Peter and I walk over to where the magic class trainers congregate. The portal is in an archway, surrounded by chanting robed orcs, and a handful of guards.

  Helga says: We need to talk.

  Earl says: Hey, sure, where?

  Helga says: just keep doing what you’re doing i'll come grab you in a bit.

  Earl says: Can I ask what we need to talk about?

  She does not respond for several minutes as Peter waits for me next to the portal. Tingly, crawling anxiety floods my body.

  “What’s up?” Peter asks me.

  “Something's up with Helga but she won’t tell me yet. Also, it’s pretty obvious she’s watching me.” I tell him, looking around and trying to catch a spy. How many are tailing me now? At least one of Thunderspank’s spankies, and now one of Helgas? Does the one spy work for both of them?

  “Well if she won’t tell you, there’s no reason to worry about it yet.” Peter tells me, like I can just choose not to worry.

  “Right.” I tell him, stepping towards the portal. I let him go first, following after.

  The loading screen shows a chamber filled with portal archways, set up like a magical crossroads. It takes slightly longer than average for the bar to fill up.

  When my vision returns, all hell has broken loose. Orcs pushing human defenders away from the portal as they try to push us back through the way we came. Wasting no time, I sent a tornado Edge into the crowd. Humans are knocked off of their feet and reduced to chum, giving our side breathing room and the opportunity to push forward.

  “Assassins, move up the stairs and find out if that noise alerted the humans above.” Wudhagh orders.

  Earl says: When did the middle child get here?

  Peter says: He was supposed to escort us through, but the quest is all screwy. Just do what he says so we can get the quest done.

  We stand aside as the second son of the Honorlord orders the nameless orc N.P.C.s around. He wants the portal room secured before the scouting party returns, I’m not sure how much more secure it could be with every human defender dead. The orcs he sent ahead return, cleaning blood from their blades.

  “The city is unaware of our presence for now.” one of them tells Wudhagh.

  “Good. Until they are, we move silently below their feet. Secure the other rooms through those doors, then report back to me.” Wudhagh commands us.

  Secure the armory 0/1

  Secure the war room 0/1

  Secure the trophy room 0/1

  Peter nods to me, and we move to the closest destination marker, opening the rusted metal door to the armory. A single human sits on the other side of a cage with a small window.

  Human Quartermaster. Level 60

  The human jumps when he sees us, and reaches for something to his side in a panic. For a split second, a shrill alarm begins to ring, before it is silenced. I say “Huh?” but don’t hear myself speak. I clap my hands, feeling the impacts but hearing no sound. I turn to Peter, eyebrow raised, and spot an orc dressed in dark purple robes, glowing violet eyes above an ugly, toothy grin.

  Orc Warlock. Level 60

  Peter says: the warlock cast Silence on the room.

  I nod, turning my attention back to the human. He’s desperately pressing the alarm over and over, staring at us in terror. I send Thunderhead flying across the room at him, but the bars of his cage are too close together for my hammer to fit through. I cast Split Sword, ten bricks pass through the gaps easily, and pound the quartermaster to death.

  I don’t get a notification that the armory is secure, so we take a look around. Beyond the bars, weapons hang on the wall, some spaces are empty, but most still have an axe, sythe, hammer, machete, and other tools-that-also-work-as-weapons. Glowing runes and crystals create a faint barrier around them, it’s clear the weapons that have been removed had the magical lock disabled first.

  Peter reaches through the window and passes his hand though the alarm rune under the desk, deactivating it.

  Secure the armory 1/1

  We move back through the portal chamber to the next door, and enter the war room. No humans are present, just an empty room with maps hanging on the wall, and one stretched across a table in the middle. Little figurines that resemble orc soldiers and dragons are placed on the surface, showing the movements of a war long past.

  Secure the war room 1/1

  Easy enough. Last but not least, the trophy room. We enter through the door, and I stop dead a single step in. Stretched before us is a long hallway decorated on both sides with mounted heads and stuffed, standing creatures on pedestals. Most of them are humanoids, resembling fantasy species. A stuffed centaur, the bottom half of a mermaid, the head of a troll. I recognize them all from the mural I found in that cave. These are the peoples the orcs wiped out while they were the uncontested apex predators of the world. All the way at the end of the hallway, an empty pedestal sits, waiting for its trophy.

