jake said with his hands on his hips.

  Jake and Will were duly impressed with both the scope of Joe’s vision and the concise way that he arrives at his goals. Without further complications the trio went into town and found the local newspaper company. Joe applied for the position and was hired. Having secured a starting day a week from now, Joe went home with Jake and Will to the east side of town where Jake’s Trailer was located in Sweet Memories Trailer Park.

  End Chapter 9