Oh, heart of mine

  If you could give me a break

  Your voice is so loud

  Why are you crying child?

  They have hurt you I hear your tears

  So so wide beyond your years

  They have hurt you more than they can see.

  Oh, bird caged in my chest

  Always fighting with my soul

  Why are you ablaze?

  Watching everything with a sad gaze

  You never truly accepted this cage.

  The moon will rise on your fears

  And you'll hear the voice you seek

  It will call you its child

  It will hold you near.

  So until we pass this sea

  Until we leave,

  Can you hold on for me?

  Oh, weeping misery of mine

  You never run out of cries

  My arms don't give you much warmth

  And my chest is too tight for your flight.

  I whisper late in the nights

  With a hand settled on your sounds,

  That I'll be here no matter no what

  And that I hope you ever let me inside

  It's lonely heart

  It's lonely.

  Dear friend,

  I don't have to say you're mine.

  You know, and I know

  The unspeakable truth of what we hide.

  Two worlds never meant to be found

  Rather than joined and sewed like a beautiful gown.

  Yet I speak with your voice as much as you don't in mine

  And if anyone looks they'll see two of the same kind.

  Are we just that good at acting what we dream, friend?

  Or is it the denial we both drink greedily after every fight?

  (You know the answer and so do I, but I won't talk

  No, you won't listen.)

  Like a child you are

  I sigh fondly at your eyes.

  Teary and bright,

  And yet so so wide.

  Like a child you are

  You can't let go of what you are.

  I smile behind my hand and hide

  Oh your ire was always one of a kind

  But I'm not laughing at you, dear mine.

  No,

  I'm laughing at those who see more than a child.

  (You'll protest vehemently and you will frown

  But under that show of a child

  You'll hold a gaze that drowns

  Yes, dear mine.

  You wish someone would see

  How you're just a child.)

  Your curiosity never ebbs

  It bubbles and rises

  Yet hides beneath the surface.

  Am I the reason for your fear?

  Dear child,

  Am I the reason you fear?

  I tried to see the world without my eyes

  Maybe then the breeze would only carry light

  And it will reach the darkness you desire

  And maybe

  Stay more than a night.

  But I couldn't, oh I still can't

  Feeling you shrink inside me and hide

  What a failure I am.

  Your curiosity dims and it's a tearful sight

  Like children being at war and birds on the ground

  It's a horrible sight

  And I only gasp and choke with the plight.

  (Would you believe me if I said

  That I'm more scared than you somedays?)

  Desert of mine,

  How long will you search for the right time?

  Even a desert can die

  Yes even a desert can die.

  So where is that dam and what will break its act?

  The desert is cruel dear mine

  And nobody knows that

  Nobody does.

  A blue desert they see

  Birds flying and waves crawling

  A blue desert they see.

  (When will you stop? Nobody knows

  When will you stop?)

  Dear mine, I still ask

  With a quiet voice

  (You never liked the past.)

  If I could do anything to make you live again.

  And you shake your head with those stubborn tears

  Knowing you can't live and crying it because oh

  Yes

  We just want to live, don't we?

  Yes

  We always did.

  There was no certain moment when the line beeped

  Nothing so dramatic nothing so clear

  It was waves chipping away at the sea

  Between and in between

  You can't see if the living beings cease.

  The shore stood still and there

  And it's for the same reason our tears never land

  The sea screamed its depths and withered

  Like a rose dying within those who live

  With an intensity that chases even death

  And the shore didn't stumble nor fear

  It stood sure in its place

  Looking at us

  With a wistful sorrow that was hard to see.

  Yes it knows it does

  The nights we spent

  Building towers upon towers

  Of things that were never us

  Like a mother, it looks at us with love

  Tainted by the sadness only a mother knows

  When she sees her child fighting so viciously

  Just to stay up.

  If it could give us the boat it would

  Throw it with the power only sorrow gives

  But the shore can't move it can't change

  One detail is enough for it all to fade.

  Because towers is a generous word

  Dripping in denial and heart-wrenching despair

  No

  They were not towers.

  Nothing that grand

  They were sand castles

  Built within the sea

  Frail and frail.

  So it ended

  So suddenly

  This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

  On a cold night in January

  I felt it slip away from my fingers in fright

  Oh, I didn't want to continue this life.

  You felt it too but you were louder than I

  Still young and hopeful

  Silly child of mine

  I couldn't comfort you and I didn't

  The pain of the loss still too fresh for it to be built

  Into pretty sand castles and shiny roads.