  The plaque on the front reads “God”

  “Pretty ambitious.” I say to Peter. He laughs.

  “Yeah. A whole lot of people took exception to that, but nothing ever came of it.” He tells me.

  Secure the trophy room 1/1

  With everything done, we return to Wudhagh.

  Reclaim the Foundation complete! Experience gained.

  “Our scouts will return shortly with word from the Honorlord. Until then, remain here, do not alert the humans to our presence.” He tells us.

  Across the room, Helga waves us over.

  “Hey.” I say when we reach her.

  “Hey.” she responds.

  “Should I wait here?” Peter asks.

  “Yes.” Helga tells him. “Earl, come with me.” She moves up the stairs.

  I look back at Peter, who shrugs, and Wudhagh, who explicitly told me not to do what I’m about to do. Oh well. I follow Helga up the stairs, the dark stone walls transition to the lighter, smaller bricked style of humanity.

  “Where are we?” I ask as we crest the top of the stairs.

  “The human capital city. Stay close to me.” She tells me.

  “Aren't they going to attack us?”

  “The players know better than to fuck with me. I can handle any NPCs that attack.”

  Helga has invited you to a group.

  You’re already in a group.

  “Leave your group with Peter and join mine.”

  “Hey, gotta leave party. Be back asap.” I tell Peter in our group channel.

  “Ok, message me if you need anything.” He says.

  I leave one group and join the other.

  “This way” She says, moving through the hallway. We walk through what is clearly the throne room, important looking humans shout at the guards, who attack us, Helga dispatches them easily, like swatting flies. We leave the castle, and walk through the city streets. Players stop to watch us, some obviously recording. None of them make a move, just like Helga said. Many streets later, she guides me down a secluded alleyway, and into a basement behind a small clinic.

  Down the stairs, two orc guards I think I might recognize stand to either side of a reinforced door. On our arrival, one of them knocks a specific pattern, and the door swings open. Inside, more orc guards stand around a room, a human woman sits in a chair next to a bed in the center, Ladakh laying on it with a bundle in her arms.

  Help support creative writers by finding and reading their stories on the original site.

  “So this is where you’ve been,” I say, smiling at Lagakh. “Who’s this?” I ask, coming around to see the baby in her arms. A little newborn orc, eyes closed and cooing softly in their sleep.

  “Earlgor, your son.”

  If they could hear my brain, the sound of windows shutting down would shatter their eardrums.

  “Huh?” Is all I manage, dumbly.

  “Lagakh got pregnant the other day. In this game, players can choose to shorten the nine months down to a single day. NPCs do it automatically.” Helga tells me. “I was too but I declined.”

  My brain stalls out thinking about someone going through nine months of hell over the course of a single day, but latches on to the last thing she said.

  “You aborted our baby without talking to me about it?” I ask her, dumbfounded.

  “I clicked ‘no’ on an in-game prompt, Earl. It’s not that serious.” she tells me, crossing her arms.

  “But Lagakh went through with it.” I state the obvious.

  I look down at our green bundle of joy. He yawns, and opens his eyes. They’re a lighter green than his skin, just like mine. He stares at me uncomprehendingly.

  “I named him after you.” Ladakh tells me, with a warm smile. Usually her smiles are scary.

  “I got that.” I tell her, chuckling. Earl-gore. I’m a little slow on the uptake, but not that slow.

  “She had to hide out here because if her family found out, they would’ve killed her. They still will if we’re discovered.” Helga tells me. “Our Honored daughter has been friends with the human princess in secret, this was her idea.”

  “Thank you.” I tell the single human in the room full of orcs.

  Princess Rosalie Lambert. Level ??

  “Of course.” She says with a strange look on her face. Like she has more to say, but can’t or won’t say it.

  “I’m sorry I missed the birth.” I tell Lagakh.

  She snorts a laugh.

  “Orc men do not attend the birth of their children. Rarely are they even aware that they exist until they are old enough to hold an axe.” she tells me.

  “I don’t want to be a deadbeat dad,” I begin saying, thinking of the best way to put it. “But I need to keep leveling up. I can’t exactly drop everything for the next eighteen years.”

