Night Soil’s Daily Dirt

  “All the dirt that's fit to dish”

  Published New Hesperides,

  S.E. 12, Y.F. 10210

  Days Since Last:

  Catastrophic Magical Accident: 396

  Major Demon Summoning: 69

  The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.

  Goblin Orgy: 4

  Lich Rising: 1,006

  Weather:

  Bright Sun, blue flecks of mage stars visible at times.

  Ruling Sigil: Star of Eirun

  Periodic bird migrations continue. Expect quiet punctuated by primordial screams.

  Soiled Linens:

  – Mayor pushes back on lich claims. “There's no phylactery strong enough to contain the Mayor’s sexual vigor,” spokesman Herbert Rimes explained.

  – Sources say the Parks and Rec Dep’t planted sentient Ularyn seedlings. “Baseless allegations like these are why I keep the Daily Dirt in our office restroom,” City Attorney and clandestine toilet reader, Rita Rimes, declared.

  Classifieds:

  Help Wanted - Bank of Hesperus looks for high-level money courier. Inquire at High Plaza Branch.

  For Sale - Plate Armor, needs polishing. Shade Market Plaza, Apothecary Lane

  For Sale - Night Soil of the Ur-Wolf 1000% pure. Inquire at the Litmus St vats.

  Lucky Numbers:

  383 885 958 020 574 031 582