A knock at the door jerked me back to awareness. After taking care of my body, Serenity Paradox had shown me some additional spellforms that could build off the same principles. That had ballooned into whole other trees of spellforms, but the one I’d ended up focusing on was a physical reinforcement designed to let me strengthen my barriers by increasing my resistance to the strain of taking greater impacts. I didn’t really want to need stronger barriers, but the novelty of learning about how Chosen stuff worked was exciting on its own. This was the first time I’d ever seen how pieces of my spellforms could interact with each other to make something more than the piddly bsts I was throwing around. I knew I wasn’t ever going to have the power to use any of the good stuff that big-name Chosen like Sor Fury and Rose Ronin threw around. But maybe I could learn enough to be less of an embarrassment. Maybe they’d let me keep my apartment and my district.

  Shit. Until they learned about Lheisatha. No way were they letting me keep Serenity Paradox after that. I didn’t know how you could break a Chosen’s bond with their Crystal any more than I knew how to break a bond with a Chosen’s familiar, but if they didn’t have one, they were going to invent both for me. And then I could go down in history as the most pathetic excuse for a Chosen ever. The first un-Chosen, even.

  Yay.

  A knock sounded again, louder and more insistent. Right, someone was at the door.

  Shit, someone was at the door. Wait – who would even want to see me, unless… Oh, please no. If my mom, or worse, one of her dead-beat hook-ups, was here to shake me down for money I didn’t have, I was going to scream. That was humiliating on a normal day, but now? If I had to answer the door naked…

  Well, at least committing a murder would probably get someone out here to check on me.

  Fuck – okay, no, I wasn’t going to kill someone, but then, what was I going to do? I couldn’t meet someone like this, but if Lheisatha had to answer it… That was probably worse, right? She’d probably eat whoever it was and make me hide the remains. So, I had to do it, but…

  I looked down. I was still naked except for my colr. I couldn’t answer the door like this.

  Wait! There were some clothes. There was some cy lingerie stuff in the bedroom. It wasn’t ideal. In fact, it was going to be mortifying. But I might be able to pretend I slept in that, which was better than someone asking why I’d answered the door naked.

  Because none of the answers for that were good.

  So, I needed to convince Lheisatha to let me get dressed, and then answer the door. And get whoever it was away as quickly as possible.

  God, this was going to suck. But if I was saving someone’s life, that was better, right? I screwed up my courage.

  “Mistress, may I…?”

  I felt Lheisatha’s hand run through my hair.

  “Answer that? Hmmm. Yes. I think you may.”

  “May I stand to open the door, Mistress?”

  Lheisatha’s lips curled into a smile.

  “You may.”

  Two out of three. Now for the st one. Please, God, or whoever is watching this, please let her say yes. Please let her say yes.

  “Mistress, may I…” I stuttered, then forced myself to push on. “It might cause awkward questions if I answered the door naked. May I cover up with something? Like the… garments in the closet?”

  There. I wouldn’t be naked, I could answer the door and get whoever away, and I’d offered to wear something humiliating and skimpy, which Lheisatha seemed to enjoy. Everyone could get what they wanted.

  “No.”

  My heart sank.

  “What?”

  “Mistress.”

  “What, Mistress?”

  Lheisatha’s hand in my hair tightened its grip, holding me in pce.

  “Do you remember my rule? About only speaking when spoken to?”

  I did remember that. I tried to follow it. It was, and it was new, but I’d done okay, hadn’t I? Was she going to get upset over something that small?

  “My rules are the most important thing in your life, pet. There are no small infractions. This is your punishment. Open the door and invite whoever’s out there inside.”

  “But – “

  “Pet, if I have to drag you to that door, it’s going to get worse.”

  Serenity Paradox twitched warningly on my chest.

  “Fuck – I’m going. I’m going! Please, I’m going!”

  Oh, god. I was really doing this? Of course I was – my body was already moving without me deciding anything. Because when Lheisatha ordered me to do something, I had to do it.