  “He’ll be eighteen by Thursday.” Helga tells me.

  I turn to her, jaw slack.

  “His whole life is going to be accelerated like the pregnancy?” I ask

  “Unless the story calls for a kid, yeah, he’ll be an adult before the end of the week. That’s part of the problem.” Helga says. “Once all of her brothers are wiped out, Lagakh is the next in line for the throne. When she gave birth to your son, you became part of the Honored family, making you the heir.”

  Title Earned: [Name], First Son-in-Law of Honorlord Mergigoth Dragonslayer

  My head explodes.

  Not literally, but you get it.

  “WHAT!” I scream, earning a glare from everyone in the room.

  “You can abdicate the throne to your son, but that doesn't solve the problem of the Honored sons and the Honorlord demanding your heads the second they find out.” Helga responds to my outburst.

  I find a chair and sit, my head in my hands.

  “They already want Peter and I dead for killing his third son.” I mumble into my palms.

  “Wurkul is dead?” Lagakh asks, distraught.

  “Yes, sorry, something happened in the faerie forest and the queen summoned him to attack us.” I tell her without lying.

  “He can’t be dead. You need to kill him for a quest later.” Helga tells me.

  “I know but he is. The same thing happened with Mournthing in the labyrinth dungeon. When we went in he wasn’t there, because I killed him already.” I inform her.

  She just stares at me with a deeply confused look on her face.

  “I already cleared our name under orc law by dueling the captain of the guard.” I look up at Helga. “Killed him too.”

  “He is the first boss of the dungeon at the end of the expansion.” She informs me.

  “Not anymore.” I tell her.

  I look at Lagakh and my son. She smiles at me, and I smile back.

  “Can I hold him?” I ask her.

  She blinks, surprised by the question. Then, she lifts him for me to take. I cradle him in my arms, his face inches away from mine. I expect him to cry in terror at my orc face, but he just stares. I run a finger across his cheek, and swear I catch a small smile. A tear rolls down my face and lands on his swaddle. I’m both in this room with him, and In the hospital holding my daughter the day she was born. She wasn't much of a crier either.

  After months of agonizing over the wellbeing of my wife and unborn child, more than anything, the day of her birth was the biggest relief of my life. Unbeknownst to me, it would be the start of many years of anxiety. Every sneeze was a threat to her life in my mind, I wished for nothing more than to protect her from the world. Even if he’s a series of ones and zeroes, I feel the same way about Earl Jr. I gently hand him back to Lagakh, she pulls him close to her chest, still wearing a baffled look on her face.

  My head turns to the door at the sound of commotion behind it, just before the door blows off its hinges, and Wudhagh steps through.

  “Oh fuck”

  Wudhagh immediately charges me, ignoring the much stronger Helga. I raise my shield and hammer, not trusting only one to block the incoming blow. I was correct to do so, as his axe cleaves a huge gash into my shield, and takes a chunk off of Thunderhead.

  Ouch!

  My arms ache with damage that penetrated my block, and my health plummets. Helga drives both axes into the honored son’s back, drawing his attention away from me. As I step away from their brawl, I spot the guards and warlocks he brought with him, picking fights with Lagakh’s own guards.

  I throw Thunderhead, knocking one of the guards from his feet, and catch him in the head as I Recall my hammer. The small basement space is too tight to use any of my abilities effectively, though I trust the game to differentiate friend from foe, even with the human present. I use Intervention to keep an axe blow from tearing into Helga’s side, instead, the blow shears off a third of Thunderhead.

  Again, ouch!

  Sorry! I think at my hammer.

  Instead of risking the rest of his head, I repeatedly throw and recall the hammer in quick succession. One enemy orc after another falls, their skulls caved in by the reduced but still oversized hammer.

  Earlgor cries out in terror.

  I whip my head around, spotting the assassin attempting to drive a knife into Lagakh. She fends him off with one arm, the other still cradling our newborn baby. My blood boils, and my vision clouds red. I can feel the heat pouring off of my eyes and flesh as I cross the room. I grab the back of the assassin’s head, and crush it in my grip. He goes slack in my hand, his wicked dagger clattering to the floor. Blood runs down my arm and drips from my elbow onto the floor.

