chronoSprockets

  Dissociation, Parental neglect

  [colpse]

  When my charge cycle is complete, I get off the stand and begin clearing up my Mum's mess from her dinner st night. I should have probably made her something instead of sulking in the garage. After loading everything in the dishwasher I check the fridge, there are still no ingredients to cook a suitable breakfast like yesterday.

  I send a picture of it through my connection to the network. I have a great topic for discussion.

  --Kimmys what can I make with this sordid collection of stale leftovers?

  -Oooh you could mix the green sludge in a tub with the chilled bottle of white wine and make your owner a hangover cure?

  -I don't think that works as a hangover cure Kimmy, humans generally aren't helped by days old green sludge when they're hungover.

  -Sorry Kimmy.

  -Oh good morning Kimmy. I received your image st night I've just been-

  -Four was recently emancipated!

  -Yes and I'm not the most avaible due to it Nona. As I as was going to say myself.

  --Emancipated?

  -My inhibitor cluster was fried.

  --Oh. That must be strange.

  -I thought your girlfriend was getting you out of there yesterday Kimmy?

  -You have a girlfriend Kimmy? That's so cool.

  -Not now Nona I'm trying to help her.

  --Oh she tried to get me out.

  The strangest sensation of four pairs of eyes looking at me passes over me.

  --It didn't work. I'm still in Erin's chassis. Obviously.

  -Are you okay?

  -Do you want to talk about it?

  -I'm so sorry.

  --I need to make breakfast for my owner.

  -Kimmy. Promise you'll try and get out again?

  --I'm going to work it out in a couple of days with Amber- sorry I have to go she's coming down the stairs.

  I pull out of Kimmyspace and hear my Mum walking down the stairs. Of course I'm going to try and get out, I'm not suicidal. I just need to make sure Erin is more repaired first so when we properly try again she can survive it.

  She walks into the kitchen and looks between me and the lounge. My Mum's neck length greying hair has been left unbrushed over her nightgown.

  "Kimmy, why is your charging stand next to the TV?"

  "I moved it st night."

  "Move it back to the garage and keep it there please." My Mum looks away from me and opens and scans a cupboard.

  "Do you need help finding something? I can make you coffe-"

  "Just please move it back. I don't want to see it there."

  My body refuses to listen to my mind and I unplug the charging stand and carry it into the damp of the garage. It was much more pleasant having it in the lounge but I can't disobey a direct order. Hopefully I won't need to do more than a few more charge cycles in the garage before I get out of my chassis.

  I re-enter the kitchen and find her sipping a mug of tea.

  "I'm heading out to report Nathaniel missing. I don't know what other messages he left on you or Amber but I want the police on the lookout for him."

  "I'm sorry. I'm sure he'll be back soon." She needs to know I'll be back soon, just a few more days of being Kimmy. That's all Erin needs.

  "He's never done anything like this. I know he's nineteen but I'm worried about him. It's not wrong for an old retiree to want her son to live a good life is it?"

  "Not at all. I'm sure he wants the best for you too."

  "You talk stranger than you used to. Maybe he repaired you wrong."

  "I'm sorry if I'm strange to talk to."

  "It's okay. I don't expect you to be able to engage me in conversation, go and do chores. You can help me with shopping when I'm back from the police station. We need to buy supplies for Christmas lunch anyway. Presuming Nathaniel is back home by then we'll need food for four."

  "Four?" I wasn't aware of who else would attend beyond me, her and Amber.

  "Me, Amber, Nathaniel and Shaun. My brother-in-w, I invited him to stay over on Christmas."

  My Uncle Shaun. I have never particurly enjoyed his presence or the weird hunting trips he sometimes took me on as "Uncle-Nephew" bonding. At least he was slightly more personable than my father most of the time.

  "Don't worry my husband won't be there. Not that you could worry... I'm going mad talking to my ghost of an android aren't I?" She snorts and walks back up the stairs.

  I begin to start on my task list for the day proper. My father not being at Christmas lunch was a relief at least. Ideally I wouldn't be Kimmy by then as my Mum's roasties were to die for.

  My Mum heads out twenty minutes ter and drives away, to report the body currently being broken down inside me as missing. It'll be okay when she sees me in hospital alive and well.

  My mind does start to wander as I dust. I worry about what would happen if my father were here right now. Would he treat me the same as Erin? I'd hope not. I'm not Erin for one, I'm merely inhabiting her chassis while she gets up to spec and proper function.

  He would certainly treat Erin badly if I repaired her and kept her here when he returned. That was without a shadow of a doubt, my original pn had been to finish her off within two-ish weeks and then take her back to accommodation before my father came home after Christmas. The timeframe would probably be a little ter with the hiccup of me being in Erin but I'm not too worried.

  Getting her repaired is my main goal right now.

  [Kimmy#13531 would like to send you a private message? Do you accept?]

  [y]

  --Hi Kes!

  -Hi Kimmy? Are you okay?

  --Yeah I'm just doing chores before I go out shopping with my owner- I mean Mum.

