Content Warning:

  SpoilerMentions of rape

  [colpse]I flop down into the passenger seat of my mom’s car, too tired to care about the dirt or the smell. My mom smiles at me as I sit, and reaches over to tap my shoulder. “Did you have fun, Kiddo?”

  “Not really.” I admit, as we start to drive back home. “I like hanging out with Caleb, but that just isn’t my type of activity.”

  “I get it.” My mom says, keeping her eyes on the road. “I’m sorry you didn’t have fun.”

  “It’s fine.” I say, my mind drifting. “I’m seeing Holly tomorrow anyways, and I know that’s going to be fun.”

  “Oh?” My mom says, her eyebrows raised. “Twice in one week. You sure are seeing a lot of this girl.”

  I chuckle. “Yeah.” And if all goes well, I’ll be seeing a lot more of her throughout the summer.

  With my mind already on Holly, I decide to pull out my phone and let her know I finally have cell service again.

  ‘I miss you, Danny.’

  ‘I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.’

  ‘Ughhhhhhh… I’m bored.’

  ‘I read this really good book today. I think you would like it. Maybe we can read it together tomorrow.’

  ‘OMG, so the strangest thing just happened. You know who Alice is, right?’

  A bolt of fear surges into my brain at the mention of the girl who tried to frame me for rape. Oh I know her… I take a deep breath, calming my panicking heart. I’m still terrified she’s gonna lie about me again, this time when I can’t show the police evidence that I wasn’t even in the state when she says it happened.

  I lean against the seatbelt and close my eyes. I never should have told her I had a thing for her best friend. If I had just broken up with her like a normal person, or even just suffered through dating her, she never would have tried to ruin my life. I chuckle at that. She almost succeeded too… But Caleb would never leave me, and now I have Holly too. Things are really starting to look up.

  ‘Okay, I’m not waiting to see if you remember who she is.’

  ‘So Alice comes to my house today to hang out with May and her girlfriend Paige, and she fucking corners me in my room and asks me out!’

  Another jolt of fear courses through me. Holly got asked out today…? Am I too te…?

  ‘Of course I said no. I have my eye on someone else. Anyways, she really didn’t want to take no for an answer and tried to kiss me! How gross is that!’

  She has her eye on someone else? Could that someone else be me? Am I that lucky? I smile for a bit at the thought before constructing a return message.

  ‘Hey. I hope you’re doing alright. That sucks about Alice. It’s really not okay for her to do that to you. I miss you too, by the way. A lot. I miss you so much. I cannot wait until noon tomorrow so I can see you. I’d love to read that book with you. Maybe soon I’ll let you read mine. Anyways, today sucked. It wasn’t bad per se, it was nice to see Caleb, but I did not have fun. I’m going to shower when I get home, so I may not respond immediately. Text you when I’m out.’

  Holly doesn’t respond immediately, so I just y there and rex until we get home.

  ?????????????

  My eyes flutter open to reveal sun streaming through my windows. Oh no! What time is it!? I check my phone and see that it’s only a little bit after ten. Okay, still time to get ready. I fly out of bed and into the shower.

  The cold water helps wake me up and the eventual hot water soothes my aching muscles from yesterday. I am so gd to be going to see Holly today. I clean myself quickly, and dry off even faster, before heading straight for my room to pick an outfit.

  I end up settling on another pair of bck ripped skinny jeans, and a bck tank top that slowly fades into a red forest with huge mushrooms and trees as it hits the hem. I bet Holly is going to love this tank top! I pull out a bck and gray fnnel, and wrap it around my waist as the final piece to my outfit puzzle.

  I look in the mirror, and decide to spin for myself, which is immediately proven futile as I can’t see myself while I spin. It felt nice though. I sigh and head out to the main room where my mom is sitting on the couch, still drawing on her tablet.

  “Hey, Mom?” I ask.

  “Yeah, Sweetie?” She calls back.

  I look down, hating that I have to ask for her help with something so simple. “Can you dry and style my hair again?”

  “No problem.” She says as she sets her tablet down on the coffee table. “Do you want the same style as I did yesterday?”

  I shake my head. “Actually um… Can you style it like how Holly did?”