  Fuck, someone was going to see me – Please, please let it be someone who didn’t know me. Like a package delivery, or something. I couldn’t remember ordering anything, but who cares? Maybe it was a wrong address and I could just send them on their way. Anything, as long as it wasn’t my mom. She and Lheisatha could never meet.

  Maybe it was a caseworker or something. And I could just promise to call ter and blow her off. That wouldn’t be so bad. She had to keep her mouth shut about this kind of stuff, right?

  Right. I could survive that. It was going to be embarrassing, sure. But it would be over quickly, and they would never see me again, so I didn’t have to care. And I would get through this.

  The door was right there. Somehow, I’d already made it across the room and to the entryway. I was going to –

  Rex. I took a deep breath. You can do this. It can’t be anyone you know, because you don’t know anyone who would care enough to be here. It’s just some rando.

  Another deep breath. I stood. Grabbed the handle. Twisted.

  The door didn’t move. Right, shit. Deadbolt. I flipped it. Took another deep breath.

  And pulled the door open.

  Yuki Ashigawa was standing outside my door, her hand raised to knock again.

  “No…” I whispered.

  It wasn’t real. This was a sick game Lheisatha was pying. It wasn’t real, it wasn’t Yuki and –

  “Oh my fucking god, Emma. What is wrong with you?” Yuki spat at me. “Is this some kind of perv thing – I bet it is. I bet that’s why you didn’t fucking show up yesterday. You were too busy jilling off to do your only fucking job?”

  “…Will you please come it?” I whispered and stepped out of the way.

  “Are you fucking crying?” She was so close, I could feel her breath on me. See the top of her blouse through the tears in my eyes.

  “Yes,” I whimpered.

  Her hand grabbed my cheeks and pulled my face up to look at her. She was trying to look disgusted, but I knew Yuki well enough to know that that was an act. Internally, she had to be delighted. She was going to wring this out as long as she could, and then tell everyone who she knew. Or just everyone who knew me.

  God, if my life hadn’t been over before today…

  “I’m waiting, pet,” Lheisatha called from the room.

  Yuki’s face turned absolutely feral.

  “Oh my god, you actually have someone here? What, did you kidnap them?”

  And like that, she was off. I locked the door and slowly followed.

  “Well. I guess you really are a pervert.”

  Yuki had only made it as far as the entryway before she’d stopped, and now she was eyeing the décor. I stared straight at my feet. Engaging would only make things worse. If I didn’t say anything, she’d poke around until she got bored, and then she’d leave. Please let her leave. Please let it be soon.

  “Why are you standing, pet?”

  Of course it could still get worse. Of course it could. I didn’t bother begging. Lheisatha was already sending me her displeasure, and she wasn’t py-acting for the audience. She wanted me crawling back to her and was getting angrier by the second that I wasn’t.

  I didn’t look at Yuki as I knelt and crawled around her. I didn’t listen to her sharp intake of breath. I didn’t care that I was showing her my naked and exposed ass as I crawled, or that she was probably going to tell everyone who would listen that the teardrops I left on the floor were actually cumdrops because I was enjoying every second of this. I put all of it out of my mind and I crawled, one hand in front of the next, until I was beside Lheisatha’s throne. I straightened up, spread my knees, and folded my arms behind my back like she wanted. All the while, Yuki’s stare was burning a hole in me.

  “…So, what’s going on here, if you don’t mind me asking?” Yuki asked Lheisatha conversationally, like she’d walked in on something perfectly normal and she wasn’t already plotting. “I was going to offer to rescue you, but you don’t look kidnapped.”

  “I’m not,” Lheisatha said, running a hand through my hair. Her tone was calm, but I could hear her smile, and it definitely had that edge. “I’ve just moved in. Do you like what I’ve done with the pce?”

  “It’s not my thing, but I guess it fits the… vibe you’re going for. Really, though? You can aim way higher than that loser.”

  “Oh, she just needs a bit of training,” Lheisatha said, and she ran her hand through my hair again.