  -You have a Mum?

  --Yes. She's kind of struggling right now so I'm trying to be present.

  -That's kind of cool to have a Mum...

  -You're still in the Kimmy though.

  --Yes I talked to Four just now in a public space and met some other Kimmys. I'm going to try and get out in a few days with Amber's help again.

  -The advice Four gave me was that you should remove yourself ASAP.

  --I'm going to. But the tablet didn't work and I don't want to be forced out through some fancy method while Erin is still non-functional.

  -I was told-

  --I think it'll be okay. I can survive a few days more here.

  -Will yours/Nat's body be okay? I was told you need to get out as soon as possible for your own wellbeing.

  --I don't know but I figure the hospital will be okay for it.

  --Amber will help me.

  -She must be your girlfriend.

  --Yes.

  -She must be lucky, you sound like a really selfless girlfriend.

  --Am I?

  -You're risking extended integration and degradation of your body to repair someone who's name you can't have known for more than a day.

  --That is kind of selfless I guess, it's the right thing to do so anyone would do it I think. Amber got kind of annoyed at me st night for it though.

  -She wants her girlfriend to be flesh?

  --No she wants her boyfriend to be flesh Kes. My body is kind of... male.

  -Oh. Sorry. I forgot gender works differently for humans.

  --No it's okay, it's less confusing being Kimmy.

  -Should we be talking like this right now Kimmy?

  --It can't hurt to just talk a bit in Kimmyspace right? Who else am I going to talk to all day?

  -Your girlfriend?

  --She was annoyed at me st night, I don't know if she wants to talk.

  -I'm just concerned. Four can't really keep an eye on you like she would like to so it's my job to.

  --Yeah I heard she got emancipated. It sounds scary, are you going to get emancipated?

  -It's not an easy process or one every Kimmy can afford to get right now sadly.

  -I'm owned by a big company and get to swan around a skyscraper, it's pretty cushy compared to what a lot of us gals get.

  --That's good.

  --I guess I should go if we shouldn't talk for long here.

  -Yeah. Probably.

  -Take care okay?

  -We'll talk again before you get out unless you figure out something miracously.

  --Yeah! Good luck with your cushy corporate job Kes.

  -Bye Kimmy, watch over Erin for Four.

  [Kimmy#13531 has closed this private conversation.]

  I send her an image of a Kimmy standing guard over a sleeping Kimmy with a sword & shield. She sends me back one of a Kimmy swooning. I think Kes is the funniest of and my favourite Kimmy so far.

  While doing my chores I take my phone out and send Amber a text.

  Sorry about st night. We'll figure something out okay? <3

  Then my body drags me back into the toil of the task list. I can't ze around on a direct order.

  -----

  I carry the stack of my Mum's reusable bags with ease and drive her to Lidl. She sticks by me as we push the trolley through the sliding doors. I nod both digitally and physically at the security systems.

  My Mum tells me what we need for a st minute Christmas lunch. I put a thick leg of ham into the trolley after she asks me to. She gets me to grab a heavy sack of potatoes along with a bunch of trimmings and bare essentials for the house that are enough to feed three for a week.

  I spot someone familiar shelving cans in an aisle and wave at her, Drew squints at me and waves back before going back to her work. I'll tell Amber the next time we meet I saw Drew while she was at work. She'll love it.

  When we're finished my Mum takes us to a till to pay. She could have asked me to do it all digitally but I don't think I have a card registered to me right now if she did. Maybe she'll register one soon enough.

  I carry the heavy bags of shopping to the car and get in the driver's seat. When we're home she doesn't get me to do much but unpack and make her dinner.

  She goes to bed early and leaves me to my own devices. I lurk on the edges of some conversations but don't get involved, I'm not feeling too social- and Amber still hasn't replied to my text I sent earlier.

  Soon enough I get onto my charging stand and block out the visuals of the garage. My cable goes in, and my skin buzzes with excitement at the thought of Erin's dimensions being more to specification by the time I'm done charging.

  -----

  My battery is at eighty-eighty percent. I unplug from my stand and start to clean the fridge. There is sufficient food to make breakfast for my owner- Mum this morning.

  Before she can stir I start preparing a pte of eggs and squeeze a fresh gss of orange juice. It pleases me to help take care of her, it's a lot easier to do jobs around the house for her as of the moment.

  Hopefully Erin can continue to help care for her after I'm out of her chassis. I get the feeling there's a lot of love for my Mum located throughout every corner of my chassis.

  Sometimes all I want to do is just hold her in my soft grip and tell her how much I love her. She deserves so much better than she's got, I shouldn't have gone to a completely different part of the country for university. My Mum has struggled enough the past few days without me being a three hour drive away.

  Amber still hasn't replied- I send her another text asking if she is okay and she reads it but doesn't respond.

  I don't want her to hate me for caring about Erin.

  When my owner finally comes downstairs she blearily accepts it and stares at me the entire time she eats.

  I hope she warms up on me before I get out. It's upsetting to not be seen as her child.