  My mom gives me a knowing smile. “Sure thing, Kiddo.”

  It doesn’t take her long to dry out my hair, and she gives me a small run down of how to do it, so that I can try and do it myself next time. Afterwards she pulls my hair into the same part that Holly did, and uses hairspray to keep the heavier side off my face easier.

  “What do you think?” She asks.

  I turn to the mirror and nearly gasp as I see myself. I can’t exactly tell what is different about this look, or why I like it so much, but I love it. This is who I am meant to be.

  “It’s perfect.” I say, and throw my arms around my mom. “Thanks, Mom.”

  “You’re welcome.” She says, seeming surprised at the sudden dispy of affection. “Now come on, we should probably get you some breakfast before we need to head to Holly’s.”

  ?????????????

  I shut the door behind me, and just as expected, there is Holly, waiting on her front porch, still wearing my fnnel. I jog up to her doorstep, and she immediately pulls me into a tight hug.

  Her warm breath grazes against my ear, nearly turning my legs to jelly. “I missed you.”

  “I missed you too.” I say, holding her close.

  After a few moments she pulls back and studies me. “You look amazing.” She says, lifting my hair slightly to get a full look at my face. “Really… You’re so pretty.” Her face heats up at exactly the same time as mine does. “I mean-” She splutters for words. “Handsome. Hot. Something else.”

  I can’t help but let out a giggle at her confusion. “You’re fine, Holly.” I say, looking her in the eye. “I’m just happy you like looking at me.” I sigh deeply as we head inside. I want to ask her out right now but… After what Alice did yesterday, maybe I should give it some time, just to be safe.

  Holly squeezes my hand as she pulls me into her bedroom and we sit down on her bed. “I was thinking, maybe we can start with pying a game together?” She says, her eyes glinting in the light. “There’s this one fighting game I really think you’ll like…”

  “Sounds great.” I say, and tuck my legs in under myself. “If you think I’ll like it, then I know I will!”

  She chuckles, and rubs the back of my knuckles while she turns on the TV and gets the two nearby controllers set up. I watch with interest as she opens a game that I’ve never heard of before called Chaotic Cogs.

  After a few moments she brings up the character select screen, and hands me a controller. “Take a moment to figure out which fighter looks the most interesting to you.” She says with a grin. “Then I’ll teach you how to py before we actually start fighting.”

  “Sounds good.” I say, and start scrolling through my options.

  There are a couple that look good, and I agonize over the decision for a while, before eventually selecting a blonde girl with pointy ears, a green hoodie, white thigh high socks, and bck canvas high tops.

  “Ooh, nice!” Holly says with a smile. “I love Doreen, she’s so cute.”

  “Doreen?” I say, more than a bit surprised. “Isn’t that kind of an old dy name?”

  “I mean, yeah. In the lore, she chose it when she came out as a trans girl.” She smiles over at me. “She’s one of the few canon trans characters in video games. It’s really cool.”

  “That is really cool!” I say with a smile. “I love games that are progressive.”

  She giggles at me, and starts the game. It turns out that my character can sprout long tentacles that can be used to sp or grab my opponent. She spends a long time teaching me how to py, and while I don’t get very good, I can at least give her some sort of a challenge.

  After the first few matches, Holly shifts positions to where she’s mostly leaning on me. I smile and snuggle a bit closer to her, and she gdly accepts it. We py for nearly an hour, before she pulls back, tears in her eyes.

  “Is everything okay, Holly?” I ask, extremely concerned.

  The small trickle of tears bursts forth in a sob that racks through her body, causing her to shake in my arms. I pull her close, and rub small circles into her back. She continues sobbing, but I can feel them lessening. My fingers trail into her hair, and I tug and pull gently at the golden strands.

  She hums gently, and after a moment lets out a soft groan. We spend a while like this, her in my arms, me comforting her as best I can. Eventually though she pulls back and looks down, tears brimming at the edge of her eyes.

  “Now or never.” She whispers to herself before looking up into my eyes.

  She doesn’t say anything for a long moment, so I decide to ask her. “What’s wrong, Holly?”

  She sighs deeply, and looks down again. “I…h…ve…rus…n…ou…” She mumbles.

