Chapter Five

  Reality snapped bato focus, leaving me in McGus’ training room.

  “Holy japenos,” I whispered, a small cloud of smoke puffing out of my mouth, “I’m alive.”

  “Of course you are. You’re too stupid to die.”

  I turo see McGus standing at the edge of the room, arms folded and mouth slig a bitter frown in his faothing out of the usual there. I gnced down at myself. Soot and dried mud cracked every time I moved, and a few trails of smoke rose from my blue hair.

  “Just another day at the office,” I croaked, holding up the Escher Cube for him to see.

  McGus just grunted, stubbornly refusing to be impressed. “Where was it?”

  “Mexico. It appeared in the middle of a desert gnome y st night, and they decided to worship it as their new god. When I showed up and tried to take it…”

  Lightning. Tornadoes. Fire falling from the heavens. At least one giant maing duck.

  “…they didn’t react well.”

  That got a rare smirk out of him, which would have been encing if he hadn’t been ughing at me. I held out the Cube, waiting for him to take it. I’d cat IW bay own dimension and then walk home. With any luck, I’d be ba time to watch my Sunday m cartoons before someone else id cim to the TV. But instead of taking the Cube, McGus looked around and then raised his eyebrow at me.

  “What?” I asked.

  “Where’s the kid?”

  “Huh?” I cocked my head. “Ethan? He’s at my pce. Where else would he be?”

  The old Green’s expression darkened. “Damn it, Henry. Are y to get the cil to fire you?”

  I jumped. “Fire me? What for?”

  “For breaking the promise you made less tha ho!” McGus turned acidic green eyes on me. “Do you think this is a joke?”

  “I…But…” My hands waved meaningless gestures in the air. “You wanted me t him?”

  “It doesn’t matter what I want. What matters is what you said st night.”

  “It was dangerous out there!” I yelled, pointing at my face. “If this happeo me, hoieces do you thihan would be in right now?”

  “Until he learns to ugh again, he stay with me.” McGus quoted. “I’ll be near him all the time to protect him from maiams.”

  I held up a finger. “Okay, but hear me out: I was also told not to let a maiam get him.”

  “That’s true,” McGus admitted.

  “Sing him to the maiams is probably the st thing I’d want to dht?”

  “I didn’t make the terms for yreement, Henry. You did. And if you want to stay the Hunter, you’ll have to abide by them.”

  “He’s fine,” I insisted. “I left him with my parents.”

  “And did your parents beaiam hunters while I was asleep?”

  I groaned loudly, dragging my fingers down my face. Why did old people have to be so freaking critical of everything?

  “What you said st night is true,” McGus said, leaning forward to tower over me. “Every maiam in the try is going to be drawn to the ughter inside him. That means that the most danger he’s ever going to be in is when the Hunter isn’t by his side.”

  I shut my mouth. The old fart had a point. Not that I pnned on telling him that, but still…

  “I won’t tell the cil that you left him behind today,” he said, turning to leave. “But only this once. Uand?”

  I sighed. “Yes, Master.”

  “Good.” He turo limp away — a result of the injury that had vinced him to retire and take on an apprehree years ago.

  “Wait!” I held out the Cube. “What about—”

  “Keep it for now.” Without turning around, he flicked an envelope over his shoulder. It glided across the room, and I snatched it out of the air. “You’ve got another one.”

  My fiightened, kling the paper. “Already?”

  McGus paused at the doorway and nodded, still not looking at me. My heart sank into my stomach. Two maiams in one weekend. I’d be lucky if I had any time to watch cartoons today.

  “Take care of it,” the old Green said, “and bring the Cube back after school tomorrow.”

  “Snickerdoodles!” I spat.

  “And curse like an adult, damn it!”

  I grabbed the Cube in both hands, twisting the top row of smaller cubes to the right. Reality shifted around me again, as if I were inside a giant gss box that mimicked everything I did to the Escher Cube. McGus’ head slid smoothly off his neck as the top part of the rger cube rotated arouil he was gring at my back. I kept twisting the stone Cube, breaking the world into smaller and smaller pieces, until…

  I stopped, and the living room of my house snapped into focus.

  “Is that you, Henry?” Mom shouted from the kit. “Breakfast is ready!”

  The sweet smell of her chocote chip patacked my nose, remindihat I haden anything since before the hunt st night. I didn’t answer her, though, instead setting down the Cube and looking at the envelope McGus had given me.

  To They Who Bear the Title of Hunter was written in swirly bk.

  Sighing, I tore it open.

  Name: Harriet Evi read. Age: forty seven. Creen. Believed to be hiding in an old eai ter ion Vista, Arkansas.

  That was it. All the information I was ever given befoing on a hunt. Grumbling, I wadded the letter up into a ball and chucked it across the room, where it bounced off the TV. It was dark, but the remote sat tantalizingly close on the coffee table o the Escher Cube. It was Sunday, and I’d already spent Saturday fighting maiams and draggihan around. Didn’t I deserve to sit down, shovel some of Mom’s pancakes into my dang face, and rot my brain with mindless cartoons? It wasn’t like the world would end if I waited one day to go kill that maiam, would it?

  Ethan’s uncle would probably disagree, my ical side answered.

  I winced. When had I gotten so good at guilt tripping myself? Sighing, I walked into the kit, where Ethan was sitting across the table from my parents, looking as unfortable as a slug in a salt mine. I doubted he’d stay that way for long, though. Mom and Dad have a way with people that I’ve never been able to copy. They’d ma my brother — adopted brother, teically, but who cares? — rad out of his shell, and he ecial. Give them a week, and they’d have Ethan feeling like he art of the family too, even if he obviously thought they were fattening him for dinner right now.

  Mom urple, the only one in our family. Grandpa Teddy and Grandmonkey Esther had both been Blues, so that had e as a bit of a shock to them. I had her round fad long straight hair, though she wore hers tied ba a bun. Dad was broad shouldered and had his green hair cut in an army crew cut, with a square beard framing his mouth. One Purple, one Green. It was just my rotten luck that I’d been born Blue.

  “Hey,” I said, trying to sound cheerful. “’t stick around, I have another job. And I’m bringihan.”

  Ethan dropped his fork into his p with a wet syrup-y spt.

  “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Dad asked slowly.

  Ethan frantically shook his head.

  I shrugged. “cil’s orders.”

  Mom and Dad shared a look, and I could tell exactly what they thought of cil’s orders. Still, they knew my situation well enough not tue. If the cil of Shnoob said jump, I asked how high. If they told me t a defeeenager into mortal danger, I asked what color his body bag should be.

  “Well,” Dad said finally, “you be sure to take good care of him.”

  “Very good care,” Mom added.

  “I will. Pinky promise!” I said, snagging a pah one hand and haulihan out of his seat with the other.

  Ethan dug in his heels. “But I don’t want to—”

  “Don’t talk with your mouth full,” I said, stuffing the pao his mouth, then grabbed another for myself.

  “Urr drrm’t wrrntrgrbbrr!” he protested as I dragged him into the living room. Frantically chewing and swallowing, he demanded, “Where are you taking me?”

  I grabbed the Escher Cube off the coffee table. Let’s see. Ourn to the right to go to the Zanderzon Dimension. Then one backwards vertical turn for the Third Broccolian Empire. After that, three to the right would take us to the Polka Dimension — I’d want to get out of there as fast as possible. Hopefully I could get us where we o go without sendihan to the moon or something.

  “Henry?” he asked, sounding borderline panicked. “Where are we going?”

  I turhe Cube.