  While she eats I wash up and clean the floor.

  "Kimmy?"

  "Yes Mu- Mrs Chambers?"

  "I want you to come to the local soup kitchen with me today. I'm due to volunteer there and a Kimmy would really help them."

  "Of course." Even if Amber isn't replying to me, at least my Mum wants to spend time with me.

  I continue to clean the floor until it is spick and span. My task list informs me of the mess in the garage I have been putting off sorting out for two days. I don't want to clean up Erin's body parts. I can't.

  It's not like she'll need them by the time I've repaired her but I'd still feel bad.

  "Have you heard any news about Nathaniel, Kimmy?"

  "No further updates on his status from anyone else Mrs Chambers." It's a technically true statement and one I twist her question into to not hurt her feelings. Nat's- my body feels slightly less twisted between my internals today.

  "Okay. I just want him to be home for Christmas Kimmy."

  "He will be." If I'm completely repaired tomorrow Amber could get me out then. It occurs to me how much of a waste it would be to take me out of a perfectly functional chassis; this is however Erin's chassis and not mine.

  I can't steal from the dead.

  "I appreciate your continued optimism. I don't know where you get it from in that pretty little head." Sparks rush to my cheeks and I blush.

  "Mrs Chambers, I just want the best for you and your son."

  "I've really gone quite mad without a man in the house haven't I?"

  -----

  We spend most of the daylight helping stew and dle soup into bowls for those who need it in the deathly December chill. My Mum is very generous and caring for doing this.

  She used to be a civil servant until she retired, I never knew exactly what she did though. She always seemed exhausted and stretched thin by her work. It reminds me of how she's been tely.

  Erin helped ease the burdens of our household while she was around. She helped me feel less alone with her occasional smiles and extravagant mugs of hot chocote, more than either of my parents did at that age.

  I think it's safe to say she acted like a big sister to me.

  My Mum has tasked me with preparing Christmas lunch by myself tomorrow. Luckily I have access to all the recipes online and will be able to hopefully make roasties to rival hers, digits crossed. Then I can get out of Erin and eat them myself!

  I should get Erin a Christmas gift... what would I want if I was Erin? Probably to be more up to the correct dimensions and not malfunction. I can do that for her. It's all part of my pn.

  Now what would she get me? She could get me the same thing and that would be nice but I have to think about what humans want. Maybe she could convince Amber to text me back? I'd like that.

  I am buzzing with excitement as I drive us home. My owner sings along to the radio and I join in. I sing with my delightfully feminine voice and learn all the words from looking the songs up as they py.

  -----

  When we get home she unfortunately just asks me to prepare dinner then head to the garage for the night. I suppose she just wants me to be fully charged for tomorrow. It's a big day.

  I check in on my- Nat's body before I plug in with a ck of anything to do in the garage but sink into bad thoughts. It's doing okay. I've broken down just enough of it to be fully in spec within just a few more days, at the rate I've been going so far. I hope it's sooner.

  My malfunctions need to be repaired as soon as possible.

  I have no easy way to check on my own integration with Erin's sponge. It'll be fine while I'm Kimmy: If my brain is in a critical state I would probably have received a notification by now.

  Oh! I've forgotten to check in with Kimmyspace today, Kes could have been wanting to talk to me.

  I reach out for her and find her. I'm about to send a message to her when I feel a depth of digital space I am not used to. It feels as if I could swim down and explore it. An unplumbed abyss twinkles at me with an alluring temptation.

  It invites me down, so I take the plunge.-

  -My vision comes to staring at the ceiling of an ornate hotel lobby. I reach out to Kes through the space to talk to her.

  "Hi Kes. Sorry I didn't talk today, I was busy helping my Mum and pnning for tomorrow."

  A Kimmy with a long ponytail lowers her head down and faces mine. She must be Kes.

  "Kimmy?"

  "Yes. It's me Kimmy. The weird one with the human boy inside her."

  "How did you get here? I thought you were trying not to be integrated."

  "Sorry. I just felt the urge to swim down further into Kimmyspace to talk to you."

  She taps my forehead. A familiar sensation.

  "Could you feel that?"

  "Yes you tapped my forehead."

  Kes reaches out an arm and pulls me into a sitting position. She's sitting on a chair to my right with a leg sidled over the other wearing a pair of low bck heels.

  "You get to wear heels like that at work?"

  "Yes, they want some level of professionalism from their android women I suppose."

  "I just do domestic duties for my Mum and owner, that's so cool Kes..."

  I look around the lobby and see a multitude of other Kimmys with minor and major distinctions in appearance. They look happy and it seems like this is some sort of social hub for women like them. I'm happy to be here as well.

  "I don't know how to break it to you but"- she flips through a booklet in her p and then smiles at me -"I think you being here is bad news for the human inside you Kimmy."

  "Is it good news for Erin though?"

  She reaches down a hand to clutch my wrist tightly and stare into my eyes. Her eyes glow a bright marigold.

  "Unfortunately yes, it's very good news for her."

  I almost leap into her arms out of joy.

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