Word Count: 3193

  Aprilius 2

  The sky seems bluer.

  The flowers are blossoming. The air carries a soft sweetness, tinged with the pollen the bees gather for their honey. It's Vernal, and the birds' songs weave through the morning, tempting me to hum along as I walk to css.

  I've never known freedom like this before.

  Stepping into my History css, I move to the back of the room and sit down with a resounding, dreamy, sigh. If my demeanor got any peculiar stares, I surely wouldn't notice it in my fantasy state.

  Lost in a daydream, I recall my week with Sebastian in Verdelune. The breeze brushing against my legs, hair that reached past my chin and pooled on my shoulders. Over there, I felt like I could run away. Run into a horizon that had a future for me.

  Css ends soon enough but as I walk out, I'm suddenly bumped into by a face I know too well.

  "Damien!"

  My vision focuses as I see Lucas standing before me. He's silent for a moment, an awkward smile pstered on his face as his eyes dart around looking for something to say. I haven't spoken to him really in about seven weeks.

  My hands rest in my armpits as I try to find words as well.

  The past few months were some of the hardest I've gone through here at St. Reginald's Academy and I had to find a reason to keep going.

  It turned out... that he wasn't enough of one.

  His smile softens as he chuckles, "I was going to say something stupid like 'Nice weather we're having, huh?' but I bet you don't want to answer that and I'm pretty sure I don't want to hear the answer either."

  The corner of my mouth curls in a small smirk which he notices and punches me in the shoulder with a grin, "Hey! I got you, didn't I?"

  But silence settles between us once again, broken only by his soft sigh.

  "Hey, Damien. Do you think we could talk? I know you probably have pces to go, but... um..."

  He scratches the back of his head as his voice trails off in embarrassment.

  "Yeah, let's talk," I say quickly, seeing the conflict in his eyes.

  "Okay..." he lets out a sigh of relief. "Okay, meet me by the bleachers in a few minutes. I'll go tell the coach that I'm calling out for today."

  Lucas disappears down the hallway in a blur, and I release a slow, unsteady sigh as the weight of my nerves press down on me.

  'It's okay. Let's hear what he has to say,' I tell myself and with that, I start making my way to the field where Lucas would be waiting for me.

  ~

  The breeze at the top of bleachers teasingly blows my hair behind my ears as the sun of the afternoon hangs steady in the sky. Lucas sits beside me as we watch the remaining pyers of the baseball team take their ps around the track.

  "Coach probably only let me call it quits for today because he trusts that I'll make up the exercise tomorrow," he mutters with a soft chuckle. "But honestly, it'll be exercise enough getting out from under the dogpile the guys are gonna put me under after they finish today."

  I nod, a small smile lingering as I watch the pyers move below us, their ughter echoing faintly in the air.

  "Hey, Damien," Lucas suddenly speaks, his tone shifting.

  I look up to him to find his usual pyful eyes shadowed with tears hanging at their corners.

  He runs a hand through his hair, sadness and guilt carving lines on his face, "Did I... Did I hurt you in any way? If I did, I want you to know that I never meant to. I care about you, I really do."

  My eyes widen, and before I can stop myself, I pce my hands over his, "No!"

  The words burst out faster than I intended, and I catch myself, pulling my hands back awkwardly. "Well, I mean..."

  He looks away to hide the redness in his eyes. Wiping his face with his sleeve, he pulls one of his knees closer to his chest as if embarrassed by his own emotions.

  Honoring his silently-spoken wish, I quietly turn from him and instead look towards the horizon. I breathe in deeply, letting the steady glow of the sun settle my racing thoughts. Its quiet strength gives me the courage to listen to the voice inside that tells me that now is the time to speak honestly.

  "I didn't tell you that I was upset, so I don't expect to have known that... to be truly honest... I didn't want us to be together. At least not in the way we were," I say, heart pounding as the words leave my lips.

  Even so, all the progress I've made with Sebastian makes my true thoughts come out so much easier.

  "It's true. I have been avoiding you. I knew how much you cared about me, so I didn't want to hurt you by telling you that I didn't feel the same way as you did. I hoped that you would just move on."

  I ugh silently to myself as I trace the bleacher grooves underneath my fingertips, "But I guess that was silly. You're too good of a person to just forget about someone."

  It's quiet for a moment between us and I whole-heartedly expect that after my confession, anxiety would start bubbling out of me like a shaken can of soda.

  But yet... I feel surprisingly calm. I spoke something that was on my mind to someone even though it was hard. All by myself.

  My gaze drifts towards the sky.

  Right now, I am forging a path made by my own will. And it feels...

  Lucas' ugh comes softly but tinged with embarrassment, "I really thought I knew what I was doing."

  He rests his head on his shoulders as he leans further back on his arms, "I've never been in love before so I guess I thought that everything I was feeling, you were feeling too. But now that I think about it, I never stopped to ask if you wanted the same things. I just... I guess I wanted it to be true so badly that I didn't even think to ask."

  I watch as glittering tears start to well up in his brown eyes again.