  “What did you say?” I ask softly, while tilting her chin back slightly so I can actually hear.

  She takes a deep breath in, and lets it out. “I think I have a crush on you…” My heart goes from racing to a dead stop. So… It’s true… She really does… “But I’m scared, and very confused.”

  “I…” I stumble over the words, but manage to string them together. “Why are you scared and confused?”

  She lets out yet another deep breath. “I’m a lesbian, Danny. I like girls…” I open my mouth to speak but she cuts me off. “I really, really like you. I know for a fact that I have feelings for you… but I’m not sure if I’m attracted to you.” My fragile heart plummets for the stone floor. “You’re cute, really cute… but I think I’m attracted to the more feminine parts of you…” She says softly.

  All at once her hand reaches out to catch my falling heart and shove it back into my chest. She’s attracted to the more feminine parts of me… I… Maybe, just maybe, I can make this happen.

  I take a deep breath, and push the muscles in my throat upwards, lifting my trachea before speaking. “I think that maybe we can make that work.”

  My voice comes out light and melodic; the perfect imitation of a girl's voice. Holly’s face is an unreadable mess of confusion, awe, and something else. I smile at her, and maintain the vocal structure for my impression.

  I can’t tell her I learned this to troll people in an online video game, that’s so stupid! “I started learning this voice as a party trick.” I expin. “I wanted to impress people. Eventually I tried singing while doing the impression, and it sounded great, way better than my actual voice, so I started singing in this voice.” She looks into my eyes, clearly working through everything I’m saying. “And now all my songs are done in this voice, and they sound so much better. You see why I was worried about letting you hear them…”

  Her face quickly tinges pink, and before I can react, she presses her lips to mine. I feel her nails dig into the exposed flesh of my left arm as she pushes me back against the wall. Her legs come over mine as she climbs higher on my body, and her other hand weaves itself into my hair before tightening and pulling my head closer to hers.

  After what could have been a few moments, or a lifetime, she pulls away, smiling at me. Her smile quickly fades, and the pained look returns to her eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

  “Holly,” I say, my voice still bright and bubbly. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “I did though.” She says, her voice strained. “I kissed you while I’m not even sure this is what I want.”

  “What can I do to make you sure?” I say gently. She doesn’t respond immediately so I continue. “Why not just try it. If we don’t work out, we can just go back to being friends.”

  “I don’t know if I could be friends with you if we split up…” She says softly. “I really, really like you… I-”

  “You’re just not sure you’re attracted to me.” I finish.

  “Yea…” She says sadly, before looking up at me. “Um… Can I maybe try something?”

  “Anything.” I say quickly. “Whatever will help you figure out what it is that you want, no matter which outcome it is.”

  She looks slightly stunned at my words, but quickly shakes it away. “Okay, wait here.”

  She stands up, and flips on the main lights in her room, before retreating to the bathroom and digging around in a drawer or a cabinet or something. I really hope she decides she does want to be with me. I could do this voice all the time if it meant she would be with me… I sigh deeply. If she decides not to, I’ll be okay with it. It’s going to hurt, but I’ll figure it out.

  Holly returns with a bck bag that is nearly bursting at the seams, and a headband. She sits down in front of me, and pces her hand on my cheek. “You really are lovely…” She chokes on air, and after coughing for a moment she looks back at me. “Sorry.”

  “No big deal.” I say with a smile, enjoying her smile as she listens to my vocal impression. “What is that?”

  “This is my makeup bag.” She expins. “I want to try and feminize your face, just a tiny bit, if that’s okay.”

  I nod repeatedly. “If this will help you figure things out, then yes, it’s okay.”

  She smiles and immediately begins pulling out products, most of which look simir, and none of which I know the names of. She spends a good while applying the products to my face. My nose itches, and I feel like my eyes watering has ruined the makeup repeatedly, but still, she eventually sits back and gives me a smile.

  More than a smile. Her eyes are a mixture of pleasure and longing. “How do I look?” I ask.