  As the red fades from my eyes, my vision grows clear enough to see Lagakh looking up into my face, our child held close to her with both arms. The terrified look on her face transitions to… something else. She sighs heavily, eyes half lidded, and bites her lip.

  I drop the assassin, flicking blood off of my fingers onto his corpse. While I was distracted, Thunderhead dealt with the other assassin going after the human princess. His body is bent in places it’s not meant to, having been struck with unnatural force.

  Well done.

  Another!

  I try to oblige my hammer, finding the only enemy left is Wudhagh. Hesitantly, I watch his ongoing battle with Helga before deciding whether or not to join the fray. They trade blows, Helga using her two axes to redirect his one large battleaxe away from her. He swings up and around much faster than should be possible, almost cleaving her in half at an angle.

  The only reason he doesn’t is because I’ve used New Master on his axe, forcing the edge to freeze in the air above Helga’s shoulder.

  It lasts mere moments, but that is more than enough time for Helga to drive both of her hatchets into the sides of his neck, removing his head and a v-shaped chunk of his torso. He falls lifeless to the floor. With the final attacker dead, the room is completely silent.

  You have reached level 61!

  Strength increased by 128%!

  Agility increased by 128%!

  Intelligence increased by 128%!

  Everyone present looks at each other, scared that more may be coming or horrified by what’s already come to pass.

  “We need to get back to Peter. Now.” Helga tells me from the doorway.

  I turn back to the bed and gently place a hand over my boy. He’s fallen back asleep after the commotion. I look up from him to Lagakh, staring into her eyes. After a moment, I gently kiss her forehead, then take my leave. Going back the way we came, Helga does not need to slaughter respawning human guards, to my surprise. The streets are strangely empty this time.

  Peter has joined your group.

  “What the hell happened?” he asks in voice chat.

  “Wudhagh followed us. Helga killed him.” I tell him.

  “Where did you go?”

  I turn to Helga, using my eyebrow to ask if it’s ok to tell him. She nods.

  “Lagakh is in hiding with my son.” I tell him seriously.

  “Oh ok, that makes sense.” he responds casually.

  “‘Oh ok’? What do you mean ‘oh ok’?”

  “What do you mean what do I mean?”

  “You knew?” I practically scream.

  “You didn’t?” he retorts at equal volume.

  “As much as I love this back and forth, you two need to start explaining what the hell is going on.” Helga interrupts us.

  By the time she speaks up, we’ve reached the portal chamber. It’s completely empty, except for Peter, tied to a chair. When he sees us, he stands without much effort, the ropes falling away. He and I look at eachother, knowing full well that if we even hint at what’s really going on, the Monitor will come down on us like a ton of bricks.

  “The game has been bugging out.” Peter begins telling her. “Like back when Revolution first released. N.P.C.s aren't where they’re supposed to be, and canon events have been erased and replaced.”

  Helga strokes her chin thoughtfully. “Earl told me a few bosses weren't in their places. What else can you tell me?”

  I notice one of her eyes is clouded over. How long has she been recording?

  “There’s really not much else to it. A handful of bosses are dead before their time and an unkillable dinosaur screwed up our dungeon.” I tell her.

  “We need to get out of here before somebody comes through that portal.” Peter says.

  “Right.” Helga says, obviously not done grilling us.

  “But where can we go?” I ask, noting the only ways out of this room is back up to the human city, or through the portal back to our city.

  Peter crosses the room to an inactive portal archway. “This one’s supposed to activate when you turn in the quest.”

  “Oh.” I say, using the interface to turn it in, seen as the guy we’re supposed to turn it in to is in two pieces.

  Reclaim the Foundation completed! Experience gained.

  As I do, the archway comes to life, a glowing portal appearing in it, flowering vines crawl across the stonework around it. “Where’s it go?”

  “The heart of the Gormer forest, elf territory.” Peter tells me, waiting for me next to it.

  “They’re not going to attack us on sight?” I ask.

  “No, you’ll see.” He tells me, stepping through.

  I look back at Helga before stepping through. She nods.

  “I’ll keep them safe. Don’t worry.” She tells me.

  “Thank you.”

  Helga has left your group.