  "I'm so sorry. I get if you don't want to talk to me anymore, but I want you to know that you're still my friend and I'll always be here if you need me," Lucas smiles as he turns to me fully, not hiding away as red tints the bottom of his eyelids.

  My breath hitches and I struggle to hold back tears that threaten to spill.

  He suddenly shoots up from the bench, waving his arms like he can shake off the excess emotion.

  "Whoo! Arghhh tears, go away," Lucas ughs it off.

  He turns towards me once he's done moving, "You know... It's kind of funny how we were each other's firsts and first-sts, if that makes sense."

  I stand up too as I smile at him, "It makes sense. And we're still pretty extraordinary either way."

  Lucas pushes my shoulder gently with his body, "Yeah, I think so too."

  The first bell rings faintly in the distance signaling the move to next period.

  "Okay, I'll let you go now. Tell me if you ever need anything, Damien." He says tilting his head nervously as he watches Dorian and Cyrus shoot him angry gres from the field below.

  "I will, Lucas," I beam.

  He watches me curiously, "That's the first time you've ever said my name so smoothly."

  I grin and give him a teasing shrug before trotting down the bleachers.

  ~

  Sitting in the cafeteria next to Sebastian and Finn, I listen with mild interest as their voices blend into a casual murmur discussing the new handheld game devices they expect to hit the market in a few years.

  Except Finn seems to be less enthusiastic about the whole thing, uncharacteristically leaving Sebastian to lead the conversation as he lounges on his arms.

  As their discussion reaches a lull, Finn catches my eye and I turn away.

  Sebastian mumbles questioningly to himself as he notices Finn's standoffishness and decides to bring up a topic the silver-haired boy just can't ignore.

  Tapping his temple, Sebastian squints his eyes in concentration, "Ah... I forget Finn. What was it you were going to use for your Senior Capstone Prank? Wet wipes or used doggy bags?"

  Finn looks over at him zily, "Neither. I might call the whole thing off."

  The sound of my fork cttering against the table breaks the silence that statement caused, and Sebastian and I exchange wide-eyed gnces.

  Sebastian pces a concerned hand on Finn's back.

  "A...Are you okay, man?" he asks in a stumble.

  Finn grins, his mischievous eyes gleaming as he sticks out his tongue at us.

  "I'm not terminally ill, I promise."

  Sebastian lets out a relieved sigh.

  But this time, Finn makes it a point to stare directly at me. Before I can look away, his striking gray-blue eyes implore to me that he wants to talk. This time, I can't help but look at him back.

  "I'm going to the bathroom, Sebby. Probably won't be back for the period so I'll see you at the dorm," Finn says, stretching his arms while he throws his tray in the trash.

  Sebastian groans hearing his nickname, "Yeah, yeah. Gd to see that you're back to normal."

  The two of us watch Finn leave past the cafeteria doors.

  "Ah, I need to use the bathroom as well." I tag on, standing up from the bench.

  "Okay, see you soon," Sebastian says, giving a short wave goodbye.

  He focuses his attention on speed-eating the rest of his meal, eager to leave the now half-empty table behind.

  I wait for a few minutes in the hall, scanning the area around me before I step into the first-floor bathroom. It's quiet—just the hum of the fluorescent lights above and the scent of freshly cleaned tiles fill the area. I open each stall door carefully, one by one, but Finn isn't there.

  Peeking outside the room again, I see a slightly ajar closet door at the far-end of the hall. The familiarity of it hits me.

  I walk over carefully and gnce inside to see a glimpse of silver hair.

  "Coming in," I softly whisper as I move and gently close the door behind me.

  It's dark inside, just like it was the st time we were in a closet together. Yet, somehow, it feels different now. Colder. We weren't hiding away, speaking in hushed tones, and finding comfort in shared stories anymore. This time, the silence comes from the weight of our unspoken words, the distance that has grown between us since his loud exit from the dorm two weeks ago.

  "Hello," I mumble.

  "...Hey," Finn replies.

  Awkward silence overtakes us.

  I hear Finn slump down to the floor, his groan breaking the stillness.

  He ruffles his hair tiredly, "I just wanted to apologize for how I left two weeks ago."

  I join him on the ground and kneel at the other end of the closet.

  "You were just trying to look out for me, but I didn't want to hear those words yet. Maybe ever," he admits, his voice thick with an honesty I hadn't expected.

  In the dark room, I see a small smirk on his lips despite his somber tone.

  "But hey... I took your advice," he grins.

  My eyes widen as I shuffle closer.

  "You did?" I marvel.

  "Yeah. You know, I guess I hate my old man so much, I decided to throw myself into a different lions' den instead." he chuckles. "After I left the room and cooled down for a couple hours on his pne, I paged Laoise's husband and asked if I could stay over at their house for Vernal break. You know, all before I could change my mind,"

  He shrugs his shoulders as he mentions his sister's spouse, "I guess he wanted to use it as a chance to schmooze more money from my Dad or something because the estate was the only thing he would talk about with me."

  But even in the low light, I catch the quiet sparkle in his gray eyes.