  She pulls out her phone and snaps a photo of me, before turning it around and showing it to me. The girl in the photo, and it clearly is a girl, is stunning. Her shoulder length light brown hair frames her face absolutely perfectly. Her brown eyes, rimmed in bck liner, and a smokey shadow, pierce into my soul. Her cheeks and nose are a little rosy, yet the makeup does nothing to hide the consteltion of freckles across her face.

  “She’s beautiful…” I say softly, as I fight back the tears threatening to ruin Holly’s hard work. Maybe Holly and I can be together after all.

  “You’re beautiful.” She says with a smile, and leans forwards to kiss me. After a few moments she pulls away. “Now, as much as those clothes are slightly feminine, let’s get you into something a lot more girly.”

  I nod, and she immediately runs to her dresser and starts pulling out clothes. I watch as she tosses a few articles onto the bed, and eventually returns to me.

  “Alright, let’s get your tank top off carefully, then get these on.” She says, holding up a bundle of mostly bck clothes.

  “I um…” I stutter. “My tank top?”

  “Yeah, silly.” She says, and gets really close to me. “Now that I’m your girlfriend, it’s not a problem for you to get changed in front of me, right?”

  “RIght.” I gulp, and smile slightly down at her.

  “Good.” She says, and then pnts a chaste kiss on my lips. “Now get rid of the tank top.”

  I carefully pull it off, and then carefully pull on the bck shirt she hands me. To call it a shirt is an overstatement. Its sleeves barely extend a quarter of the way down my bicep, and it stops well above my belly button. She then has me pull on bck and red striped arm warmers, which are surprisingly useful given how little skin the shirt covers.

  I bnche at the sight of what’s in her hands. Fishnet leggings… “Holly…” I say but trail off.

  She brings her body close to mine, and her smell fills my nostrils. “You don’t have to. I just think it would look cute on you. If it’s too much, we slow down, okay?”

  I nod. “Okay. Let me try it.”

  She doesn’t stare as I pull my pants off, but stops me before I pull the fishnets on. “I was hoping you were wearing my underwear today. You need something smaller, like these boyshorts.”

  She hands me a pair of her underwear, which I now know to be boyshorts, and turns around so I can get changed. I’m grateful she doesn’t try to watch, and quickly swap out my underwear, before shoving my boxers into the pile of my clothes on her bed.

  “You can turn around now.” I say, as I pull the fishnets up my legs.

  She squeals with glee as she looks at me. “You already look amazing. Here’s the st thing.”

  She holds up a bck skirt with a red pid lining. It’s cut on the side, with ces running across it, so you can see just a bit of the pid leaking through. My heart pounds as I take the garment in my hands and pull it up my legs. Holly zips it up from behind, and then steps around in front of me.

  “Yup.” She says, a self satisfied grin on her face. “You’re gorgeous.”

  “I um…” I mumble. “Can I see?”

  “Sure!” She says happily, then pulls out her phone.

  She takes tons of photos. After the first few, she starts instructing me to pose in different ways, then she decides to get in them with me, and takes various selfies of me in her p. She surprises me with a kiss on the cheek for one of them, and get her back by cupping her cheeks and kissing her lips for the next photo.

  We spend a very long time taking photos, and then eventually just ying down together. She sends me every single one she took, and then we look through them together.

  “This one is going to be my new lock screen.” She says as she shows me the one from earlier of her surprising me with a kiss.

  “I love it.” I say, smiling at the two girls on screen.

  She changes her lockscreen like she said, and also changes her home screen to one of me posing with my hands curled like cat cws. After this she just pulls my head to her chest, and strokes my hair.

  “I don’t know how I got so lucky.” She says as she pys with my light brown locks.

  “You’re wonderful, Holly.” I say, my voice barely above a whisper from the strain of using my girl impression for too long. “You didn’t need to be lucky.”

  My phone chimes before she can respond, and I pull it out to see a text from my mom. “Everything alright?” Holly asks.

  “My mom is on her way.” I say sadly. “I need to take off these clothes…”

  “That’s okay.” Holly says with a smile, and pnts another kiss on my lips. “With or without the clothes, with or without the makeup, you’re mine.”

  I try hard to believe her, I really do, but deep in my heart I know she’d leave me if I stopped letting her dress me like a girl. “I’m yours, Holly.” I say before taking a breath. “All yours.”