  So I stayed silent and watched you cry yourself into the earth

  It was shattering and the waves calmed in front of your storm

  I couldn't find the words

  I couldn't find myself

  How do we explain how it is to die

  When we still live?

  You continued your screams and I thought

  That it was enough.

  I see it in your eyes sometimes

  Even though you wrap it in your wary knowledge

  I always find .

  (Perhaps not wanting to be alone in my suffering

  Perhaps hoping for a return of anything.)

  That absent-minded smile that is buried behind your eyes

  It tells me you can still hear the voice of life

  It tells me we still can't

  Forget our lives.

  But it's not just a smile no, dear mine.

  When was anything just with you?

  It was a fragile hope after an eternity of darkness

  A little thing that sneaked in between the overwhelming trials.

  (To build the same castles we watched fall

  To watch the castles we built fall.)

  It was a soft grief

  A soft death

  A memory that kills

  Yet makes you alive.

  Watching the boys on the sand passing balls

  You smile in that soft reserved way and I know you're remembering the time you ran after them yourself.

  (The tears still rush the same after all this time

  Grief grief grief.)

  Your arms tense around you and your eyes follow like a hawk

  We built every castle together and I know

  You want to tell them not to stray too far.

  Stay away from the sea children

  No, it's not the pirates

  Not anymore

  It's the waves

  It's in the waves.

  But they won't go near

  I don't say

  I know that you know

  When the smile turns self-deprecating and cruel

  I know you know.

  (Nobody nears what they fear

  No

  But some people

  In some places

  Are born with their fear nestled inside of them

  So so close.)

  I walk through the warm sand towards the sea

  I can see your back facing me

  Eyes towards the sky

  (A caged bird can't fly)

  You hear me coming and you don't move

  The scene is too important no

  You don't move.

  The waves are high today and they crash in your eyes

  The fear is there but also resign

  Yes, dear mine.

  We built mirages for a long while

  And the waves are ready to erase

  All our sorrowful tries.

  I sit beside you, not touching

  (A bird never likes its cage, even if it's also caged.)

  We watch the waves for a while and I hear you exhale

  What is there to say at the end of this way

  When we built so many fakes

  That we forgot what it meant to be real

  But I wait and I don't interrupt

  (Still, the cage always tries.

  In small, limited ways to make the walls less than what they are.)

  You don't interrupt a dying wish

  No

  You don't.

  We've gone far, you say

  (Have we?)

  We tried hard, you doubt but say anyway.

  Shaky, doubtful, yet always trying.

  After all those years,

  You still know how to break me.

  But I think it's time to let go.

  You whisper slowly

  Afraid of leaving the helm even in your last moments.

  (Who knows what would happen if you're not there?

  You have to make sure the castles are intact

  You have to make sure the waves don't dry.)

  Let go of what, I ask the sky

  Yet you answer

  Always so wise.

  We were always meant to crash,

  (Like waves, something whispers deep inside)

  But we tried too hard to ignore that

  To change that.

  Even though we were born with the knowledge

  That birds fly, mountains stand and seas crash.

  (But isn't it human nature you think with a pang of despair that always came in those moments

  Isn't it normal to want to live?)

  (A voice says you died long ago and you crush it with every will left in you

  Because you can't face the grief today

  Not today.)

  The waves creep closer and the scene almost looks to be horror

  Fragile castles surrounded by hungry wolves

  Waiting to bring it all crashing down.

  (You always watched and you always built after they fell

  But now

  Now you don't

  It's time to let go

  The sky agrees.)

  Your hand lies on the sand palm up

  And it's such a fragile gesture that I can't control my sobs

  Oh, dear mine

  You were always the better one.

  My fingers reach towards you like a whisper

  I'm sorry, they timidly offer

  And settle on your cold fingers.

  (Always so so cold.

  I could never give you warmth.)

  They ramble apologies and words

  Like a small child with hope

  How the roles turn how they go.

  I see the little smile flickering on your face and it makes the falling castles less the end.

  (Not a beginning no, not anymore.

  But still

  Something lighter and sweeter than the end.)

  Your hand engulfs mine with a careful warmth and I

  Break down along with the watery sand

  Hearing the words you left unsaid.

  "It's okay, we tried."

  The sand returns to the depths of the sea and I close my eyes and breathe.

  (Something sweeter than the end.)