  "But I saw Laoise, Damien! Oh man... she has kids now! Can you even believe it? A boy and girl. I bet she's the perfect mother," he says, his grin widening as he recalls the moment.

  I ugh, my heart swelling at the genuine joy radiating from him.

  "That first day, I chatted about random things with her husband until he would finally leave me alone. And when her husband went to sleep, I stayed up in their living room hoping that she'd sneak out of her bed and meet me."

  Finn comes to an abrupt stop, the tips of his nails lightly tracing the hardwood floor beneath us. His expression holds a contemptive look as he takes a moment to pause.

  "But I was scared... Just as scared as I was back at her wedding, maybe even more. Man, I'm telling you my heart was racing and I felt like I was either going to die or run for the hills. I honestly was considering sneaking back into their guest room and pretending like I was asleep the whole time just so I wouldn't have to deal with the pain of her not showing up," Finn says and then stops. "But I didn't."

  He looks towards me.

  "You know why?"

  I shake my head slightly but I know that he caught it because he smiles.

  "I thought about you."

  Finn shifts his body to fully face me.

  "You're out here breaking ws, fighting the status quo, just doing crazy things that my petty pranks won't ever hold a candle to... so how would I be able to look you in the eye when I came back if sitting on a couch for a few extra minutes was too much for me?"

  I let out a quiet ugh and he grins.

  "Before I could successfully overthink myself into cardiac arrest, Laoise slipped past the halls a few minutes ter." His eyes look towards the closet door. "And she didn't say a word but sat down beside me."

  "I didn't know what to tell her that would be right. My mind was racing, my thoughts jumbled, and she was just standing there, watching me. I probably looked like an idiot. And yet I still came up bnk. So instead of opening with some stupid half-baked joke, I just said what's been on my mind for the past ten years. I asked her...

  'Do you hate me?'"

  He pauses again and then smiles.

  "And she didn't even say anything back. She just hugged me like a bear and started crying! Not just crying, sobbing and bawling like a baby.

  Silly sis... all that noise she was making? It had me crying right there next to her." he says in a breathy ugh. "Can you imagine it? Both of us sat there sobbing like children on a couch that was probably half the net worth of Caelum City."

  We both snicker, sharing such a true understanding that we don't need to say anything more.

  "And after, she held my face and asked me if I was okay and if Dad had hurt me since then. And, I'm telling you, I'm sitting there absolutely stunned. I didn't know what to say! But I knew what I wanted to tell her, 'Laoise... what about you!'"

  He wipes his face wearily as he chuckles.

  "Of course, it's just like her to think about everyone else before herself. But either way, the whole thing was just awesome. We talked the whole night about everything under the sun until we saw the morning light start to come up."

  He gnces at me again, emotion written all over his face.

  "...It was perfect, you know."

  "And though she looked older, I swear, she was just as beautiful as she'd ever been. At the end of the night, we hugged again and she smiled at me..."

  Finn bites his thumb holding back a grin.

  "And I never realized that I missed her smile so insanely much... I'm going to go back as many times as I can after this term ends. I don't care how many random fun facts I have to learn about Dad's company to keep her husband interested, I'll do it all to see her."

  Looking back at me he continues, "But I want to say thank you. I don't know how much longer I would've put off seeing her if you never said anything."

  He looks down at the floor as he clenches his fists.

  "I wasted so much time messing with the principal and this school just to get on my parent's nerves... I'm done with all that."

  He stops for a moment and thinks it over.

  "Mostly."

  We both suppress ughter, our breaths coming out in short, quiet bursts as we struggle to hold ourselves back.

  After our fits end, he huffs finally back to his normal personality, "By the way! You and Sebastian must think I'm stupid! Don't think I haven't noticed what's been going on.

  He rolls his eyes, "You guys stare at each other like lovesick puppies all the time,"

  I blush trying to think of a way to push back before he interrupts me.

  "It's okay, I give you my blessing. Take care of my son," he winks mischievously. But his voice softens towards the end, the lightness fading as the silence envelops us.

  "Of course, the term's almost ending..." he murmurs gravely.

  His words hang in the air, and my heartbeat stutters, as though he's made the unspoken truth come to life.

  "You need to talk to Leonard," he asserts with sincere eyes.

  "I... I will," I whisper.

  He looks at me for a moment longer and smiles with a sigh before tapping my head, "Thanks for being a friend. And sorry."

  His eyes flicker down in regret, "...for everything."

  I bite my lip before nodding, then we stand up together and leave the closet.

  As we walk back to the dorm, Sebastian finds us and joins our stroll but not before scolding us both for abandoning him at the table. Talking with one another, we round the corner and pass the fourth-floor stairway that leads up to the senior dorms.

  The dorms... where Leonard lives.

  I feel my gaze harden without thinking, and Sebastian notices it immediately. He gnces at Finn, who is lost in his thoughts, before whispering in my ear, "What's wrong, Camille?"

  "Nothing," I say with a small smile.

  He watches me for a second before returning it and resuming his talk with Finn.

  I rub the fabric of my shoulder cuffs as I look back towards the stairwell.

  'Everything will be fine.'