  “Really?” I heard Yuki stop, a few feet away from the throne. “Well, if you’re why she wasn’t on patrol like she was supposed to be yesterday, then it’s you I’ve got a problem with.”

  “Oh?” Through the bond, I felt Lheisatha’s attention focus in on Yuki. “And what might that problem be?”

  “She was supposed to be on patrol yesterday. A kaiju came out of the bay and attacked the Bay Bridge, and I could have used some backup.”

  And now I felt satisfaction. Lheisatha liked where this was going.

  “She left you hanging, did she? When you needed her?”

  I gulped. No, that wasn’t what happened!

  “I had medical leave,” I blurted out.

  I did. Lheisatha had said so. And I wasn’t even awake, so how could I have helped Yuki? And for that matter, I didn’t believe for a moment she actually wanted my help. She’d gone out of her way to tell me how useless she thought I was at every opportunity.

  Like this one.

  I could feel Yuki looking me over, like a cat plotting how it was going to toy with a mouse before finally killing it.

  “Medical leave,” she repeated slowly. “That’s funny. You don’t look particurly hurt.”

  Oh, fuck. She was putting it together. She was going to figure out who Lheisatha was. Fuck, I’d been lucky that she hadn’t figured it out the moment she walked in the room. But now…

  “…’M not,” I mumbled.

  Her eyes narrowed.

  “You’re not. So, you’re just a lying, zy bitch who fucked off…” her voice trailed off. Here it was.

  “…Or was it something else, huh?” She looked back and forth between Lheisatha and I. “But that can’t be right. Even you aren’t that pathetic, right, Emma? You’re just a zy cunt, right?”

  She knew. Her eyes were gleaming. She knew. She wanted to make me say it out loud, just to twist the knife, but she already knew.

  “Tell her, pet.” Lheisatha’s cws in my hair tightened.

  I wanted everything to end. I could feel tears running down my cheeks and dripping onto my chest. I wanted to die. Anything to get out of this.

  “I’m her familiar,” I choked out.

  Yuki cpped her hands together in delight and cackled. She actually, honest-to-god cackled, ughing so hard she bent over holding her sides.

  “How are you such a fuck-up?” she asked. “Like, really? How are you so useless? Is this a bit you’re doing? Yeah, you,” she spat at me, “you useless fucking cow. I can’t even depend on you to show up for fucking participation credit.”

  I was trembling, shaking more with everything Yuki said. Lheisatha was saying something in response to Yuki’s rant, but the words slipped past me. I bit my lip to keep from sobbing out loud, then just gave up.

  Why bother denying it? Yuki was right. I might have been passed out, but I was only passed out because I fucked up the familiar ritual, which I’d only needed to do because I couldn’t fight off a single, barely-dangerous kaiju on my own. Yuki probably spent half of her time cleaning up after me, all because I couldn’t handle being a real Chosen. That had to be exhausting. If I were in her shoes, I’d hate me, too.

  “It’s the principle of the matter,” Yuki was saying.

  “Of course, of course.”

  I felt something flickering from Lheisatha. Not satisfaction, but…

  Oh, no.

  Hunger. Oh, god, was she going to –

  And in front of –

  “It’s Yuki, isn’t it?” Lheisatha’s voice was smooth, almost like she was purring. Oh, god, she was going to.

  “Emma has already earned some punishment, and I think it would be good for her if you helped. You could make sure she really understands how she’s made you feel.”

  “What?” My head snapped up. I felt the blood rush from my face in horror.

  “What?” Yuki asked in fake disbelief, like she wasn’t going to leap at the opportunity.

  “Consider it an open offer to… air your grievances. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, of course.”

  “Limits?” Yuki asked like she’d done this kind of thing before.

  “Don’t kill her,” Lheisatha amended. “Actually, nothing Emma can’t heal from. Apart from that?” She shrugged. “Have fun.”

  Yuki looked back and forth between Lheisatha and I. A grin split her face. An evil grin.

  “Oh, I think I will.”